Disclaimer: Like everything else I own, this is not mine. (…I am aware that made no sense.)

Author's Note: Before we get to the pleasantries, let me just make this perfectly clear—

THIS IS A FANFICTION ABOUT LYRAxPAN.

You can like it or dislike it, but there's your warning. And for the many of you who seem to enjoy disregarding these warnings for the primal pleasure of tearing my work apart, get a life. Still, if you insist on being immature—bring it on. Hell, I write homosexual incest all of the time… your feeble attempts at making me feel terrible about myself only succeed in making me giggle. (I feel I should note, in case any happen to be reading: those of you who dislike the pairing but still manage to leave me a friendly, helpful review—I greatly appreciate it. You guys rock! As do you who leave friendly reviews AND like the pairing. XD)

Now, for a moment of fangirling: OH MY GOD! Okay, you guys who like PanxLyra— there's a 10 minute long extra for Golden Compass running on that movie-commercial channel (I hope you guys know what I'm talking about). During this little bonus, there's a clip of Dakota (girl who plays Lyra) and Freddie (boy who voices Pan) doing a recording session together—THEY ARE SO CUTE! XD XD XD Totally OTP! Oh, it was enough to make the PanxLyra fan in me squeal. Watch it if you can!

Also, if you're looking for a laugh, check out my bio page. There's a link to a Daemon Forum that I found particularly amusing… (Remember, though, that they are entitled to their own opinions and are free to share them on their websites. If you decide to drop a note, please be polite!)

Anyway, onto the fanfic. These are a few ficlet ideas I've decided to string together for conveniences' sake. I hope you enjoy them!

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ONE

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For Her

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I wanted to be human for her. Nothing more—nothing less. To have rosy flesh, a supple body, features of my own… Flesh for her to touch; a body that could hold her; a face that she could memorize with kisses.

I wanted to be hers. Nothing more, nothing less, and desperately—so desperately that it nearly killed me inside, made my very essence ache with longing! Longing and loneliness… and despair.

Despair because I knew—I knew—that one day, the permanent change would come. And that there was no force on this world or any other that would allow me my one selfishness.

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The Bird and The Fish

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"A bird and a fish can love," he quoted softly, his lithe fur body twining gently around and around her pale neck. "But where would they live?"

For a moment, the young woman said nothing… then she offered him a small smile, long lashes hiding her eyes as she ran caressing fingers over his sinewy form. "In each other's hearts, of course."

The small creature paused—then seemed to smile.

It was a good enough answer for him.

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Kissing

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And as Lyra's lips touched Will's, as his met hers, as they connected again and again, the young girl wondered why her body felt so happy, but a vital part of her heart seemed to have turned to stone.

Pantalaimon refused to sleep by her side that night.

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Prince

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"Sometimes," Lyra confessed in a giggled whisper, curling close to the soft white ermine, "I imagine that if I kiss you, you'll turn into a prince—just like in those silly fairy tales."

At the words, the ermine snorted… and on a whim melted into a warty toad. Lyra blinked in bemusement as the slimy creature offered her a jovial wink. "Wanna try?"

They laughed themselves to sleep.

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The Question

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Sometimes, being a daemon was a curious thing. There were so many near-magical properties about them as a 'species'; if one thought about it hard enough, it was unequivocally baffling. To have been born the soul mate of another… to grow with them, laugh with them, love them. To be their eternal companion; to die the instant they did. And while he loved his life dearly, sometimes Pan had to wonder… what made this so?

Why?

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The Answer

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"Obviously," Lyra drawled, a tiny grin blossoming on her mischievous face as she locked Pantalaimon in a bone-crushing hug, "somebody knew I couldn't live without you—so they made it so that I wouldn't have to."

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Touché

(This is for a very wise reviewer… you know who you are. XD)

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"Lyra!" the master screeched, his raven daemon squawking heatedly on her perch as he stood and slammed his hand against his desk. "That is—that is horrible! No, it is worse—child, you don't DO that! People just… they just don't… do that…!"

The fiery fury died in a weak whimper of disgust. But just like the rage, it did little to the calm demeanor of the young girl before him. Rather, she chuckled, exchanged a small smile with Pan, and said sweetly: "'Course they do. That's why there's a name for it—masturbation."

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Wrong

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And as he felt his body twist and morph, soften and harden, elongate and shrink, he could hear some ancient voice in his head screaming no, no, no this is wrong, not right, not natural, not supposed to be THIS animal—!

But his heart—his human heart soared, and his boy lips smiled, and his Lyra beamed, and they savored his transformation as they always did as the musky dusk turned to jasmine-scented night.

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Well, guys, that's all she wrote! How about some of YOU compose some LyraxPan fanfiction? I'd love to read some that aren't my own! XD

Wait, what was that?

One more, you say?

Oh, well… all right. Because you asked so nicely.

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A Movie-Based Bonus For You Dirty-Minded Kiddies Out There…

(YES, THIS IS A PARODY)

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"Dirty mouthed… stupid—you know, he could have phrased it a little better, really! He could have said, 'Lyra, you wish for a means of travel?' He could've! Better than 'you want to—' Ugh, I can't even repeat it. Disgraceful… tactless! And what's more—"

"Pan," Lyra hissed through her clenched teeth, twisting her head just slightly in her furred cap. The movement didn't allow her to see the speaker—who was tangled up as a mouse in her hair— but it was enough to jostle the daemon into a temporary silence. "Iorek didn't mean anything… ungentlemanly… by asking if I…uh…"

She coughed discretely, pinking a bit despite her best efforts. As Pan's disapproving growl echoed responsively in her ears, Lyra added defensively: "He's doing us a favor!"

"Even so. I can be twice as big and strong and pleasu—"

"Don't even think of finishing that sentence," Lyra snapped, face darkening to scarlet. "Really! And people think you're a spineless coward."

Pan huffed, his little mouse breath ruffling the fine hairs on the side of her neck, making her shiver. "Perhaps," he agreed in soft distaste, scuttling up to her ear. His tiny claws massaged deep warmth all the way down to her core as he tickled his way around her head; his whiskers elicited a flurry of happily blossoming goose pimples upon her arms as they trembled against her sensitive skin. "But I'm willing to fight for what's mine."

Lyra unconsciously stiffed, her fingers clamping down on Iorek's back. "Ah—!" she whimpered, writhing in the wake of the tickling sensations that were trickling down her body and pooling in her lower belly.

Instinctively, the sprinting bear hesitated half a stride; his thundering voice called: "Are you all right, child?"

"Fine!" Lyra yelped in quick reply, crimson with embarrassment. Beside her ear, Pan released a smug snicker. The sound made the girl frown, but in spite of her best efforts at true anger, her eyes seemed to glow with embers of pleasure and half-suppressed amusement. "Really," she muttered under her breath, "and people wonder why you're my daemon. You're wicked… At least, when you get right down to it."

The mouse nipped the tip of her ear in a highly suggestive fashion, pleased by the noise it pulled from her throat. "That's what I plan to do, incidentally," he murmured. "When we get to that cabin."

Lyra turned magenta once again, and inwardly it made Pantalaimon smile. That's right, he thought, mentally sneering at the armored bear. The only one Lyra is allowed to 'ride' is me

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Movie goers, beware. I am not making up Iorek's line. (Sorry, Iorek, she's taken. X3)