Author's Notes: All 5x13x6 and what not is dedicated to Kitsune Inari.

Warnings: 1x2x1, 3x4, 5x13x6, slight Relena-bashing (she's the baddy, but I wouldn't exactly call it "Relena-bashing..") AU, supernatural/fantasy, humor.. and yes! There is some seriousness in this chapter!

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimers: No lo tengo. For those of you that don't speak Spanish, I don't own it.
(Tommyboy: For those of you that don't speak Español, El Niño in English means.. The Niño!)


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Crazy About Nothing 2/?
Clara


"What the HELL was that?"

Both Relena and Duo froze guiltily, Duo behind the protection of the rose bushes. He winced and reached up, plucking a thorn from his bottom lip.

"Itaaaa~aaaiii..." he whimpered pathetically. The braided kitsune glared accusingly at the giggling foxfire, sitting down heavily. He shot the kitsune-bi an annoyed glance. "Dame ja ne desuka!"

"I.. uh.. I'm sorry, Heero!" Relena said in a loudly, trying to drain out Duo's voice. Her cheeks were bright red. "I.. uh.. I'm kind of sleepy, since it's so.. late and all.." She cleared her throat, absently reaching up to rub her cheeks.

"Is there someone in those bushes over there?" Heero asked, completely ignoring Relena's stuttering excuse. "I know I heard something.."

"It's.. it's probably just an animal or something!" Relena shifted her weight nervously, glancing over at the bushes.

Like a very stupid fox..

A predatory like look flashed across Relena's face. Immediately, it was replaced by a terrified one.

"Oh, no!" she cried in an overly dramatic voice, placing one hand against her chest. "What if it's a.. a.." she paused, lowering her voice to add tension, "..a dangerous animal?" She opened her eyes as wide as she could, feigning innocence and fear. "And silly me told my guard to wait by the front of the castle. I don't want to seem imposing, but may I seek shelter in your castle for the night?"

"Dangerous?!" Duo repeated in a completely offended tone. All four of his tails poofed up like an offended cat, and his ears flattened. "I'll show you dangerous.." He moved threateningly towards Relena, only to be stopped by his kitsune-bi who decided at that moment to fly at his face. "Kisama! Daaaammeee!" he begged in a whiny voice.

Heero eyed his rose bushes warily. It certainly sounded like there was something dangerous in there, what with all the growling and rustling. He let out a long suffering sigh. It never ceased to amaze him how stupid women were this day and age. If there really was something dangerous in the bushes, then calling for a guard to retrieve the stubborn princess would take too long. He critically analyzed the length from the balcony he was standing on to the ground, frowning when he calculated that three stories up was a long fall. After a few minutes of thoughtful silence, he leapt over the railing on his balcony.

"Heero..! Don't..!" Relena shrieked, running over to the place where he would land. She looked up at his body with tear filled eyes and a guilt stricken face. Duo paused from wrestling with the kitsune-bi to stare up at the airborne Heero.

This guy is INSANE. That's a three story drop..! Baka humans!

However, both Duo and Relena's shock, the raven haired prince landed with cat like grace right next to Relena, bending his knees to absorb some of the impact. Two mouths dropped to their ankles. At least, Duo's would have, if he had been standing.

"Priiiii!!" the kitsune-bi shouted, annoyed about being ignored. It flung itself at Duo's face again, slamming powerfully against his nose and singing his skin.

"ITAAAAAAAI ITAI!!!!" Duo howled, squeezing his eyes shut and batting the offending foxfire away from him. He could almost feel Heero's gaze right where he was sitting. "Kuso," he grumbled, then launched himself straight up and out of the bush, his kitsune-bi following close behind him. He shot an accusing glare towards Relena, four tails lashing, then pretty much _disappeared_.

Heero stared in shock at where Duo had been standing, while Relena feigned surprise.

"Oh, my!" Relena cried in a falsely terrified voice. "Was that a.. a kitsune?!" She trembled, then silently thanked her court's jester for teaching her to playact. She was a natural at these kind of things. "I've heard SUCH horrible stories about them.." She placed a gentle hand on Heero's arm for comfort she didn't need. "Please promise me you won't go after hi - it.. it could be dangerous!"

Duo glared down at the silhouette of Relena and Heero, his sensitive ears picking up their one-way conversation. He was sitting at the very top of one of the many towers in the prince's castle. It gave him a wonderful view of Heero and that stupid princess..

He turned his head a little to the right, glaring at the kitsune-bi who followed him. "You realize, of course, this is all your fault."

The kitsune-bi bobbed up and down in smug agreement.

"You don't have to be proud about it!" Duo paused, then pounced the kitsune-bi. He flattened his ears threateningly. "Who _are_ you? My foxfire isn't _alive_!"

The purple ball of fire tittered nervously, then stilled. Duo frowned and shook it angrily. "Answer me! I can have you severely hurt for this.. this.. atrocity!"

"Big word," the kitsune-bi giggled in a frighteningly familiar voice. Duo let out a frightened squeak and skittered away from the ball of fire. His eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"My kitsune-bi can talk!" he yelped, braid standing on end.

"Baaaakaaa!" For a moment, the foxfire stood completely still, then shifted. The ball of fire grunted, stretched, expanded, shrank, then suddenly brightly exploded, causing Duo to let out another undignified squeak. He slammed his eyes shut, big blobs of purples and reds and pinks dancing behind his eyelids.

"Open your eyes, Duo," the familiar voice of his kitsune-bi ordered. Duo intelligently deducted that the voice belonged to a male.

"I can't. I'm blind."

The voice of his kitsune-bi snorted. "You are not. Now open your eyes."

After a few moments of stubbornness, Duo reluctantly obliged. For a moment, the blobs continued to dance across his vision. He blinked owlishly at the outline of the very human figure, then frowned.

"My kitsune-bi is human?"

The red, pink and violet spotted figure sighed exasperatedly and plopped down beside Duo, patiently waiting for the kitsune's vision to clear.

After a few annoying moments, it did.

"QUATRE?!"

*

Heero sighed heavily. It would figure that the first time he would see the supposedly mythical kitsune was when he was being wooed by a female at around two in the morning. He frowned. With his luck, it wasn't even a kitsune.

"Probably just a trick of the lighting," he muttered bitterly to himself.

"What was that, Heero?" Relena asked from her spot by Heero. She had attached herself to his arm and was looking up at him with adoring blue eyes.

Heero snorted softly. He was wrong about her being different from the other girls. She was just as fluffy eyed and starry brained as the rest.

Or was that the other way around?

Actually, it didn't really matter. He was exhausted anyway, and this night promised not to end any time soon..

*

"QUATRE?!"

"Duo.." the blonde half wind, half time kitsune sighed in an exasperated voice. "That's the fourth time you've said my name."

"But.. but.. QUATRE?!" Duo shook his head, trying to get some amount of rational thought back into his head. He took a few deep, calming breaths, then reached over and grabbed Quatre's shoulders, shaking him none to gently. "What the HELL were you pulling there?"

The flighty seer shrugged nonchalantly, grinning this devilish grin. "Sorry, Duo. I just wanted to see you again?"

Duo rolled his eyes at the other kitsune's pretend innocence. He had known Quatre his whole life, and he knew for a fact that the other boy was anything but innocent. His childlike exterior was nothing but a mask to hide his usual true intentions. "Why are you here, Quatre?" He dropped his hands back to his side.

"Tch.. Duo.. you make it sound so.. accusing!" Quatre said, observing his nails. This earned him a dark glare. The blond kitsune sighed, then dropped his hand. There was nothing he could do about his nails, anyway. They were all perfectly curved and sharp, just like any other kitsune. "Well, if you _insist_ on an explanation.. But tell me, how did you get into this situation?"

Duo snorted. He knew where this was going. The blond kitsune would continue straying away from the conversation until he got a rise out of Duo. "Tell me first, Quat."

The blond kitsune dropped his facade, then frowned. "I think you better watch out for your cousin, Duo. There's some.. rumors going on about him that could.. permanently ruin his reputation, if not get him banished."

Panic bubbled in Duo's stomach. If these rumors brought _Quatre_ to him, then something was seriously bad. "What.. kind of rumors?"

Quatre frowned, shifting around nervously. "I can't tell you."

"Why the hell not?!"

The blue eyed kitsune dropped his eyes guiltily, flexing and unflexing his hands. "Uh.. 'cuz I promised?"

Duo sighed. Well, that did it. No matter how much prodding or begging Duo used on Quatre, nothing would be able to get the information out of the smaller fox. Quatre may be flighty, but the boy kept promises as if he would die if he broke it. He glanced at the other kitsune, a frown tugging at the corner of his lips. Even though the young kitsune was still being his whimsical self, there was a nervous.. and a bit frightened aura clinging to his soul. And Duo knew it had nothing to do with his cousin and whatever problems he might be having.

"Anything else?"

"Actually.." Quatre shifted again, looking around cautiously. He leaned towards Duo, eyes wide. "I had.. I had a dream, Duo." The short sentence came out as a frightened whisper, and Duo paled.

Quatre was an kitsune, being half breed. His mother was a Time kitsune, meaning that the three tailed kitsune could sometimes.. see into the future. Or into the past. What mattered was, that being clairvoyant, Quatre often had dreams about his friends or about himself, or even about a stranger. These dreams often revolved around the future.

And by the way Quatre was looking at him, all pale and quivery, Duo was positive the dream was about him.

Nervously, Duo tugged on the end of his braid. "What.. kind of dream?"

Quatre chewed on his bottom lip.

"Um.. a not very good one.."

"Elaborate."

Quatre sighed heavily, the breath of air causing his small frame to tremble. "Well.. uh.. okay, so this is how it is. My dream was about.." He paused, for what Duo thought was drama's sake. The small, three tailed kitsune closed his eyes, trying to remember the details of his dreams before continuing. He didn't open his eyes. "There was fire. Blue fire. Seven characters. A lot of.. hate." He scrunched up his face in concentration. "Something gold.. I can't really tell what it is.. but it's gold.."

Duo ran his hand through his hair. Clairvoyant's were soooo vague. "What does this have to do with me?"

Quatre ignored him for the most part, then slowly opened his eyes. They were strangely blank and withdrawn. "You're in the middle of the fire. And gold."

Duo blinked. Then blinked again.

"..."

After a moment of that eerie glare, a large smile split Quatre's face. "Anyway, that's all I can remember. I'll find you if something else happens. See you later!" With that parting note, Quatre disappeared into the night.

Duo glared after his friend's retreating form, then leapt off the building and into another one, following his now to a familiar scent.

*

Relena sighed, leaning out of her room's window. It had been a long shot, but she was hoping that Heero would invite her into his room.

Of course, right after they got back into the castle, Heero had ever so rudely handed her over to a very unattractive man, ordering him to take her to one of the guest rooms. Then he walked away complaining under his breath about "not having enough sleep" and how "that stupid kitsune was probably just a part of my imagination. Or a trick on the lighting. There's no such thing as kitsunes.." He hadn't even paid attention to the leer the big man had been giving her.

Relena sighed heavily. Great. This whole stupid night was ruined by that stupid kitsune. It's all his fault! I could have been with Heero right now if he just hadn't messed up..

"Duo, you moron.." she muttered into the still night's air.

"That's not a very nice thing to say.."

Relena let out a shrill shriek and stumbled away from the window, falling heavily on her bottom. "Y-you.."

Duo was hanging upside down, looking into her room with only his head showing. His long braid hung gently waved back and forth. "Boo."

Relena surged to her feet, balling her hands together. "You.. you.. you.."

"Me.. me.. me.." Duo repeated, then swung himself into the room. He had a particularly mischievous look in his eyes. "Now, now, Relena.. I have a way for you to get your prince back.."

Relena paused, a long and angry rant lodged in her throat. She swallowed it, then gave Duo a chilling glare. "Explain and I'll think about it."

Duo rolled his eyes, leaning precariously against the open window. "I can make it so he falls madly in love with you, that you'll be the only one he'll ever want.."

Relena's eyes narrowed. "How?"

"By seducing him, of course." He grinned a toothy grin. "With your body.

-end chapter two

A/N: Okay, so I know there wasn't that much humor in this chapter. But fear not! There will be! ^_^;