Author's Notes: Numero Uno, this may appear to have some.. Relena bashing in it. No, I'm not bashing Relena, but she just seemed like the perfect character for.. well.. you'll see. ^^; Anyway, don't worry. I'm an avid believer of.. not bashing people, so their will be a VERY limited amount of anyone bashing. But you have to understand, it's just her CHARACTER, not her.. *sweatdrops* Yeah, I'm babbling..

Warnings: Shounen ai tendancies, OOCness, humor (should I really be warning you for this?), a sick, grouchy Heero, and finally, an over emotional Wufei.

Couples: ..Uh.. well.. if you read the first chapter already.. then you should know..

Disclaimer: If you wish to sue me, please look at the thousands and thousands of people who have written stories for this fandom. After you are finished suing all of them, I shall grant you a permission in court. ^^;; So, anyway, Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me. The Princess' Bridegroom does not belong to me. Anything objects in this story that doesn't belong to me, doesn't belong to me. Chhhh...


The Princess' Bridegroom
Chapter Two
by Clara



"As it was, after seven years of being without his lost love, the beautiful braided boy was forced to marry, by order of the princess of the Sanq kingdom."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Duo dropped his book on his lap, a sweatdrop sliding very slowly down the back of his head. This time, it wasn't just his precious Hee-chan who was howling, but three other voices that surprisingly joined in. Three other very familiar voices.

Okay.. this is getting just a little frightening.. He didn't have enough time to finish his thoughts, because the "sick pilot" suddenly launched himself at Duo and grabbed his collar. And shook.

"A-a-ack.." Duo wheezed, eyes bugging out. "H-H-eeeee-eee-ro.. s-stop!" He flailed at the "perfect pilot", feeling as if his brain was being rattled around in his head. "L-l-et me gooo!"

After a few moments of shaking the daylights out of Duo, Heero slowly pried his fingers off the other boy's shirt. Duo immediately reached up and clutched his neck, violet eyes huge. The two pilots stared at each other for a few minutes, one looking a little shocked and slightly annoyed, and the other looking slightly guilty but even more satisfied.

"You.. you.." Duo gasped out, eyes still huge. Slowly, he grinned. "You're jealous."

Of who..? Me? Relena? Damnit..

"Hn. Baka." Heero shifted his gaze away from Duo, staring fixedly at the miniature gundam Duo had hung on the ceiling fan, just so the braided moron could watch it fly in circles when he turned it on. In a very pouty, very childish voice, Heero said, "you killed me, then married Relena. I feel used."

Did.. did he just crack a joke?!

Duo sighed dramatically, then stood up, closing the book. "I think you've had too much stress for today, Heero. I'll continue this story for you tomorrow."

For a moment, Duo could have sworn he heard three faint "nooo's".

"Good night, Heero." The storyteller walked over to the side of Heero's bed and picked up the half eaten, neglected bowl of soup. He stood up, offered a smile and the wide eyed Heero, then turned around and started to walk out of the room. He was stopped by a gentle tugging on his sleeve.

Glancing down, he found himself face to face with what made his teeth feel like they would rot out.

Heero was looking up at him with these wide, childlike eyes that begged for him to stay. he had this adorable little pout on his face that made Duo melt into a gooey mess on the inside. "Please stay?" Heero pleaded. "I'm okay, really!"

Duo blanched. He glanced at Heero, then blanched again. Did Heero.. the Perfect Soldier.. just plead? And.. pout?!

Woah.. I'm in the Twilight Zone, or something.. He paused while setting the bowl back on the ground. He must be more sick than I thought..

Not knowing what else to do, much less not being capable of doing anything else, Duo stumbled back to his chair with a dumbfounded expression on his face, then opened his book again.

*

Wufei none too gently pushed Quatre's head away from the door, then claimed the blond pilot's spot. He pressed his ear against the door, listening desperatly, with a shocked expression on his face.

"Hey!" Quatre yelped, offended. _He_ was the one who snagged that perfect place on the door!

"Urusai!" Wufei ordered, carefully listening. "I think.. I think Heero just pleaded."

Trowa sighed, having a feeling that this little storytelling escapade was going a little too far. He glanced at the Arabian pilot, intent on telling him just that, when his visible green eye widened. He took a step back, said a quick prayer for Wufei, then put his hands over his eyes.

Just in time to miss a beautiful tackle by Quatre.

"Wuuufeeeeiii! Omae o korosu!"

*

Deciding that it was in his best interest, Duo chose to ignore the noise coming from behind the door. It's best not to ask when one doesn't want to know..

"So anyway.. where was I? Oh. Yeah."

**

Duo had married Relena, but not out of love. In fact, he couldn't stand her. However, he did it because he knew the people - his people, needed someone who had the experience with living a hard life. Needed someone who they could relate to.

Sighing, he stared at his reflection in the elaborately designed mirror. He knew he looked beautiful, luscious hair pulled up into a high ponytail, so many jewels around his neck that it he had to concentrate on standing up straight. Princess Relena had dressed him in the finest silks, which made him squirm uncomfortably. The cloth stuck to his skin like a plastic bag because of the heat.

"Well." Duo smiled cheekily at his reflection, then flipped his hair over his shoulder. "Might as well get this show on the road!" Standing straight, despite the slight incline of his neck because of the heavy silver, he carefully walked out of the room.

*

"..the beautiful Prince.. Duocup!"

On cue, Duo stepped into the sunlight, surrounded by awed people. However, the only thought that graced his mind was..

DUOCUP?!

He glared accusingly up at Relena, then scowled when he correctly read the message she inveighed through her eyes.

Don't you like it, dear? I thought it up myself.

Angrily, his once light steps turned into furious stomps as he headed toward his beautiful wife.

**

Wufei had stopped from wrestling with Quatre, and was busily lying on his back with two twin sets of tears running down his cheeks.

He was laughing so hard he was crying.

"Duocup! I *gasp* can't believe it!" After successfully getting that sentence out, the honorbound Chinese fell into yet another fit of giggles.

Trowa shared a slightly worried glance with Quatre. Or, he would have, if Quatre wasn't busy with sitting smugly on Wufei's chest. He looked, as Duo liked to say, like a cat who just caught a canery.

Sometimes.. Trowa thought to himself, ..I wonder if I'm the only sane one here..

**

However, before he got to even the middle of the little path the people had made for him, he was rudely stopped. Duo was concentrating so hard on stomping that he nearly overbalanced when he heard the voice.

"BOOOO!" an old man with a mushroom for hair crowed. Duo spun around savagely, feuled by the name "Duocup".

Duocup! DUOCUP! How.. how.. ICK!

"What?" the poorboy-turned-prince snapped. "Are you trying to scare me or something? Your face is doing a damn good job of it in the first place.."

Mr. Mushroom paused in surprise, then scowled. "BOOOOO!" he repeated. "Booo! Look at him! Insultin' innocent old men!" The man huffed indignantly, puffing out his thin chest like a turkey. When all he recieved was a violet eyed glare, the man deflated, then resumed glaring at Duo.

"Look at him, marrying when he has a perfectly good man already.."

"You don't understand," the braided boy ground out. "Heero's dead.."

"TRUE LOVE LIVES!" The man flailed his hands wildly like an angry monkey. "You marry when your true love is still alive! BOOO!" The old man continued, flailing his arms with more vigor. "So BOW! Bow to your prince of trash! BOW!"

Duo

(cup)

frowned and took a step back.

"Hey.. hey.. it's nothing like that.. I mean, I.."

"BOOOOW!! BOWWWWW!!!!" The man alternated the way he said the word by his tone of voice, once in a while dragging on the "owww" sound, but also pronouncing it as "bow-ooo", making him sound almost like a dog. "BOW TO YOUR PRINCE OF TRASH!!" The once cheering crowd poured down on him, vengeful looks on their faces.

Horrified, Duo stumbled back more, stepping on the edge of the oversized silk pants. Letting out a frightened yelp, Duo fell unceremoniously on his bottom and..

..woke up.

**

"HAAAAAA!!" Wufei triumphantly shouted, shoving Quatre off him and doing a touchdown dance. "I KNEW he was dreaming, and that Heero was still alive and they would live happily ever after and whatnot..!"

Trowa sighed, wondering if even being there, listening to this inane story with these two.. two.. psychos, was worth it.

*

Duo paused from his storytelling to glance at the door with an upraised eyebrow.

"How come I have the funny feeling that the hills have eyes?"

Heero, who had controlled his sudden bout of emotions that this story was throwing him into, gave Duo a weak impression of his death glare.

"Baka. Stop getting distracted and continue."

This time, the braided boy's eyebrows shot to his hairline.

What a sudden change of events..

**

Duo's eyes shot around the room nervously.

A dream. Everything had been a dream. Everything.

He was completely disconcerted, having no idea where he was. It didn't _look_ like the tiny room he had on the farm. In fact, it looked oddly like.. like..

"Noooooo," Duo hissed into the night, then grabbed on over stuffed pillow and pulled it over his head.

He was in the room Princess Relena had so graciously shoved him in.

**

"So," Heero interrupted slowly, "you _did_ get married to her.."

Not liking the gleam in Heero's eyes, Duo waved his hand and smiled nervously.

"Waitwaitwait.."

**

After a few weeks of being cramped up with his FIANCEE (Duo inserted a rather necessary amount of emphasis on that word) Relena and her ungodly amount of _pink_, Duo decided he deserved at least a short break from the.. the.. PINK castle. He saddled his favorite horse Scythe, one of the only things he was grateful for from the spoiled princess, and made his way as far away from Relena's lands as he could.

PINK!

Duo shuddered, thankful to be out of the confining quarters of the inherited castle. He rode for hours, enjoying the feeling of the wind tousling his golden brown locks, until he came upon the edge of a forest he had never been in, nor even near. Tall scattered trees had seemed to shoot up suddently, far apart from each other but apparently becoming thicker as he galloped on.

Relena had warned him many times that he should never set foot in the dreaded forest, for it was quite dangerous. She informed him that it was filled with robbers, who were flooded with perverted and dangerous thoughts in their minds.

Dangerous.

Without further hesitation, Duo plunged Scythe swiftly into the thick mass of trees.

-end


Hm, several things I ought to apologize for. Number one, I slightly messed up on Duo's dream sequence. It turns out, Buttercup (Duocup, heehee), had her dream towards the end of the movie. Well.. yeah, you can see where I messed up there. I hope no one's annoyed. ^^;

I'm not entirely sure if this is as humourous as the first chapter..