A/N: This isn't my favorite, though there were parts where I was like "I really like that." I've reread it a couple times but still I typed this straight onto words so any mistakes I apologize. Hope you enjoy. Oh, and it's totally AU from Hi Society. It's a future fic. Okay, enjoy. R&R. Thanks! –Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own GG.
A Long Time To Be Wrong
"I thought I would love you forever, but that's a long time to be wrong."
Blair Waldorf was less than twenty four hours from the culmination of the happy ending she had always planned for. She should have been filled with restless, bubbly excitement over her wedding day. The grand occasion was being described as Societal Event of the Year by all the papers. Every thing was going according to plan. But something had her distracted.
This was everything she had ever dreamed of—from the first stitch on her dress right down to the very last petal of the very last flower. She had convinced her mother and father to be civil enough so that she could have her father walk her down the aisle. Serena and she were on good enough terms for her to be Blair's Maid of Honor, along with Little Jenny, Kati and Isabel as bridesmaids. Everything was a perfect replica of the childhood fantasy she had concocted over the years. Except for one thing: Blair could never have imagined that Chuck Bass would be the one to pocket her heart for good. Yet, she was more in love with him than she could have ever conceived of.
But Blair had something other than dresses, flowers and her deliciously scandalous fiancé on her mind.
With all the thoughts of weddings and dreams-come-true, Blair began to reflect on the person she had first imagined as her lifetime love. It had been a journey to get to where she was with experiences that pressed her forward and some that kept her tethered to the past. One constant throughout the years up until her last year at Constance Billard, was that the man standing at the alter would be Nathaniel Archibald. Blair would never claim that what she had with Nate was perfect—most of it was an illusion kept up for the benefit of others rather than themselves. It was just that before Chuck became such a large part of her life, Blair had seen Nate and Husband as synonymous.
What was bothering Blair, though, was not that Nate wasn't the groom to her bride. It was that, while their relationship had been rocky and had ended without too much fan fare, they really didn't have any type of finality. No closure, Blair kept thinking.
It was upon that realization that Blair resolved to visit her old beau at his hotel room the night before her wedding. Rationally, she knew she would see him the next day at the ceremony—though Chuck and Nate hadn't been on good terms since Nate had discovered Chuck and Blair's relationship and wasn't in the wedding party, Blair and Chuck had mutually decided that they wanted him to be a part of their happy day despite whatever bad blood they had between them in the past. This conversation she was meaning to have with him, however, couldn't wait. Blair wanted to close that chapter of her life for good, and she couldn't walk down that aisle before she did.
Blair had obsessively memorized the room numbers of all her most important guests, and using that knowledge easily located Nate's room. She didn't hesitate in her course until she had her arm raised to knock on the door. Taking a single deep breath to compose herself, she brought her hand down on the door a few times to alert the occupant to her presence. She dropped her hand back down to rest on the small clutch she carried with her, and waited patiently for the door to swing open.
Blair stood straight-backed and poised when the door opened to reveal a disheveled Nate. He was in the same clothes he had worn to the rehearsal dinner, only with his suit jacket off and tie loosened around his neck. She waited patiently, under Nate's bemused expression, for him to invite her inside. This wasn't a conversation she was content with having in the hallway of a prestigious hotel filled to the brim with gossips and rumormongers.
"What are you doing here Blair?" Nate asked, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. Blair recognized the habit as something he would do when he was confused or uncomfortable.
Blair raised an eyebrow at Nate, allowing herself a small smile. "Aren't you going to invite me in? I see your time away from Manhattan has dulled your propriety."
"Sorry." Nate responded instinctively, and gestured her inside.
Blair nodded to him as she passed him on her way to the interior of the hotel room. Once in the center of the room, she turned on her heel to observe Nate. He closed the door behind them and turned to face her, hands finding their way into his slacks' pockets—another familiar habit of his. The corners of Blair's lips twitched upward for a passing second at noticing this. There are some things about people that never change, she thought. The smile didn't hold. She had a purpose for being there and she wasn't going to let the nostalgia deter her from her course.
"Was there something you needed? Or are you going to just stand there all silent and intimidating?" Nate questioned, his head tilted to the side slightly.
Blair rolled her eyes effortlessly, "Of course I have a reason for being here."
Nate fixed her with a inquisitive stare and prompted, "Which is?"
"We never had any closure." Blair said matter-of-factly after a short pause.
He was scratching his neck again, "Does Chuck know you're here?"
"No, we've upheld the whole the groom-can't-see-the-bride-before-the-wedding tradition. But I don't doubt that he would understand my reasoning for being here."
"Us not having closure?" Nate ventured.
"Is there a specific way you intend to remedy that particular problem?"
Blair ignored the fact that he had been talking entirely in questions since she arrived and answered, "Yes. There are some things I need to say, that I should have said a long time ago.
"When we were in high school, I was childishly naïve. I had thought that my first love would be my only. You've heard that whole spill about the white picket fence and the two-point-five children. Well, I had my own version of that with a Manhattan penthouse; a daughter who had the best parts of me and my husband, but with a personality like Serena that kept her in the spotlight; money to spare and to top it all off the Vanderbilt ring resting on my petite left ring finger." Blair dreamily recounted her teenage fantasy, her eyes tilted heavenward—a million miles away from the hotel room she stood in. "It was perfect."
"I'm not done yet." Blair cut him off, "And every time I looked into the future, you were the one by my side. Every time. I couldn't imagine my future without you in it, and because of that I assumed you would be the one I would marry one day.
"But things changed. So much happened and everything got turned upside down. You and Serena—I know I said I forgave you, but a part of me never did. At the masquerade, when you didn't find me in time…it was like a testament to what was happening to our relationship. You stopped trying, and nothing I did could force you to want me and only me. That night when I asked you if you loved me and you didn't answer, it hurt. It hurt so badly. Then the stunt you pulled on my birthday, I was only so lucky to have someone there to keep me from falling into shambles." Blair tried to swallow down the tears that were trying to spill from her eyes. "I never said anything, ever. I wasn't ready to let go of that school girl dream."
"Blair, if you were unhappy…I…"
"You would have what? Fixed things? Made everything all better?" Blair demanded, "We were both unhappy, and there was nothing to do to repair the damage we had done to each other's hearts. But after Chuck and I…"
Nate grimaced, "I don't think I want to hear anymore. I got over the fact that I had lost you to him, but that doesn't mean I want the details."
"Well, I had to live with wondering about the details of your little fling with Serena, you can listen to me now." Blair responded with a deliberate guilt trip. "Chuck offered me something you never could give me fully. A part of your heart always lingered with the idea of Serena—I bet even now that she and Dan have the perfect little family and are happier than ever, there's still a part of you that longs for her. I grew to accept that. I had Chuck's heart, however mystifying it was for everyone to find out he even had one, and that was more than enough for me. That was everything to me. And the picture of you in my future disappeared and was replaced."
"There's one thing I never understood. How did this thing with you and Chuck happen?" Nate regarded her with a curious look.
"It's hardly a thing. We're getting married tomorrow." Blair scoffed, "To answer your question though, it just happened. He has a pull over me that I can't control. I don't know how or why it happened, just that it did and I couldn't be happier."
"I'm glad you're happy Blair." Nate said genuinely. "Are we anywhere near having closure yet?"
"Almost." Blair responded. "I just needed to say that you broke my heart, even if it was just a small break, it hurt. And I went a long time acting like none of it ever happened. I won't do that anymore."
"I know you are, I really do. I know you never intended to hurt me the way you did. There are things that are just out of your control, believe me I know. I forgave you a long time ago."
"Don't." Blair shook her head as she started to walk toward the door.
Nate turned as she passed him, and watched as she approached the door. She had her hand poised to turn the doorknob, but she dropped it and turned back to him. She sighed, knowing she wanted to say the one last thing.
"I thought I would love you forever," Blair began and with a contemplative look, "But that's a long time to be wrong."
Nate nodded, "Burden lifted, right?"
"Lifted." Blair agreed and took a deep breath, "You feel that? That's closure."
A moment or so later, Blair was closing Nate's hotel room door behind her. As she started down the hall toward the elevator, she intended to return to her own room. But a joyful whim caught her by surprise and the next thing she knew she was pressing the button for a different floor. When the elevator doors opened for her once again, she strolled down the corridor until she found the right room. She smiled briefly before she knocked. She felt lighter on her feet, and the restless, bubbly excitement over her wedding the next day that had eluded her finally appeared.
After a few moments of no answer, Blair leaned in closer to the door and spoke clearly, "I know you're there. And frankly, I don't give a damn about traditions and customs…I want to spend this night with you. So, open the door."
"Are you sure?" A voice broke through the door.
"I've lost count of how many times you've asked me that question and the answer has always been the same. Yes, I'm sure. Now open the damn door." Blair responded and smiled as the lock clicked open.
The door swung open, and Blair immediately stepped forward. The second Chuck was revealed from behind the doorway, Blair was in his arms. She felt him tense in surprise, but he relaxed and pulled her tighter against him—their lips magnetically finding each other. He pulled her further into the room and closed the door behind them. Blair let out a breathy laugh against his lips as they stumbled toward the bed. Chuck picked her up and sat her on the bed before crawling over her. Her arms wrapped around him tightly. Their kisses slowed, and Blair pulled away slightly her eyes meeting Chuck's intense gaze.
"Is something wrong?" Chuck asked.
"Absolutely nothing," Blair broke a smile, "We're getting married tomorrow, and I just realized we have a lifetime of being right."
Chuck matched her smile and swooped down to kiss her again. Blessed butterflies fluttered, jittery, in her stomach, and she couldn't have been happier.