Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.

(A.N: Haha, just thought I'd say that some parts of this, as is often the case in my AzuDai fics, actually happened. Hehehe my friends are nuts…)

Identity Crisis
By Silver Sailor Ganymede

Kagura was hatching a plan. She was hatching a plan to kill whatever moron had decided that it would be a good idea to make them do their exams right before the winter holidays, but she couldn't think of anything painful enough to be fitting.

Tomo seemed to have the same idea; it was as though the Numbnuts, like the Borg, had a collective conscious. Not that Tomo was studying anyway; she had been drawing in her notebook for the last hour, and even Yomi had given up on trying to make her do anything resembling work.

Osaka was dozing on the kotatsu as usual, and Chiyo had gone to make eveyone some tea. While they waited, Sakaki was browsing through Chiyo's books. She picked up a picture book and sat down at the table to look at it.

"What's that?" Yomi asked.

"Ooh," Chiyo said, coming back into the room with the tea. "That's my newest book on birds. Aren't the photos lovely?" She put the tea down on the table then everyone gathered round to look at the book, as they all (even Yomi) wanted a break from studying.

"Ooh, an owl!" Osaka gasped. Everybody else sweatdropped.

"Umm, Osaka, that's a robin, not an owl," Chiyo explained slowly, not entirely sure if the Osakan was joking or not.

Sakaki began looking all dreamy as images of robins singing merrily atop snow-covered branches and owls wearing fluffy, red Santa Claus type hats came floating into her mind.

"No!" Tomo shouted, making everyone jump and breaking even Sakaki out of her daydream somewhat. "It's not a robin; it's an owl with an identity crisis."

Yomi groaned, "Just when I thought you couldn't get any stupider, you come out and say something like this…"

"I'm not stupid," Tomo replied, smirking like a demented… Tomo. "I'm Tomo the Great, so I'm always right, so I'm not stupid. It's an owl!"

"It's a robin you Numbnut," Kagura groaned in exasperation when she noticed that Yomi seemed to have given up on Tomo entirely.
"A robin."

"It's an owl!"

"A robin."

"An owl."

"A robin."

"An owl!

"A robin!"

"A robin!"

"An owl!"

"Hah!" Tomo shouted. "I TOLD you it was an owl, and now finally you agree with me! Because I am Tomo the…"

"Shut up," Kagura snapped, throwing a textbook in Tomo's direction. "Anyway, if anything has an identity crisis it's you."

"How so?" Tomo gasped, puffing herself up like an angry cat.

"You seem to think you're Fujiko Mine half the time…"

"Well you have to admit I'm just like her," Tomo replied, beaming.

"Less Fujiko Mine, more Naruto," Yomi muttered.

"Yeah, Uzumaki Tomo," Kagura sniggered.

Suddenly Osaka cut across their conversation with yet another random statement. "Why do owls have red chests?"

"Osaka, robins have red chests, not owls…" Chiyo giggled.

"Yeah but why do they have red chests?" Osaka asked. "Is it coz they eat other birds and the blood from the other birds makes then go all red and stff?"

Tomo burst out laughing, as did Kagura.

Yomi groaned, muttering something along the lines of "This is more idiotic than the blue piranha thing…"

Sakaki, however, blanched, her daydreams of owls in Santa Claus hats and robins singing merrily in snow-covered trees vanishing into nothing.