Yeah...You've seen them before, and now for the first time ever (Saya checked) you can read the Kanda Yuu owner's manual. A friend suggested she write one and it looked so fun... so she did...and it was fun! She's gonna do one for each DGM chara too... well, the chara's she likes...heh.

Saya doesn't own the idea, or the DGM charas, she just had a lot of fun with this. Anygay, let's get this party started!

Kanda Yuu: The User Guide and Instruction Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a KANDA YUU unit. To ensure that you receive the full benefits of your exorcist-samurai, please follow the following instructions exactly, for doing otherwise could be hazardous to your health, and anyone else in the vicinity.

Basic Information:

Name: Kanda Yuu (Don't use his first name!)

Age: 18

Place of Manufacture: Japan

Height: 175 cm

Weight: 61 kg

Module Type: Angry

Your KANDA YUU unit will come with the following accessories:

One wide-collared original exorcist's coat

One tight-fitting enhanced exorcist's coat

Two pairs of uniform pants

Five belts

Three pairs of black slacks

Three pairs of white button-up shirts

One Mugen (with additional six attacks)

One Hour Glass with a Lotus inside (Caution! Handle with care!)

Two pairs of boots

One box of hair ties (warning: if you have a LENALEE LEE or LAVI unit, they may often try to steal your KANDA YUU unit's hair ties.)

One fluffy cardigan sweater

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When you first receive your KANDA YUU unit, he will be cranky, murderous, anti-social, and cold. No, that is not a malfunction in his programming, that is simply how this model in the D.GRAY-MAN collection is. If you are unsatisfied with this, perhaps you should've read the information on him in the buyer's guide. KANDA YUU is not suggested for people who are frightened easily, take rejection badly, are overly-social, noisy, or own an ALLEN WALKER or FROI TIEDOLL unit.

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Programming:

Your KANDA YUU is a very anti-social unit. He does not communicate well with other people and units. He is a unit made for fighting, not for loving. The KANDA YUU unit has many useful functions though, such as:

Exorcist: Got an AKUMA unit infestation? Maybe a neighbor or even yourself has a MILLENNIUM EARL or NOAH unit that's creating too many of those pesky units? Then the KANDA YUU unit is for you. He is an excellent fighter unit with six different attacks that can be used for exterminating AKUMA units. The KANDA YUU unit works best alone.

Room-clearer: Maybe you're an anti-social type too, which is why you got the KANDA YUU unit, so you could enjoy silence without being alone or worrying about AKUMA units. Maybe you have some annoying siblings, or people just won't leave you alone. The KANDA YUU unit has the unique ability to clear an entire room (or possibly house) of all human life forms except yourself with a simple glare and a few words. For those really clingy people that just refuse to leave you be, he will even activate his innocence, Mugen, to use against them. Goodby annoying siblings!

Japanese chief: The KANDA YUU unit is an excellent cook, who's specialties are Soba and Tempura. Don't ask him to make Mitarashi Dango though, as they will remind him of a certain ALLEN WALKER unit, which he despises.

Escort: Need to get somewhere safely and quickly? The KANDA YUU unit is just right for you! If his mission is to bring you somewhere, you can be sure you will make it there in time! He will slice through all obstacles, and protect you for it is his duty! But please refrain from taking him into large social gatherings, there's no telling if he will be able to remain civil.

You're KANDA YUU unit comes with 8 different modes:

Civil (default)

Angry

Mission

Superior

Angst

Murderous Rage

Content

Respectful (level five unlock)

Please take note: the KANDA YUU unit is exceptionally difficult to deal with. If you are frightened or discouraged easily, you may be dissatisfied with the unit.

Also, "Angry" and "Murderous Rage" are different. When in Angry mode, your unit's attacks consist of the verbal kind, that is, hurling insults and death threats at you. People with low self-esteem are cautioned from purchasing a KANDA YUU unit. People with MIRANDA LOTTO units may also wish to refrain from buying him for this reason. When in Murderous Rage mode your KANDA YUU unit's attacks will be physical attacks, and will cause bodily harm, and destruction. Be sure to have a construction crew on hand. Murderous Rage mode is easily triggered by saying he looks pretty or girlish.

Your KANDA YUU unit's default mode Civil does not mean he is nice, it means he is tolerant and doesn't try to kill you, your siblings, your parents, your dog, other units, etc. It's really more like an apathetic mode.

While in Mission mode, your unit will be extremely serious and straightforward. Don't let anything get in his way (including harmless furniture...) Or it may be destroyed.

The KANDA YUU unit's superior mode is usually the after-effect of destroying mass amounts of AKUMA units, defeating a NOAH unit, or beating the snot out of a LAVI or ALLEN WALKER unit. Your unit will probably smirk a lot, which may cause nosebleed, depending on your personal tastes. Keep tissues on hand when he is in the mode!

You're KANDA YUU unit's Content mode may seem difficult to activate at first, but in truth, you just have to get a few things just right. First off, get Soba, perfectly made by a JERRY unit, which you should always keep on hand for this reason. Next, keep him in a quiet room, filled with comfortable chairs. Keep his Hour Glass out of the room, but in an area where safety is assured. Ensure that no annoying persons are in the vicinity, and that no ALLEN WALKER, LAVI, KOMUI, FINDER, AKUMA, NOAH, or MILLENIUM EARL units will be visiting. Some Zabuton cushions for meditating are also suggested. If you are lucky, you might see a contented semi-smile, but don't hold your breath. it's a rarity.

It's next to impossible to get your KANDA YUU unit to respect you. It'll take a lot of work, and if you're lucky, he might actually use your name, but anything beyond that is pretty much impossible for anyone but a GENERAL figure to obtain.

Relations with other units:

The D.GRAY-MAN collection is split into multiple divisions. KANDA YUU units are part of the BLACK ORDER division, subdivision EXORCIST.

Interaction with other EXORCIST units:

ALLEN WALKER: Your KANDA YUU unit positively hates this unit. If you own an ALLEN WALKER unit, they why the hell did you buy a KANDA YUU unit? They will break out into fights over the littlest things (like breathing), and cause mass amounts of destruction if their innocences are activated. ALLEN WALKER units will cause your KANDA YUU unit to enter Murderous Rage mode. Please don't leave these two in the same room together without a LENALEE LEE figure.KANDA YUU units will protect this unit though, despite his hate for this unit.

LAVI: The KANDA YUU unit can tolerate this unit, unless it is in prankster mode, in which case, he will make the KANDA YUU unit switch to Angry and possibly Murderous Rage mode. However, while in civil mode, these two units can communicate easily, well, as easily as your unit can. They also fight well together, due to years of fighting side by side. However, LAVI units enjoy stealing KANDA YUU unit's hair ties, and Mugen, which often incites Murderous Rage mode. If your KANDA YUU is in Murderous Rage mode when a nearby LAVI unit is in Violently Angry mode, the end result is always destruction. Be sure to keep a medic, cleaning crew, and construction crew on hand.

LENALEE LEE: The KANDA YUU unit will almost always be in civil mode when it comes to this unit. The LENALEE LEE unit is well-suited to the KANDA YUU unit, and can easily defuse his Angry or Murderous Rage modes. She is also good at keeping damages to a minimum, and in worst-case scenarios she will use her clip board accessory as a weapon and pummel him with it. LENALEE LEE units often save the lives of other units from the KANDA YUU unit's Murderous Rage. They also inspire angst mode when they themselves are in depression mode.

NOISE MARIE: The KANDA YUU unit works very well with the NOISE MARIE unit. Both are on the same team, and fight perfectly with each other. NOISE MARIE units are usually very quiet, and serious, therefore Kanda is almost always in civil mode while around this unit.

FROI TIEDOLL: Technically in the subdivision GENERAL, KANDA YUU units respect this unit, but hate him all the same. KANDA YUU units do not like this unit because it's default is Fatherly mode. KANDA YUU despises this unit's tendency to talk about anything and everything, and stop in the middle of missions to draw. Still, the FROI TIEDOLL unit is the KANDA YUU unit's master, and therefore, the KANDA YUU unit usually remains in civil mode with this person.

Interactions with BLACK ORDER units:

KOMUI LEE: This unit is one that incites Anger, Murderous Rage, Mission mode, and Superiority from your KANDA YUU unit. Usually, he will anger your unit with his random nonsense or details about scientific experiments that KANDA YUU cannot understand. He will make the KANDA YUU unit enter Murderous Rage mode if he is around a KOMLIN 1,2, or 3 unit (KOMLINS sold separately). Once your unit has successfully defeated the KOMUI LEE unit or a KOMLIN unit, he will enter Superiority mode, especially if an ALLEN WALKER unit has to deal with a KOMLIN unit later. KOMUI LEE units can also put KANDA YUU units in mission mode.

JERRY: KANDA YUU units try to stay civil with this unit, for it is in charge of making his favorite soba and tempura. Sometimes though, when this unit is in Gushing mode, KANDA YUU units will switch to Angry mode.

FINDER: KANDA YUU units always feel Superior around FINDER units. They often make him enter Anger mode at the same time. When KANDA YUU units enter two modes at once, and one of those modes is Superior, KANDA YUU units may become sword-happy. Deaths and unit destruction may result.

interactions with NOAH units:

MILLENNIUM EARL: KANDA YUU units hate this unit, all of the BLACK ORDER divisions of the D.GRAY-MAN series do. However, KANDA YUU units are not dumb enough to take this figure on alone, and will often opt to fight together with another unit, preferably a GENERAL on EXORCIST unit.

SKIN BORIC: KANDA YUU units despise this unit, and will kill it any time he sees one. However, the SKIN BORIC unit is a strong fighting unit, and can inflict mass amounts of damage to your KANDA YUU unit. Your KANDA YUU unit will always win though, because that's just how these two were programed to interact.

TYKI MIKK: KANDA YUU units do not often interact with this unit. However, when both of them are in their Superior modes, a battle of the egos will ensue. This usually leads to the TYKI MIKK unit entering Black: Murder mode, and your KANDA YUU entering Murderous Rage mode. Destruction will follow.

RHODE CAMELOT: KANDA YUU units rarely interact with this unit, therefore, their interaction has not been properly studied. However, it is assumed that RHODE CAMELOT figures can possibly force your KANDA YUU figure into a semi-permanent Angst mode. Keep these two away from each other.

AKUMA: KANDA YUU units destroy the AKUMA units. AKUMA units usually cause KANDA YUU units to enter Mission mode, and then Superior mode.

Cleaning:

Your KANDA YUU unit is aware of how to clean itself, for the most part. But he has a habit of using regular soap in his hair. Soap is bad for hair, so please, make him use shampoo. The KANDA YUU units prefers a tradition Japanese bath.

KANDA YUU units also know how to dry themselves. Don't even attempt to do it for him.

Energy:

The KANDA YUU figure can make it's own food, but prefers a JERRY unit's soba. He is low-maintenance, give him soba or tempura, and he's all set.

WARNING: the Lotus Hourglass is the KANDA YUU unit's main source of energy! If it breaks, so does your unit! Please take care of it!

Frequently asked questions:

Q. My KANDA YUU unit only glares at me! How do I get him to act differently?

A. KANDA YUU units are generally civil, but just because he's civil doesn't mean he wont glare, that's just part of his programming. However, if he seems to be glaring more than he should, you probably have not given him enough soba lately. Our you may simply be too talkative for his liking. KANDA YUU units always glare at things they don't like. He doesn't have a problem, it's probably you.

Q. Um...I kinda want my figure to go a little yaoi with my [insert figure name here unit, is there any way to do that?

A. For the traditional figure, no. But, if you go to our special yaoi/yuri-figures catalog, you can find a KANDA YUU figure with settings such as seme, uke, horny, needy etc.

Q. My unit wont eat anything I make for him!

A. Did you read it when we said that he prefers a JERRY unit's soba? You can do one of two things, in this case. One, you can learn how to make soba and tempura. Two, you can purchase a JERRY unit to do it for you.

Q. My figure refuses to address me by name, how do I fix that?

A. You can't, it's in his programming to give people derogative names. The only way he'll ever use your name is if you earn his respect, which is very difficult.

Q. Why is the KANDA YUU figure always such an ass? I want him nicer!

A. It's in the KANDA YUU unit's programming to be an ass. If you wanted a nice unit, perhaps you should've opted for an ALLEN WALKER, LAVI, or LENALEE LEE figure?

Troubleshooting:

Problem: He's stuck in angst mode

solution: Take him away from his lotus and get him some soba. Let him meditate for a while, and get some AKUMA figures for him to destroy. A LENALEE LEE unit might be able to help. If all that doesn't work, then get an ALLEN WALKER unit, which is bound to force him into Angry or Murderous Rage mode. A LAVI could work too. If the problem persists, there may be a problem in his programming, in which case you should have a KOMUI unit fix him, or send him back.

Problem: He's being nice, it's freaking you out.

Solution: There's definitely something wrong with him, send him back.

Problem: He won't fight AKUMA units.

Solution: Get another EXORCIST figure to provoke him into fighting them. KANDA YUU units do not have a lazy setting, so this problem could be internal, or he's just that far into his Angst mode. If the problem persists send him back.

Problem: His wounds aren't healing as quickly as they used to.

Solution: this cannot be fixed, you probably put him in one too many life-threatening situations. Stop putting him in such dangerous fights and check his lotus regularly.

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With proper care and maintenance, your KANDA YUU unit will live a full life, protecting you from AKUMA units, NOAH units, and any other annoyance you can think up. His warranty will last for many years, unless he fights a MILLENNIUM EARL figure alone, or uses his more advanced attacks too many times. If you are sensitive, naive, sweet, have low self-esteem, can't take an insult, or like to talk about ALLEN WALKER units too much, you may be displeased with this unit. If you are, for whatever reason, displeased with your purchase, simply tell him that "that person" is off somewhere on the other side of the planet, and he'll run off to search and never bother coming back.

Yeah...this was fun...Saya might do more, depending on how you people liked it :3. So what'd ya think? Horrible, middling, or good?