He paces back and forth in his office. He doesn't know what to do.
There is no case; nothing to solve but the questions that will forever remain deeply encased in her heart. There are no clues; there are no tests for this. He knows that this is one mystery that he will never be able to solve. It will haunt him for the rest of his miserable life.
The darkness goes on forever. Chase's screams reverberate in his head. Foreman's shocked face and swift inhalation. Cuddy's red eyes, tear-stained cheeks, and cracking voice as she struggled to tell them what had happened. Wilson, immediately brought to tears, as he wrapped his arms gently around Cuddy and let her collapse, sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. There was only the underlying tension of the unspoken question: why? Nobody had any answers.
He didn't react. He walked away; he doubted anyone even noticed. He took the stairs, willingly, for the first time in years. His leg throbbed, but he was completely numb. He realized he had nowhere to go, and so for the rest of the day, he paced. Each turn towards the window allowing him to watch as morning turned into evening, and evening into pitch-black night.
He didn't know how she had done it. And he did not want to know. He did not want to envision the multiplicity of ways that her beautiful body could have been torn apart. Never in his life had he come across some fact, some information, some knowledge, that he did not want to know. But here it was. Here he was.
He realized that he couldn't remember the last time that he had seen her, and it was getting hard for him to recall her face. How could this be?
He abruptly stops pacing. In one fluid motion, he throws his cane as hard as he can at the glass door to his office. The sound of the glass shattering echoes through the dark and empty hallway.
Midnight. Twelve hours have passed. After hearing the last shard of glass make its pitiful sound, he collapses into his chair. His elbows on the desk, he rubs his face with his hands before allowing himself a stillness that his body desperately needs. And so he remains, head in his hands, motionless amidst the eerie silence.