Standard disclaimer, yaahhh digg.
And a quick note, the first chapter's style is completely different from the rest of this story… it's a whole bundle casualerish :)… and yes, to my faithful readers, I am rewriting this. H8erZ gon' h8.
(and if it pleases you so, you can skip the first bit, I suppose.)
day 01 7:54 am [after]
Sakura stared at the clock, willing the second hand to slow down with narrowed eyes as it passed the 7 and the bell went off. She nearly let out a panicked 'eek,' but tucked her bottom lip under her teeth to stop herself as her heart began boom, boom, booming inside her chest.
She sharply turned her head away from the door to stare at her binder, eyeing the door as students began to shuffle in. Her body shrank farther into her chair as her classmates sat down in the room around her.
She barely noticed the noise and stopped pretending to be busy when he came into the room. Her chest hurt as the boom, boom, booming turned into badump, boom, badump, boomboomboom, badump, boomboomboomboom, badump.
She was nervous and she stared, wide-eyed, like a deer caught in headlights as he walked by her and her iron grip on her pen didn't lighten the entire hour.
day 05 8:18 am [after]
Sakura was nervous. Incredibly. He had yet to even acknowledge her, but she could sense his anger underneath it all. In fact, the entire class could feel it brewing.
The room would become eerily cold and quiet when he entered and took his seat in the back of the room and her peers would remain utterly silent the entire hour, refusing to make a noise—much to the teacher's pleasure.
Sakura's hand shook as she attempted to continue to take notes, reminding herself to breathe every few seconds.
"Anyhow, just a quick reminder that yes it may seem like finals are quite a while away, you need to start studying if you haven't already! The worst of high school is almost ov…"
Sakura tried to focus, but it was an uphill struggle that she lost.
day 13 8:39 am [after]
To say Sakura was confused, would be the most severe understatement imaginable.
Every day she held her breath as he walked into class, waiting for a confrontation, or a snide remark, or for his angry gaze to make contact with her sorry self—but it never came.
Nevertheless, she stayed unexplainably anxious whenever she saw him and it was hardly something she could control.
day 27 8:03 am [after]
She could feel her tears welling up in her eyes. The majority of the class had gone back to talking boisterously (except for the meekest, nerdiest of the bunch) and girls had begun draping themselves all over him again.
Just like the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that he walked into the class and just sat down at his desk.
It was like she wasn't even there. She was nonexistent.
And she supposed that perhaps that she should be grateful that he hadn't made her the social outcast of the school—that he hadn't brazenly given the entire school the freedom to mock and shun her.
But in all honesty, this hurt more.
His ignoring—it broke her heart. Completely and utterly. He acted like she didn't mean anything, like she never mattered to him—like she never existed.
"Sasuke-kun, is it true that you have a girlfriend?"
Every fraction of Sakura's being froze.
She clenched her fists, lowering her head and letting her long hair cover her face as her tears wetted the desk, a voice in her head chanting 'pathetic, pathetic, pathetic' and another 'I told you so. It was too good to be true.'
"Awh! How long have you guys been together?" She turned her head, watching him as he replied, making eye contact for a moment as he answered with a nonchalant shrug. "A few months."
She spun back around, her fingers covered her mouth to prevent her sob from escaping and she pressed her forehead against the desk, trying to stop her body from shaking.
"Hey… Haruno, you crying?"
She dabbed her eyes, weary of smudging her makeup. She looked up, to meet the look at the person that had asked, choosing to ignore the tens of eyes that were now trained on her. She could practically hear their sneers: "she's always been in love with Sasuke-kun, doesn't she know that she doesn't stand a chance?"
"Yeah…" a new resolve made itself known inside of her, and she let her eyes flicker over to him, their eyes catching again.
"…But it's nothing important." She finished quietly, her head screaming 'Lie, lie, lie.'
But her rational side shut it up with a simple truth: It was just a joke.
She looked back at her desk as tears began drip, drip, dripping down her face again.
'I'm just a joke.'
day 43 8:56 am [after]
She tucked a strand of her lengthy hair behind her ear, a smile on her face as she chattered quietly with the boy that sat next to her.
"Ay, Sakura. You have a really pretty face, why do you hide behind your long hair?"
Sakura spluttered unintelligibly both at the compliment and the question, trying to reply—('because everyone says he likes long hair.')—but her only answer was a piece of her past that she wanted to bury away.
She smiled genuinely with a shrug as the bell rung. "I don't know."
day 64 8:37 am [after]
With her hair gone, it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders (or more accurately, her head). It was nearly liberating and it made smiling easier—it made being happy possible.
These past three weeks of short-hairedness had been absolutely blissful.
And as ridiculously small and unimportant as it may have seemed, the symbolism behind her hair was quite clear-cut: Sasuke-kun—and it was a reminder she did not need; especially with him already plaguing her thoughts day in and day out just by breathing the same air as her.
And then he sauntered into class, handing the teacher a note that excused his lateness and the lightness on her heart was replaced with a brick.
She let out a sigh; it was the first of many steps to get over it, she supposed.
day 83 7:49 [after]
It was odd. To an extent, even bizarre. With Sakura's resolve to move on, to get over it, it seemed that Sasuke made himself known, sneaking his way into her life and just about screaming for her attention. It angered her, and because of it, indifference was a skill she had been forced to master.
Sakura strolled into class, giving the room a quick onceover for a seat, before settling for one in the third row. Contently, she pulled out her phone, senselessly opening apps and closing them as she waited for class to begin.
Precisely three minutes later, he showed up, ambling into the room like he owned it. His very presence still made her incapable of breathing and it made her mad at everything in the world except him. As he made his way to her desk, stopping in front of it, she continued to busy herself with her purse, counting the loose change at the bottom, as if it was the most imperative thing in the world.
"Sakura." He paused, waiting for her to acknowledge his company.
She squeezed the strap of her bag, forcing a tight smile on her face before looking up at him.
"Good morning." She attempted to dismiss him with a wave of her hand but he stayed steadfast at her desk, dipping his hands into his pockets as he watched her.
She narrowed her eyes and his smirk made her question everything that was right in the world.
'How can anyone be so gorgeous?'
She kept her tone clipped and dismissive, "class is about to begin; you really ought to get to your seat."
He shrugged. "In case you failed to notice, Sakura—"
"—nobody's even showed up, yet."
"Why, thank you for stating the obvious." She continued to pointlessly search in her bag, counting the 77 cents that was in it again. "I don't think I would have figured it out without you." She kept her voice flat and monotone, even with her insides turning into a hapless pile of slush.
Sakura did not miss the slight frown that etched itself onto his perfect face as he leaned down to look at her. She inconspicuously sucked in a breath, narrowing her eyes further at him.
"You'd be lost without me."
She didn't breathe again until he was in his seat—far, far, far away from her.
day 89 8:11 am [after]
With summer vacation creeping around the corner and exams finished, few students bothered to show up to school. Most were already gone, visiting the beaches before all the tourists came in.
But, there were a relative number of students that came to school anyways, to sit through six study halls at the teachers frantically finished up last minute grading.
Haruno Sakura was one of those students.
And much to her chagrin, so was Uchiha Sasuke.
The last two days, her first hour had been filled with her staring out the window, his gaze locked on her back as she huddled into herself to get away from it.
'Paa-aaathetic!' The voice in her head would singsong.
'Stop staring at me.' She wished for mind control, because she would've made him move to Antarctica.
'Then again,' she deliberated 'that still wouldn't be far enough.'
day 93 8:29 am [after]
The simplest way to describe the last few days—trying to forget the object of all your affections as he shoots figurative lasers into your back with his freakishly smoldering eyes.
She sucked in some air before blowing it out, scrawling and doodling on her notebook as she waited for class to end.
"Class," the teacher glanced up at the nine students in the room. "I need to take some last minute grades up to the office." She stood up. "I trust that I can leave a few eleventh graders in my room without having to worry about a tornado when I get back?"
"Yes, sensei," the class mumbled back.
She shook her head, leaving the room. "Ten minutes. I'll be back. Continue your study hall."
Sakura read through some of her old text messages, reading through the ones from Ino that she had locked because they cracked her up to tears every time she read them.
"Sakura." Her heart leaped into her throat and she gulped it down. "Mind if I have a seat?"
"N-No." she entirely hated being taken by surprise. She cleared her throat before finishing. "Go right ahead."
He sat down and she wanted to shove her pencil into her chest to stop her heart from being so stupid.
"I can't help but wonder why you're at school." Sakura panicked, unsure whether it was a statement or a question that she should answer and before she could properly analyze, her mouth was answering and she was blurting out her reason: "I'd rather not miss any days."
'Geek to the max, 'Kura. Well done.'
To her surprise, he smirked. "I'm not surprised; school's always been a priority for you."
She nodded numbly, her wall of indifference crumbling. "Yeah," she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I guess for you too." She took another stab at a careless attitude.
He nodded once before silence fell upon them.
Before she could stop herself, she continued on blabbing.
"I mean, you've always considered education important. You've been taking AP classes since freshman year and you're already taking a math and science course at U of K…" he raised an eyebrow and she felt her face heating up. "I mean, that's what I heard." She finished, lamely.
It was pitiable how quickly her resolution died with his attention.
'Indifference, indifference, indifference!'
"It's true." He said simply.
Again, she couldn't stop herself from rattling on. "It's really admirable, Sasuke-kun. To be in eleventh grade and taking classes at such a prestigious university? It's quite a feat."
She was completely taken aback when he let out a laugh—it sent chills down her spine. It sounded outright malicious. "You're still in love with me, aren't you Sakura?"
Her throat constricted and her heart apprehensively skipped a beat "No…" her voice was quiet and meek and she hated herself for it when he laughed again, her form freezing with the cruelty behind it.
"Lying is bad, Sakura." He tutted like he was scolding a child, his eyes dark and uncaring.
Her crumpled and torn heart hurt more with his concealed declaration of indifference. She looked up at him, his face distorted through her tears.
She stared at him, taking in the smirk on his face and the blackness of his eyes. "I…I…"
"Honestly, Sakura, speak up. You're being a little annoying."
She didn't notice the falter in his smirk as she smeared her makeup whilst getting rid of her tears. She stared at him solemnly, the last fraction of her first love breaking apart.
She couldn't remember why she was so hopelessly in love with him. At the time, all she could see was an asshole, a complete jackass who had robbed her of the wonders and the sweetness that was supposed to be your first love.
It angered her and she stood up, uncaring of the other few students in the room. "I hate you." She swore, her voice quiet, but steady. She wouldn't be weak now—no. She needed to be unyielding and strong.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, after all.
"I hate you." She repeated, the words ringing truth that broke her heart further and strengthened her determination. "Do you hear me, Uchiha Sasuke? I hate you. With every fiber of my very being, I hate you. I hate every piece of you. Every little bit of you that makes you you. From your inability to be genuine, to your pessimism to your egocentricity to your incapability to fucking smile because you are a heartless jackass who, without a doubt in my mind, will die with no one at your side because, in all truthfulness, good looks will only get you so far before people notice that you're a dull, lackluster piece of worthless nothingness." She shook her head in wonder as her revelation came to an end. "I absolutely cannot stand you, Uchiha Sasuke."
She picked up her stuff, making her way to the exit of the room. "And, Sasuke-kun?"
She didn't wait for a response.
"You can burn in Hell for all I care."
And the door slammed shut behind her.
- x -
- x -
The love that one Haruno Sakura had felt had utterly vanished that day. It had left her angry at herself and angry at the absurd concept of love. But, most importantly, it left her furious with Uchiha Sasuke. In place of her love, her mind had instilled a hate so strong that it screeched for his blood smeared across the walls of Konoha High and a desire to wear his intestines as a necklace.
Yes, indeed. Gory.
And while some argue that no, indifference is the way to go; Sakura would look them in the eye and smile politely as she proclaims "No, good sir. I respectfully disagree!"
Because, in all honesty, feeling indifference to Uchiha Sasuke was impossible. After all, she had tried—and failed miserably.
It was an impossibility. A ludicrous notion that deserved to be laughed and ridiculed like a glittery, pink paper mache volcano at a high school science fair.
Especially to someone who was head over heels in love with the guy for three years.
Just the thought of the memory of the thought made her clench her fists and grit her teeth in fury and resentment.
'Anyhow,' she mused. 'He's a rich, spoiled, heartless asshole with no concern for anybody but himself.' She scoffed inwardly. 'Who cares if he's a walking, talking Adonis? Not me, that's what I'll tell ya!'
(She was not so deep in her hateful delusion as to deny the obvious.)
She continued on her merry way to class, a slight bounce in her step and a ghost of a smile on her mouth at the reflection on what an egomaniacal douchebag Uchiha Sasuke was.
She let out a content sigh as the 7:55 bell rang.
Today was going to be a good day.
She could feel it.
(Frankly, you'd think by now she'd know better than to trust her always erroneous instincts.)
Her summer had been far from the magnificence her mind had conjured up. No summer flings, no bad decisions, no dream job, no anything.
A horrible disappointment, indeed.
And after such an uneventful summer, she had sworn that senior year was going to be different. She would seep impulsiveness and stop overanalyzing and trying to dissect everything. She would be young and wild and free.
The question at this point is where did she go wrong?
Three weeks into senior year, with September coming to an ordinary, run of the mill end Sakura was absolutely livid with the boringness that she currently called life.
Considering her already incensed self, she walked into her first hour with an attitude that was borderline demonic.
She swung open the door and made her way to the seat at 8:00 am, the classroom still mostly vacant.
She could almost laugh at the emptiness of the classroom—the majority of the class didn't bother to show up until usually 10-15 minutes into class because the teacher hardly ever showed up until half way through class.
'It's a wonder that he still has his job,' she mused silently, unsure of what to do with herself as she waited. She settled with pulling out a book, one that she took everywhere with her—Pride and Prejudice.
'Hell yeah. Find me some Mr. Darcy and I'll be damn happy.'
She flipped open the book, fully engrossed in the masterful piece of literature when she felt it.
Or, err, him.
She couldn't concentrate on the words anymore when he walked by her and took his seat, seemingly deeply occupied by the conversation he was having on his phone.
"I'll talk to you later."
Sakura strained her ears to hear a feminine voice say something not PG13.
"Yeah, okay. Bye."
How is it that they had classes together, again? The last three weeks of dealing with having to breathe the same oxygen as him had been repulsive and she contemplated trying to hold her breath for the entire hour—he made her want to pull her hair out and scream the Heaven. For the most part, he did not need to do a thing to incur her wrath, but today she bore in mind that he had the nerve to come into a place of learning while his dirty, little skank-whore promised to do things to him later tonight that were unholy in every aspect and would make his momma cry about the loss of her innocent little boy.
Unable to restrain herself, she snapped at him. "This may surprise you, you vain, pompous fool but class started three minutes ago and you aren't exempt to the rules no matter how strongly you believe otherwise."
He barely batted an eyelash in her direction, while the few in the classroom gaped at her audacity. While it was well-known that Sakura had renounced her feelings towards him and instead had taken it upon herself to hate him with every ounce of her being—this was the first time anybody had had the privilege of seeing her hatred in action.
It was quite an honor.
"In case you failed to notice, Sakura." His voice was slightly amused, further angering Sakura. "The room is empty."
She blinked, lost in a memory for a moment—'Déjà vu.'
"All because nobody's around to see you murder something, doesn't make it okay." She ignored the lameness of her comeback and the fallacy in her logic, crossing her arms and turning around to glower at him.
"Your intelligence shall never cease to amaze me, Sakura. Your comparison is beyond brilliant. No wonder you're sixth in the class."
Sakura felt his insult right in the gut and her fists clenched together as her insides began to simmer. How dare he—Ugh. She kept a façade of lack of interest as he stared at her. "Pleased with your insult, are you dickwad? It was wonderfully second grade and I guess I was under a misassumption believing you could do better than that."
'And, see my foot? I'm ready to shove it so far up your ass that shit comes out of your mouth!'
Someone gasped and Sakura covered her mouth. Did she just—oh shit.
Sasuke actually look astounded for a moment and Sakura almost patted herself on the back. But, being the Uchiha he was, a cold mask of unresponsiveness was on his face before she could even be certain she saw him show emotion.
"I'm impressed, Sakura." He drawled. "Your retort was actually clever. You have my attention, so please confess anything you have to tell me."
His implication was clear as day and she stood up. "Get over yourself. I swear your dick is supposed to be in your pants and not synonymous with yourpersonality."
"Really, Sakura. I'm pretty sure you should get over me. It's passed the point of pitiful."
Sakura inwardly seethed, stalking towards him and slamming her hand on his desk, more infuriated when it did not faze him in the slightest. "I'm so, so, so very sorry, Sasuke! I cannot help but be desperately in love with you! I mean, you're absolute perfect!"
She paused, coming to a fictional realization. "Hm… If I do recall, however, I'm far past over you. I remember quite vividly letting you know what a conceited asshole you have a tendency to be. After all, from my understanding of your character I'm sure you're the type of man to go home and stare at your reflection for hours on end due to your narcissistic worship for yourself." She laughed. "I'm near positive it pleases your ego to know there are ignorant, innocent little high school girls devoted to the very ground you walk on, more than ready to kiss your feet." She sighed. "I didn't think I'd have to remind you that these girls will grow up, and like me, will come to the conclusion that you are nothing more than a worthless shit who will have nothing on his deathbed."
Sasuke stood up, refusing to back down from such a blatant challenge. "And if I recall, Sakura. You were one of those ignorant, innocent high school girls devoted to the ground I walk on for how long? Six months? A year? Longer, I believe. And your belief that high school will define the rest of my life is juvenile and foolish, more pathetic than the unrequited love you had for so long—"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" She didn't need to hear what a fool she'd been and she shoved at his chest with every other word.
He grabbed her wrists, holding them tightly and forcing her to look at him.
'I will not cry.' She swore to herself, refusing to look away.
It seemed like an eternity of them staring at each other, locked in a never ending deadlock when Sasuke finally made a move.
He kissed her.
A hand tangled in her hair and another pulling her closer to him, shaping her against him to near perfection.
And even though it was everything she dreamt it would be Sakura's rationale had long since beaten her heart, which was soaring high, into a submissive pulp. 'No. He hurt you. He's playing you, again. Don't let him break you again.' The conflict between her heart and logic was a struggle she couldn't understand but she did remember how he hurt her and with that justification she did the unthinkable.
She slapped him.
The slap to end all dramatic high school slaps.
The room because soundless, the class now staring at the two in complete shock—confused by both sides of the modern soap opera occurring before their very eyes.
Haruno Sakura? The girl who had followed Uchiha Sasuke like a puppy for three long years, always loyal and hopelessly shy… had she just slapped him?
A few heads exploded, spraying brain juice against the window, a terrible contrast with the bright autumn sky.
And Uchiha Sasuke? The infamous jackass that guys wanted to be and girls wanted to be under? The icy bastard that hundreds of girls chased after just as hopelessly as Sakura… he just kissed Sakura? Willingly? What.
The rest of the heads exploded.
But the stars of the show were too absorbed in each other, locked in a fierce glower off.
"You just slapped me."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious. My shirt is also blue."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Sakura drew back slightly with his choice of words—Uchiha Sasuke just cursed. The infamous keep-my-cool Uchiha just snapped.
Her blood ran cold and she forced herself to hold her head up high. "You kissed me, asshole. What exactly warranted that acceptable in your deranged mind?"
Sasuke scoffed. "Forgive me, Sakura." His sarcasm was iced with frigidness. "But I cannot help but wonder why you aren't appreciative of the sacrifice I just made, considering I am positive that no other man will ever kiss you. Besides, a thousand other girls would have given up plenty to be you at that moment."
Sakura's fingers itched to slap him again and then proceed to pick up a chair and beat him into a bloody pulp.
'And I was in love with this asshole?'
"No, Sasuke-sama! Forgive me! I am eternally grateful to the sacrifice you have made by giving me the gift of Gonorrhea! Oh, and your modesty, Sasuke-sama! It is just too much to bear!" She shuffled back a few inches, the closeness making her head dizzy. She bit her lip, before finishing immaturely. "And guess what, you egocentric dickhead? I could get 100 guys to kiss me!"
Sasuke let out a bitter laugh before closing the distance between them again, a finger under her chin forcing her to lock eyes with him. Again, her heart went frantic, but she refused to look away.
"Confident, are you, Sakura?" His voice was lethal silk, turning her insides into mush.
"Damn right, I am."
"Then, do we have a bet?"
Sakura could finally breathe normally when he pulled away and extended his hand towards her.
She fought back the urge to bare her teeth at him and she snatched his hand, sure to dig her nails into the back of his hand.
"Yes Sasuke-kun, we do."
Dun, dun, duuuh! The suspense is killing you! Anyways, this is unedited, i was just incredibly excited to get this out (I still have to read a chapter about social perception and attitudes for psych... FML) and have been putting my homework off for days while I worked on this! My point is, I never took the time to check for grammar mistakes, so if you see them, feel free to point them out! But, please. Don't be a dickhead about it :)
And here's an excerpt from a future chapter!
"You call that banter? Are you dumb? Socially-inept, perhaps? That's called harassment or, in layman's terms being a fucking dick."
This excerpt won't come for a while, but for those hating Sasuke... he's a social retard. You can't blame him, it's in his genes!
And, this rewrite, I believe. I've changed a lot—I feel like with the direction I'm going into now, this story has more actual substance but is still as fun and all over the place as before :)
Please tell me what you think! If you've reviewed this before and have been a wonderful supporter (as there are many of you) send me a PM with your opinion—I really appreciate feedback :)
and my goal is to have chapter two up by the end of February. (Thankfully, this year I have an extra day :'D)
& this has sat untouched for two years. I am damn proud of myself, if I do say so myself, for jumping back on this :D
(PS. Posting this was absolutely nerve-wracking. I'm almost positive I'm hyperventilating right now.)