Kenpachi's Bells


Psycho-neurotically disturbed

A/N: This is set long before the current storyline. The year is 1857; Kenpachi and his most loyal followers are scouting a town in Massachusetts for hollows on a dark September night. Some historical references are made in this retelling of how the song "Jingle Bells" truly came to be.

Tink tink tiiiinnnnk!

Tink tink tiiiinnnnk!

Tink tink tink ta tiiiinnnnk!

It was actually a rather comforting sound to the few who were capable of hearing it. The bells let off an almost playful melody as the group of four walked down a dark street in Massachusetts. Yumichika was often fond of saying that they improved the beauty of the dull world around them. Ikkaku would give a grunt to this, which was neither positive nor negative in nature, but Yumichika knew that his dearest friend did agree with him. Kenpachi's bells were just one of the more decent things about life in the eleventh division. They walked in peaceful near-silence, appreciating the after life and all the beauty that surrounded them.

That was until Yachiru began humming.

It was innocent enough, of course. It even brought something akin to a smile to Kenpachi's face. It only took Yumichika a moment to realize she was humming in time with Kenpachi's bells. He thought it just wouldn't be right if his beautiful voice wasn't included in her song. Ikkaku's eyebrow twitched as the two started their humming. It was kind of annoying and it was making it harder for him to hear Kenpachi's bells.

Hmm hmm tiiiinnnnk!

Tink tink hhhhuuuummmm!

Tink tink hmm hm tiiiinnnnk!

And it definitely wasn't until Yumichika began singing that the group failed to notice the middle aged man that had been watching them, completely interested in the song, had stopped to listen to the shinigami's light tenor voice.

"Dashing to hollows
with one swipe we will slay

o'er the fields we go
battling all the way"

Kenpachi continued walking; Yachiru had managed to climb up his shoulder again. She sat on his shoulder, swinging her feet against his chest in time with the beat. Kenpachi's shadow of a smile widened a little.

Ikkaku let out a bit of a chuckle, but kept silent after that. Yumichika patted Ikkaku's shoulder and continued his little song.

"Bells on his hair ring
making spirits fight"

Yachiru pulled on one of Kenpachi's spikes and sang over Yumichika's next line a little too loudly:

"What fun it is to laugh and sing
'bout Kenny's hair tonight"

Ikkaku snorted at the look on Kenpachi Zaraki's face. The captain looked a bit agitated at Yachiru words, but kept silent all the same.

The man watching them wasn't an average man. No, this man was a lyricist! A bard! His name: James Lord Pierpont. The thief!

"Oh, Kenpachi's bells, Kenpachi's bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to fight
Hollows we will slay"

The thief thought it was most catchy.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to fight
Hollows we will slay"

Yumichika prodded Ikkaku in the ribs. They exchanged a look.

The look intensified.

Yumichika won.

Ikkaku sighed.

"A day or two ago
I thought I'd start a fight
And soon I saw Kenpachi
Was fighting by my side"

The thief grinned as the bald one sang.

"The sword was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
Into a hollow his sword sank

His sword's name he did sought"

Thief hummed along as the chorus began again.

"Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to fight
Hollows we will slay"

Yachiru poked Kenpachi. The large shinigami looked up. She pointed. Kenpachi looked. Yumichika looked. Ikkaku looked.

"Hmm hmm tiiiinnnnk!

Tink tink hhhhuuuummmm!

Tink tink hmm hm tiiiinnnnk!"

Was that man? No, he couldn't be…could he be? Humming along? No. Never. Was he? He was!

All fell silent.

Except Thief.

"Hmm hmm Bells!

Hm hm Bells!

Jingle hmm hm waaay!!

Oh, what hmm it is to hmmm

A sledding…"

A Pause.

"Sledding? No wait...

A sleighing song tonight!"

A bell jingled.

Yumichika and Yachiru stared in disbelief. That man just stole their song!

"Should've gotten a patent," Kenpachi commiserated.

"Could…" Ikkaku began in wonder, "that guy see us?"

"Oh my," said James Lord Pierpont.


AN: I'm sure James Lord Pierpont did not actually steal "Jingle Bells," but you can never be too sure.