Treehouse of Horror: Naruto style IV

A/N: I do not own Naruto or the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror

Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto

The Simpsons belong to Matt Groaning

Back in the gallery Naruto introduces the final painting.

"We come now to the final and most terrifying painting of the evening. To even gaze upon it is to go mad." the blond ninja points to a picture of dogs playing poker, which Kakashi was looking at it with wide eyes. Those dogs looked so familer; then it hit him.

"Th...Those are my dogs...and they're playing poker! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Kakashi screamed like a mad man as he ran off.

"We had a story to go with this painting,but it was far too intense. So we just threw something together with vampires. Enjoy!" said Naruto with a large smile as he walked off.

(Segment starts)

For the past few nights in the village of Konohagakure there had been some strange attacks going on, which left the ANBU Black Ops baffled.

"You haven't found any leads yet?" asked the Hokage.

"No sir, the only clues we found is that all the victims were attacked at night, two teeth marks on their throats." replied an ANBU ninja.

"The infliction doesn't seem to be the work of any type of jutsu or weapon, but the really baffleing part is that it seems all the victims have had their blood drained out." said a female ANBU officer.

"This is serious, we need to set a curfew throughout the whole village until we figure this case out." replied the Third.


The next day the issue was out to the whole village that a cerfew was in order, and every newspaper artical talked about the attacks that have been happening.

In a rather familer cafe, Team 7 was having breakfast before they started training. Sasuke was reading the artical about the attacks which read: Mysterious Assalent Ninja Plages Village. The artical contained pictures of the victims, the bite marks clearly being shown. Sakura looked at the cover and her eyes widened in fear.

"They're wrong! The creature they seek is the walking undead: Nosferatu, Das Wampyr!" she cried, Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi all stare at her blankly.

"A vampire!" cired the pink.

"Sakura," chuckled Naruto. "Vampires are make-believe, just like Elves, Gremlins and Eskimos."

"Quit, they're saying something on t.v." said Kakashi as he raised the volume, the four leaf ninjas listened.

"In a completely unrelated story, millionar Senbei Momoji has just closed a deal to buy the Konohagakure blood bank." said the anchor man. The camera zooms in on Momoji for an interview. He was a young and handsome man, fair skined with long black hair and violet eyes

"Oh, I'm very excited about this deal." said Momoji, but before he could say anything else he noticed blood dripping from his mouth. As quick as a flash he licks it up.

"Mmm...precious blood." he moaned.

"Did anybody but me think that was weird?" asked Sakura.

"You're not alone." replied the three males.


The next day, Team 7 was being escorted to Senbei Momoji's mansion to seal the deal on the bloodbank offer.

"So any specific reason why our team was picked to seal this deal?" asked Naruto as the team made their way up to the mansion.

"I agree, there's something fishy about this whole set-up." replied Sakura.

"Sakura, stop being so suspicious. Now did everyone wash thei necks like Mr. Momoji asked?" asked Kakashi.

"Yes..." moaned the pink kunoichi.

"Sure did!" replied Naruto while pulling out a cloth from his pocket.

"Whatever." said the Uchiha lazily.

The team arrives at the mansion. Kakashi rings the doorbell as Momoji's voice i heard on the speaker.

"Welcome, come in. Ah, fresh victims for my ever growling army of the undead." he says the last part quitly, unaware that the others heard him.

"Sir, you have to let go of the button." said a servent, who sounded like a young boy no older then 19.

"Oh, son of a bi--"

Momoji was cut off as the doors opened. Team 7 walks in, their suspesion growing stronger. As they entered the mansion, Momoji suddenly appeared, with whom appeared to be the servent. He was in fact no older then 19, and wore a long red velvet robe and turben on his head, covering his hair.

"Well if it isn't the oh-so-well known Team 7, lead by Kakashi Hatake, the Copy Cat Ninja am I correct?"

"Yes, it is nice to meet you Mr. Momoji." replied Kakashi.

Momoji walks off and motions for the team to follow him.

"Did you guys notice anything strange?" asked Sakura when she was sure Momoji was out of ear shot.

"Yeah, his hairdo looks so queer." replied Naruto.

"I heard that!" yelled Momoji from a distance.

"It was Sasuke!" replied Naruto pointing at said Uchiha.

"Hermmmm..." groaned Sasuke.


In the dining room the team was surived what looked to be punch, but boy were they wrong.

"Ooh, punch!" said Naruto, looking at the red liquid in his glass. Sakura smells her glass and recoils with disgust.

"Ew, Naruto, this is blood!"

"Correction: free blood!" said Naruto as he took a big gulp of it.

'Some things going on here and I'm gonna find out!' Sakura though to herself as she came up with an idea. Trying to make it look like an accident, Sakura spills her blood on her dress.

"Whoop! Sasuke and I have to wash up." she said with a nervous smile.

"But you didn't get any on--" before Sasuke can finish Sakura smeared his face with a handful of blood.

"EW!!" he cried as the pink haired girl grabbed him roughly by the collor and draged him off.


The two genin walk down a long dark corridor in hopes of finding any clues.

"Momoji isn't a vampire. And even if he was we're not going to stubble on his secret hiding place." said Sasuke in annoyence as he leaned on a lamp attached to the wall, which causes a wall to move. It revealed a laundry room.

"You're probably right, let's just go back to--" Sakura gasps as she turns around to see a neon sign reading 'Secret vampire room, no garlic.' They both went down the long steps into the dungeon like room. As they reach the bottom they saw several coffins lying about.

"Satisfied?" asked the pink smugly.

"Big deal! It's no different from the basement in the retirement home back in Konoha." replied the raven stubbornly.

"Look!" cried Sakura while pointing to a book in the middle of the room. The book was intitled 'Yes, I Am A Vampire' by Senben Momoji.

"Oh My God!" gasped Sakura as she began to read the book.

From behind the two genin, vampires began rising from their coffins. Sakura was too distracted by the book, but Sasuke saw them and boy was he terrified.

"Nub, Nub! Ba-ba-ba!" cried Sasuke as he pulled on Sakura's arm.

"Please, Sasuke, I'll hear your Curly inpression later." said Sakura while strugging the raven off as she continued to read. The vampires continued to advance on them.

"Ungh, Ungh!" whimpered Sasuke while pulling on Sakura's arm harder and pointed at the advancing vampires.

"Yeah, I'll hear your Shemp too." said Sakura, desperate to continue reading. But before she could finish a vampire's claw rips the page infront of her.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed the children as they ran up the stairs. As Sasuke ran he passed a switch reading 'If you want the power to kill you're brother, pull this switch.'

Sasuke's mouth absolutely watered at the sign.

"At last." he whispered excitedly as he pulls down the switch. The moment he does the steps become flat and the stupid raven slid down them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed Sasuke as he realized he was headed stright for the vampires. The instent he landed the vampires grabbed ahold of his limbs and held him in place. A bat flies in front of Sasuke and morphs into Senben Momoji.

"Hello...Sasuke Uchiha." said Momoji, but his voice was different, it sounded deep and evil.

"Allow me to introduce myself properly." he said while reaching for his face and pulling it off to reveal paper white skin and golden eyes.

"O-O-Orochimaru!" gasped Sasuke in horror.

"Of course it's me! Do you honestly think Senben Momoji would buy a blood bank! He's hemophobic you know." with that said Orochimaru's fangs extend and he dove for Sasuke.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed he raven for the last time.


Meanwhile,Saskura ran back to the dining room to tell Kakashi and Naruto.

"Naruto, Kakashi-sensei! Senben Momoji is a vampire and he has Sasuke!" she cried franticlly.

"Why, Sasuke's right here." said Momoji from the doorway with blood on his fangs, he had his hands on Sasuke's shoulders.

"Hello...Naruto. Hello...Sakura. Hello...Kakashi-sensei. I missed you during my eventful absence." said the raven in a trace-like state.

"Sakura, you and your stories," said Naruto "Sasuke is a vampire. Eating too much ramen gives you diarrhea. Now lets go back to..." but before the blond could finish he grabbed a hold of his stomach.

"I gotta go to the bathroom!" he cried while running off.


By the time the team got home it was already night time, so they all went their seperate ways to get to their houses. As Sakura walked to her house she could have sworn she felt that someone was following her. Her fears were confirmed by the shadows casted above her. The frightened girl turned around to see Sasuke, Lee, Shikamaru, Choji, and Hinata floting above her, all vampires.

"Aah!" yelped the girl as she stumbled back.

"Come join us Sakura, it' so cool, you get to stay up all night drinking blood, and Orochimaru gives you power beyond you're wildest dreams!" said Sasuke with a deranged smile as he reached behind him and pulled out the severed head of Itachi Uchiha.

"Orochimaru?!" gasped Sakura and then it came to her.

'The Imortallity jutsu, of course!'

"And you won't even need to use jutsu anymore!" seconed Lee.

"No, no!" cried Sakura as she turned and ran, but before she could get withen five steps Sasuke materialized in front of her with his arms folded over his chest.

"Sakura, it's not like you have a choice here!" chuckled Sasuke as he pounce on the deffencless girl, pining her arms and legs down.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" screamed Sakura as Sasuke's fangs extended and made a dive for her neck.

"Sasuke!" screamed Kakashi, as he saw what was happening on his way home. "How many times do I have to tell you not to bite Sakura?!"

Kakashi took a closer look at Sasuke and his eyes widen.

"Wait a minute, you are a vampire!" he gasped while running over and pulling Sakura from Sasuke's reach. Just then Naruto came running in with a stake and hammer.

"Quick, we have to kill the bastard!" he cried.

"How did you know he was a vampire?" asked Sakura. Naruto's eyes widened.

"He's a vampire? Aah!" yelped the blond as he droped his instruments and ran behind Kakashi. Sasuke turned into a bat right before their eyes and took flight along with he others.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAH!!" laughed the raven as he disapeared into the night.

"Dammit! I've never faced something like this before. I'm not sure what to do." groaned Kakashi.

The only way to get Sasuke and the others back is to kill the head vampire. Orochimaru!" declared Sakura as she raised up the stake that Naruto had into the air.

"Kill Orochimaru?! asked Naruto. "Do I dare live out the the Konoha dream?"


At Orochimarus' castle. Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura made their way down the basement.

"This is dangerous, we should have called for backup." said Kakashi.

As they continued to make their way down, Naruto saw a switch that said 'Free Ramen'.

"Oooh!" said Naruto in delight as he reached for the switch.

"No Naruto." said Sakura sternly.

"Oh, I guess killing will be fun enough." groaned Naruto.

The team made their way down the stairs and saw a coffin in the center of the room. Sakura and Kakashi removed the lid, exposing a sleeping Orochimaru.

"You must drive this stake right through his heart." said Sakura as she handed Naruto the stake and hammer. Naruto possisions the stake on Orochimaru and began hammering.

"Take that, vile fiend!" he yells dramatically as he drove the stake inward.

"Uh, Naruto, that's his crotch." said Kakashi matter of factly.

"Oh sorry." chuckled Naruto. He took the stake out and drove it into his heart, the very instend he did Orochimaru woke up, screaming.


After his shreck he dies and turns to goo.

"Whew!" sighed Naruto in realif.

"We did it! Now all we have to do is wait for Sasuke to come back." said Sakura as the three made their way out of the basment and back home.


They next day the team met at the cafe for breakfast, and Sasuke seemed to be back to normal.

"It's so nice having everything back to normal." said Sakura in realif while eating her cereal. Just then the owner of the cafe made his way into the room...flying!

"I'm a vampire and I've come to suck your blood!" he yelled dramatically but then colided with the wall and collapsed. "This cape is giving me a rash." he said miserablely.

"Mr. Takanaka is a vampire?" asked Sakura in disbelife.

"We're all vampires!" declaired Sasuke as he Naruto and Kakashi floating in mid-air, fangs exposed (Kakashi lifts down his mask to show his fangs).

"But no, we killed Orochimaru!" gasped Sakura as she stepped back.

"You have to kill the head vampire!" declared Kakashi.

"You're the head vampire?" asked Sakura in fear. This couldn't be happening!

"No, I'm the head vampire!" screeched Naruto.

"Naruto?" whimpered Sakura.

"What you think I'm so immature that I can't run a vampire clan?" asked Naruto in offence.

The team all fly at Sakura, fangs extended, but they stop and turn to us?

"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year every body! From all of us and CandyGirl999!"


A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but I think the last line of the story should seal the apology.