Five years ago, Meredith Grey left Seattle without a clear understanding of where and why she was leaving. She looked back at the hospital as doubt and pain washed over her then she turned her back on her old life. What she was leaving behind haunted her for years, and the wounds never had the time to heal. She went through life with knowing that love and happiness had once been in her reach and she decided to run away from it all. Regret killed her filling her dreams with the painful memories of that day, the day her mother died and she saw the love of her life in the arms of another woman. But even all that pain hardly equated to the amount of pain she saw cross Alex's eyes as she told him of their children. Yet as she sat there and tears rolled off her cheeks, she couldn't stop imagine being back in his arms once again.
"Their names are Madison Lynn and Alexander Owen Kerev. They are four years old. And, um…"
"I can't do this right now." He said in a low voice without looking at her. "I need to… process things."
She was a little caught off guard, but what was she supposed to expect. This was a huge bomb to drop all at once. Nodding, she stood as her fingers fidgeted around with her bag. He didn't move from where he sat, so she silently made her way to the door, grabbed her jacket, and walked out. He cringed at the sound of the closing door. So many thoughts ran through his head as he angrily kicked the coffee table over.
After she left his house, she drove for an hour with nowhere to go. She didn't want to go back to the hospital with fresh tear stains down her cheeks. She didn't want her children to see her like that. Instead, she pulled up in front of a familiar dock and got out. She paid for a ticket and boarded the large ferry without a word to anyone who stood nearby. It wasn't long that the gate was closed and the boat began to move. The wind blew through her hair as she leaned against the railing. Fresh tears made their way down her cheek, but she didn't move to wipe them away. She didn't know what would happen in the near future, and it scared her to think about it. Where would she go if he rejected them? There was no way she could stay in Seattle knowing that he wanted nothing to do with them, but there was nowhere else to go. So many thoughts cluttered her head overwhelming her.
Richard stood when Meredith entered. She gave him a sad, unconvincing smile.
"Hey." She whispered taking her jacket off before walking over and planting a kiss on both Owen's and Madi's cheek, who slept in Madi's hospital bed.
"Where'd you go?"
She sighed. "Alex's."
"Oh… How'd that go?"
"I don't want to talk about it tonight, Dad. I just want everything to be okay. I want to go back five years and not get on that plane."
Richard engulfed her in a comforting hug and sighed. "I know, Mer. Things will come around."
Sleep didn't come to her that night. She didn't expect it to. She just sat there, staring at her beautiful children's faces as they slept. Around eight the next morning, they awoke.
"Mommy, I'm hungry." Madi said.
"I'll be right back." She went to the nurses' station and told them she was taking Madi down to the cafeteria for breakfast. A nurse came into the room and helped her get into a wheelchair with her IV still in place. Owen helped Meredith push the best he could with his small size, but he was determined. When they got down to the cafeteria, she got them some pancakes, chocolate milk, and a coffee for herself then found a table in the inside cafeteria. The kids quickly began shoveling pieces of pancakes into their syrup covered mouths as she sipped her coffee. She couldn't help but smile as they spoke of SpongeBob. Her eyes caught glimpse of him before he saw her as he, Christina, and Izzie walked in. Their eyes met just as Christina led the group towards the coffee cart. His eyes were full of hurt, but he didn't try to break them away from hers until he noticed the kids. She watched as concern washed over him as his eyes moved to Madi and Owen. She sighed heavily when Izzie pulled him out of sight.
"Mommy, do you like SpongeBob?" Owen said excitedly.
"I love SpongeBob!" She said with forced excitement.
"Yay!" They both cheered happily. She smiled at them before glancing in the direction he disappeared.