Just Another Fairytale
"Niou, this is the last straw!" Sanada bellowed. "I demand that you go now."
Niou Masaharu yawned, "Nah… I'll go when the time is right…"
"Yeah, when the princess is kidnapped and eaten or something…" Marui muttered under his breath.
"Why don't you be a good maid and… you know… clean around?" Niou asked, giving Marui and annoyed look.
Marui glared at Niou, "It's butler, not MAID."
"Whatever…" Niou muttered, "Maid…"
"I HEARD THAT."
"You were supposed to, stupid," Said Niou, rolling his eyes.
Sanada twitched, "Jackal… escort Niou out. Now." He ordered with gritted teeth.
Jackal sweatdropped and went to "escort" Niou out.
"SAVE THE PRINCESS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT," Sanada bellowed past the doors.
"Yeah, yeah… ok, ok…" Niou said, not looking at bit energetic at all. "Go to the fortress, beat the monster… blah, blah, blah…"
Just then, Marui got kicked outta the door. He frowned, "FINE! BE THAT WAY!!! I DON'T LIKE YOUR FOOD AT ALL!" He screamed at the doors.
"Lemme guess, you asked for better food and you got kicked out," Niou said. "So Sanada wants you to follow me along like a pack mule."
"…I'm not a pack mule," Marui muttered.
"Eh, I'll just sell you later… maybe give you a dress… so you can be a real maid."
Marui twitched, "I'll give you three seconds before I unleash my tensai skills on you."
Niou shrugged and walked on.
"Somehow, I think the journey will SUCK. HORRIBLY." Marui muttered. "I hope the princess will be better than this guy…"
Oh how wrong he was…
"Oh god, we finally got to the stupid castle… and no one is there to guard it. What the heck is wrong with this place?" Marui said.
"Better for us," Niou yawned and casually strolled on. He kicked opened the door and found the princess room. Kinda…
"WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG, IDIOT!? I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A WHOLE STINKING YEAR!!!" The princess—er… should I say, prince exclaimed. Or should we say a boy wearing a pink princess outfit and with the stupid flowers in his hair? How about, a boy wearing a pink princess dress with stupid flowers in his hair, with an extremely annoyed look on his face, and glaring at our lazy knight?
"Niou… were we supposed to save a boy or a girl?" Marui asked, pointing at the boy.
"I don't care… let's go before he kills us… Maybe he's having his monthly…" The rat-tailed boy muttered, walking out of the room.
"COME BACK HERE!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAVE ME!" The prince stomped out. "COME BACK HERE!!! YOU BETTER COME BACK!!! I'M KIRIHARA AKAYA AND I GET WHAT I FRIGGIN HELL WANT!!!"
"Oh great, maybe he is having his monthly…" Marui muttered, shaking his head in defeat. Oh woe is to him! He can't bear it any longer!! Oh, how wrong was his dream life? To live, marry, have a few kids, die before his wife (hopefully), and just DIE IN PEACE!! WAS IT SO WRONG TO HAVE SUCH A LIFE?!
Probably. Or God just hates him. Or he enjoys watching Marui's life suck. Well, who said his life has to be normal?
Niou mounted on his horse, Marui the same. Yes, they somehow managed to get horses behind our backs. We don't know how, they just did.
Kirihara ran behind them, looked at the horses, and frowned, he looked at Niou, "Well?"
Niou gave Kirihara a bored look, "Well what?"
"Get off the horse and let me ride it," Kirihara ordered.
"No," Niou replied. "Sheesh, what's got your panties tied in knots?"
Kirihara flushed red, "I DON'T WEAR PANTIES!!" He yelled. "NOW GET OFF THE HORSE!!!"
"No, stupid cross-dressing princess…" Niou said, then added, "Who obviously has no manners whatsoever. Why should I help you? Hmm?"
"BECAUSE I'M THE PRINCESS—er… PRINCE!!! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME!!"
Marui wanted to jump off a cliff, maybe there was one behind these bushes… He sighed and said, "Look, why don't you—"
"SHUT UP, STUPID SERVANT!" Kirihara yelled at Marui, which made him frown.
"I'M NOT A FRICKIN SERVANT!!!" Marui yelled back.
"I DON'T CARE!!! YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!"
Marui twitched, was this girl—er… boy worst than Niou, or was Niou worst? He couldn't decide, but he hoped than once he dies, he won't have to deal with these two. Seriously.
Niou sighed, and scratched his head. "Get on the horse then, we'll share it."
Kirihara stamped a foot, "NO! I WANT MY OWN HORSE!! I'M NOT A PRISSY LITTLE GIRL LIKE THOSE OTHER PRINCESSES!!! I DESERVE MY OWN HORSE!!"
"You're such a pain…" Niou muttered as he walked towards the princess—prince.
"HEY, DON'T GET SO CLOSE!! OI! OI! YOU LISTENING TO ME?!" Kirihara yelled, "OI!!"
Niou picked up Kirihara as if he were a sack of sand. He somehow managed to get Kirihara on the horse in front of him (even with the struggling of the unhappy Princess) and got on the horse himself. "See? Now everyone is happy," He had his arms around the younger boy's waist to avoid him running off during the travels, yes, Niou is so smart, isn't he?
"I DEMAND YOU LET ME OFF!! NO WAIT!! YOU GET OFF! I WANT TO RIDE IT MYSELF AND GO HOME MYSELF!" Kirihara screamed, making Niou wince from the loudness.
"Look kid, I hate you no more than you hate me, but Sanada won't give me back my stuff until I rescue you," Niou said, then muttering something like, "Darn him… taking away Yagyuu like that…"
"I DON'T WANT TO GO YOUR HOUSE!!! YOU'LL… YOU'LL RAPE ME!! I'M TOO YOUNG AND PURE TO GET RAPED BY AN OLD MAN LIKE YOU!!!" The younger boy went on.
Niou rode faster, muttering about how much he hated his job. Oh why didn't he just become a blacksmith or something? That way, he and Yagyuu can just live in peace… but NOOO, "You have to help our country, Niou-kun," Yagyuu says. "You will make more money for us!" Yagyuu says. Screw the country, why can't Niou just go home and screw him!? Ooh, he so wished he didn't mutter that… and he didn't. Well, if he did, the brat wouldn't hear him from screaming his stupid lungs off anyways.
Meanwhile, Marui just ran behind Niou, glad that the princess-boy was not near him at all.
It was about three to four when the two guys (and a pissed off princess) made camp, Niou decided to rest his horse (and his poor ears) for the day. He asked Marui to set up the fire. He asked Kirihara to just stay put and don't run off.
Well, it didn't work. Kirihara attempted to run off with his horse an hour later, so Niou tied the boy to a tree. He didn't like it. Nope, he didn't like it one bit, but Niou liked it. He didn't have to panic when the brat runs off. A few more hours and he and Yagyuu shall live happily ever after, he thought.
While Marui got ready to cook, Kirihara, who was still tied to a tree, continued to struggle. "LEGGO OF ME, STUPID PRINCE!! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT YOU SHOULD TREAT PRINCESSES (he twitched when he said it) SHOULD BE TREATED WITH RESPECT?! WHERE ARE YOU MANNERS?!"
Niou looked over and said, "Well, actually, you're a boy… so I can't treat you like a lady," Then he smirked evilly, "Unless you are a girl…"
"I'm NOT a girl!! I'M NOT!!! My dad just wants me to get married off!! Seriously!!" Kirihara cried, "I can't give birth!! Really!!"
"Eh, I don't care. I'm just saving you so I can see Yagyuu again (he's probably lonely in the dungeons without me! Oh woe!). I don't care about you," With that said, Niou took a bite outta his dinner and made a face, "Marui, what'd you add in there? Bear crap!?"
Marui looked offended, "It's NOT bear crap! Yanagi told me to make it, he said it'll be good for us and it's filling. Besides, it can't be that bad… can it?" He took and bite and spit it back out a second later, "HOLY CRAP! THAT TASTES LIKE BEAR CRAP!"
"I already said that!"
While all this was going on, Kirihara was laughing his butt off, but then he soon realized…
"HEY! YOU FORGOT TO GIVE ME DINNER!!!"
Niou and Marui exchanged evil looks and picked up their bowls. Kirihara gulped, he somehow doubted something good will happen. Darn his shouting ways!! "OH NO! I'M NOT EATIN THAT!!! NOOOOO!!!!"
The cry was heard across the country…
It was early next morning, Niou had untied the unconscious Kirihara (who suffered from the dinner last night) and was about to get on the horse. He looked around, no Marui… He sighed, and yelled, "OI MARUI!! IF YOU CONTINUE SLEEPING, I'LL LEAVE WITHOUT YOU!!"
With that said, Marui fell down a tree. "OW! THAT HURT!" He shot Niou a glare, and brushed himself off. He took his time seeing if he had any injuries and such.
Niou rolled his eyes, "Sheesh, stop acting like a girl!! It doesn't matter if you look ugly this morning, I'm sure you always looked that way," then he received a blow to the head by an acorn.
Niou rubbed his head and muttered something about how stupid Marui was and how he was gonna so totally sell him later on. Marui continued glaring at Niou the whole journey home.
Kirihara? Well… he was unconscious the whole time… Somewhere out there, Yanagi cackled evilly with his friend, Inui...
"I brought the stupid princess, Sanada," Niou announced as he approached the emperor. "Now gimme back Yagyuu, damn you."
Sanada looked at Kirihara, then at Niou. "Well, I can't really give you back Yagyuu—"
"WHAT?!" Interrupted Niou. "What happened to Yagyuu?" He demanded.
Sanada cleared his throat and said something extremely quietly.
Sanada sighed, "Niou… I don't know how you'll react to this, but since our country of Rikkai is lacking reinforcements… We had to make a truce somehow, so we sort of…"
"Sold Yagyuu off to Oshitari Yuushi of Hyoutei," Yanagi finished for him emotionlessly.
Niou almost did a jaw drop. In fact, Marui could have SWORN he did a jaw drop for a few seconds. "W-w-w-w-w… WHAAAAT?!?!?"
"Before you run off in despair, we have one more thing to say," Yanagi added.
Niou felt like running off alright, maybe even going on an evil journey to find his Yagyuu again.
"Well, you saved the princess… and since you did… well… We had an agreement years ago, made by our country and Kirihara's family… well, since their family has strong armies, the agreement was made," Yanagi explained.
They didn't have to finish it, Niou knew it was coming.
He took a deep breath, "Lemme get this straight…" He had a headache… "The stupid rulers of this castle made an agreement with Kirihara's family years ago… and now I have to MARRY her—er… Him? Don't you think it's a little sudden? I mean, I JUST saved he—him!"
"Look, I don't make up the rules here. They did. Whatever twisted thing it is, the agreement was made," Yanagi said, as if he didn't care… at all. He didn't actually.
"Well, make him marry Marui or something!"
"I doubt they would wants their son marrying a servant."
"WELL, PROMOTE MARUI."
"Nah, I like seeing you suffer."
Niou twitched and stomped out of the castle, cursing his stupid fate. Little did he know, he left Kirihara in there, standing, mouth gaping wide open.
"I—er… HE—er… We—" Kirihara sputtered. "MARRIAGE?!?!"
He took a deep breath and whispered to himself, "Don't worry Akaya, you're imagining this… it's just a dream… you'll go home soon enough…"
"Yes, marriage as in you know, getting married," Yanagi replied, unfazed.
"I-NO… NEVER!! I WILL NEVER MARRY THE LIKES OF HIM!! HE'S STUPID AND MEAN!! HE TIED ME TO A TREE!!!" Kirihara whined. "AT LEAST FIND SOMEONE HANDSOME!!!"
Sanada twitched and sighed.
Jackal sweatdropped. "I'll show Akaya to his room then?"
"Just go," Sanada whispered to him.
Jackal nodded and went to show the still whining Kirihara his room.
"You will stay here," Jackal told him.
Kirihara looked at the room, big windows with lots of light… dark green curtains? Weird. A big bed with a canopy at one side, a desk on another, and a bookcase near a giant closet. A giant chandelier hung on the high ceiling, it shimmered as the bright sunlight from the windows shone on it.
"Eh, pretty plain…" Kirihara muttered, but he didn't care. Hey, it was a BED. This whole time, he's been sleeping on some commoner's bed in that giant fortress and a little while ago, a tree.
"Well, your clothes are in the closet," Jackal announced, and then left.
"I hate my life… why did I have to be the chosen one? Nee-chan could have done it… curse her and her luck…" Kirihara muttered, as he looked out the window. "Stupid castle… stupid knight…"
Just outside, Niou was thinking about the marriage. Darn his luck… He will not marry that bratty cross-dressing prince. He will NEVER. He will find a way to find Yagyuu again. He shall.
Please tell me if you liked it!! Any comments are fine, of course.