Chapter 21 : Escaping and...Epilogue ?!
Yes ! It's finally the last chapter !
As the excouple were steering themselves in the shopping cart, Delia was getting frustrated.
" Crap. Another dead-end hallway ! " Delia muttered.
" Smoke's getting thicker. "
" SHUT UP ! "
Giovanni shrugged. " Well, it's true. I'm glad I didn't bring Persian into this mess. "
-.- " Just shut up. Please. "
" Fine, " Giovanni said, scowling.
Delia scratched her head. " Okay. Which direction do we turn the cart now ? "
" Left. "
" That's blocked. "
" Fine, then ! Right ! "
" Right it is ! "
Delia swiftly turned the shopping cart into the right direction. It seemed to take them somewhere until...
The exit was blocked.
" Oh, great. I'm going to die with the douchebag, " Delia muttered, groaning.
" Thanks a lot, " Giovanni said. " I like to think I'm not a douche. "
" Yeah, you're a superdouche. But that isn't the point. "
" Hmph. Well, Martha Stewart, we have to find a way to get out of here. "
" Nawww. You must be smart to figure that out, Mr. Obvious. "
" Yes. Yes, I am. "
" De - ense. "
" Well, maybe if you didn't get kidnapped by that sponge thing, we wouldn't be in this predicament. "
" I can't believe you ! " Delia hissed. " You stupid son of a bitch bastard ! Why I ought to throw you out of here and just run you over ! "
" Fine ! I can get out of here myself ! "
He crawled out of the shopping cart and crossed his arms. Delia rolled her eyes and ignoring him, steered into the opposite direction.
Giovanni sweatdropped. " Uh...I think I was being sarcastic ! HELP ME ! I don't wanna die alone ! "
Meanwhile, Ash, Gary, Tracey, and Paul were dancing around a bonfire. Misty, Carid, Domino, and Dawn were all sweatdropping.
Finally, Domino broke the silence. " Uh, Ash ? You do know your parents aren't out of that crapshack yet, right ? "
" Duh. "
" DON'T YOU CARE ?! " Misty screeched.
" Eh. They had a good life. "
Everyone except Ash facefaulted. Gary scratched his head. " Uh, Ash. You really are stupid. "
" I know. "
" Hey, I don't have parents, either ! " Paul said. " Ketchum can become emo, just like me ! "
Dawn glared at Paul. " Don't ridicule Ash. It's not his fault he's a retard. "
" Yes, it is, " Carid said.
" She's right, Dawn, " Tracey added.
" Well, maybe they're right. The point is none of us want Ash emo (except maybe Misty). "
" HEY ! "
" I'm kidding, " Dawn quickly said, blushing. " I know you prefer Goths over emos. "
-.- " Don't get me pissed off, Pearlson. I'm not in the mood. "
Dawn sweatdropped. " Fine. I'll shut up. "
" Can we go for burritoes ? " Ash asked. " I'm starving. Hey, I'll take some popcorn with chili powder if anybody has some ! "
" You have a sick stomach there, " Gary moaned.
" This is why I don't ever eat lunch, " Domino stated with a repulsed look on her face.
Delia scanned the area. " Damn it. These Galactics must be stupid not to have a fire exit. "
She steered the cart to another door and opened it. It showed the alley. She sweatdropped. " Wow. After two hours and a whole lot of smoke inhalation, I finally got it ! Hehe...Giovanni will probably steam when he found out I found the exit first...speaking of which, I haven't seen the douche at all (cough-cough). Where the hell is he ? "
The woman stepped outside to breathe some fresh air and looked around the alley. Nobody was there. She sighed. " Gotdamn it, he owes me big time. "
Meanwhile, Giovanni was slowly losing his insanity due to major intakes of carbon monoxide. He was laughing as he chugged some vodka.
Beside him was Heatran, party female legendary of Sinnoh. She cackled. " Hehehe...we're all gonna die - ie ! "
" Yep ! We need some food in this place ! " Giovanni shouted. " Where did Cyrus keep his flippin' pantry at ?! "
" Dude...dude - it's right next to that leprechaun ! "
Giovanni ran into a file cabinet where the alleged leprechaun stood and knocked himself out. Heatran sweatdropped as she puffed at her weed. " Woot ! I am the thing ! I can do all I waaaan- "
" HEY ! WHAT THE FLIP ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DOUCHEBAG ?! "
Delia stood outside of the door with a fire extinguisher in her hand. Heatran laughed at the woman. " I'm high ! And...and this guy is dead. "
" Hmph. I wish, " Delia scoffed. " Now get off of him, you flippin' hobag legendary, or I will hurt you with this. "
O.o " Fine. I'm gonna try and get Suicune pissed off. Bye, bitch ! "
Delia rolled her eyes as she extinguished Giovanni with the device. " Hmph. Some guy you are. "
The eight kids were bored to death. Ash was eating burritoes. Gary and Paul were poking each other. Tracey was drawing Misty's che-...I mean, Misty. Domino was trying to put makeup on Carid (and was unsuccessful at it.) Misty was staring into outer space.
And Dawn saw Ash's mom dragging Giovanni out of the alley.
" Look, Ash ! " she cried. " Your mom and the douche managed to stay alive ! "
Ash groaned. " This sucks. Now I won't get the insurance money.
He crawled into the fetal position as the others crowded around Delia. She grinned. " Okay. Mr. Douche is unconscious, so feel free to get him up in any way you want ! "
" Me first ! Me first ! " Ash screamed, releasing a Pikachu.
Gary sweatdropped. " Ketchum...is that a Pikachu ? "
" Yeah ! He's my old Pikachu's clone ! "
O.o " Yeah... "
Ash grinned. " Pikachu, use thunderbolt ! "
" I'm next, " Gary said. " Arcanine, use flamethrower ! "
" Marill ! " Tracey shouted. " Use bubblebeam ! "
Paul smirked. " Electathingie, use whatever you want ! "
The Electabuzz grinned as it smashed a chair on Giovanni's head. Carid slapped her forehead. " Isn't that playing dirty ? "
" Hell yeah ! "
" Well, if you put it that way... "
Carid, Misty, Dawn, and Domino cracked their knuckles as they got out a mace, a mallet, a giant sock, an explosive tulip, four purses, eight shoes, twenty pokemon, and a helluva load of baseball bats.
MACE ! MALLET ! SOCK BEAT ! TULIPY ! BAG ! BAG ! BAG ! BAG ! SHOE ! PK'D ! BAT ! BAT ! BAT ! BAT ! BAT ! BAT!
...CROTCH KIIIIIIIIICK !
Giovanni jumped out of his sleep. " Ow. What the hell ?! "
" Nothing... " the four girls trailed off.
" Damn it, why did you guys have to be my torturers ?! I rather listen to Clay Aiken than have teenagers hurt me ! " Giovanni whined.
" Uh, you're not dead, " Delia muttered.
" Really ? Yes ! I knew I would find my way ! "
" No, Mom dragged you out like a sack of flour, " Ash replied.
" Awww. Are you sure I didn't fly out of the building ? "
" You're the leader of Team Rocket, not Superman. "
" SHUT UP, RED ! "
Ash snickered. " Hehehe...Superdouche ! "
Giovanni sweatdropped and turned to the other kids. " If you kill me now, I'll give you each twenty dollars, " he loudly whispered.
" Red... "
" Oh, come on, Delia ! We all know our kid's psycho ! "
" No, I have A.D.D., " Ash said.
T.T " See what I mean ?! "
Delia sighed. " Yeah. But what's gonna happen to Team Galactic ? "
Suddenly, Commander Mars came to the group, carried by Commander Saturn. " Oh, don't worry ! " Mars said, giggling. " Me and Saturn are gonna open up a Taco Bell ! Plus, he promised me a Nintendo 64 as our engagement ! "
Ash grinned. " Yes ! "
" Okay..." Domino trailed off. " But what about that bitch Jupiter that I went to high school with ?! "
" Uh...she buried herself with Cyrus. No need to worry ! Team Galactic is turning into Taco Beeeeell ! " Mars screeched.
" Free burritoes are the way to gooooo ! " Saturn added.
Dawn huffed and pointed a finger at Mars. " Don't ever use my catch phrase again ! "
" No need to worry, " Paul said, snickering. " Dawn's on her perio- "
Paul blasted off somewhere into a ditch in Pastoria City. Mars giggled insanely. " Yay ! Dawn an' me are buddies ! We both beat up our boyfriends ! "
" Since when is Bluehair and you friends ?! " Carid demanded.
" Oh, DeeDee doesn't like talking about it, but back in the day when her, Kenny, and Leona were bestest buddies, I was her math tutor. I'm actually sixteen ! "
Dawn groaned. " Uh, I'm gonna go now. I hate talking about this. "
" So...Mars is telling the truth ?! " Gary inquired.
" Yeah. I suck at math. "
" Yep ! She got Fs in math until the fourth grade ! " Mars replied. " And if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have met Saturn ! "
" Yep ! I was Kenny's science, math, and history tutor ! " Saturn said.
" I can't think of you as a tutor, " Delia commented.
" I can't think of Saturn being smart, " Tracey said.
" Hehehehe...Kenny was retarded ! " Ash exclaimed. " Kenny was retarded ! Kenny was retarded ! "
Dawn blushed. " Yes, Kenny is retarded. That's why I'm trying to pair him up with Leona - because she may be a ditz, but she's smarter than him. "
" That's sad, " Giovanni said.
" Don't worry, Mr. Ketchum ! " Misty replied. " We all know you're stupider than the mom, too ! "
" Ugh. Thanks a lot. "
" No problem ! "
Mars giggled. " Yay ! All women are smart (except Dawn) ! "
" That's it. I'm going, " Dawn muttered, walking out of the alley.
Saturn clapped his hands. " Yay ! Let's get wasted ! "
" Okay ! " Ash said.
" No, you're not, " Delia growled.
" Okay ! Make sure to come to Taco Bell soooooon ! " Mars cooed.
" Riiiiight...let's go. "
Two weeks later, things were somewhat normal. Team Rocket still wasn't rebuilt. Tracey and Domino were still dating each other (very surprisingly). Giovanni was still staying with Ash outside in the tent.
The Ketchum residence was filled with residents now. Ash and Mimey were sharing the bunk beds. Domino was staying there with Misty and Carid.
Yep, things were pretty normal for the Ketchums . Giovanni was watching everyone while Delia went to the grocery store.
" Ash ?! Where did you place my underwear at ?! " Giovanni demanded.
" Uh, I had to use them 'cause I soiled mine. Do you want it back ? "
O.o " Keep it. Just keep it. "
Ash walked out of the living room. Giovanni groaned. " I hate doing math. Maybe I should've let Mars tutor me. "
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. The man sweatdropped. " Please don't let it be any more of Ash's friends, " he prayed, shuddering. " Or any form of seafood. "
He opened a door to a little girl of seven. She had curls of blonde hair and sparkling eyes. She was wearing a blue and white dress, and was holding a suitcase. " Hi ! "
Giovanni sweatdropped. " Hey, aren't you Hale's kid ? "
" Yep ! I have to stay here 'cause my daddy had problems. "
" Ohhhh, no. We already have four kids staying here. But...you don't wet the bed, do you ? "
" Nope. I may be seven, but I have much better hygiene than Ash could ever hope for ! " Molly replied.
" Uh...I don't know. What happened to Spencer again ? "
Molly sweatdropped. " Well, it all started when Daddy bitchslapped Mommy. They were fighting because he accused her of cheating with Schyler. Daddy was drunk and he pushed Mommy off the stairs. Sadly, she died. Daddy didn't get in trouble, though, 'cause he buried her in a pothole. So, a couple of weeks later Daddy got in trouble for shooting some Eevee. And...they executed him. So, since this is the only place I can live without the news pressuring me, I decided to come here with Teddiursa ! "
" Whoa. I knew Spencer had mental problems, but...yeah... "
Giovanni scratched his head and turned away from the door. " Hey, Ash ! You're having a roommate ! "
Molly squealed. " Yay ! Thank you, Mr. Mailman ! "
-.- " I'm Ash's dad. "
Ash raced down the stairs and paled. " Anybody but her ! She tried to kill me ! She's flippin' psycho ! "
" Uh, so are you. And I may not totally want her here, but we all know your mother's gonna make a fuss. Besides, I like her. She seems more intelligent than you. "
Ash groaned. " Fine. "
Molly giggled. " Yay ! Is Misty and Carid here ? "
" Yep, " Ash replied. " Plus this girl named Domino. "
" Cool ! Can we burn the mailboxes ?! "
" No problem. Let's go. "
Ash led Molly outside of the house where they quickly started to light mailboxes on fire. Giovanni sweatdropped. " Why do I feel that I made a horrible, horrible mistake ? "
An Entei shoved him into the wall. " ' Cause she's evil. "
" Greaaaaat. "
Giovanni went to the kitchen to slowly bang his head with his notebook.
The End ?
And that ends the installment of Giovanni's New Neighbor ! Tell me if you want a sequel (especially since I'm thinking about ideas!)
Okay, see you soon, everyone ! I'm going on hiatus starting Wednesday !