Disclaimer: Don't own

Well it's my second fanfiction and it was a tie, so I decided to do the story that I wanted to do. I should warn you Isshin his really dark and overcome with grief from Masaki's death. This is AU (Alternative universe for you who don't know), It's dark in this chapter but I needed to do this chapter to set the stage for future chapters. THIS STORY WILL GET LIGHTER IN FUTURE CHAPTERS!!!! I want to try my hand at writing more drama so bear with me...This chapter is really short and mostly goes into Ichigo's past and why he wants to kill himself, so please dont be too harsh. Also I won't be answering reviews at the beginning of each chapter in this story and I'll just personal message all who review. Sorry if that's an a problem for anybody and thanks to all who voted!!!! Hope you like it!

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The street light glared ominously in the alleys of the run down town. The town was a rough town, where even the police were scared to come to. Murders were a daily inconvenience to the people and nearly everyone carried a knife or gun….or both if they were smart. In the alley you could see a young teenager slowly walking along the walls, gripping at the rough surface and trying desperately not to fall. As horrible as the town seemed the life of the young wanderer was by far worse.

Ichigo Kurosaki was the teenager's name. The boy was scrawny and didn't hardly have any fat on him, instead his body seemed to be made of muscle from the endless fights the teenager had experienced. The boy had sickly pale skin and dark rings under his eyes from an obvious lack of sleep. The teenager had inherited his mother's hair color of a bright unruly orange. The teenager also had a feminine figure about him. What possible reason could this kid be doing in a town like this?

Ichigo walked down the alley. He had already went dumpster diving for some food earlier that day. Thankfully he had found a half eaten sandwich that was still good. Though the flash backs and thoughts that Ichigo were experiencing were never ending.

"You killed your mother…"

"How could you do such a thing to my sister, Ichigo?"

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The teenager gripped his head as the painful memories came flooding back. Ichigo remembered having an argument with his parents. He was nine at the time and the argument was on Christmas night. The family had just opened their presents and Ichigo had gotten a new bike. The nine year old version of Ichigo wanted to ride his bike in the snow and his parents wouldn't let him. They said it was to late and cold and he could catch a cold. Though the orange haired kid was smart, Ichigo agreed but then waited until his parents had gone to bed and snuck the bike out side.

The ride was only supposed to last for a couple of minutes, but Ichigo got caught up in the excitement of his new present. Ichigo hadn't meant to ride into town and get lost but that's what happened. Little did the kid know was that his mother had woken up in the night and decided to check on her children. Masaki was in hysterics by the fact that her son was missing. Isshin and his wife had decided to get the car and go search around the town for their son. Since it was obvious what Ichigo did from the missing bike.

The couple called "Uncle Aizen" to watch Karin and Yuzu while they went in search for Ichigo. The orange haired nine year old was beginning to regret taking out his bike now. It was cold and his hands were numb. The child was tired so he got off of his bike and fell asleep on the sidewalk. Thankfully or not….the parents had spotted their son's orange hair throughout all the snow and were parking the car. The parents didn't notice the oil slick that had frozen over and was hidden under the snow. The wife stepped out of the car ecstatic to have found her missing son. Masaki began to run to her passed out son and slipped on the frozen over oil slick.

The lady seemed to fall in slow motion, Masaki hit her head harshly on the sharp edge of the newspaper stand that was right next to the sidewalk. Isshin watched in horror as his wife layed their in her own blood. Isshin reacted quickly, pulling his wife into the car and picking up Ichigo who was wouldn't wake up from the cold. Isshin quickly rushed the two to the hospital.

Ichigo as it turned out was experiencing hypothermia and the nurses frantically brought hot packs and blankets to his bed. Masaki had a severe gash in the side of her head from the fall. The surgeons were called to take care of the gash, but it was late and the surgeons weren't fully awake. This reflected in their work, the surgeons accidentally messed up the nerves, which in turn messed up the brain's ability to function. The surgeon's worked tirelessly to fix their mistakes but with them being so rushed they began to make more mistakes. The doctors thought that Masaki was going to live and began to sew her up, unconscious of the internal bleeding the woman was experiencing. Masaki died three hours later in the hospital bed.

When Ichigo woke up it was pure hell. Isshin couldn't deal with the death of his wife and was so overcome with grief that the man was looking for anyone to blame Then a though popped into Isshin's head. It was Ichigo's fault. If Ichigo hadn't decided to break the rules than Isshin's wife would still be in the world of the living. All of these emotions Isshin took out on Ichigo, as if the boy wasn't feeling enough guilt.

"You Killed your mother." Was the first thing Ichigo heard when he woke up.

From then on it truly was hell. Ichigo was no longer allowed to sleep in his bed and now had to sleep in the closet without a blanket. The orange haired kid was also now was subjected to daily beatings from his father, but Ichigo never cried out in these beating sessions. Ichigo had already been told and he understood it was his fault why his mother died. In the kid's mind he deserved every beating he got. Isshin was always very emotional when he beat his son. He would cry and he would scream and Ichigo would nod in agreement. Though Isshin never did get any satisfaction from doing this, instead the father would often feel worse about himself. Then Isshin would wonder why punishing his wife's murderer didn't feel satisfying.

The worst beating were when Aizen would join in. Aizen was Masaki's younger brother and had loved his sister almost as much as Isshin, though he had never liked Ichigo. Where Isshin was emotional, Aizen would be deathly calm and the worst part was he would always bring Masaki into the punishment. Or maybe it was how Aizen always would say Ichigo's name at the end of every sentence.

"You know my sister hates you for doing this to her, Ichigo." Aizen would state while he whipped Ichigo to the side of the face with the metal part of the belt.

"Why would you try to hurt my sister? Ichigo." Aizen would continue as he whipped the boy. Ichigo let out a small whimper at the though of his mother condemning him to hell. That was the thing….Ichigo could take any abuse if it was physical, but when it came to psychological abuse Ichigo was overly emotional and it was obvious what the boy felt even when he tried to hide it. Aizen knew how to make Ichigo scream and cry, in fact he could probably get these reactions without the belt, but then again Aizen liked to see Ichigo suffer for what he did to Masaki.

Ichigo's sister's never knew what took place when they went to school. They always though Ichigo stayed up in his room so much because he had to do homework. In fact that was the main reason why Ichigo stayed and didn't run away. He wondered if Isshin would start attacking his sisters if he wasn't there for his father to beat. Ichigo respected his sisters because they always were nice to him, unlike anyone else. No one knew what was going on either. Isshin had taken Ichigo out of school to Home school him. Though Ichigo could honestly say that he never had even opened a book during this time. His schedule pretty much went wake up, do chores, get his daily beating, stay in his room until after dinner then dig the leftovers out of the trash.

Sometimes Isshin would get a stroke of guilt and let Ichigo eat with the family and the father never beat his son on Ichigo's birthday. Though in that environment Ichigo began to hear voices and see another person who looked just like him. Ichigo would talk to his look a like, no matter how mean the look a like was to him. Ichigo had once asked what his twin's name was and he told Ichigo that his name was Hichigo. It was probably only for Hichigo that Ichigo didn't have a complete mental breakdown. Hichigo was crude, rude, and aggressive. One might call the Ichigo look a like Ichigo's opposite . Ichigo was submissive , polite, and nearly jumped at any sound. Hichigo always tried to encourage Ichigo to run away.

Ichigo lived like this for three years before it happened. It was one of the daily beatings that Ichigo was used to having. His father was standing over him with a knife and making small superficial cuts down Ichigo's arm. The cuts weren't enough to do any real damage, but were only to inflict pain. Isshin then ran the knife down to Ichigo's wrists and cut into them, but once again just enough to draw blood and not truly kill the boy.

"You don't deserve death." That was the sentence that made Ichigo snap. Hichigo was watching from the corner of the room and couldn't stand the abuse that his vessel had to endure any longer. The "demon" had then noticed with that sentence that Ichigo's barrier that separated their minds weakened. So Hichigo took advantage of the situation and stole Ichigo's consciousness. Hichigo let out an insane laugh. At first Isshin was shocked, though that didn't last long for Hichigo grabbed the knife out of Isshin's hand and stabbed the father in the shoulder.

Then the demon ran out of the house. The next two days Hichigo had control of Ichigo's body. Hichigo stole wallets from innocent people off the street to afford a bus ticket out of that state. Though Hichigo didn't know anything about geography so the demon was basically flying blind. The Ichigo look a like rode as long as he could until he was out of money. When Ichigo got his consciousness back he was three states away from his home and apparently in a less than nice neighborhood.

Ichigo quickly started talking to his look a like to find out what had happened and Hichigo told him. Ichigo was about to walk home from there and Hichigo said that if Ichigo did that he'd take over his consciousness again. So in a last ditch attempt to get his demon under control Ichigo made a deal. He would stay away from home and let Hichigo take over when he was in danger. Lord only knows how many times that deal saved his life. The town was in the middle of a gang battle and guns and death was the norm. In fact if it wasn't for Hichigo, Ichigo would have probably been killed and raped a thousand times over.

Ichigo lived on the streets for four years. He had eaten out of dumpsters, begged for money, starved, and Ichigo hardly ever slept in fear of being attacked by a gang. So there he was Ichigo Kurosaki, sitting in the back of a bar to the side of a dumpster. He was tired. God, he was so tired of living. He knew he deserved this never ending pain….but he wanted it to end. And if that made him a coward then so be it. What would his life had been like if he had chose to listen to his parents. Hichigo was quiet for the time being which Ichigo was thankful for. He could never do this if Hichigo was paying attention to him…The orange haired teenager picked up a shard of glass from the ground. Ichigo grimaced as he cut a deep gash upwards into his wrists and then switched hands and did the other one the same way. Ichigo let out a content smile as he put his hands down on the ground and watched the blood flow out of his wound.

"You don't deserve death." Isshin's voice said through time and reached Ichigo. The teenager let out a humorless smirk. His dad was right, he didn't deserve death but he was going to get it…………

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Umm...yeah...Don't kill me! I had to make Isshin mean for the story's sake! I might have them repair their relationship in the end and yes Aizen is going to get his in the later chapters. The reason I had Masaki die in the hospital..did you know I read a statistic that said fifty percent of people who die in hospitals are accidents? Kinda makes you think. Anyway please tell me what you think and yes Grimmjaw is going to come into the next chapter. So thanks and have a good night!