The Harry Potter Characters Have Been Disclaimed. Out of respect for my lesbian lover J.K
I try to keep my story as accurate to the books as possible. I like to give you the illusion that this really could have happened, almost like an underlying plot or the story untold. So if I totally fed something up, please let me know.
The way he looks at me……………is driving me insane.
And there is no bloody fucking sodding way in hell for me to interpret what he means by it.
And it never stops.
I mean, Malfoy has always bugged me. Ever since I first laid eyes on him. But never like this before.
It started right at the very beginning of term. I didn't notice it right away but it didn't take to long for me to notice that every single time I happened to glance past Malfoy, he was staring dead at me.
The fucking prat never looks ashamed either. Even when he knows I know he's blatantly staring at me, he never blushes, never looks away, and just keeps right on staring at my ugly mug. And of course every time I notice him looking, it makes me light up like a match.
I just wish I knew what he meant by it. You can't read anything from it. No one has ever looked at me that way before. I can't tell if he wants to curse me or hit me or bugger me or poison me or whatever. He is simply un-readable. And I think the bastard wants it that way. The only conclusion I can come to, is that he is planning something. That he has some sick little thought formulating in his twisted little mind to like make my balls into a crafty suspension for his ceiling or something disgusting like that. Make my intestines into origami or use my skin for his death eater holiday cookie dough.
I know he intends to viciously slay me, but I can't prepare myself or know any of his plans because the only evidence I have to go off is his sodding eye balls being attached to my face. Which, I might add, everyone else in the sane world seems oblivious to. Every time I bring it up to Hermione she just tells me to ignore him. Harry just shrugs and generally keeps eating or sleeping or not paying attention to me or saving the wizarding world or some stupid shit like that.
The only way I could find out why he's really doing it is to ask the freak himself but that really wouldn't look to sweet over breakfast or in potions me screaming across the room, "WHY THE bleep ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME, YOU bleeping bleep?!?!?!?"
I have to tell you it really is unnerving. The worst part about it is that I feel like he's ALWAYS watching me. Now that I'm certain he's constantly looking at me, his gaze is like cold water running down the back of my neck. I can't escape it either. It seems like no matter where I am he's there, just looking at me, scheming. It's bad when I'm in the great hall and he's sitting directly across from me on the other side of the room, which seems to happen a lot, and I can feel my ears and cheeks getting hotter and hotter. It's even worse when I'm alone in a corridor at night and I feel like he's everywhere just viewing me. I see his eyes in dark corners and I think I'm going mad. It's actually rather frightening. I never thought Malfoy could ever make me feel such fear and misery.
I can't deal with it. His grey eyes always see me. Like he's all knowing, like he knows what I'm thinking.
Generally I'm thinking about the most inhumane ways of ending him. It's gotten to the point where his obsession with me is interfering in my everyday life. I've started to hate ever being in public. Walking into the Great Hall, Walking in the corridors, sitting in class, playing on the Quidditch pitch, STUDYING IN THE FUCKING LIBRARY! Oh yeah I never do that……………but you get the point.
I feel like such a pansy. Like the flower not the she-man.
In certain like his eyes almost look like shining liquid silver. It's disgusting and I just want to hurt him for making me feel all this shit for no fucking reason at all. To look up and see him staring at me over a cauldron is more than weird. It messes up my whole day. This past month or two has been one of the most bizarre of my life and I'm a Weasley and best friend to Harry Potter. I come back from break all chipper and ready for a new year and this is all it's been. I try to hide how much it bothers me, and I don't think its working. I bet he's rolling in it. He so fucking twisted. Death Eater Scum.
I don't know what to do anymore.
But I have to do something. Soon
Before I lose it.