This is a Mighty Boosh fic crossed over with The IT Crowd
I've only included Richmond from the IT Crowd, if you haven't got a clue who he is...He's a character played by Noel Fielding. Basically go to youtube and search 'The IT crowd'. I recommend the video called 'IT Crowd - Richmond Outtakes' D
The Red Door
Vince drifted into the shop, late as usual, and hung up his sparkly jacket on the hanger by the door.
"Why are you late this time?" Howard muttered as he scribbled down some notes in a book.
"You wouldn't believe it, I woke up this morning and went to turn my straightners on but they were gone right. So I went on a mad search through the house but I couldn't find them. I ventured out onto the street and a kind rat guided me to my straightners. Turns out they were hitch hikin' a lift out of town. I caught them just in time and persuaded them to come home. Then of course, I had to straighten my barnet." There was a few seconds of silence before Howard replied.
"Right…Okay then." He sighed heavily to himself and got on with his work while Vince made himself comfortable in the chair by the window.
"Howard…" No reply "Howard?" Still his friend ignored him "Howard…Howard…Howard…Howard…" He repeated until finally his friend looked up.
"This better be good."
"What's behind that red door?" Vince pointed to an old looking door with a crystal door handle.
"Don't go in there."
"Because I said so, that's why."
"But I'm all curious now. And curiosity is gonna get the better of me…And the moment you turn your back or wander off out of view…I'm gonna be over there like lightning and I'm gonna open that door and find out what's in there."
"No you're not."
"Why? How are you gonna stop me?"
"Because I said so."
"Whatever." Vince smirked.
The next day Howard left Vince alone in the shop while he went for a jazz-ercise class, obviously he had forgotten about Vince's obsession with the red door.
"Look after the shop and don't do anything stupid." Howard warned pointing an accusing finger at his mod friend.
"Don't worry, I'll be good." He sighed putting his feet up on the counter continuing to read a fashion magazine. The minute Howard was out of sight, he jumped up and crept to the red door constantly checking behind him in case Howard or Naboo appeared.
Vince wrapped a hand round the crystal door handle and turned it pushing it open slowly, at first there was darkness and as his eyes adjusted he looked into the eyes of another man and let out a yelp of surprise.
"Who the hell are you?" He demanded pushing the door open further, the man was wearing dark clothes, dark make up and had raven black hair.
"Richmond." He replied in a strange and dreamy voice.
"What you doin in there?"
"Not much." Richmond confessed shrugging his shoulders "I never do much in here. The tiny man put me in here."
"I don't know his name." Vince starred at Richmond for a while, assessing his features and his clothes "What?" He said feeling uncomfortable.
"You look exactly like me…Don't you know I had my face copyrighted? You can't do that!"
"I haven't done anything." He replied innocently.
"Well…Your skin is much paler than mine…And I don't wear that much eyeliner. Plus my clothes are too bright and cheerful compared to yours."
"I am cheerful." Richmond replied without cracking a smile, Vince raised an eyebrow and nodded uncertainly.
"So come on, what you doin in there? What happened?" Richmond turned and held his hands up starring at nothing causing Vince to move next to him to see what was so interesting "There's nothing there?"
"It is a long story." Richmond began.
"Oh, don't worry about it then."
"Ah what a fantastic class, you know the best thing about…What is Richmond doing out of his room?" Howard demanded as he returned to the shop to see Vince and the strange goth sat at the counter having a cup of tea.
"Alright Howard." Vince grinned "Told ya I'd have a peek behind that door."
"Yes. And I told you not too!"
"Why are you so harsh on him?"
"Because he brings misery to everyone."
"No he doesn't."
"Yes he does!"
"I don't feel miserable."
"That's because you're made of sunshine Vince. Nothing seems to get you down." Vince nodded grinning taking a gulp of tea from his mug "Naboo won't be very happy about this."
"About him being out of his room!"
"Oh leave it Howard, he's not doin' any harm." Vince protested as Richmond picked up a pen, examined it and tossed it across the shop floor.
"Oh I don't mind really, I quite like the attention."
"Hey Howard, have you ever noticed that Richmond looks exactly like me? But with a more goth look to him." Vince stated looking smug.
"Yes, yes I have noticed. That's why he stays in there because one Vince is bad enough!" Howard complained as Naboo entered the shop with Bollo shortly following him.
"What's Richmond doing out of his room?" The tiny shaman demanded pointing a small finger at the goth.
"Havin' a cup of tea." Vince held up his mug and took another gulp as Naboo pulled a torch from behind his back and shone it in Richmond's face making him jump.
"Oh no!" He cried as he ran back to his room.
"What did you do that for?" The Mod replied standing up straight, his mirror ball suit twinkling in the torchlight.
"Goth's hate light…I had to get him back into his room. He brings misery Vince, where as you bring happiness and colour to the shop."
"He didn't bring misery to me!"
"That's because you're made of sunshine."
"Yeah, I hear that quite a lot." Vince grinned as he went back to reading his magazine with his feet up on the counter.