Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. If I did, I'd eat money. And that's a felony!
Warning: yaoi (perhaps shonen-ai), sex, a few curses & everything fine and dandy just like candy in between
"The Heart dies a little more
Every time I utter your name
Every time I taste you on my tongue
Every time you linger in my thoughts.
The Heart dies a little more"
By JD01 (Emerald Lies)
The sun was condemning them to fry in the heat. The very scant air was laden with the scalding humidity. It was literally suffocating them. Naruto took another swig of tepid unpleasant beer, shifting uncomfortably on the car's burning metal hood. The music blared loudly causing Naruto's heart pound furiously to its rhythm. The stench of lathering sweat, smoky herbs and cheap beer whiffed in the air. Naruto's first instinct was to hit the ground running and retch.
The women giggled unabashedly, blinking their lashes in a blatant attempt at seduction. The young man with red smears marring his cheeks howled crudely at the scantily dressed women, who, after such enthusiastic encouragement, began jutting their hips together, rolling the hem of their puny skirts upwards, revealing unblemished cream skin.
"BOO-TI-FUL! Oh ho! Shake that tha-ing!" roared Kiba, a toothy grin plastered over his face, his protruding canines glinting in the searing sun.
Naruto rolled his eyes, glancing at his overzealous friend beside him on the dilapidated rusty Chevy- though it was hard to decipher that it was originally of a brilliant scarlet since the paint had been thoroughly scraped off.
"Filthy hound," he muttered caustically under his breath. His deep cerulean eyes shifted to the endless azure horizon that was unblemished with clouds.
"What's got you panties in such a twist? Can't a man enjoy the view peacefully?" boomed the dog-lover, his chocolate eyes never abandoning the show before him. The girls licked their lips in anticipation. One particularly avid redhead had ever so slowly brought her frilly lacy panties to her knees from under her mini almost non-existent skirt. She smiled lustfully revealing yellow teeth- no doubt soiled by smoking. Now why did women believe that was attractive?
"Hey share the wealth man!" whined the youthful brunet, pointing to the cheap beer can.
" I'm surprised she was even wearing some undergarments," mused lazily Shikamaru, casually sprawled on the hood of his own rundown modest car, his hands nestled warmly behind his head.
"Our women have no class. They're loud and promiscuous, foul-mouthed cheap sluts… I love it!" Kiba hollered, as the lukewarm beer was passed to and fro between the trio.
"Speak for yourself dog shit. You're the biggest whore in town," grumbled Naruto, running a hand in a frustrated fashion in his blonde spikes. "And we have classy, elegant women. They're all taken though," the flaxen-haired young man sighed heavily, as though the weight of the world rested on his little frame. His blue eyes were ghosted with lingering nostalgia. Her gentle pink hair never bode well with her brash unladylike vibrancy. She grew up into a lovely young woman. He always knew she would, from the first moment he laid eyes on her. He had seen the stone that would be cut and polished in this jewel she now was. He desperately tried to contain the evanescing time, but it kept slipping from his fingers like fluid. The world continued to revolve, the clock kept ticking, but Naruto… he was stuck in a limbo. He never belonged in the past, his future was a blur, and he was utterly lost in the present.
"Seriously dude, I can't believe I'm saying this but you're ruining women for me. Why the hell are you so broody-ish?" was the vulgarity that spewed out of the shirtless Kiba's lips.
"He's miffed that he was the only one that didn't know," their lazy companion drawled out, enchanted by the summer sky.
"You didn't know? Wow, you really are an idiot huh?" the dog lover growled incredulously, howling with laughter.
A very irritated Naruto smacked him in the back of his head, without holding back an iota of strength.
"Ow!" moaned Kiba in agony, his face contorted in pain as he rubbed his scalp soothingly.
"Now Naruto, what did I tell you about animal cruelty?" Shikamaru mumbled, a fleeting smile on his lips.
Despite his crappy mood, Naruto's eyes lit up jovially as he indulged himself in mocking laughter. Kiba, however, was much less amused by his friends' antics.
"Gee Naruto, it's really swell that you're back home," muttered spitefully the spiky brunette as he slid off the car hood to go join the trio of flailing women.
"I'm going to go shake some ass," he politely informed Shikamaru, making some obscene hand gestures as he motioned towards the herd of short skirts and shrunken shirts that reveal a bit too much cutaneous surface and leaves very little to the sordid imagination of anyone watching.
"Che. Troublesome," was the slow drawl he received as response.
Dire Hearts volume 1:
Thirteen Mistakes of a Sinner
His first mistake had been to lose touch with him. He acknowledged that fact. He should have made some form of an effort. Ever since the days when they were pygmy kids with big dreams and even bigger stupidity. From the get-go, it had been the three of them- Sakura, Naruto and him. They grew up together, and- though it had been reluctant on his part- they grew up to become some semblance of friends, of a family. It was all fine and dandy, being little kids sprawled in the eternally green lush grass, staring up at puffy clouds freckling the blue sky, promising to stay together forever… of course such nonsense was never uttered by him, but he would stare at the clouds as Naruto rambunctiously mumbled about growing up together, becoming influential members of society, bringing justice to the world, healing it from all pain and saving lives. Sakura would smile fondly and listen, and occasionally half-heartedly whisper something about Naruto being an idiot when he got too excited. It was probably the only time she wasn't hitting Naruto and scolding him for being dumb. But kids grow up. Kids grow apart.
Naruto left home. They were supposed to be best friends, yet Naruto didn't even bother telling him about applying to med school. That fateful spring it seemed like he had finally opened his eyes after a long slumber. Had he really been so oblivious to Naruto's growth?
The bowls of ramen had cooled off long ago, but neither bothered touching it, too enthralled by the activity around the stand. It was surprisingly busy this cool evening. The peaceful Konoha was blanketed comfortably in snow.
"So you're leaving?" he choked out, his face was deadpanned. His obsidian eyes blazed, but he contained himself. Sasuke Uchiha after all never lost his composure.
The blonde young man had been fiddling with a loose thread on the hem of his shirt. His lean tan fingers wrapped around it nervously. His larynx was caught in a draught. For once in his life, Naruto Uzumaki was speechless.
"Y-you knew this was my dream," he croaked uneasily.
"When are you leaving?" Sasuke asked after a moment of awkward pause, finding his hands extremely fascinating.
"Soon. I've worked hard you know Sasuke… I devoted my life to get into med school… I deserve it…" It almost sounded like a plea, and for some odd reason that panged Sasuke's heart. He was trying to convince his best friend that he did the right thing, yet somehow his voice came out saturated with guilt.
"Hn," was the curt reply as Sasuke reluctantly took a spoonful of the cold soggy noodles.
"Were you even planning on telling me? If I haven't found that letter, would you have even told me?" he asked as his heart wrench, though no emotion marred his perfect stoic expression.
Naruto, for the first time that evening, looked up at Sasuke.
"This village can't contain my soul," he whispered softly, his sapphire eyes gleaming with determination. Naruto was looking at him, but Sasuke knew that he couldn't see him; he was a million miles away. Silently, the ivory-skinned young man knew he spoke the truth. Somehow he knew that Naruto was meant for greater things than what Konoha had to offer.
When did he mature so much? When had this life become so insufficient for Naruto?
Sasuke had enshroud those emotions for so long, but the truth was he blamed Naruto for abandoning him, for leaving him to rot in this village, for lying to him, for misleading him with all those eloquent promises. For months, Sasuke ignored his phone calls and e-mails. He was adamant about erasing his existence from Earth. Sometimes, his face would haunt his memories, remind him of the good old eyes, of everything they were supposed to be, all that untapped potential that was left to flounder. Eventually, Naruto stopped trying.
His second mistake had been to keep it a secret from Naruto. He could have called, caught up, shared this life-altering news with him. But the truth was, he was afraid of how Naruto would react- not that he'll ever admit it. He wasn't even aware that he had come back home. He figured their paths were never to cross again, and he was perfectly satisfied mourning the loss of a fucked-up, but very real friendship. The recipe was simple: never talk about it, don't let your emotions show, don't mention his name, erase, forget, rinse and repeat. He should have known that fate, in all its blissfulness, was a bitch.
He didn't know why he showed up here, at the party. Sasuke had a pretty good idea that he might be here as well… He could have politely declined- or well, he didn't really give a damn about 'polite'- he could have blatantly refused, but Kiba has insisted that this was all in his honour anyways, and it would be rude not to show up.
Perhaps he could discreetly silk into the crowd and go unnoticed… His third mistake had been to drive to the ravine in his black ostentatious Porsche. He winced seeing all the eyes rivet towards him. "Oh what a brilliant plot to go unnoticed Waldo," he thought acidly.
As he stepped out of the car, the draft of suffocating heat engulfed him disagreeably. The crickets croaked wildly as nighttime settled onto the usually quiet town. The music was deafening and it made his lungs jump to his throat. The crowd of nameless, faceless dizzying mass of human bodies swayed to the beat, melting into one being.
"Oi! S-Sas'ke!" growled a familiar voice. "Congrats man!"
Sure enough, Sasuke soon spotted the slightly inebriated form of a shirtless, pantless (but fortunately he was still sporting underwear) form of Kiba.
"Dija know Naru's back? Naru's back! He's bein' a bitch though, but don't mind him! Oh! Go say 'ello! Look! See that fugly red car? The blond stud? That's Naru!" Kiba excitedly yelled over the music, as the jumbled incoherent stream of thought struggled to get out of his mouth. He had already latched his arm in an iron grip around a slightly destabilized Sasuke.
"Y'know Sas'ke, before Naru was some puny shit, but now! Vavoom! Like what disease didja catch? He's a sex bomb!" he laughed profusely, steering a very unwilling Sasuke through the crowd.
"Really Kiba, this isn't necessary… I'll go see him later on. Let me go Inuzuka!" he thundered, trying desperately to get the leech off of him. His livid porcelain face remained aloof, as he struggled with the man beside him. Panic now crept into his heart where numbness had previously resided. Dread was gripping him as they approached the blonde figure.
His fourth mistake had been to come at all to this stupid event.
Sasuke shielded his onyx eyes and sighed heavily.
"Well lookie here, the boy's alive," greeted a pseudo-enthusiastic and very familiar voice that made a chord in Sasuke's heart strum painfully.
He opened his eyes, and sure enough there he was with that same puerile grin unwavering on his chiseled features, his sun-kissed chest was freed from the imprisonment of a constricting shirt, and was lathered in sweat droplets from the torrid weather. A part of Sasuke had hoped to see the same 17-year-old boy again…but six years changes people. Sasuke changed… So why was a part of him- granted a very small part- saddened to discover that so had Naruto. Sasuke's eyes riveted to the evident six-pack adorning his abdomen and the obvious pelvic bones showing from his low-rise tight jeans.
"Why so slutty, Uzumaki?" Sasuke coldly asked in a clipped tone. A fleeting flicker of hurt marred those beautiful crystalline eyes for only a second, though the midnight-haired man would certainly never apologize.
"And conceal all this sexiness? That should be a sin!" Naruto laughed, scratching the back of his head in that same sheepish manner… maybe some things had stayed the same?
His fifth mistake was, after all this time, to be still furious at the blonde before him. Why was it so hard to let go?
"We'll leave you two be… Oh and congratulations Uchiha," Shikamaru huffed with much sloth, pushing a flailing Kiba along with him who was happily babbling incoherently about a sexiness disease that made puny shit sexy. He lazily acknowledgement the onyx-haired Uchiha with a nod, before letting the night engulf his body.
"Why are you here, Uzumaki?" the alabaster tinted man asked, exasperation evident in his voice. He didn't drop the family name, and it was starting to irritate Naruto.
"Why didn't you tell me Sasuke?" Naruto tried to veil the hurt from his voice and stop his heart from wrenching, but so far he was failing miserably.
"Do you always answer a question with yet another question?"
"Are you still mad at me?" Naruto asked, exhaling heavily, fumbling a letter and a can of beer in his hands. The motion caught the attention of the curious obsidian eyes.
"What's in that letter?" Sasuke asked, sitting beside Naruto on the hood of the decrepit car. His instincts told him to run fiercely, to put a planet's distance between their bodies. Yet for some odd reason, Sasuke remained there, staring at the letter.
"Words," was Naruto's curt reply.
"What kind of words?" Sasuke asked, rolling his eyes.
"Written ones," the whiskered man smirked smugly.
"You know Naruto, you should join a monastery and take a vow of silence, because everything that comes out of your mouth is completely asinine."
"Shut up bastard!" Naruto angrily barked, inwardly cringing at how lame his comeback had been.
"Smooth Naruto, real smooth. This is the guy who is allowed to hold a scalpel and slice people open?" he commented impassively, snatching a warm beer can from the tan hands and emptying it. He grimaced at the revolting liquid cascaded down is esophagus.
"Give me another can," he ordered and Naruto wordlessly obeyed, watching the bodies mould together.
His sixth mistake was to drink four cans of cheap tepid alcohol.
Eventually a passably comfortable silence nestled in between the estranged friends.
"What happened to us Sasuke?" whispered the blonde-haired man with dazed eyes.
"Life happened," he mumbled, taking another swig of beer- the bitter taste growing on him.
"You want me to leave?" Naruto asked in a small voice, digressing subjects.
"Yes," it was a weak answer, but even over the blaring music, Naruto's keen ears caught it.
"You wish I would disappear?" he mumbled frailly. He didn't dare raise his voice, somehow illogically afraid to break this enchantment.
"Yes," Sasuke clasped his eyes shut. Don't look at him. Just don't look at him…
"Do you hate me, Sasuke?" Naruto whispered, his breath caught in his larynx. A heavy silence laden with nostalgia saturated the air about them. Naruto didn't dare breathe, his blue eyes dazzled by his friend's plush lips.
"No," his answer lingered in the muggy night.
His seventh mistake was to be so honest.
He should have said yes. He should have told him to fuck off, to leave. But Naruto was here. After six fucking excruciatingly long years. He had grown, he had changed, yet he was still so fundamentally the same. Naruto was his addiction, a bad itch he was never able to get rid of. Why did his chest constrict so painfully after seeing that feral smile of his once best friend's lips?
Naruto stared off into the crowd of clashing lips, eager hands with desultory thoughts giving him a mental turmoil.
"Do you love her? Sakura?" It wasn't an accusing question, it was a gentle one, a curious one- something a friend asks another when catching up.
Sasuke was captivated by the midnight sky jeweled with lambent specks. Long ago, he would gullibly wish upon these tiny freckled adorning the endless sky, hoping that someone in the universe would hear his tearful pleas.
"You were once ready to kill for her," Naruto stated softly, his mind wandering to eons ago.
"And I once recall almost dying for you," he blurted out unconsciously. His eighth mistake. Sasuke didn't know why he said it. He must have been suffering from verbal diarrhea, or it must have been something in the beer. Whatever it was, Sasuke deeply and profoundly regretted it.
"Is that a confession?" Naruto asked, a foxy grin impishly plastered on his face.
"You're an idiot," Sasuke muttered, turning away, his nose in the air, trying desperately to salvage his bruised ego.
"I went to pursue my dream… Why is that so unreasonable?" the flaxen-haired man inquired, his voice cracking slightly. He was strong. He never once cracked during six years of oblivion… He sure as hell wouldn't crack now.
"You didn't even tell me. I had to find out!" Sasuke bit out harshly, biting his lower-lip to contain his emotions from flooding over like a Tsunami. He was strong. He won't fall. Not now. Not in front of him.
You left me. You abandoned me. You broke your promise. We were to stick together. Forever. We were to save the world. Together. You lied. You lied…
"I-I w-was going to… And you didn't return my letters or phone calls! I left, and it was like I never existed in your life… Was our brotherhood so meaningless to you?" he asked on a painfully hollow octave. His vibrant blue eyes dimmed with the weight of betrayal, with the weight of it all.
No. Never. You never stopped mattering. Not for a second. I missed you.
"Yes, it was," the words held no emotion. His remote face was as cold as stone. He felt nothing; his heart was numb… than why did his mind was screaming at him to take back his words? Why did his heart skip a beat when he saw Naruto slump, saw his feral features soften into submission?
"You didn't tell me about tomorrow… Sasuke it's not fair. I'm sorry I didn't deal with it better, but I had by reasons damn it! You of all people should understand! I'm not sorry that I left! It was selfish of me, but you would have done the same if opportunity knocked. It's not fair to condemn me like this! It's not fucking fair Sasuke!" Naruto growled in fury, fisting his can in violent intensity, making the aluminum dent and distort. He hurled the can furiously, desperately trying to keep the hot tears of ire at bay.
I'm not sorry I left…It was all that Sasuke could hear, cruelly droning in his mind over and over again like a litany.
I'm not sorry I left.
I'm not sorry I left you.
I'm not sorry I abandoned you.
I'm not sorry I lied and made you hopelessly believe in a better future.
"J-Just leave Naruto," it was a weak plea, but even as he said it, he couldn't look into those shining eyes to see that they lost their glint, because of him. He wouldn't be responsible for that.
"Do you really want me to leave Sas'ke?" he asked in what seemed like a drunken drawl, for he leaned in real close to the ivory man glistening in contrast with the obscure midnight light. Sasuke could almost whiff his breath mingled with alcohol, and he would have found it really repulsive if he weren't in his own alcoholic stupor.
"Say the word," his blonde friend whispered, inching closer, their noses almost touching.
Sasuke froze, his heart beating wildly about to rip right through his ribcage. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't real. He must be dreaming, he must! Six years of nothing, six long years… and now all of a sudden the boy that had haunted his dreams had materialized into flesh? Was here taunting him with his pleading sapphire eyes and sweet words? Though his calm, impassive nature never shed an evidence of his internal disarray… except for the fact that his face tinged pink.
"B-Back off," Sasuke stuttered, pushing his drunken friend off of the car with a little more force than necessary. His ninth mistake.
Naruto's eyes widened as he was unceremoniously dumped on the blanket of dirt. He winced at the harsh impact. He looked up at the Uchiha bastard, and amalgamation of hurt and anger flashing in those azure eyes.
"Got the message loud and clear," Naruto spitefully retorted. He stumbled himself to stand, dusting his tight black pants that uncomfortably stuck to him like a second pair of skin in this impossible sultriness. He tottered awkwardly towards the herd of aching bodies and pounding music.
Don't leave me again.
But Sasuke didn't say anything. He just turned his head away haughtily, thrusting his nose in the air. He needed more beer, he thought dreadfully.
"Sasuke! Congrats!" squealed a shrilly voice that shouldn't be humanly possible.
He turned around just in time to see a blur of green smash into him, and if he weren't so smashed himself, he would have probably been able to withstand the impact instead of toppling over ungracefully with green spandex draped over him, crushing his lungs.
"Lee, get off me," the pale young man growled fiercely, shoving the body off of him. He breathed harshly, getting up and rubbing his throbbing head.
"Congratulations Sas'ke!" Lee yelled enthusiastically, a face-splitting blinding teeth-exposing smile etched on his face. His cheeks were freckled with two red blotches.
"Hn," he answered curtly, massaging his aching forehead.
"NARU'S HERE! NARU'S HERE! It's been what two years?"
"It has been six years since Uzumaki left."
"Oh! You've been counting huh Sas'ke! You missed him with all your youthfulness!"
"I wasn't counting," Sasuke replied in a small voice, a tinge of pink coloring his livid features.
"Naru's in the springtime of his youth. Doesn't he look gggreat?"
"He looks… different."
Different. Yes, different. There Naruto was, his eyes closed, his head thrown back as he rhythmically jammed his pelvis into a barely clothed young woman. The music throbbed in the air, and Naruto grinded into her enjoyably. Her face flushed, as she parted her lips, gasping something that was lost in the frantic music. His muscles rippled in the lambent moonlight, and the feverish air. And all Sasuke could do was watch.
He didn't know how it happened. Something- some type of monster possessed him. His chest puffed and flared with rage upon seeing his once best friend moan out at his pelvic thrust. Like a swan, he glided into the crowd, inching nearer and neared to the blonde man. The sapphire eyes snapped opened, dilated with lust, and glazed with need. They were staring right into his onyx eyes. He continued the frivolous motion with the girl, bouncing her back and forth to the music. But Sasuke knew that all Naruto could see was him, and it made his heart skip a beat.
"Like what you see?" he asked huskily, causing Sasuke's breath to get caught in his throat as he lost himself into those pools of cerulean.
He didn't know when the girl had disappeared, or when his own body was slammed into the naked tan chest. He didn't realize when Naruto's arousal pounded into his clothed ass, rubbing longingly. Sasuke gasped at the contact, and the blonde gave another pelvic thrust, his tan fingers firm on Sasuke's narrow hips keeping him in place.
"I'm so horny Sasuke," he drawled out breathlessly in the pale ear, brushing the strands of midnight hair out of the way. "My place."
-E D I T –T E N T H- M I S T A K E (FOR THE UNCUT VERSION- check my profile)-
It was soft… and warm. It was soft and warm. Sasuke sighed happily. It had been eons since he had felt suck inviting homely warmth.
Golden bars filtered shyly through the dark curtains, but if you asked Sasuke, it felt like the violence of the light was blinding him through closed lids. He winced, trying desperately to block the light. Was it so fucking hard to close the curtains? He tried turning but was met with a block of warm firmness. It was at this point that the alarm bells were ringing frantically in his dazed mind. Something was off. Something was indeed quite right, but the midnight haired young man didn't know if he wanted to find out and disrupt this peace. Reluctantly, he fluttered his bloodshot eyes open as desultory thoughts disarrayed in his mind. A bed. Not his bed. A body next to his. A male body next to his. Naked male body next to his. Naked male body with blonde hair… oh fuck.
"What time is it?" Sasuke croaked, wincing at the sound of his battered voice.
The body next to him shuffled at the sound. Blue bloodshot eyes opened hesitantly. There was a silence thick with incomprehension that followed, as the two occupants of the bed continued to stare at each other. Azure eyes cleared when something dawned upon him.
"Sas'ke?" he croaked uncertainly, not sure whether he was dreaming or awake.
"What is the fucking time?" Sasuke thundered impatiently.
"Ah turn it down will ya?" Naruto groaned as he rolled over to stare at the clock with flamboyant red numbers. "One, why?"
"I'm fucking late!" Sasuke cried out desperately, throwing the bedcovers in fury.
He felt like shit. His throat was dry, his ass was on fire and he felt a terrible migraine raging on. He was late. He was late because he was in his best friend's bed naked with him.
"Y-you're still going?" Naruto choked out, with a fleeting pang of hurt glistening his eyes for only a second.
"Make no mistake Uzumaki, just because I warmed your bed one night does not mean I have any attachment to you," Sasuke growled, refusing to look at Naruto as he hurriedly shoved his pants on.
"Right," he mumbled weakly, not up for having a fight. But this silent submission didn't bode well with Sasuke. He was late, he was late because of Naruto! Because he came back! Because he messed up his mind! Sasuke's cold pitch black eyes glared mercilessly into soft blue ones. This dire need for provocation consumed Sasuke, as he clicked his scything tongue.
"Or do you not care about Sa-"
Naruto's tender azure eyes flared with anger.
"Shut the fuck up Uchiha! You know damn well that I care! I don't want you to hurt her. Fuck, I would rather have you dead than have you next to her. If it were up to me, she and I would be-"
"You left. You made your choice," the Uchiha answered coolly, zipping his pants.
"As if that would have changed the outcome! Sakura always chose you!" Naruto looked away- it hurt to admit defeat. He plastered a melancholic smile on his face, "I'm happy for you. Really," he spoke softly, all vigor had evanesced, only to be replaced with weak submission- and Sasuke loathed it. Naruto was not the victim in this whole affair. Everything was his fucking fault!
"Shut up!" the pale young man boomed spitefully.
"Why are you such a cold prick?" The words were harsh, yet Naruto uttered them on such an utterly heart-wrenching octave that it caused Sasuke's heart to strum painfully. Those sad eyes were piercing a hole in Sasuk'e feeble being.
"YOU LEFT! SIX YEARS! And you expect me to welcome you with open arms?" The midnight-haired man asked. He looked so damn vulnerable, so damn lost and helpless. He was hurting.
"I-I needed to leave damn it! You ignored me! Sometimes people need to find their own place in the world! Sometimes people have to pack up and leave to find themselves! Why did you ruin our friendship for that?" Naruto asked, pleading weakly. Sasuke couldn't bear to look into those sad cerulean eyes that once were so vivacious and see the pain he inflicted there.
"Because you're a selfish bastard," the voice was barely above a whisper. Sasuke looked away. He was so tired of arguing.
"Was it really so unforgivable of me to pursue my dream? Do you really think I'm the selfish one here? Would it be fair if I tried to tie you down and stop you from reaching your goals?"
"Leave Naruto. Just leave. I'm running late," Sasuke murmured, refusing to look at Naruto. Six years is a long time. Six years should have been enough to mend his heart. He had moved on. He didn't care anymore. He got over it. So why oh why was it hurting so damn fucking much?
Naruto wanted to do so many things. There was so much left unsaid. He wanted to spill his heart. He wanted to stay here forever. He wanted to be the one who brought a smile to Sasuke's lips. He wanted to be forgiven. He wanted to go back and erase his mistakes. He longed to reach the man before him. He yearned to touch him, to comfort him. But Sasuke was so far away. All he could do was stare helplessly, and suffer silently with the burden of unspoken words.
"Alright. Farewell Sasuke," he said dejectedly, gathering his things as he got off the bed.
It was as though Sasuke had gotten slapped in the face.
Farewell? No, no… don't leave me again.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sasuke growled, confusion disarraying every last bit of coherent thought, as dread seeped in every pore.
"The letter…" Naruto waved the letter he had been fumbling with previously, " the job I applied for… I got a-accepted."
No. Not again…please
"Where?" Sasuke asked calmly, though inside his guts were churning painfully.
"Sasuke," Naruto pleaded. He was so damn tired. So very, very tired. Suddenly, it seemed to Sasuke that in the span of a few seconds Naruto aged considerably. Those beautiful, soft sad eyes were breaking Sasuke's heart all over again.
"Where?" thundered grievously Sasuke. His hands were trembling and his face was taut with rage.
Silence. And then understanding dawned upon him. He wanted to laugh caustically. He was a fool. A poor pathetic fool. He was a fool to have even held an iota of hope that he could spare his heart the agony, that he was immune to Naruto. The hurt, the confusion, the agony consumed his soul. It was excruciating.
"I see, not here. You're leaving again," the raven's eyes hardened as his voice became robotic. The words were spewed emotionlessly, though inside he was perishing.
"This village can't contain my soul," was the frail reply that escaped the lips of the man with the sorrowful eyes.
"This is you home!" Sasuke lamented, clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white.
"Come off it Sasuke! I don't belong here. I never did. You just told me to leave!" the blonde cried out desperately, trying to keep the tears of fury at bay.
"So you just came here because you were horny." It wasn't a question. It was a scything statement spoken with utter spitefulness that cut deep incisions in Naruto's core.
"Sasuke, we made love, we-"
"No! No. We fucked, Naruto. I was drunk and you took advantage of me. For once in your life, you're right. You never belonged here. Never." Sasuke's eyes were murderous, as his face contorted with rage.
Naruto was an idiot for foolishly hoping that things would rectify themselves. Nothing has turned out how he wanted it. He should have known it was useless to come back, to try to fix things. It was dumb, and foolish. He was so very, very tired. He should have let go long time ago. But he couldn't. He was a pathetic prisoner of a past he couldn't let go of…
"For what it's worth Sasuke, last night was special for me. Congratulations. Be happy, Ok? Farewell," he said softly, that melancholic smile gracing his lips as he tried to not breakdown.
Don't walk out.
Don't leave me.
Don't abandon me again.
"You're just a whore," Sasuke spat acidly.
Naruto wanted to vomit upon seeing the utter disgust saturating those once loving onyx eyes. He picked up his clothes, and he couldn't help but feel so dirty and impure.
"I never mattered to you, did I?" he asked softly. He was breaking. He was falling. He was lost. He didn't belong here anymore.
Yes. Yes you did. You were the light of my life. You still are!
"No," Sasuke's alienated voice sounded so foreign to him. This was his defense mechanism. He got too close. He got burned. Mow he must build a wall to protect his frail heart, to protect himself from silly little devastating emotions… to shield himself from Naruto. Naruto was no longer welcome in this village, no longer welcome in Sasuke's heart.
"Then why did you become my friend?"
Because you were the sunshine I needed to light up my life, to brighten my days damn it!
"I never was," the voice was cold, detached, aloof and it made Naruto's heart wrench.
"Was it out of pity?"
"Yes. You were nothing. You still are." It was maddening, this urge to hurt the one he loved the most. It was his punishment for hoping. It was his method of self-destructing.
No… that's not true… you're a doctor… you save lives, you change lives…
Naruto clasped his eyes shut. He had to ask the question burning at the tip of his tongue, if he ever hoped to be free from this Hell, if he ever hoped to move on… He had to know…
"Do you hate me Sasuke?" Naruto asked, like some pathetic weak puppy ready to be kicked.
"With every cell in my body," Sasuke shot out acidly, hatred glistening in those unfamiliar cold ebony eyes. His face contorted with such revulsion that Naruto had to look away. He nodded, ashamed of the salty tears marring his face. He refused to cry in fron of this… stranger. Suddenly, he felt so empty. Suddenly, he knew he must escape. Suddenly, he was suffocating with agony.
His eleventh mistake was lying so profusely.
Every inch of him yearned to scream out, to say something. Anything! But Sasuke remained frozen and numb.
And just like that, Sasuke watched Naruto walk out of the apartment, out of his life. A warm tear stained the floor of the abandoned apartment.
Sasuke's twelfth mistake was being late.
His last and thirteenth mistake was limping to the altar with disheveled hair and hickeys littering his neck as his stunned pink-haired bride-to-be stared.
End. Of. Volume. I
First time writing lemon. Gah.
Ok, do you all get that Sasuke and Sakura are getting married? Naruto came to town and learns that Sasuke, his once best friend who stopped contacting him after he left, is getting married to his childhood crush, Sakura. I suggest you re-read this, because now you will understand everything.
Reviews are love. Constructive criticism is gold. Spot errors? Let me know, loves.
I know I wrote "volume 1", but I don't know if I should write a series of independent one-shots with the same title and theme… or sequels?