This will be the last chapter to "Candy Pie". Sad? Don't be. I'm currently working on another "Chowder" fiction. Enjoy this last installment.
As I floss my teeth with electrical power lines, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R MOTHERHOPERS! Flame and/or Fluff me!
"WHAT?!?" Mung jumped out from behind Truffles and stomped up to his sister-in-law. "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME WE COOKED ALL THIS FOOD FOR NOTHIN'?"
Dumplin's head drew back in surprise before she growled like an angry pit bull at her brother-in-law. Surprising everyone, probably including himself, Mung growled right back.
"We wasted time, money and energy preparing food for that convention!" the executive chef snarled, eyes narrowed in a furious squint. "Not to mention that we busted out butts putting all we had into these dishes!"
Dumplin' and Mung had a laser-beam stare-down.
"Mama," Candy quietly spoke up from beside her mother. "Is that really true?"
The southern woman broke her intimidating stare-down with her brother-in-law and looked sympathetically at her daughter.
"I'm afraid so Candy," Dumplin' replied.
The southern cook's bottom lip started to quiver. But Truffles came floating up to them.
"Impossible!" the Mushroom Pixie stated, her big eyes narrowed. "The Watchers of Weight convention is one of the most anticipated get-togethers of the year. It can't be canceled."
"Believe it or not Truffles," Dumplin' told her sister. "An' y'all will never believe why the convention was canceled!"
Mung folded his arms.
"Let me guess," the executive chef snorted. "Cannibalism."
Dumplin' whirled around and that's when Chowder jumped off of Mung. Being in a sack full of ham at the zoo would be a safer place.
"Y'all better put a sock in that horse mouth of yours or I'll smack ya into next week!" the southern woman snarled, holding out a fist.
"Or did your sparkling snapping turtle personality scare everyone away Dumplin'?" Mung now had the nerve to laugh at death.
Truffles saw her sister's fist draw back as she was about to smash her husband's head in.
"Take it easy Dumplin'," the smaller Mushroom Pixie caught her sister's fist. "Mungy's mine to kill. Now why was the convention canceled?"
Dumplin' narrowed her eyes at her brother-in-law as he stuck his tongue out at her with the "loser" sign on his forehead.
"Some high-and-mighty soul figured to take a close look at the Watchers of Weight's contract on the Marzipan Stadium," Dumplin' continued and crossed her arms. "By havin' y'all's lil' ol' caterin' company supply the food, we violated the contract with the stadium. We've been kicked out like an ol' cat who can't hunt mice."
Everyone was in a stupor… besides Mung's mouth.
"That's the STUPIDEST thing I have ever heard!" Mung pushed Truffles out of his way and locked eyes with Dumplin'. "A convention about food… and you forgot to write that down in the contract?! You take a stupid pill or something Dumplin'?!?!"
"Y'all's gonna better get a pain pill for the beatin' I about to give y'all," Dumplin' threatened.
"I'd like to see you-" Mung hissed through clinched teeth before Truffles grabbed her husband.
"MUNG! Corner. Now!" Truffles pointed to a chair in a corner of the kitchen.
Grumbling to himself, the head chef relented and sat in his chair. Just then Schnitzel came walking back into the room. His eyes came to Candy first, who was starting to cry.
"Schnitzel!" Chowder came running up to the soui chef.
Grabbing a pan, Schnitzel held it between him and the "Jock Strap" flavored-lolly mouth kitten.
"The convention's been canceled!" Chowder pointed at the southern people in the room.
The soui chef's eyes followed Candy who swallowed her tears and walked to Dumplin'.
"But mama," the southern cook voiced. "We came all that way fo' the get-togetha… This is just plain horrible!"
Mama Dumplin' nodded and crossed her arms.
"I know Candy sweetie," the Mushroom Pixie said. "An' now we gots ourselves a stadium-full o' people that have no where to go."
All in the kitchen sighed, now a black cloud hanging over the catering company. Chowder who had the clearest head of anyone because he was still happily licking on his "specialty flavored" lollipop, glanced over everyone in the room.
"Why don't we just find some other place that can hold a stadium-full of hungry people?" he asked, smacking his lips.
"But where can we find a place like that?" Mung said from his corner. "It's gotta be huge enough for all those people and food."
Chowder was still whittling away at his candy, the kitten shrugged.
"What about the park?" Chowder asked, like it was no big deal. "It's huge, it's got plenty of tables for all the food and it doesn't have a ceiling. That way all the nasty convention smell swill float away with the breeze."
The sound of seven idea light-bulbs went through the air.
"Brilliant!" Mung jumped up from his chair in the corner. "Chowder! You're a genius! We'll hold the Watchers of Weight convention at the Marzipan City Park!"
"I have those genius moments once in a while," the kitten stated before tossing his lolly over his shoulder and it hit Schnitzel in the head.
Without hesitating Schnitzel ripped the nasty candy sucker off of his head, taking a wad of his hair with it.
"TO THE PARK!" Mung declared.
Cut to the Marzipan City Park. Southern Dixie Land music poured into the air by a live band and different awesome smells of food filled the air. Mung Daal's Catering Company had rolled out its finest barbecue on the park's lunch tables. And hundreds of people were there to eat. A big crowd like that attracts big attention.
"NO!" Ms. Endive cried to the heavens. "This is not supposed to happen! The convention was canceled!"
Mung's high-strung competition fell to her knees, her apprentice Panini standing close by.
"Mung's food was not meant to see the light of day!" Endive snarled. "I saw to it that this convention was canceled!"
At her crazed words, she attracted the attention of Truffles and a crowd of angry convention members.
"YOU canceled the Watchers of Weight convention?!" the Mushroom Pixie snarled, pointing at Endive.
"Oh sure she did!" Panini cheered innocently. "When Mung insulted her, she had a complex and shut down you corn dog-munchin' redneck fools!"
THAT got the full wrath of the Watchers of Weight conventioneers. At Truffles' lead everyone broke out into an angry mob, complete with pitch forks and torches. In something that resembled a mob mentioned in the middle of this story chasing after her, Ms. Endive took to her heels, Panini under her arm.
At watching their food being wolfed down with contented "mmms", the Mung Daal team beamed.
"This is the best Watchers of Weight convention EVER!" some random person shouted, barbecue bib over his shirt and ribs in either of his hands.
Mung smiled and turned to his team of Schnitzel, Chowder and Candy.
"Today, Mung Daal's Catering Company pulled off the impossible!" the head chef began. "We have made hundreds of barbecue loving dieters happy. Remember this moment, for there are few like it."
Because they had to humor Mung, Chowder, Candy and Schnitzel stood there motionless but glanced at each other.
"This is just great!" Pecan's perky voice cut through the silence. "Y'all did an awesome job!"
Candy laughed at her sister's appearance. Her mouth was covered in food.
"Save some for the convention members Pecan," the southern cook told her sister.
"No way!" she cheered. "Y'all hit a home run!"
And Pecan went back for thirds. Then Dumplin' walked over to her step-brother-in-law.
"Well, y'all pulled it off," the southern mama stated, the words leaving her mouth like acid. "It's good for a second rate barbecue cooker, an' I will try to choke it down."
Mung smirked at his step-sister-in-law.
"Oh come off it Dumplin'," he crossed his arms. "I delivered. Admit it."
"Over y'all dead carcass you ancient gator-skinned shoe," Dumplin' retorted and fluttered away.
"As good as answer as I'll ever get!" Mung puffed out his chest. "Woo! And it's all thanks to an awesome team."
Even the stoic Schnitzel cracked a smile at the chef's compliment. Mung then turned to Candy.
"Candy sweetie, you did such a good job, I'd like to offer you a part-time job at the Mung Daal Catering Company," the head chef asked.
Candy gave a loud southern squeal before she gave her step-uncle-in-law a bear hug.
"I'd be tickled to!" the southern cook cheered.
Mung's eyes popped out of his head.
"Fine, fine!" he wheezed. "First order as executive barbecue expert, don't kill your boss!"
Candy released her Uncle Mung.
"Aw Uncle Mung!" the southern cook beamed. "Thank y'all! Y'all is sweeter than honey suckle!"
Chowder lost his attention.
"Mung…! Can I eat now?" the kitten whined.
The head chef nodded.
"Let's enjoy the fruits of our labor!" Mung cheered.
"What in the heck does that mean?" Chowder asked.
"It means… LAST ONE TO STUFF THEIR FACE IS A ROTTEN EGG!" Mung pushed Chowder down and ran toward the buffet.
Chowder sprinted after the executive chef. Candy and Schnitzel were left alone. The southern cook gave the soui chef a grin.
"Looks like you and I will be seein' each other more often!" Candy beamed.
Schnitzel did a good job of hiding his glee. He stretched out his hand.
"Radda radda ra," the soui chef welcomed her to the Mung Daal's Catering Company team.
Candy took his hand with a big smile.
"I'd love to dance!" the southern cook suddenly cheered.
Schnitzel didn't have time to fight back before he was yanked into the make-shift dance-floor, which was a patch of clear grass. The southern cook and soui chef danced as Mung and Chowder stuffed their faces, Truffles chased Ms. Endive and the southern party carried on into the afternoon.
And we leave our favorite catering team with the sound of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" resounding throughout Marzipan City.
And for those astute people out there the Watchers of Weight is a spin off of a popular weight loss program. It's been a scream and I'm glad you motherhopers liked it. R&R. LONG LIVE ROCK!