That Cake is Mine by locofoco

"That's an illegal move, Nymphadora."

"Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus," Tonks muttered absently, then added, "and I thought there weren't any rules to this."

"True," he admitted, "but that in itself is a rule."

"So now we are making up rules?" she inquired, eyebrows raised.

"Precisely," he stated, "and that being said, kindly redo that side."

The game was making beds, and the winner could have the last slice of chocolate cake. Remus, being a chocolate addict, tried to cheat on occasion, and Tonks, being a woman, wouldn't let him weasel her out of chocolate by any means.

"May I ask what my illegal move was?" she said, fluffing a pillow before setting it at the head of the bed.

"You bent over to tuck in that side of the bed," he said, pointing accusingly at a corner across from her, "and gave me a view, making me stop my work and stare. That is an unfair advantage."

Her cheeks flushed, and she straightened up slightly. "Pardon me, but ever since you decided to no longer be a prat and ask me out, you've been making very suggestive remarks."

He shrugged. "I just know that no matter what, my outstanding courage will woo you into almost anything."

"Really?" she laughed in disbelief.

"Really," he waved his hand in turn like they were discussing the weather, "but I doubt it has yet worked to give me that cake."

"Bloody correct," she piped, bending down to fix a corner although it was already done. Remus shifted where he stood. "Anyway, I should have you know that that time of the month is coming, and I need chocolate – fast."

Sharing, they figured early on, was futile. Both were too greedy to divide the cake between them seeing as it was made by Molly and with chocolate. A destined duo or not, they wanted the slice to them self. Deciding that Molly needed the help, they thought up a silly contest of making beds. The idea had flaws though, seeing as they weren't exactly sure how to call a winner. Quickest bed-making skills? Neatest beds?

"Have I ever told you how well pink suits you?' Remus said, gesturing towards her chin length, fluffy pink hair. "It's irresistible."

She patted her head. "Really?"

"Uh huh," he said, sounding as if he genuinely meant it.

Tonks appeared deep in thought, and then her hair turned neon green, long, and straight. She flicked it over her shoulder, and stared up at him, happy to see he was now blinded.

"I feel so much better," she said, tugging at her hair and cooing compliments at it.

"If you think," he paused to glance at her, only to grimace and shield his eyes, "that is going to prevent me from getting that cake, you are sorely mistaken."

"What?' she said. "Sorry? I missed that. Hey, I like my hair a lot more right now. You?"

He groaned, tugging at his light brown hair sprinkled with grey. She gazed at it mockingly, her eyes betting him he wished he had something brighter. They locked eyes, both grasping their hair. Amusement flooded Tonks's gaze, and Remus fought back a smile but his eyes gave him away.

"You know," he said slowly, "I don't think Ron's bed has been made."

With agility common society had never seen before, the two raced towards the door, motivated to make Ron's bed like they had never made a bed before. They met at the door, and fought to squeeze through.

"You're out of your league, old man!" Tonks cried. "I'm a spunky twenty-something-year-old. You are prematurely grey haired professor with a chocolate addiction who likes to gaze down girls' shirts."

"Oh, no, little girl," he countered, "you have it wrong. I have seen such injustices in the world, and had little time to wallow. You just want to relieve PMS."

"What a comeback. Think of that all yourself?"

"I couldn't think of anything better. I was looking down your shirt."

She huffed, but then her eyes sparkled like diamonds. She grabbed his face, and forced his mouth down to hers. Stunned, Remus slumped against the door frame. Tonks broke away, grinning madly. She dashed down the halls; he was left at the door.

He blinked, "Hey!"

Tonks crackled, and, without second guessing herself, she banged into Ron's room. "Last one in is a – oh, Merlin! I'm so sorry!" She slammed the door shut, and ran backwards until her back hit the wall.

Remus stepped cautiously down the hall. "What was that?"

Tonks looked down at the knob dazed, processing what she had seen. "Ron wasn't alone. Hermione was there."

"Oh?" Remus said, quirking an eyebrow. Then he stiffened. "Oh... Oh!"

Silence thickened the hallway, and she took the time to change her hair back as it had been, fluffy and pink. He stared at it tenderly, glad it was back. His eyes no longer suffered.

"Well, you know what that means, right?" he said, taking a pace closer to her. Tonks gazed at him blankly, and he went on, "Last one in the kitchen gets no cake."

Her fingers twitched. "That so?'

"Yes," he said, "and no cleavage is going to take that cake away from me."

"Famous last words," she whispered.

"Says the woman who walked in on two lovebirds."

She stepped forwards, and he observed incredulously. Eyes fixed on one another, they measured each other up.

"Hate to stay and chat," she inched closer until she was sure to pass him, "but some Molly-made chocolate is calling my name."

She dashed past him, and Remus didn't miss a beat and darted after her. He called behind her that what she said was negative, and the cake was really calling out for him. She had just misinterpreted. That comment was followed quickly by a mocking laugh and a tsk. The cake was calling for her, plain and simple.

However, they skidded into the kitchen, shocked to find Arthur Weasley forking a dessert into his mouth. Chocolate cake, to be exact.

"Oh," Arthur said, stunned at their entrance, "hello."

The End


I heard that Sirius told Harry that Remus told Buckbeak that if you review, Remus will come to you with chocolate cake and a bed. :)