"Is this the end?" said an injured Sonic, hanging by one hand on the edge of a steep cliff.

"It appears so," laughed Eggman at the top of the cliff. Eggman peered over the edge with a devious smile. "You thought you could defeat the Egg Break Sonic's Limbs, but you couldn't. Ha!"

"But I did," said Sonic. "After I defeated it, Amy savagely beat and hammered me into the air for forgetting our wedding anniversary. And that's how I ended up falling onto this cliff."

"You two are married?"

"No...the girl needs help."

"Either way, I'll destroy you with my latest and greatest invention, the Egg Finger!" Eggman held out his index finger and poked at Sonic's hand. "Die!" -Poke- "Die!" -Poke-

"This is barely an invention," said Sonic.

"Silence! It's time for the Egg Finger's finishing move: Hand Swoop!"

Eggman swiped at Sonic's hand but missed. This caused Eggman to lose his balance and fall on his back.

"Interesting," said Sonic.

Eggman squirmed around on his back. "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"Great going, Humpty."

"Shut up, Sonic! When I get up from here, your demise will feed my appetite!"

-2 Days Later-

"I'm hungry," said Eggman, still struggling to get off his back.

"My hand is tired," said Sonic, still hanging on the cliff by one hand.

"This is all your fault, Sonic!"

"You were the one trying to exterminate me!"

"Exactly, die!"

"Let's quit talking for a while, okay?"

-3 Hours later-

"So..." said Eggman, "have you any weaknesses I should know about? My weakness is your death. So, if you ever want to slay me, slay yourself first."

"What a coincidence," Sonic said in an apathetic tone, "my weakness is actually your death. So, if you ever want to slay me, you just could slay yourself first."

"Fine, Sonic. If you want to be a smart-alec and not give me your real weakness, it's time to unveil my other invention, the Egg sit me up!"

A robot came that had long arms and pincer-like hands. "Yes, doctor?"

"Sit me up!" cried Eggman.

The Egg sit me up complied and lifted Eggman to his feet. "Anything else, master?"

Eggman dusted himself off. "No. Actually, there's no more purpose for you after this moment."

"What?" questioned the Egg sit me up.

"In fact, after I get home, I'll start my plans to dismantle you so your parts can go to a greater and later invention. Any who..." Eggman turned to Sonic and planned to finish what he started earlier.

-Push- Eggman was lying on his belly, struggling to get up.

"What's the meaning of this?!" shouted Eggman, wailing around on his stomach.

The Egg sit me up ran away.

"Looks like your invention doesn't like being dismantled," said Sonic.

4 Hours later.

"So, Sonic," said Eggman. "What'd you eat for dinner last night?"

"Various insects and grass," replied Sonic. "How about you?"

"Boiled carrots."

Sonic grinned while thinking of the size of Eggman's stomach. "Boiled in what?"


"I was joking, but I guess I should have known."

"I'm through with this! Time for you to meet the Egg Send Help!"

Sonic looked around and saw nothing coming.

"Help! Help!" Eggman called.

"Is there a robot attached to this or is it only you saying 'help'?"

"Just me saying 'help.' Help! Someone help!" Eggman continued to call.

"I should point out that you can't just attach 'egg' to regular sayings and objects to glorify yourself. Like your 'Egg Finger.'"

"How about you take on the Egg Shut up?! Shut up, Sonic!"

Rouge was flying above with various emeralds in her hand. She abruptly crashed to the ground.

"What happened?" asked Sonic.

Rouge lay wounded on the ground right behind Eggman. "I hit turbulence," Rouge explained.

Seven emeralds fell within arm's reach of Eggman. "What's this? The Chaos Emeralds?"

"Don't touch them!" yelled Rouge, too injured to move. "They're mine! I was planning on buying jewels with those emeralds!"

"Hey," said Sonic. "Eggman, move those emeralds closer to the edge of the cliff so I can focus on them. I'll turn into Super Sonic and have enough energy to save all of us."

"No," Eggman said with a wicked smile. "For years I've seen you colorfully transform into that being that destroys my final and most-likely gigantic robot. No more!" Eggman started to focus, and the Chaos Emeralds began to glow.

"Don't tell me he's going to..."


Eggman's mustache glowed gold and pointed upwards. Truly, Eggman was super-powered. "With these seven Chaos Emeralds, I am Eggcellent Egg!"

"You're still fat," said Rouge.

Eggman struggled to move. "Once I get up from here, both of you will meet your untimely ends!" Still on his stomach, Eggman attempted to lift himself up.

"Super Loser," said Sonic.

Eggman's super form wore off, and the Chaos Emeralds again were scattered across the Earth or wherever they go after the end of a Sonic game.

"All that hard work down the drain," Rouge groaned.

Eggman couldn't lift himself up and again lie on his stomach. "So, Rouge, what did you eat for dinner last night?"

"Jewels, covered in a gem glaze. It was fabulous."

"Eggman!" yelled Bob, running toward him from the far distance. "I've come to help you!"

"Finally!" said Eggman. "Now, I can confidently say, the end is near for you two!"

Upon approaching Eggman at his full speed, Bob tripped on a rock, fell, then lay injured beside Eggman.

"Well this is just great," said Rouge, frowning.

"I've broken something," said Bob. "Sorry."

"So, Bob," said Eggman, "what did you have for dinner?"

"What does that have to do with this situation? ...Anyway, I didn't get dinner. You decided to quickly devour the dinner I made for the two of us."

"It was delicious."


"...We're getting nowhere," said Sonic. "Is there anyone else we can call for help?"

"I'll phone Shadow," said Rouge, pulling out a walkie-talkie.

"No!" screamed Sonic. "The last time Shadow was near, you remember..."

"He tried to eat some human kids, big deal. There are none around now so everything's fine." Rouge continued to phone Shadow. "Okay, he's on his way to kill."

"Don't you mean help?"

"Unfortunately, that's not what he said..."

Sonic thought of letting go of the cliff.

Soon, an increasing high-speed noise echoed throughout the area. Shadow was seen coming from the distance.

"Yay!" said Rouge.

Shadow got up to Rouge's point then fell. "I've been having cholesterol problems."

"Are you serious?!" said Sonic, frustrated at all the past events.

"So, Shadow," said Eggman, "what did you eat for dinner last night?"

"The blood of..."

"I don't feel like talking about dinner anymore," Eggman interjected.

"Shadow, shut up," said Sonic. "I don't even know why our group includes you in it anymore. You've been getting progressively more crazed with each appearance."

Shadow snorted. "As if you're a good judge of character when you so commonly hang around a man with a passion for eggs."

"I don't choose to be with him! He just always tries to annihilate me because he has nothing left to do in his unfulfilling life."

"I suppose you're talking about me?" said Eggman.

"Who else but the egg of broken dreams."

"You listen here, Sonic!...I..."

Sonic decided not to listen.

"You're not listening!" shouted Eggman with fire in his eyes.

"Annihilate?" said Shadow. "That reminds me. I have a walkie-talkie to Omega."

"Shouldn't you guys have a more advanced form of communication?" asked Bob. "Like a phone, perhaps?"

Rouge chimed in, "I spend our team's finances on jewels and jewel-related objects. We can't afford high-tech equipment with the money left over."

"Don't you see that as a problem in times like this?"

"I'm emotionally satisfied." Rouge pulled out a jewel and embraced it.

"I've talkied Omega," said Shadow. "Omega will be here in less than a minute."

A robotic voice was heard from the distance. "Annihilate! Kill! Destroy! Save! Annihilate! Kill! Destroy! Save!"

"We're saved!" yelled Eggman.

"Sounds mostly like we're doomed," said Sonic.

"That works for me," said Shadow.

"Die, Shadow."

"That too would be enjoyable."

"...I think you're a good person."


Sonic chuckled to himself.

Omega stopped in front of the group. "I am here to assist everyone but Dr. Eggman."

"Darn," said Eggman.

"First, I will...battery...draining...failed to recharge this morning..." Omega collapsed.

"What do you suppose Omega eats?" asked Eggman.

"Stop talking about food!" shouted Sonic. "You fat, fat man!"

Eggman started to cry. "I understand I have a weight problem, but I'm too busy trying to bring about your destruction to have time to exercise. -sob-"

"Look at what you've done!" said Bob. "Sonic, apologize, now!"

"Fine," said Sonic. "Eggman, I'm sorry you've eaten so much that your body had to mold itself into an egg to handle your food intake."

"Sonic!" Bob yelled again.

"...Eggman...I'm sorry..."

"Really, Sonic?" said Eggman, crying a little lighter.

"Hey, wait a second! Why should I be apologizing to someone who tries to harm me on a daily basis!?"

"It's just the right thing to do," said Bob. "Two wrongs don't make a right and whatnot."

"What kind of evil assistant are you?" said Eggman.

"Back-up battery initiated," said Omega, now turning back on. "My back-up battery gives me the power to speak, but I will not be able to move until I am fully recharged."

"Well that's just great again!" screamed Rouge in obvious sarcasm.

"Wait," said Bob. "Sonic, don't you have any way of contacting Tails or Knuckles?"

Sonic explained, "Tails is in Hawaii teaching underprivileged children the proper way to debate."


"I like ham sandwiches," said Guam.

"No, that's not debatable," said Tails.

"But," said Hom, "Guam threw away half of his ham sandwich at lunch today. I motion that he is a liar!"

"Yeah, burn him!" said the whole class.

"There's no debate in burning him!" said Tails.

"Well," said Hom, "it looks like we're going to have Guam and fox meat for dinner tonight."

The class got their spears ready.


"So he's probably very busy over there," Sonic continued. "And Knuckles rarely cares about my well-being if it has nothing to do with the Master Emerald."

"Actually, I stole the Master Emerald this morning," said Rouge. "It's in my pocket, next to my grenades. Oh, that reminds me, I killed another guy earlier on a heist."

"Do tell," said Shadow.

"Did you remember to go for the membrane first like I told you?" asked Omega.

"It all started out as..." started Rouge.

("Is that why they're friends?") thought Sonic.

A vortex opened up and dropped two characters face-first onto the cliff side.

"Where are we, Silver?"

"I dunno. I guess I don't have this time-traveling thing down pat."

"Blaze?" said Sonic.

"Sonic, where are you?" asked Blaze, looking around.

"Hanging on the side of the cliff. Could you help me up?"

"Sure," said Blaze.

"I'll do it!" said Silver. He started to focus his telekinesis on Sonic.

"What's with your hands?" asked Shadow, noticing the blue circles on Silver's hands.

"And the hair?" laughed Rouge.

"Plus the character design," said Omega.

Silver got defensive. "I'm actually very creative and handsome."

"Maybe to other jellyfish!" said Shadow.

Silver got mad. "WHAT DID YOU SAY!?" Silver's focus was interrupted and he ended up lifting Blaze instead of Sonic.

"Silver," Blaze said calmly.

"Is the living organism turning on his anger units?" laughed Omega.

"Rawwrr!!" screamed Silver, unknowingly swinging Blaze around in the air with his telekinesis.

"Silver!" said Blaze. -Collision-

Silver and Blaze lay injured on the ground.

"This is all just inconvenient," said Bob.

Blaze sighed. "You really need to work on your composure, Silver."

Neither of them could get up, and Silver had a terrible headache, which prevented him from using his powers.

"Let's just think about this rationally," said Eggman. "Now, how would all of us benefit from this situation if Sonic just let go of the cliff? Think about it."

"I know how I'd benefit from that," said Sonic. "I'd be free from your mouth."

"We'd all like to be free of that," said Rouge.

"Agreed," said Omega, Shadow, and Bob.

"You too, Bob?!" said Eggman.

Bob nodded. "Sorry, but sometimes you just say too much..."

"Fine," Eggman said in a childish tone. "When I find a way up from here, you too shall face my wrath."

"I brought the Sol Emeralds, Blaze," said Silver, hauling them out of his fur.

"I'll focus on them then," said Blaze.

Eggman focused on the Sol Emeralds.

"Stop it!" said Rouge.


Eggman's mustache glowed red and pointed upward. Truly, Eggman was super-powered. "With these seven Sol Emeralds, I am Eggceptional Egg!" Eggman still struggled to get up from his tummy, but again, it didn't work.

"Great job," Sonic said in anger. "Like you couldn't learn from the first time."

"But I have, Sonic," Eggman said in a conceited tone. "Bob, toss me over the car jack!"

Bob pulled out a car jack and threw it over to Eggman. Eggman picked it up and put it under his stomach. He cranked himself up as though he was a car. Eggman was on his feet.

"Clever yet sad," said Blaze.

"Omega, can you replay back that whole scene?" asked Shadow. "That was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life! Including the super form!"

Everyone started laughing at Eggman.

"Eggceptional Egg?!" said Sonic, cackling.

"QUIET!" said Eggman. "Now that I'm up, death is at each of your doorsteps!" Eggman lifted his hands and they started to glow. "Goodbye, my dearest enemies and Bob!"

Knuckles glided onto the mountain right into Eggman's face. Eggman fell to his back again and his super form wore off.

"I can't believe you were actually going to kill me too!" said Bob. "No fourth helping of breakfast for you tomorrow!"

"NOOO!" said Eggman at the current failure and thought of a smaller portioned breakfast.

Knuckles got up and rudely took the Master Emerald from Rouge. He started walking away.

"Wait, Knuckles!" said Sonic. "You gotta save us before you leave!"

"Why?" said Knuckles.

"Because we'll die here if you don't!" said Rouge. "Oh, and I'm sorry about taking your emerald or something...so save me NOW!"

"Honestly, if the lot of you died, it'd be tons less stressful guarding the Master Emerald." Knuckles left.

"He's right," said Eggman. "I was going to steal it Tuesday."

"I was going to get it Wednesday," said Shadow.


"Just 'cus."

"I think my headache is clearing up," said Silver.

"I'm tired of all of you," said Rouge.

"Calculating time until deaths will be met," said Omega. "5 hours."

"Hurry up then, Silver!" said Sonic.

Silver focused on Sonic and lifted him onto the cliff. Though Sonic still was too injured to move.

"At least my hand gets some relief," said Sonic.

"Can you replenish yourself, Silver?" asked Blaze.

"I think I have enough power to..." said Silver.

"Freak," said Shadow.

"Shadow, stop it!" said Bob. "Silver is just different."

"Fine," said Shadow.

Silver wanted to cry. "I can't do this!"

"Thanks a lot, guys," Sonic said while breathing hard.

"For the main hero guy, you're not very cheerful," said Eggman.


"Or maybe this is your true side. Shadow does evil things, but lately, it seems like his disposition is more sunny than yours."

"Exactly," Shadow said with a smile while thinking of a burning building.

"4 hours until deaths will be met," said Omega.

"Let's just scream for help," said Rouge. "We have no other options."

"HELP! TAILS! ANYONE!" screamed Sonic.

Tails was flying towards the group in the Tornado 2. "I've sensed your cry all the way from Hawaii! I'll save you guys!"


"How unfortunate," said Tails, laying on the ground in pain.

"These are your associates, Sonic?" said Blaze. "I can see why you try to remain so positive and happy when constantly having to be around people of this caliber. I feel empathy for your situation."

"I'm happy because it's just my personality!" shouted Sonic.

"I believe it has more to do with you coping with your bad environment. You pretend to be carefree and jolly as a way to avoid insanity with this company."

"Hey!" said Eggman. "I'm the only one certified to be jolly around here!"

Shadow snickered. "She called you dysfunctionally happy."

Sonic growled. "Oh yeah, Shadow? At least I have a likable personality!"

"Actually," said Blaze, "I find Shadow's personality more likable. Or at least more realistic in this setting."

"I tryz 2 keep it realz," said Shadow. "Gun-toting was really the only feasible way I saw fit to interact in this crazed world."

"Blaze, as if you know what a decent personality is!" said Sonic. "The people you've been acquainted to include an even tackier and more boring copy of Eggman with a card obsession, a dull, ugly, starfish-headed hedgehog, and an Australian raccoon who enjoys sailing."

"Seriously?!" Rouge said in ridicule. "Those are the people you hang out with!"

"Exactly!" said Sonic. "Maybe Blaze is so calm all the time to keep from the insanity of weirdos!"

"You're so childish, Sonic," said Blaze.

"Haha!" laughed Eggman. "You're childish!"

"All of you, quiet!" said Bob.

Silence fell.

"3 Hours until deaths shall be met," said Omega.

Bob continued to speak. "Now who else could we call to save us? Someone who would have better luck."

"Cream!" said Sonic. "She has rabbit's feet so she should be naturally lucky."

"How will we contact her?"

"What attracts rabbits?"

"I've got some carrots from last night's meal," said Eggman, pulling out buttery carrots from his pockets.

Bob squinted. "You had enough leftovers to put away for later use, but you still left no dinner for me?!"

"Think of the benefit of me doing so at this moment. Now we have a way to lure Cream here and we all have food for our survival." Eggman immediately ate all the carrots.

"Mission is a failure," said Omega.

"What do we do now?" said Silver, who recovered from his cry-fest but still had a headache.

"Hi, everyone!" said Cream, just standing in the middle of the group. "I smelled carrots for a second and thought some were around...oh no! You guys are hurt!"

"You'll have to help us, Cream," said Tails.

"Sure, I'll..." Cream fell to the ground.

"What's wrong, Cream?!"

"I came towards the smell of carrots because I haven't eaten in days."

"Why not?!"

"Mom told me not to frolic too much before dinner, but I got carried away...and ended up frolicking for days. I couldn't stop, but when I came to my senses, I was starving. That's why I desperately came here! I'm so hungry!!" Cream began to cry and held her stomach.

"Do not cry, Cream," said Blaze. "We will get out of here alive."

"Of course," said Sonic.

"2 hours until deaths shall be met," said Omega.

"Anyone ever wonder why the fastest thing alive has no calf muscles?" asked Silver.

"They'd only slow me down," said Sonic.

"Actually, you shouldn't even be able to run."

"He's right," said Tails.

"I'm a hedgehog of speed, not details," said Sonic.

"I want to go home," Cream said, holding her stomach.

"I'm still hungry," said Eggman. "Which one of you animal characters can be eaten on the spot?"

"None of them," said Bob.

Big the Cat entered the area. "Have any of you guys seen Froggy?"

"No," said Sonic.

"Oh shoot. ...Have any of you guys seen Froggy?"

"Once again, no," said Sonic.

"Darn. ...Froggy?"

"HE'S NOT HERE!" screamed Rouge. "Now help us all out and call an ambulance!"

"You guys want to hear my new theme song for Froggy?"


He's froggy. Sometimes he is a little groggy.

Heads up, it's time to seeeeee, froggy is the friend for meeeee.

So sorry, from now on it's just I and froggy.

Even though, you may not know, him and me are the best in show.

And when the world is foggy...the road is clear...with my friend froggyyyy.

"Thank You." Big walked off into the sunset.

"I now have a valid reason to kill," said Shadow.

"I thought the song was sweet," Cream said with a smile.

"Bob, I think you and me need a theme song," Eggman said with tears in his eyes.

"1 hour until deaths shall be met," said Omega.

"There is one other person we could call..." Tails said calmly, mildly glaring at Sonic.

"NO! NOT THAT!" shrieked Sonic.

"She is the only one left, Mr. Sonic," said Cream. "We'll die if we don't call Amy."

"Do you guys like living that much?" asked Sonic.

"YES!" replied everyone but Shadow.

"Meh," said Shadow.

"I guess I'll have to do it then," Sonic moaned. "Rouge, I think I'm in love with you!"

"WHAT!" said Rouge and Amy.

"Amy?!" said Rouge, looking up to see Amy's figure right in front of her.

"I knew it!" said Amy. "Ever since I laid eyes on your big portions, I knew you'd try to steal Sonikku from me! Time to put this to rest!" Amy gripped her hammer.

"As if," said Rouge, biting on Amy's leg.

Amy fell to the ground.

Sonic looked over. "See, what was supposed to happen was she comes then saves us. Not comes and ends up like us. Great job, Rouge."

"She was about to pound my gorgeous face!" said Rouge.

"I won't forgive you!" yelled Amy, swinging her arms at Rouge in an attempt to clobber her.

"I wasn't serious about Rouge," Sonic said, agitated.

"Either way," said Rouge, "destruction isn't the way to get what you want. I prefer thievery."

"You can't steal someone's heart," said Shadow.

"But I can literally."

"Hey, Sonic!" said Amy. "Is this the spot for our honeymoon? I would rather we have it in a more secluded place with just you and me."

"If I wanted to reach lunacy," mumbled Sonic.

Amy gazed around and saw Cream. "Hi, Cream! What did you do last week?"

"I played Castlevania," Cream said sweetly.

"Really?" said Silver and Shadow.

"Isn't that too violent for you?" asked Shadow, knowing the game series all too well.

"No," said Cream, "I played Castlevania: Dawn of Happiness. When I first saw the zombies I was scared, but then I found out they give you flowers and hugs when you touch them."

"...Really," said Shadow. "And how do you know about the series, Silver?"

"I play video games a lot in the future. We're up to 'Castlevania: The Rise of the Dracula's forthcoming' now."

"30 minutes until deaths shall be met," said Omega.

"Remember when we were little, Silver?" Blaze said in a happy tone, trying to reminisce before deaths shall be met.

"Yeah," said Silver, equally happy. "I went to the past in an effort to stop my teacher from giving me homework in the future. Good times... It's too bad we have to end it like this..."

Rouge sighed. "I wanted to steal candy from a baby before my life ended."

Shadow started, "I wanted to..."

"WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" said everyone.

"15 minutes until deaths shall be met," said Omega.

"Eggman, can't you invent a way out of this situation?" asked Bob.

"Now that you mention it..." said Eggman. He pulled out a red, a green, and a blue pill from his pocket. "I recently made these three pills that have temporary side effects. One has the power to heal! But I forgot what the other ones do."

"10 minutes until deaths shall be met," said Omega.

"Let me eat one!" said Bob.

"Hurry, me too!" said Silver.

"I'll eat it," said Rouge. "As long as I don't die here."

Eggman tossed the pills to Bob, Silver, and Rouge.

Bob ate the red pill, Silver ate the green pill, and Rouge ate the blue pill.

Bob instantly was covered in fire and rolled around in pain. "AAAAAHHHHH!!"

"Oh yes," said Eggman, "I remember now. That was 'Fire Red,' and it gives the user the power to burn up. I created it incase I ever wanted to barbecue on the go."

"But wouldn't you die from using it on yourself anyway?" asked Amy.

"I really like barbecue."


"Let's just overlook Bob and move on to Silver."

Silver started to get big lips. "They should call this whole situation 'Egg on a Hot Tin Cliff!' Bwahahaha!!"

"It seems as though Silver got 'Parody Green.' I made it incase I ever needed to parody in an emergency. ...If I were a rich egg, ba-da-be-da-ba-da-bum."

"That means I got the healing power!" Rouge squealed in delight. "I'll heal myself first, then I'll search all of you for cash, and after that, I'll leave you all here!" Rouge laughed and tried to heal herself. She still felt the same way. "What's going on?! Bleu. Bleu! I can't Bleu! stop saying Bleu!"

"Aha!" said Eggman, "it's 'Bleu Blue': The pill that makes all food tasteless. I made it so I could always eat Bob's cooking."

"I'm both offended and burning to death," said Bob.

"WHERE'S THE HEALING PILL!" screamed Sonic and Blaze.

"I guess I forgot to make it," Eggman replied. "I just invent so much, it gets hard to keep up sometimes."

"5 Minutes until deaths shall be met," said Omega.

"So this really is the end..." Sonic said, looking up into the sky.

"At least we're being sent off with a beautiful full moon," said Amy, gazing at the moon.

Tails panicked. "Did you say full moon?!"

"What's wrong, Tails?"


Everyone looked up and saw nothing.

"What did you see?" asked Cream.

Tails's fur grew out and his teeth turned razor sharp. "I was too embarrassed to tell you guys...I was recently bitten by a werewolf. I'm a werefox...and now, my urges are taking over!! ...I'M GOING TO EAT YOU ALL!" Tails got up and started towards Eggman.

"Eeep!" said Eggman, trying to roll away.

Amy threw her hammer at Tails's head. Tails was knocked out and reverted to his normal form.

"I did it!" said Amy.

"Yay!" said everyone.

The End.

"Wait!" said Bob. "I'm not feeling very closured. Aren't we still going to die here in less than 5 minutes?"

"Less than 1," said Omega.

Vector, Charmy, and Espio ran up to the group.

"Hey guys, you forgot about us!" said Vector.

"Or didn't want you," said Shadow.

Vector, Charmy, and Espio all collapsed.

"Sheesh," said Sonic, "any reason you guys break down now?!"

"Coincidence, perhaps?" said Espio.

"I've brought a signal flare," said Charmy. Charmy shot it into the air.

"But who could save us now?" said Vector.

A herd of vans were coming fast from the distance and stopped right in front of the group.

"Who could that be?" said Cream.

Vector looked in amazement. "It's! It's! ...PETA!"

Numerous people exited the vans and quickly nursed everyone to health.

Sonic's pain turned into a gentle backrub.

Tails's unconsciousness and werewolf infection were treated with a new SUV and wolfsbane.

Cream was fed a bushel of carrots.

Espio acquired the latest issue of Spy Magazine.

Shadow was given a gun. He soon regained his composure.

Silver got a new hairstyle like Fonzie's. "Eeeehhhh!!"

Charmy was given some Honey Nut Cheerios.

Blaze received some catnip.

Omega got an upgraded motherboard.

Amy got a promise ring, which she assumed was from Sonic.

Vector got his own talk show.

Rouge looted the person who was nursing her back to health.

Eggman and Bob got nothing.

"I wish I was an animal right now," said Eggman.

"Omega isn't even an animal," remarked Bob.

The Very End.

P.S. Eggman and Bob did not die on the cliff. They went on to pursue very fulfilling careers in real estate.