Title: Twelve days to DOOM

Summary: Every year, Zim and Dib strike a twelve day truce to prepare the upcoming battle against the evil Santa Costume. A chapter per day until Christmas. ZADR.

Warning: Gay xenophilia (it's ZADR, dhu); fanservice; Grinch-like tendencies

Rating: Mature

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Jhonen and Nickelodeon. I just borrow them and force them to act on my kinky fantasies.

Author's Note: This is not your average Christmas fic, people. I tried to do something different than the usual mistletoe abuse. Based on the Christmas carol "The Twelve days of Christmas" you'll get a new chapter every day –if I manage it- until the grand finale on Doomsday!

This is not beta-read, and English is not my first language, I have still lots to learn. If you find any mistakes on this chapter or the next ones, don't hesitate to point them to me, I'll be glad to correct them! Thanks!

December 13th

Dib ran. It was one of the things he did best, next to yelling and pointing. He ran for his life like he had done on countless times before, on countless settings, but all for the same reason: he had once again done something to piss Zim off.

His heavy boots scrunched the snow, leaving footprints he didn't have time to erase. Now was not the time to take precautions. But it was the perfect occasion to run like mad as if it was the devil pursuing him.

It was almost the same thing if you think about it.

Dib ran on the empty city streets, his trench coat and scarf flying behind him, his breath coming out in white clouds, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the night. He heard something, turned left and entered a deserted alley.

That's when a sonic wave got him square in the back. He fell face-first to the cold and dirty floor. He coughed and turned around, still trying to get his breath back. Over him, the dark silhouette of Zim's spider legs could be seen against the grayish sky.

'This is enough, stoo-pid hyumun' hissed the Invader. 'You should not have foiled my amazing plan, this time…'

'It was doomed to fail anyways' coughed Dib, trying to sit up.

A spider-leg impaled itself on his trench coat and pinned him to the floor.

'Too long you have annoyed me, Dib-stink' groaned Zim. 'It's time to end this, once and for all.'

He positioned a spider-leg over Dib's heart, ready to strike.


Dib's watch announced midnight.

'Stop!' shouted the teenager. 'You can't kill me now!'

'My internal clock hasn't struck the hour yet' answered Zim with a malicious grin.

He then lowered the spider-leg in a deadly thrust. And stopped it millimeters from Dib's heart.

'Now it has' continued Zim with a snort.

Dib opened his eyes wide, scandalized.

'You bastard! You did it on purpose!' he yelled.

'Of course' answered smugly the Invader. 'It is so much fun to see you squirm. Did you wet your pants in fear, stinky hyumun?'

Dib made a face and pushed the spider-leg out of his way. Zim extended a hand and helped him get back on his feet.

'You didn't have to thrown me in the mud' grunted the human.

'You didn't have to sabotage my last experiment' answered the alien.

'That was for the laser-weasels of last week!'

'In retaliation for the water-balloon to the face last month!'

'If you didn't ruin all my…'

'That was because you…'

'Oh that's not true, that time was your –'

'LIES! It was all because of –'

Dib held both hands in front of him, trying to calm the alien.

'No need to wake up the whole neighborhood' he admonished. 'Anyways, the truce has started already.'

'Yes, yes' grumbled the Invader with a wave of his gloved hand. 'I will have to suffer your presence again for the next twelve days, I know.'

'No need to sound so giddy about it' grumbled the teenager, looking sideways.

Zim shot him a strange look and started walking away.

'Go rest, Dib-stink' he ordered. 'I'll go by your house tomorrow to see what can be upgraded to your ship.'

'It's still under repairs from last fight, you know…'

'Still?!?' shrieked Zim. 'Why aren't you done yet? We need that ship for the upcoming battle!'

'You blasted a plasma ray right trough it!' retorted Dib. 'That was last week! I had to sleep and go to school, you know?'

'We will have to do something about that' grumbled the Invader for himself.

He took out his spider-legs once again and started climbing the walls.

'Do get some rest, Dib-thing' ordered Zim. 'We have lots of work to accomplish before Christmas.'

Dib nodded, in all seriousness. Christmas wasn't a time for joy and sharing, not since Zim had tried to take over the holiday. Every year, alien and teenager stopped their ongoing war for the twelve days leading to Christmas, in order to prepare for the upcoming fight.

Santa Claus was coming to town.

AN: Love it? Hate it? Be sure to let me know! That review button doesn't bite, you know? Me neither! (Unless asked nicely, of course.)