December 16, 2007
"Magical being" Justym said.
"Ninja" I yelled back
"Look, we've been at this for hours, I'd like to say that Santa is a magical creature based on the facts" Justym said in a know-it-all tone. Justym and I have been best friends for years; he's the more tactical thinker while I think about the simple way.
My name is Mike12, usually called Mike, Mikey, or Mikel. Justym and I are Special Jounins in the Silence village.
"Justym, Santa is a ninja, I mean he'd have to use Kage Bunshin no Jutsuand be use ninja speed to deliver gifts around all the villages in the world in one night, not to mention Freedom State which never stops moving!" I replied.
"Mikel-" Justym only calls me it when he trying to explain something to me "-there is no way, even with clones, to go across the world without out some magic, I mean how can a fat man enter a house without even being detected."
"That's what ninja's do, their supposed to be stealthy to sneak around!" I yelled back, losing my temper.
"Look, trust me, Terriator, the Original Admin-" Admin's are the founders of the Ninja World "- couldn't even detect Santa Claus, and no ninja can get past Terr." Justym replied, a smirk on his face, thinking he beat me.
I had to think this over, Terr was legendary, if anyone snuck past him and into his house, and he/she would have to be magical. Suddenly, I had an idea.
"Let's prove who's right!" I exclaimed. Justym just sighed; he hated it when I wanted to prove something because I'm usually wrong. I had to think quickly so he wouldn't find out with me. Justym is really lazy. "How about this, if you're right, then it would prove that you are the genius, but if I win, it proves that I'm the genius."
"So, even we do find him and your right, I can always smoke you in other things." He replied in an annoyed tone. Right, I thought, Justym doesn't respond to my taunts so time to do plan B.
"OK then, if we find Santa, and if he's a Magical Creature, we can capture him and you can steal his magic or experiment on him or something" I said, hopefully interesting him.
"Fine, but I'm selling that fat guy to science" Justym replied, thinking about how much ryo he will receive for Santa.
"Okay then, now to Glacier!" I exclaimed gleefully, starting to head off to the Village Hidden in the Snow.
"Mike, we are in Silence, it will take us about half a day to get to Glacier." Justym replied. I, who did not know what he meant by that, had a dumb look on my face. Justym sighed and explained" We need to get some supplies incase we get side tracked plus we need to make sure with the Transsexual Kage (ZekeAsakura) to make sure we don't get assigned any missions while we're gone."
"Ohhhh, well then lets go!" I said while pulling Justym with me.
After Justym and I got some supplies like weapons and food, we head for the Kage's room. On the way there, someone stopped me.
"Hey Mikey, mind helping me for a second?" said my friend, Kibachick2. "Uh, sure, go on without me Justym, I'll catch up" I said as Justym rolled his eyes and continued to the Kage's room.
Kibachick2 is one of my friends in Silence, she is also called Kiba, but I sometimes call her Kibs out of laziness. She is also rank Chuunin in Silence.
"Now let's go to the Tavern" Kiba said, pulling me into the Tavern.
"W hat is it that you want, Kibs?" I said, trying not to sound impatient.
"Protect my behind from Zeke; he was in here smacking other people's behinds." Kiba replied.
I sighed and saw Zeke appear right behind Kiba. Zeke, the Kage, pervert for both guys and girls.
"Kiba, I wouldn't tap that" Zeke said and then he disappeared.
"There" I said "Problem solved."
"OK…Hey Slushie" Kiba said cheerfully, waving to her lover, Slushie who just walked in. Slushie was a Chuunin like Kiba.
I felt a familiar urge to annoy bubble up in my stomach. I grinned and couldn't help myself from saying "Hey Kiba, have any sexy time with Slushie yet?"
She only laughed and said" Yeah, need to know anything else?"
"Are you expecting, Kiba?" I replied.
Suddenly, an utter look of anger appeared on Kiba's face. She then got out the Chainsaw and advanced towards me.
"Oh god, not again" I said, as I ran towards the door, using a replacement on the nearest genin I saw and ran over to where Justym went. As I ran, I heard screams of terror that would haunt my dreams if I wasn't in such a hurry.
I met up with Justym pouting outside of the Kage's room. As it turns out the Kage had an A rank mission in Konoki. So I decided to talk to Zeke.
"Hey Zeke" I said, walking in. "Can you un-assign that mission and give us a break?"
"Please?" I asked in an innocent little boy voice.
"No!" He replied.
I used Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Jutsu) trying to soften Zeke up. "Please?" I repeated.
"Ok, that's just wrong, so NO" Zeke yelled at me.
"Transform!" I said as I transformed into DarkBurger.
"Hey Smexy" I said in DB's voice.
"HELLZ YES" Zeke exclaimed.
Woo, I thought to myself, score! I transformed back into myself and ran out of the Kages room, grabbing Justym's hand in the process.
"What the heck" Justym asked as we ran to the village gates. I quickly explained to him what happened, and he just sighed. I don't think Justym likes the kage….
Two days later…
"Mikel, I can't believe it took us one and half more days then it should to get to Glacier" Justym said sighing.
"I'm sorry, I was holding the map upside down, sue a guy!" I yelled back, tired of Justyms constant put downs and complaints.
"Well at least we're here now, so you can take that foot out of you a-"I was saying before I was interrupted by giant snowballs coming at us.
Justym and I went into defensive mode, dodging all the snowballs. When it seemed that they wouldn't stop coming, Justym used Earth Shield to well…shield us. Then, I used Karyuu Endan - Fire Dragon Flame Projectile to melt all the snowballs.
As I was melting all the snowballs, Justym was sneaking toward the shooter and tied him up. It turned out to be an old student of mine, Younggaara, or Gaara for short.
"Hey sensei, sorry about doing that, I thought you were raiders" Gaara said, grinning in apology.
"It's okay" I said, smiling.
"Hn" Justym said, rolling his eyes.
"So Gaara, do you know where Santa lives?" I asked Gaara.
"Uh, I hear he lives in the North Mountain's peak" He replied. North's Mountain is the highest mountain in Glacier.
"Great, well lets go Justym, we're wasting daylight" I said to Justym. On the way to the mountain, I heard Gaara say something about untying him, but I was too much in a hurry to really care.
"Mikel, let's stop and take a rest" Justym said panting as we were about 300 feet from the peak of the mountain.
"C'mon Justym, North Mountain isn't that high" I said, while rolling my eyes.
"I know that but on the way up, we've fought three abominable snowmen, rabid mutated snow dogs, albino condors, polar bears, and lets not forget those pink ponies from the magical rainbows" Justym said.
"Yeah, I guess you're right…those ponies were vicious, who knew anything so cute could do to that polar bears spine" I said, while remembering the gruesome event.
After we had some rest, we rushed to the top. When we got there, Justym and I gasped. On top of the mountain was the dead rotting corpse of a reindeer. We continued onwards and saw a big fat man tied to a huge candy cane. Standing not far away was Exist, an old student and now a Chuunin, and DarkBurger, a Jounin.
"What the hell guys?!" I yelled at them. They looked at me then back at the tied up Santa.
"Well we're punishing this fat man because he tired to eat me while I was sleeping…oh and he scarred Exist mentally and physically or something" DarkBurger replied.
"Look, you can't kill the guy, you've got to sell him to science or the Konoki slave business" Justym said.
"Anyways" I said, walking up to Santa "Are you a magical creature or a ninja?" I asked "Oh and we will set you free if you answer us" I added.
"Magical…Ninja…Creature" was his reply.
"Okay boys, time to set him free…in the Konoki slave business" I said, while grinning evilly.
"Okay, sounds fair to us" Exist and DarkBurger said.
"What do I get out of this?" Justym asked.
"The ryo of course" I replied while i jumped off the mountain.
1 week later…
"Hey DB(DarkBurger), why'd you kill that reindeer" I asked. Some friends and I were in the Silence Tavern.
"It tried eating my little friend" DB replied. I was about to barf and was sorry I asked him.
As it tuned out, even though Santa was taken as a slave, there were presents under every Christmas tree and eaten cookies and milks left out. Nobody knows how that happened. Also, on a totally unrelated subject, Terriator was found missing last night and appeared to sleeping on his roof this morning with a cookie crumbs and dried milk on his face…