Okay…I caved. I really wanted to know what was on Edward's mind while they were grinding against each other so passionately too. You naughty people!
Edward thinks about three extra pages apparently. Stephanie was right! Who knew?
If you enjoy it…let me know. I'm going out on a limb here trying to think from the "masculine perspective". Eric is at work…and I am going to release this without beta. Now…that being said, if you find anything wrong and you remember it by the end please bring it to my attention so I can fix it. It's really hard to learn from this process when you don't know what you're doing wrong.
I don't own Twilight! But I would like to borrow Edward…PWEEASE! No? Okay. Well, just for five seconds. Long enough for him to analyze the hell out of their relationship and have sex.
Here we go!
When I lay down on Bella's bed against the headboard I was immersed in the thoughts of the afternoon. Bella's mother, who was staying at the hotel in the airport in Port Angeles, had been thinking non-stop about the plane tickets she had bought her so they could leave town together tomorrow. Plane tickets! My Bella was going to leave me at the altar…and looking back I could hardly blame her. I had been an insensitive mate and lover…at first denying her at every turn. Now I had courted her passion non-stop and she was holding back because she knew it was what I wanted. I had blown hot and cold at her for our entire relationship. I had so little control at first. She wanted intimacy and I wanted it too…but not at the cost of her life. At the same time she wanted to give that up anyway to be with me immortally. Lately I had been so caught up in my own love, my own desire, that I had been tempting her restraint and looking back…it was cruel.
I listened to her soft humming in the shower. I didn't know what to say to her tonight that would make her stay. I needed her…like air. Well…not like air. I didn't need air. However saying I needed her like blood was kind of macabre, and very unromantic. I could only imagine what she looked like now under the spray of water. Her head thrown back and her fingers sliding through the mane of hair that fell brown and warm about her shoulders. If I was going to be without her forever due once again to my own stupidity maybe I could afford to be equally stupid and give myself our physical connection. She would feel so warm and I already knew that her resolve would crumble if I really pressed her to make love to me. She would never have the level of restraint to hold back, but how much of that would simply be me "dazzling" her and how much would be what she wanted? Was that rape? I sank further against the pillows and scowled at the thought of taking her against her will. What kind of monster would do that?
Now I was miserable, sexually frustrated, and apparently to top that off I was some kind of deviant. The water had turned off and I heard Bella brushing her teeth. No, if I couldn't convince her to stay with me this evening, I would have to suffer my eternity longing for her body. I would never force myself on such a sweet creature. The room door opened to my love in her usual night attire. I found it strangely alluring that she wore something as simple as a tank top and sweats to bed with me. She was herself completely in my arms. She wasn't pretending to be someone or something else. She always said she thought herself plain. I knew she was exquisite. In fact, I always thought it left a lot of room for my imagination to work. What did she have on beneath the fabric I could see? Perhaps it was part of my upbringing, but the illusion of sensuality was worth much more in my mind than the blatant display of it. Right now I could picture the soft pale skin of her stomach and although I was still terrified that Bella was going to leave me, I was filled with longing to stay with her forever. To always be given the joy of wondering what was there if I just peeled off her clothes.
She was wandering around the room in a trance, and she had not so much as acknowledged my presence. Oh! The feeling of pain that brought to me was throbbing. Was she even now cutting ties to my miserable existence? I began to speak when the pain became intense and sharp. "Can I at least hear a little of what you are thinking? It will make me feel a little less like pulling all of my hair out. I love you…and it's like this is torturing you." Perhaps I could appeal to whatever feelings she had left for me now that she was leaving.
It took a lot for me to continue, but I did. "I was talking to Jasper earlier today…and when we discussed your feelings I insisted upon him replicating your emotions. When I felt how much fear you had…how much pain I was causing you. Please don't do this to yourself. Alice can get married if she wants this so badly. I won't hold you to this nonsense any longer. I can't. I feel like you're only doing this so that I will be happy, but you fail to understand that my happiness is completely vested in yours. Please Bella!" I leapt off of the bed and grabbed onto her hands…the only lifeline I had left.
Maybe these were the words that would make her stay? I waited with anticipation to hear anything from her. I hoped the words were not damning. What she said then surprised the hell out of me. "I want this!" Bella's hart, the panicked beating threw me off because I wasn't sure if she was scared of me, scared of commitment, or scared of me finding out that she was running away from me. "Please Edward! I love you too. There are things that I want for myself…and one of those things is you! Believe in me Edward. Please…I want you and I to be together. This is a natural progression for our relationship…"
The next words were as damning to my case as they were to my feelings, "When has our relationship ever been normal? I can't hurt you anymore Bella. This is unacceptable to me." I would try to make her see reason in our compromise. Perhaps I could give up completely on my half…and it would remind her why she wanted me? "We can wait until after you are turned. If you never become comfortable being my wife then you simply won't have to. I made a ridiculous demand. You have already promised me your life, your eternal love, and I apologize for filling your days with so much dread for the sake of a ritual." I placed my forehead against her own and huddled her close to me so that I could calm my feelings of abandonment.
"Edward…please look at me?" Bella lifted my face to stare into her gorgeous eyes. I stole myself against what she would say. I hoped the pain wasn't too evident on my face. I schooled my face into what I hoped didn't look like pure agony waiting for her to dismiss me forever. Here it comes. "Edward. I wish I could stop feeling this way, but I can't. According to my mother it's fairly normal. I hate to disillusion you, but I'm just doing what every single woman in my family through the pages of time did before me."
She smiled at me and it was like the sun coming out, and she continued to speak. "You know the day before my mom married Phil she bought tickets to Cancun? One for her…and one for me." She held up the count of tickets between us. I felt my face reflect the sheer joy of the moment. She wasn't leaving? I couldn't speak for my feelings of elation. "See? Perfectly normal," She finished.
It was time for me to confess. "I was wondering about that…" I kissed the tips of her fingers and she looked at me in the unguarded and adorably confused manner she had. I continued, "Your mother bought plane tickets this afternoon. I thought she knew something I didn't."
When she began to laugh it was like sweet music to my ears. However she had disturbed Charlie, and something I must have said was passionate enough to reach his ears. I heard Charlie speaking clearly in his head, 'That punk better not be in her bedroom! I've never consented to this nonsense, and if he's in there I'll never give him the consent that he seems to desire…not like it's going to stop him.'
I pulled away from Bella and threw myself up over the casing and onto the rain covered roof flashing while hunching over my pants to keep them as dry as possible.
'I could have sworn, but she's just on the phone. Her mother was always loud like that. If that's the case I don't have to worry about not catching her with him. If they're alike I'll hear it if I'm dead asleep.' I was a little scandalized by Charlie's thought. Then I wished I could blush like my darling Bella. Oh, the thoughts of her shouting my name over and over as she rode over me or I pushed into her from above. Dear God! The though left me absolutely desolate with need. Charlie was discussing how proud of her he was. Mostly because she wasn't pregnant…that could never happen no matter how many times I ejaculated. I was completely barren. I could not give life…no matter how much I longed deep inside to see her stomach round with my child. I could only take life.
Charlie was speaking at length about sex and I was getting increasingly drenched. As soon as the door began to swing closed I was inside again sitting in the rocking chair and I had picked up Bella's hair towel to dry my own. It smelled just like a mix of her and her strawberry shampoo. I sat forward to keep my shirt away from the chair in case she didn't want it to get wet. I didn't worry as much about my jeans, they had stayed mostly dry.
Bella began to whisper almost immediately. "Sorry. He was feeling long winded today, and I think he's probably the sixth person today to offer me advice. I'm getting a little tired of everyone trying to figure us out. It's like they can't possibly believe that two people can get married these days without having sex before hand."
She went to get me a new shirt as her heart thundered in her chest and I stood while stripping off the wet one I was wearing already. Her heart accelerated even more in its cage like a bird flapping its wings. She took my shirt and put the wet one over the back of the chair. We both ignored her heartbeat. I got another image of myself against her as she screamed my name in passion. Stupid Charlie and his thoughts…now I had the image in my head and it wasn't going away. Bella however was busy pretending that she wasn't ready for me to take her body. "Why didn't you just go hide in the closet?"
This topic was a bit more safe than the image in my head so I went with it, "He was sure he heard me, he was going to check the closet. He changed his mind when you made your brilliant decision to feign a phone call, but I was already outside by then." She was obviously troubled by Charlie's discussion of our physical activities and I wanted to comfort her. To share my own embarrassment would certainly allow us both to calm down? "Actually, as to your earlier statement, if it makes you feel any better my whole family has been soliciting me with advice today as well."
I rolled my eyes when I thought of what had been happening all day at my home. She would appreciate my honesty right now. "Of all of them the worst has been Emmett. He has been throwing me silent guidance all day." I pointed at my head and shuddered. "I was especially excited about leaving the house to come here because I don't want to see another mental reel of positions that he thinks would be safest."
Bella ran her fingers through my wet hair and I heard the shirt she had just handed to me slide loudly to the floor. It was like an exclamation point to the image of Emmett and Rosalie spread out across their bed. I hugged her to me hoping the fire would quench itself out, but I was already painfully erect and it wasn't going to get better if I could feel her heat against me and smell her arousal. My fiancée put her head against my chest and let her fingers dance across my ribs. Sweet wonderful Bella, and all I could think about was what I could do to her right now in her room with her oblivious father just down the hall. I would love to suffer his anger right now if I could hear her scream to me in ecstasy.
"It doesn't make me feel better…" Bella interrupted my fantasy when she whispered into my chest. "I wish they wouldn't make this harder than it already has to be." I felt her shudder and she continued, "I love you, and we will do this right."
I couldn't help but laugh a bit at her comment. It was like we'd swapped roles. I was courting her body at every opportunity, and she was denying me instead. Deep inside I knew that between the both of us we were hopelessly lost. She was even further down the road than I was because she didn't have a century of time to learn patience. "Every time you say that I know you're saying it to yourself more than me."
"Is that so?" Her voice sounded troubled. I would need to be as gentle as I could, but she needed to understand the perspective of Carlisle and Esme. They wanted for us to be happy, but they were afraid of what I could accidentally do to her while we made love.
"They are worried…my family, and yours. Although they have vastly different reasons for their fears, and it shows how much they care. I'm not saying it isn't driving me mad as well…but if they think they're helping I can hardly get bent out of shape about it." She gave an almost nod of understanding…but I was horribly distracted now, almost too much to speak at all.
Her lips brushed over my chest and I said her name, "Bella!" in a gasped whisper. I could never have been ready for what she was going to do next though as her teeth bit my nipple. The woman had no idea how erotic the bite had been. Glancing and yet just hard enough for me to feel an endless fire start in the pit of my stomach. I had her held against the wall before she could do it again.
"God Bella!" I was sure she could have no idea how significant a bite was to a vampire couple. The ultimate trust…because we could still be hurt by each other's venom. She was willing and I felt the shivers of pleasure as I put my hands on her curves. I had to taste her skin…to be with her now. I hid my face in her still wet hair and ran my tongue over her earlobe while she groaned in anticipation. This human woman somehow seemed to know already how to be my mate…to bring me pleasure as the monster I had become. I wanted her body very, very badly. "Bella…ask me, please ask me again."
As the words escaped my mouth I wondered if I had gone too far with my love. She looked confused for only a second before she seemed to understand my question. I continued to draw in breath but every fiber of my being was waiting to breath again until she told me I could have her. "No…I can't." I immediately pulled away from her body to keep me from losing control again. It would be too easy to dazzle her into getting what I wanted and so I cast my eyes to the floor. She continued to speak, validating herself to me despite the fact that I didn't need her to ever explain herself. "I didn't say I didn't want to. I just said I can't." I watched as she crumpled to the floor and began to weep with frustration. I was a monster indeed.
"Oh, please don't cry." I immediately stood over my Bella and felt her tears with my fingers bathing them in her frustrations. "I'm sorry…I know. I feel the same way. I'm so sorry, that was out of line. Alice warned me that I should leave you alone tonight. I should have listened to her." Alice had in fact told me to be gentle with Bella tonight, but she hadn't told me what a wreck I was making her. She had blocked me out of her head. In fact, I had believed that my psychic sister had thought I would be angry with my fiancée when she broke our engagement and I was afraid myself at what that portended. Now I understood that I had brought her mountains of sexual frustration in my own desire. She had tried to warn me, but I hadn't listened very well had I?
Immediately I flew into damage control. Sleep would definitely help her now. I lifted my love quickly to her bed and placed her under the covers while I lay above them. I knew that she needed comfort, so I began to hum her lullaby as sweetly as I could. She didn't deserve this level of torment. I would understand if she were mad at me now for neglecting her feelings once again.
She sat up again and turned off the lamp, something she usually left for me to do because it leads me to lean across her body. She loved that generally, but I could see why she wouldn't want that right now from such an insensitive cad. Soon after she hit the play button on the CD player turning up the volume a bit more than was normal for someone who would be sleeping. The song that was pouring from the speaker was of my own invention, but it hurt that Bella would attempt to drown me out. At the same time I really couldn't blame her.
"Bella…please don't be angry." I was prepared to console her again when she threw her tank top over her head and onto the floor. I couldn't move a muscle, my body went immediately tense as I watched the milky skin of her chest and her beautiful pink nipples press against my naked chest. She was warm and soft and the curves of her body made me feel something I couldn't name. In fact I was finding it impossible to talk at all. "I don't…"
She kissed me with full passion and I somehow kept myself in check long enough not to open up and tangle my tongue in her mouth. Still I had to stop her if she was only doing this to bring me pleasure. "Please…you don't have to do this. I was wrong for suggesting such a thing." Was I? Her body felt so incredible pressed into my own, and she smelled absolutely divine. She stopped me before I could continue stopping her.
"Shhh…I'm not going to remove any more clothes. I just can't stand these pent up emotions any longer. You've been so patient." Her voice was shaking, but she sounded so confident at the same time. My beautiful soon to be wife was saving me from myself again. Was this the thing that we'd needed from each other lately? To stop pretending we didn't want to make love? My hands roamed over her spine "I've been so patient." She continued, and I felt her kiss the line of my collarbone as I imagined her teeth biting me here too and I shuddered. "We have to relieve this tension. It's tearing us apart." I didn't want to agree that something so physical and animalistic could tear us apart, but Bella was right. We were literally torturing ourselves. She placed one of her hands on my jaw and let the other draw a line between us. Her hands brushed the distended peak of my nipple once more and I groaned in joy at having her body so pliant and close. Mine.
I decided that I would watch her face to see if I was bringing her pleasure, and I was almost shocked to find her eyes were locked to mine as well. Was she waiting for me to stop her? Were her eyes really filled with that much longing? Or was that a feeling of obligation? As if she could hear my thoughts she slid down and took my nipple into her mouth again teeth and tongue laving it causing a groan. I had to return the favor.
My love was so supple. My hands traveled to brush against her breasts, and Bella gasped as my cold hands cupped her pert chest, and I had to taste her against my tongue again. I pulled her shivering body up to my mouth and began the task of pleasuring my beautiful mate. I had to suppress the urge to bite her. To take her in a way that she wasn't ready for…that I wasn't ready for.
Her back arched and her lips parted into a most alluring circle. My human father had once told me that my job as a man was to provide for my family and to raise my children into good men. He had completely skipped over the part where I should pleasure my wife. At the time, it had been one sided. Men were supposed to be pleasured and women's pleasures were ignored. Many marriages had been arranged and if a woman was caught giving herself pleasure she could be locked up or placed in a convent for being evil. Oh, how I thanked Carlisle now for the chance to meet my love in this time. To get the opportunity to have her breath panting against my flesh and her body, responding to my hands and mouth. Truly I was blessed despite the nature of what I was.
I had to tell her somehow, "Bella…you're so beautiful. Just as I imagined." I let my fingers wander again over more of her alluring flesh. "I can't wait to see all of you, to feel all of you." It was true. I couldn't resist the idea of stripping her clothes from her body and burying myself so deeply inside of her that I received a moan with every thrust of my hips. It prompted me to imagine how hot it would be in her slick folds. My voice was shaking with the idea of it, but I wasn't sure she could hear. "You're so warm." I nearly lost control and I felt a small whine of panic as my teeth grazed the skin on her stomach and she whimpered. I had not cut her flesh though, and no blood soiled our delicate balance. To make it up to her I let my tongue lave the offended skin and down to her stomach and the well of her belly button. She clutched at the sheets and I felt deep pride at what I could do to her.
"Edward." Her voice was throaty and filled with desire. Oh God! This is exactly what I had hoped to hear from her. My name, said in thready whimpers. She was pushing the boundary of what was safe for me. My fantasies were nothing compared to this reality. Once again I was nearly undone. She grabbed my shoulders and we rolled so that she was on top. I had to get her in control before I lost mine completely. I took quick breaths so that I could smell the heat of her arousal and I looked up at her with hooded eyes that literally popped open when she rocked against my erection with her heated core. I immediately tried to concentrate on holding my hands in the sheets as I hissed in unrestrained pleasure.
'Oh love…' I thought only of her. My thoughts descended once again into a very dangerous place, but never once did I imagine blood on my lips. It was only her warmth radiating despite two layers of clothing, and how I could remove them and be done with our mutual frustration. I needed to keep my hands busy, but I couldn't seem to control their destination as I found them on her hips driving her warmth down onto my distended member. The pleasure was rippling through me, and I could see the same on her face, but I still had to keep my hands clamped over her hips to keep them from ripping free her clothes and driving into her body. I looked, desperate, into her eyes to continue this friction, and she answered me aloud as if she were the mind reader, "Please…yes…"
We may not be able to truly divest ourselves of our purity…but this was the next best thing and I saw that she agreed with me. Her hips undulated against me as the coils of the bed we were on squeaked and groaned, and I felt tension building between my legs becoming more intense with each second. Certainly I could wait for her to complete first? Her thrusting made her beautiful breasts heave and I watched them bounce as if I were in a trance. She was gorgeous! The tips of her nipples were hard and I focused on the point where they would bounce against her exertions. Finally she groaned and I felt her whole body ripple with pleasure. I had to close my eyes and throw my head back against my desire to thrust harder against her and come to completion. My masculine pride insisted that I should wait for her to orgasm first before I would allow myself the relief. I was so tense that I grasped her hips too hard and she screamed out the word, "Gently!" Her eyes went wide and she clasped her hands over her mouth. Had I hurt her badly? Had I broken her hips? No, she continued to move and then to moan. What a woman!
"Sorry love…" I uttered the words as I moved my hands to the naked skin of her waist while I pulled the sides of her pants down so that I could hold the skin on my lover's hips. Bella was using the muscles on my stomach to get extra leverage for her thrusting and I continued to watch her beautiful body ride against my own. I was almost lost with the idea that I would come before her when her breath hitched and I felt every muscle in her body flutter. Her heart went a million miles an hour. I could smell the release of her fluids as her body shuddered. I felt a smile paint my face as I watched her first small orgasm, knowing that it was me that she wanted in her life…me that she wanted in her bed. I was enraptured by her very presence…my goddess. I hissed her name out between my needy lips.
"God…Bella…" I couldn't be under her any longer. I needed to feel her under me. I wanted her to know what it felt like to have me taking her, and I held the swell of her backside with my hands unhindered by the restraint of unwanted clothing holding her sweat pants out of the way while I switched our positions on the noisy bed. I watched her eyes while I took her shoulders in my hands and began once again to rock my engorged flesh between her parted legs. Her breasts slid back and forth on my chest, heaving with our mutual thrusting. She had an enraptured look on her face but she seemed for a second to look confused. Was I holding her too tightly against me? Her breath was coming out in deep pants against my face…and her blood was out of my mind completely. "Tell me if I hurt you. I don't want to hurt you."
We continued to push against each other until I felt her body shudder again. This time though it was not small. Her pulse shot through the roof, her muscles clenched over and over and I could actually feel the waves of warmth coming from her contracting core. Her back arched making it impossible to not be in contact with her from head to toe. She cried out in her passion and I understood only too well how she was feeling I let out a small grunt and continued to push my greedy hips against hers so that I could feel what she had just experienced. Her moans filled the room and I sealed my mouth over hers to swallow the beautiful sound. It was warm here in her mouth and I ran my tongue against hers in a tangle of saliva and venom. What had I done? She didn't scream though…she didn't even stop moaning and we continued to move against each other. Perhaps we could kiss this way without fear? Maybe I had been too worried? Bella…my angel if this were to hurt you I would never forgive myself.
She was my forgiveness…my world. I had never come close to feeling this way before, and as I pushed against her and ran my tongue over hers in pleasure I felt myself starting my own orgasm. The muscles in my scrotum pulled tight and I felt my body tense further and further until suddenly it was brought to a crescendo. My head went into the space between my love's shoulder and neck where I could smell her best and I cried out my own release. The cold liquid of my orgasm spilled against my stomach and my shaft pulsed with its release. The fluid was being absorbed into the material of my underwear and jeans but still stayed slick against my skin as well.
I heard Bella sigh against me and I couldn't help noticing the small flutter of her muscles once again as I brought her over the edge of her passion. Three times…I had gotten her to come for me three times. Oh, my gorgeous soon to be wife, my beautiful soul mate. How could I ever explain in words what she had just done for me? "Bella…Oh Bella." I would kiss every inch of her available to me starting with the column of her neck. "You are an angel, and I love you." Could she ever understand the gravity of what I felt at that moment?
"I love you too." She whispered the words through her still heaving breaths. She would need to calm down if I were ever going to leave her alone tonight. I would be ready to take her again soon…and I didn't want her lingering pleasure to influence my decision making.
I would have to explain it to her quickly and I would start with telling her in every way how glorious she was, "That was amazing…" However I was interrupted by an irrational and angry mind with footsteps to match. How had I tuned out everything else including and up to Charlie?!?
'They would have to think I was some kind of idiot not to hear all that moaning and the springs of the bed squeaking like that. God! They were really going at it! I've been half awake and listening to that nonsense for the last fifteen minutes I'm almost positive of it! I'll throw him out the door and shoot him. What the HELL right does he have to use her body like that? I just complimented her for being responsible and now she does this. He must have been hiding in her closet just like I thought!' Charlie was seriously pissed. Bella even looked utterly debauched. Her lips were bruised and swollen from our new kisses. How in the world could she explain away the flush of her cheeks and the heady scent of sex in the room? She must have misinterpreted my look of worry for something else because she intruded on my worries with her angelic voice.
"You didn't hurt me…" The words were whispered with a loving passion and it was like a balm to my heart. We had done more than I had ever thought we could and I hadn't even come close to killing her. The joy was there despite my worry for our lingering situation. I hated to leave her so quickly after what we had just accomplished, but I wasn't really sure how Charlie would handle my presence. If I could be certain he wouldn't accidentally hurt my Bella I would just lay there with her in my arms and glare defiantly at him, she was to be my wife in two days time after all! She was mine now…especially after what had just happened! I could no more give her up now than I could give up blood. Now wasn't the time though. I had an eternity with Bella…He had a week. I needed to prioritize myself to what was best for my fiancée.
He banged on the door as I leapt out the window swinging once again onto the roof as light as a breeze. "What the hell is going on in there?" I heard Charlie bellow through the door and the open window and the wind and rain. It was still raining pretty hard and I had only just made myself "comfortable" when Bella responded and opened the door for her father.
Her voice was shaking fairly hard and I hoped she would get her breathing under control quickly. I heard him tromp around the room looking for me and I almost felt bad about the subterfuge I was currently involved in. He just wanted to protect his daughter. I was in her room…and I had been using her body just as he'd said. However she had been using mine just as ardently. Oh my sweet Bella. She had showed me a world that I had never even known I would want for myself. The cat was out of the bag now though, and I would want to take her over and over again when we were married. I would turn her and we would make love for hours…days…what a beautiful thought.
I tuned back into Bella's current situation as she said, "Will you calm down? Look see? Nothing! What are you looking for?" She almost sounded convincing! She was getting better at covering up for us. I was proud and disgusted all at the same time. I decided to let pride win though. She was my lover now…and it was part of being my mate. My life.
"Sorry Bella…I guess I was having a really detailed dream. I could have sworn I heard something less than wholesome going on in here. I must be paranoid. It's not like it matters much anyway. Two days until your wedding right? Who cares at that point?" The words were there, and he was apologetic to my beautiful Bella, but I could still hear his thoughts. 'I know he was here. I know what someone looks like when they are fresh from doing it. Her eyes were so dilated in that light she looked like she was high. It couldn't be drugs right? I didn't see anything like that, and I know what marijuana smells like. She'd never get that past me. Whatever. Like I said. Two days…who cares if they get it on?'
I officially had parental consent. It was arousing, but at the same time I was a little offended that he hadn't given his blessing before hand. What would Chief Swan say if he found out that we hadn't gone past third base? That technically the future of my life was still a virgin? I swung back into Bella's room and watched her sag to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut. I whispered into her ear, "Your father just gave me permission to have my way with you. I think we should take him up on his offer." I immediately picked her up and dropped her on the bed despite my wet skin and hair, and Bella kissed me on my nose in a cute way.
"Don't get carried away Casanova. I think I've given him one heart attack too many tonight as it is." Her voice was light with a smile. Her observation made me laugh because she had officially called me Casanova after only one night of passion, and that we'd been caught while doing it.
I assured her that our activities were done for the evening. "I won't. That was more than I could have imagined…and I'm more than willing to wait for more. This has given me the hope that I will be able to fulfill all your demands. I wanted your body so much more than your blood…so much that I forgot myself. I was so much Edward Mason…just a man." I rewarded her with kisses on her face. She truly had distracted me from the monster. I was oblivious to her blood. Only her passion had made a difference to me. We would have to discuss her current virginal state though; even a small amount of bleeding when I was so far out of control could be so dangerous! I hadn't intended to kiss her like that…and she could have been hurt. I didn't think. Perhaps we could remove her hymen in a more controlled situation…if she even had one intact. Bella was awfully accident prone. The concept brought a smile to my face. The sex wasn't nearly as frightening a prospect now that I knew I could avoid hurting her.
I felt that I should make her an oath…a promise that would keep her from concern should she start to feel that she'd done something wrong or immoral. "Oh, my Bella you have bewitched me body and soul. I shall never be parted from you…I promise it." I decided that Pandora was out of her box already and so I took her tongue in my mouth and fondled it passionately. Esme's music was the perfect background to this sweeter encounter. We continued much that way for a few minutes and after a few frantic moments of hands and lips we came apart from each other.
"I'm going to stop by home and pick up a change of clothes." I had soiled my clothes after all and I needed to be clean if I were going to hold her while she slept. I wished I didn't feel so timid. The evidence of my pleasure shouldn't bother me this much…but it did. 'You can take the boy out of Nineteen Eighteen…' I thought with a small internal smirk. Now for my most important question…the one I was almost afraid to ask because I didn't want to offend Bella. "Are you sure I haven't hurt you love?"
"No pain…and I feel like I could probably fall asleep. My anxiety is feeling less pronounced. Can we do that whenever I feel stressed?" She graced me with the most wicked smile and said it into my ear in a breathy whisper. The minx was seducing me!
"Good lord, but I've created a monster." I quickly helped her out of bed because the chance that we would engage in another physical activity was still there. Especially the way she kept alluring me. I gave her the most chaste of kisses…one on her beautiful hand…the one that had been defiled by James. I would never allow such a violation again.
I walked over to get my wet shirt off the back of the rocking chair and spoke to my future wife. "I will return in a matter of minutes. I swear it." I took one last hard look at my love and put my hands on her shoulders and kissed her thoroughly. Smiling I went from her window back into the world. There was a time when I had believed that I would never need someone else…now I did need Bella to survive and it was the most intrinsic thing I had ever felt. Joy was suffused in me and I let it out in a loud shout as I ran. I had been given the most incredible of gifts. I was lucky. I was in love. I had it all. In two days I would never want for anything ever again.
I was up the stairs of the front porch and through the door faster than a human could have seen me, but not so quick that Esme didn't have time to admonish me for being too rough on the door. She looked at me with a bright excited smile…as did everyone else in my house including Rosalie and I knew they were already informed. Probably by Alice, but my pixie sized sister was not in the room. Maybe she was hiding from me for telling everyone about what had just happened? Emmett's voice boomed through the house, "Is there anything you wanted to share with the family Edward?" Emmett would have to be the first one to get a crack at me. Jasper snickered and ramped up the feeling of fidelity in the room. If he thought that was all it was going to take to get me to talk about my evening he had another thought coming.
I simply rolled my eyes and started up the stairs. I didn't have time to wrestle with them…and I didn't want to fight them with post coital fluids on me. The ribbing would only get worse if I did. I still smelled wonderfully like Bella and sex. "I hope Charlie wasn't too hard on Bella…You are to be married in two days after all." I nearly tripped up the stairs when my father addressed me. Carlisle had been the one to speak and it took me by surprise that he of all people would get in a dig at my expense. Everyone laughed and I looked over my shoulder with a smile on my face.
"He was very forgiving. It was our fault for being so loud." I turned back around as the room descended into stunned silence, which quickly broke back into laughter again. "You're all so inappropriate." I began to walk up as Emmett thought something about me using him as a role model. "No Emmett I didn't take any of your advice." More laughing. I rolled my eyes as I reached my door and threw it open.
I felt euphoric. Bella and I were intimate at last…at least I had brought her to orgasm not once…but three times. I closed the door and was surprised when Alice was sitting there on my bed and waiting for me with a question. "You were gentle right?" I smiled. "Good. I wouldn't want to have to beat you up for hurting my sister." I walked into my closet and pulled out a new outfit all the way down to my boxers. I ran into the bathroom and cleaned myself thoroughly from our activities and threw my old clothes into my hamper. As I drug on new clothes Alice walked in and addressed me again. "I'm glad you're happy. I'm glad she's happy too. Now…no matter what happens you have each other. That's more powerful than any weapon or ability. It's more powerful than what we are, more powerful than forever. I wish I could tell you I've seen everything in your future and I know it's going to be perfect…but I haven't and I don't. Something tells me you're going to be just fine though."
"Thank you Alice. I'm going back now. Haven't you ever heard of privacy by the way? It's very important to me…and to her. Please don't tell them everything. It would embarrass her if they had details." I warned my sister from meddling further. She gave me a hug and smiled. I took it as close to her agreeing as I would ever come. I walked out my door again and ran down the stairs and out the door before anyone could engage me in conversation. I was back at Bella's house before she could finally bed down.
She spoke to me before I could say anything to her. "Come here." She was holding open the covers and I held up my hand. I quickly divested myself of clothing all the way down to my boxers and crawled in next to my beautiful savior.
I couldn't help but smile at her as I began to tell her what was on my mind. Alice had given me much to think about as I ran back to the home that was my Bella's arms. "Thank you for being with me…like we are. Thank you for never judging me as the monster that I believed myself to be. I love you, just as you are, you and your beautiful soul. You are an angel…Good night. Your mother will be here tomorrow to whisk you away from me, but for now I have you all to myself." I kissed her gently on the forehead and reached across to turn off the lamp.
Darkness filled the room, but none of the tension could survive in the moment, only the love of two people who would be joined together eternally in two days. "What are you thinking about my love?" The darkness wrapped around us like a comforting cloak.
"Our impending nuptials." She breathed with a smile and I noted that the comment was free of fear for the first time since that day in the meadow when I asked her to be mine.