A/N: Almost 350 word drabble. Nothing more. Only the plot is mine, everything else, you figure out who it belongs to.


"What are you wearing, Granger?"

"A thong. Why?"

"Wait—what's a thong?"

"It's what I'm wearing, you moron."

"Hey! I resent that. It looks uncomfortable."

"What? No, they're very comfy."

"But…isn't that thin little strap right between there quite annoying?"

"Well…sometimes. But you get used to it."

"But there's a strip through your—"

"I know. So? They're not all that uncomfortable to wear. You should wear them. I believe there are some made for men."

"Are you out of you mind, Granger? What man in their right mind would wear women's accessories?"

"Well…I've seen Harry and Ron wear them before."

"Yes, well, they're different. Gays and homosexuals don't count."

"Malfoy!" Thwack. "If you're going to insult them, don't do it in front of me."



"Can I see your thong?"




"Because they look so fascinating."

"Erm, okay then."

Scuffle. Scuffle. Tug. Grunt.

"So how much do these cost?"

"Well, you can get them from about 2 pounds to about 15 pounds. I got mine for about 10 pounds."

"Bloody hell, Granger. 10 pounds for such a small, skimpy thing as this?"

"Well, yes. Besides, they look cute. They stay on better than the regular ones."

"Hell, Granger, not if you're having sex. They'd be one of the first to go."



"Are you implying something, Malfoy?"

"What would I be implying?"

"But—you—oh never mind. Can I please have my thong back? I'm getting a little cold, and I feel a bit bare."

Grin. Waves thong around. "If you want it, you'll have to get it from me."


"Oh, come on, Granger. Have a little fun. Now are you going to get it, or will I have to discard it in the fireplace?"




"Give me that back!"

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

"Fu—bloody hell, Granger! Stop! Ow…stop hitting me with your thong!"

"These cost me 10 bloody pounds! I will not have them thrown and burned in the fire."

"All right, all right! Christ, Granger, can't you take a joke?"


"Just slip that bloody thong of yours back on so we can get over this little violent episode of yours."

"Fine, but next time you try and take my flip-flops and incinerate them, I'll stick them up your arse."


A/N: For those of you who didn't get the hint at the end, thongs are also known as sandals.

Such dirty minds. :)

Reviews greatly appreciated, guys. Thanks!