1Forgive Me and Move On

Sam's goodbye

Sam couldn't get rid of it, he scrubbed his skin till the water ran cold, but the blood was still there Madison's blood. Why wouldn't it come off? He grabbed the quickly disappearing soap and started again, he had to get this blood off. As the soap finally disappeared under sam's large hands his hope of the blood coming off was fading like the bar of soap. The cold water coaxed a shiver from Sam's slumped body.

He stood at the yellowed sink looking at his blood smeared face. He smashed the reflection so he couldn't see his fresh tears mixed with the imaginary blood on his cheeks. He shot her and she was only 24. He ended her life because she was scared and didn't want to live in the fear. He should have taken her with them, lock her up at night like Dean suggested. At least she still would have lived a life, could still see sunsets and full moons.

When his hand returned to his side it was covered in blood, and this time Sam knew it was his. He raised his fist over the sink and watch the blood run of the strewn pieces of mirror and down the drain. There he saw one piece of broken mirror that make him think about his knife, long, shining blade and sharp. Most of all it had the power to end lives.

Sam grabbed that piece and headed back into the running water of the shower, which by now was beyond freezing and capable of delivering hyperthermia. Sam didn't care about the water, he was going to rid his body of her blood by spilling his. If he died the pain had to die Sam thought as the mirror entered his wrist and followed the blue path of the vain.

As Sam finished following the blue trace marks on both wrists his thoughts traveled to Dean. He thought of two questions. How mad would Dean be? Would Dean be okay without him? He came to a quick conclusion on both questions, of course Dean would be hopping mad. NO FURIOUS, but Dean would get over that. The second question was harder but the answer still came quickly. His answer was obvious, Dean would okay, when Sam left for collage Dean was alone. He lived , he hunted and fucked any woman he saw or saved from the evil they hunt. He'd live Sam was sure.

Sam's body slumped into the corner of the shower the life draining from him, down the drain mixed with ice water. The blood of Madison mixed with his and followed the path his blood created and left Sam's cooling body. He thought this was it, he was numb. He closed his eyes and whispered a final goodbye to Dean, the only thing that he had left living in the world he was slowly leaving, and smiled because the pain was over.

The last thing Sam heard was Dean's voice calling his name between sobs, and cried into Sam's drenched hair. If you looked closely you would have seen as Dean held Sam a single tear ran down Sam's face, because the last thing he heard was his brother's voice.

A Frater lost a animus lacer unus must permoveo in quod memor bonus vicis( brother lost a soul torn one must move on and remember the good times)