Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, settings or plotlines within the Twilight series.

The girl obnoxiously fluttered her eyelids at me. I nearly threw up all over her. Why do women do this to me? I was incredibly irritated today for many reasons and was only more frustrated by this tittering twerp in front of me.

"Jessica, can you please tell me why I don't have the Leyman file in front of me right now?" I asked, through clenched teeth.

I knew perfectly well why I didn't have the Leyman file in front of me. Because my secretary and personal assistant was an incompetent bimbo. Jessica apologised and attempted flirtatiously flash her cleavage at me while bending down, while I averted my eyes and went to close the shutters. The phone rang, just as Jessica strutted (more so than usual) out the door.

"Ed, where are you? We have a deposition meeting with that hag who is suing us for negligence. You know, the one that slipped on that Orange Juice in California and broke her leg?" My brother Emmett drawled unexitedly down the phone.

His tone brightened considerably as he added, "By the way, how did you do with that broad, what was it… Sandra? The other night? She had good legs on her. And not to mention h" I cut him off venomously.

"Fine, thank you Emmett. I'll be at the Conference room in five, we'll see if we can settle."

I hung up on him immediately.

As I grabbed a clean white shirt from the closet in the corner of my office and pulled my current one roughly over my head, I turned to grab some water to see all the secretaries in the building staring at me through the glass with wide eyes. I closed the shutters slowly, glaring at them all.

As I walked out of my office in a clean shirt, Jessica handing me my briefcase (I trained her well) and wished me good luck to reach a settlement.

I thanked her icily after noticing she had lowered her shirt by a button.

As I reached the conference, I found Emmett demonstrating to Jasper with a baseball bat how you would break a man's legs. As I entered, he quickly changed it to appear he was demonstrating his swing.

"Where's the client?" I asked impatiently.

Emmett looked unperturbed at my impatience. "They are minutes late. Stuck in traffic."

"Where's her lawyer from?" I enquired.

"Some one woman firm from a place called Forks. Apparently, an old school friend."

"Well, shouldn't be too easy. What figure should we go to? To settle, I mean?'

"Hmmm, I'd say 20 k should do it. But that isn't the only figure I was considering." Emmett winked at Jasper, who grinned goofily back.

"Guys, stop it. The client's probably ugly as all hell. And I checked the file; she's 53."

I didn't want to have to go to court over this one, and I needed the boys on the task at hand.

"I guess you are right, as always," Emmett replied unenthusiastically. "And everyone knows lawyers are nothing to look at."

Just then, the conference room door opened.