Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, and that's probably a good thing.
Warning: If you have not seen Day of the Black Sun 1 & 2 DO NOT read unless you don't care about spoilers.
AN: So, I was thinking about all the things I'd like to see happen in 'The Western Air Temple' and somehow...it turned into this.
The Western Air Temple: A Shipper's Parody
At the Western Air Temple, Zuko revealed himself to Aang and the gang, declaring his intentions to help. They were understandably suspicious of his motives.
"I've changed!" cried Zuko.
"Yeah, I've heard that before," Katara huffed and iced him to a tree.
"No, seriously, this time I've really changed!"
"So this time you'll kill us in our sleep instead of just betraying your uncle and joining your evil sister?" Katara had obviously not gotten over their little fight in the cave.
"Argh!" Zuko banged his head against the tree behind him and subconsciously started steaming through the ice. He had meant to stay there to prove that he really had changed—and also because ice was a lot easier to get out of than earth, and the way the Avatar was glaring at him meant he should stay in a position with a relative advantage for as long as possible—but it was cold iced to a tree, damn it!
"I have accepted my destiny. I realize now that what my father, what my nation is doing is wrong. I've come to teach the Avatar firebending so that he can defeat my father and restore balance to the world. Every time we've fought, I've never lied to any of you. That's something my sister does. I have changed, and I'm on your side."
The ice had all turned to water by now and soaked his clothing, revealing his handsome, strong physique. Katara was having a hard time concentrating on his face when his chiseled ab muscles were so much more interesting. "Prove it," she managed to say, her gaze still somewhere considerably south of his face.
Zuko growled at the challenge. It seemed like this little water tribe peasant was always challenging him! First she kept him from the Avatar, then she yelled at him while they were both imprisoned in a cave, and now she was keeping him from fulfilling his destiny once again! And he couldn't get her out of his head! And now here she was, the subject of so many of his fantasies, staring at him with obvious admiration while standing in his way. "You want me to prove it? Fine!"
He grabbed her, pulled her against his chest, and captured her petal-soft lips in a passionate kiss.
Scarcely had he begun to revel in the fact that she had wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed herself closer, when a burst of wind tore them apart.
"Hey!" Aang said. "How can you do this? He's the enemy!"
"He just wants to help!" Katara said. "He obviously wouldn't have kissed me otherwise. Why can't you trust him!"
Aang's eyes filled with tears. "But what about me? We just had a moment, Katara. How can you kiss me and then kiss him? Don't you know how much you mean to me? You're my forever girl!"
Katara's eyes filled with compassion. She placed a gentle hand on Aang's shoulder, "Aang, that kiss—it was great. Right before the battle? I'm glad you were able to go into it with no regrets. But…you're twelve. Maybe thirteen. Zuko? He's seventeen. And hot. And he's on our side now. But don't worry, after the war is over and we've won, and he's thrown me over to go marry some firenation noble, and you've grown up a bit into your own hotness, I'll definitely come along and make a mess of whatever relationship you've gotten into on the rebound so we can be together."
"Hey!" said Haru, pushing his way into the conversation, "what about me? I'm seventeen! I'm hot!"
Katara shook her head sadly, "No, Haru. You were hot. Then you grew that mustache and goatee. I don't know if I can ever take you seriously again. Not that I took you very seriously in the first place, but you could have been good for a fling."
Haru lifted a horrified hand to his lustrous locks, "My beard and goatee? But I was so proud of them! I let it grow just so I could show you how I've come into my manhood."
Zuko, having recovered from the nasty fall caused by Aang's little interruption, came up behind Katara and slipped his hands around her waist, whispering in her ear a joke about 'showing manhood.'
She snickered and leaned back against his firm body, smiling sadly at Haru. "No, Haru. I'm sorry, but you look ridiculous. I'll never be able to look at you the same way."
Haru pointed at Zuko. "You gave him a second chance! What about me? I can change too! I can shave!"
Katara looked torn for a minute, but then Zuko eased his smooth cheek down over hers while tracing a hand up her side to her chin. He tilted her face towards his and gave her a tender kiss. Katara fisted her hand in his wet shirt and moved to deepen it.
Sokka facepalmed. "Am I the only one who sees how wrong this is?"
"Nope," Toph said. "I'm blind and I can see it. Especially since he just broke up with his cranky girlfriend, who despite all the sudden, shallow creepiness of their relationship, seemed to really care about each other."
Sokka stared at her, "How do you know that?"
Toph shrugged. "I'm blind. I know these things. And if you lean down I'll tell you a secret."
Not wanting to see his sister sucking face with the banished fire prince, Haru's sobbing as he tore at his beard and goatee crying, 'Why? WHY?' or Aang's strange flickering as he tried to enter the Avatar state despite having a severed chakra, Sokka shrugged and leaned down.
Toph placed her hands on either side of Sokka's face, then firmly fisted them in his hair and brought him down the few crucial inches to connect her lips with his.
Sokka yanked himself out of her grasp so fast, he not only lost hair but fell to the ground.
Toph smirked and stamped her foot, causing earth manacles to encircle Sokka's wrists, waist, arms and legs. She began to walk over to straddle him when suddenly the earth manacles dissipated and Aang was in her face, staring at her in horror.
"Toph! What are you doing?"
"I'm making sure he knows who he belongs to before we go to rescue Suki," she stated calmly. "Move it, Twinkletoes."
"But Toph—I mean—I always thought that if Katara and I didn't work out, you and I—"
"You and I what, Aang? You're twelve. Sokka's sixteen. Maybe seventeen. And you know the girls go for the hot older guys. Now, where did he go…"
Sokka, meanwhile, had made his way to Appa and had yip-yipped somewhere far, far away. Maybe, if he was lucky, Azula was still looking for them and he would find a quick end to this madness.
At the other side of the fire nation, Azula smiled an evil, anticipatory smile.
AN: I love these guys. I really do. And that is why I torture them. Seriously, I am torn with who I want Katara to end up with, I think either way I'll be sad for the other. And oh, Haru, how could you have sacrificed your cuteness so? It's the one thing you had going for you.
I hope you enjoyed this parody! Taking certain wishes to an extreme was a lot of fun for me to write. I look forward to hearing what you think!