Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me.
Louder Than Words.
She's watching you, has been for sometime now. At first you tried to ignore it, but it's becoming increasingly difficult for you to ignore her heated gaze. You feel it rake over your body before coming back to settle on your face.
She had been watching you since breakfast and through out the classes you shared together. You had somehow managed to hold out against her, but now, as you sit here pushing your lunch around with your fork in a bored manner, your resolve to not look at her deteriorates.
You glance across the great hall, scanning the sea of nameless faces before your eyes lock with a pair of bewitching hazel ones. You expect to see them shine with victory for having outlasted your frail resolve. Instead, you see a smoldering fire burning as she gazes back at you. The fire in her eyes has started a slow burning one in the pit of your stomach, and when she lets her gaze fall to appraise your body again, you bite your bottom lip in and desperate attempt to stifle the moan bubbling up within you.
She looks into your eyes and you think maybe even into your soul, once more before rising from her seat and leaving the great hall. The message as clear to you as if she'd whispered it against your ear.
"Come to me."
You shudder and mutter some excuse or another to Draco before rising from your seat and following the silent command obediently. You're sure that he doesn't know who has you wrapped around their finger but you're certain that he knows there is someone and you are grateful that he leaves it at that, at least for now.
She's far enough ahead of you that she has disappeared from your sight but her scent still lingers in the air around you. Vanilla and cinnamon, you know it well and follow it through out the halls. After a series of twists and turns, you finally come to what you're sure has become her favorite broom closet to snog in.
You knock in the designated pattern before the door swings open and you are quickly pulled inside. She wastes no time with pleasantries as she pushes you against the wall and plunges her tongue into your mouth. It's too dark to see but you can imagine that her eyes are squeezed shut as her hands grip your thighs.
You moan into her mouth, arching into her touch. Your hands reach for her shirt but she pushes them away. For a moment you become bitter at the thought that you could never touch her until she wanted, no, needed you to touch her. Then and only then were you allowed. The thought angers you enough to pull away, but just as you're about to, her lips suddenly tear away from yours only to latch onto the pulsing point on your neck.
She sucks mercilessly, her tongue working along your pulsing vein and your head falls back against the wall, all thoughts of being upset with her fading away. Your hands hang limply at your sides, your breathing ragged and it's all you can do to keep standing as her hands stroke along your inner thighs. Closer and closer to where she knows you want her to be but never there as her tongue makes a slow trail up your neck and along your jaw.
Your voice is needy and pleading and you hate the way it sounds but maybe it was what she needed to hear. Suddenly her thigh is between yours, pressing tight against your center, making you gasp. She traces the shell of your ear with the tip of her tongue.
"I need you." She whispers huskily into your ear and swallows your moan when she thrusts her thigh against you.
You nearly cry out when as suddenly as she was on you, touching you, she pulls away. You feel cold, as if she sucked all the warmth out of you when she stepped away. Even though she can't see you, you look away the the emptiness you feel.
She presses something into your hand before she leaves you alone in the closet.
You stay for a moment, composing yourself both physically and emotionally, before exiting the closet. The bell rings and you make your way towards your next class, tossing the note she gave to you into the nearest trash can. You didn't need to look at it, you already knew what it said.
Room of Requirement. 12:00
It always did and like always, the note would disintegrate within another minute or so. It had been the same routine for months now. At first, it amused you that she would come to you wanting, needing, even if she was always in control. The opportunity to knock the little know-it-all off her pedestal wasn't lost on you so you let her have her control. After all it was her begging you and not the other way around.
Then something changed. You wanted to touch her softly, make her sigh and moan because she enjoyed your touch. Not just because she needed it. You wanted to hold her afterwards, gaze into her eyes and see the love you knew were beginning to reflect in your own eyes.
Instead she squeezes her eyes shut and once she's sated she leaves you alone and hollow. Then acting as if you don't exist until the next time she needs you. At first you thought that she kept her eyes closed so that she wouldn't have to see you, your love, or your tears, but now, you've begun to believe that she's hiding. Hiding her love as well as her own tears. Hiding from you. You can't understand why she would do that when it was easy to see that you felt the same. Yet nothing has changed and you're surprised to realize that it hurts you. So tonight, you've decided, is going to be different, it has to be.
You arrive to the Room of Requirement on time, not surprised to see the door already there. Once inside, you lock the door before looking around. The first thing you notice is that you can see even though there are no lights or candles and you look up. You're in awe as you take in the clear night sky, the moon casting it's gentle rays upon you from the enchanted ceiling, just like in the great hall. She never ceases to amaze you and you almost smile when a faint noise draws your attention away from the ceiling.
In the center of the room, directly beneath the moon is a large bed with silver sheets. She is sitting at the edge of the bed watching you, waiting for you. She beckons for you to come to her but you stay where you are. She arches her eyebrow in question but stands and walks towards you none the less.
She's still wearing her uniform and you briefly wonder how long she's been here. You changed after dinner into a black tank top with matching pajama bottoms, not liking to wear your uniform longer than necessary. Then again she was different.
She reaches for you but you step out of her reach. At her confused look you ask,
"What is this Hermione? What are we doing here?"
She stares at you confused and you try again, a bit more frustrated than you were.
"What am I to you?"
Realization of what's happening dawns on her and she glares at you. She's angry that you would dare break her perfect and precise routine but you won't let this go.
"Am I just a shag in the night? Some toy that you can use when it's convenient and then tossed aside when you've had your fun?"
She looks away from you but doesn't bother to answer. This angers you because she always has an answer for everything. She must have an answer for this as well.
"Answer me!!" You shout and she swiftly turns her glare on you again.
"Yes!" She says fiercely. "You're nothing more than a tool that I use for my needs. And once you've done what is required of you, you are put away until you're needed again. Happy? Is that what you wanted to hear?"
You're angry that she would say that but you're hurt even more because you know she's lying. For a moment you're glad that she's a horrible lier but that fades along with your anger at the hurt in her eyes. She would rather lie to you than tell you what's in her heart and you can't understand why, and you want to find out more than anything.
"No. I want to know the truth." You say in a soft voice, taking a slow step towards her.
"Why are you doing this?" She whispers, not looking at you, but you can hear the tears in her voice.
"Because I need to know what this means to you, what I mean to you."
She doesn't answer you, her eyes downcast and you try again.
"Hermione, please. Why are you keeping me at arms length. Why won't you let me in?" You ask desperately, you voice breaking because of the ache nestled in you throat from unshed tears.
"Because I'm afraid!" She says suddenly, your eyes locking again. "Because I'm afraid." She says again in a softer voice.
She doesn't elaborate but then again, she doesn't have to. It's all written in her eyes, tears clinging to her lashes. Your eyes widen in realization.
She's afraid to let herself love you. She's afraid of what it would mean for her as a Gryffindor, for you as a Slytherin. She's afraid to let you get close because of Draco and what she believes will be your inevitable marriage to him.
You don't know what to say because you hadn't even considered these things. You had been too engrossed in you to think about the conflicts she was dealing with, and it breaks your heart when her tears begin to fall.
She turns from you, now that she has been exposed, and reaches for the door handle.
"I should go." She whispers in a defeated voice.
You put your hand on the door to prevent her from opening it.
"Wait. Don't go." You say to her in a pleading voice, but she just stands there, her hand still on the door handle.
"Hermione, please. I'll do anything you want, be anything you want. Just, don't go, please." You try again.
This time she looks at you but before she can say anything, you kiss her. You pour everything you have into this kiss, hoping that if your words couldn't reach her, this would.
You sigh as she moves her hand from the door to slide her fingers along your neck. She begins to take control of the kiss, teasing your lips with her tongue. Her hand slips under your top, her fingers caressing your stomach.
You pull out of the kiss and grab both of her hands. You refuse to let things go back to the way they were. You want her to feel the way you do.
So when she looks at you confused, you kiss her softly, letting your lips caress hers in the lightest of touches. You guide her hands behind her back gently and hold them there with one of yours. Instead of resisting, she sighs and relaxes into you.
You continue to kiss her softly while your other hand works to release her tie. You pull it from around her neck and let it drop to the floor as you start to guide her towards the bed. You begin to work on the buttons of her shirt and her breath hitches when you lightly flick you tongue over her lips.
She parts her lips for your tongue to enter but you pull away to look at her instead. Her breathing is shallow and her eyes are half-lidded as she watches you. You lean into her, pressing your lips to the spot just behind her jaw and she whimpers when you lightly stroke her pulse with the tip of your tongue.
She continues to whimper as you continue to lavish her exposed skin with soft kisses and light strokes of your tongue. You undo her skirt and it falls in a heap on the floor. Her shirt and bra follows before you get on your knees. You release her hands to hook your thumbs in the sides of her knickers and pull them down. Your kisses along her stomach become more passionate as you enjoy her panting and breathy sighs. She gasps and her legs shake when your teeth graze her hip bone and she has to grasp your shoulders with her hands to keep herself from falling.
"Pansy please, I can't-" She pants and you stand and wrap your arms around her waist to keep her steady.
She moans at the friction of your clothed body against her sensitive skin and grabs the hem of your tank top. Her eyes plead with you and you kiss her soft and slow, letting your tongues dance instead of fight.
You separate so that she can pull off your top before she presses her lips against your jaw. She continues to feather kisses along your neck and shoulders as she pushes your pants and underwear off your hips and down your legs with your help.
Once completely naked you kiss her again before taking her hand and pulling her towards the bed. You pull the sheets back and slide in. You watch as she slides in after you and pulling the sheets over her to cover her back from being exposed to the cool night air.
Your lips come together instantly in a soft kiss and you drag your nails along her spine. She shudders and turns onto her back, pulling you on top of her in the process. Her legs open and she sighs when you position yourself between them.
Your tongue traces along her lips and she parts them. You slowly dip your tongue into her mouth as if just to taste what it can offer before pulling it back out. You repeat this action over and over as your hands explore her body.
She moans as her body arches into your touch and when your tongue retreats from her mouth once more, her tongue follows. You shift so that your thigh is pressed against her and she moans into your mouth. You groan in the back of your throat at the sensation of her wetness against your skin as your start a slow rhythm.
She pants into your mouth as she follows the rhythm you've set, her eyes never leaving yours. You sink into her hazel depths and when she presses her thigh against your wet center, it takes everything in you to keep from screaming.
Your bodies move together as one in an endless motion of fluidity. Her hands grip your back as one of your hands support your balance above her while the other strokes along her side, stomach, hip and thigh. Your lips a breaths distance from each other as she continues to gaze into your eyes and you can't help but wish that this moment could last forever.
"Pansy." She moans and arches into your body when you begin to move faster.
It won't be long now for either of you and you move your hand from her thigh to between her legs. Each of her breaths come out as moans as you trace meaningless patterns along her skin.
Her eyes flutter close as your fingers delve into her folds. You stop all movement and her eyes open to lock with yours. In that moment everything seems to stop, time and sound alike.
You stare into her eyes, now praying that she can see into your soul and you whisper,
"I love you."
A split second later you're buried deep inside of her and her eyes widen as her orgasm slams through her, taking you over the edge with her.
Her back arches and her nails dig into your back, pulling you closer still. Her teeth sink into your shoulder as your skin absorbs her screams. Her walls convulse around your fingers as her orgasm continues to rip through her. Through it all you are vaguely aware that you're whispering 'I love you' to her over and over again.
As her orgasm begins to subside she relaxes her hold on you to lay back on the pillow. That's when you notice the tears streaming from her eyes. Her eyes slide shut as you lean to kiss away each tear.
"I love you." You hear her whisper but you're not sure if you're imagining it.
"I love you." She whispers again and you look up to see her staring at you lovingly. You'd thought that you would only see that look in your dreams and you don't know whether to laugh or cry for joy.
Your happiness is short lived as the love in her eyes is replaced with shock then fear. She stiffens under you but before you can say or do anything, she's pulling away. You sit up, watching her climb out of the bed and begin to pull on her clothes.
"Hermione?" You say not understanding what's happening. She ignores you and continues to get dressed, not bothering to look at you.
She reaches for the door handle and your try again.
"Hermione." You say and she stops. You know that she can hear the hurt and pain in your voice.
"Don't do this." You say, your voice breaking along with your heart.
She looks at you this time and you can clearly see the anguish and sorrow in her eyes gleaming with tears. She gazes at you sadly for a moment longer before opening the door, walking through it and closing it behind her.
A sob forces its way from your throat and your body begins to shake. Your head falls forward and you don't bother fighting against your tears any longer.
As you cry freely, your tears falling between the fingers covering your face, you wonder if going after her would change anything. But you feel so cold and empty that you doubt you would be able to take a step with out breaking down.
A small part of you urges that you end this, whatever it is. That you can't endure this pain anymore but you ignore it because a bigger part of you knows that you will never be able to stay away from her.
So you'll endure because you love her.
Because you don't know what else you can do.
Because in the end, you can't bare to not be with her at all.
Thank you to Dove and all of those who read. Please review.