Ok. This fic is fairly squished together, but I wrote this last year and have attempted to fix it up.
Crossed over with Fullmetal Alchemist, Dragon Ball Z, and Fruits Basket.
Disclaimer: this fic contains slash, don't like, don't read.
Harry walked to his next class, he never really fancied potions, but there was always the upside of seeing caterpillars squirm. He quietly entered the class room and had begun to quietly sneak to his desk when he got caught.
"Ten point from Gryffindor Potter, and get to your seat immediately"
Partnered with Neville, could his life get any better? He hoped not. Neville passed over the cabbage, Harry chopped it up fine then added it to the mix along with some basil; it would have been a perfect soup if not for the dried "capsicum".
Bang went the cauldron, an overflow a chilly powder! Despair!
Harry clicked his tongue. "All over my new robes, what a shame" then he passed out and is rushed to the hospital wing.
"There haven't been any side effects, well at least not physically…" Madame Pomfrey informed are headmaster. "Well we shall just have to wait until he wakes up to see" dumbly replied.
Harry began to stir. "What perfect timing" said Dumbly. Harry wakes up and looks around.
"Where's al? Where's that godamn sexy colonel bastard? I wasn't done yet!"
Dumbledore and Pomfrey look startled. "Harry, are you feeling okay?" says dumbly.
"What the hell are you talking about old man, my names Edward, Edward Elric! And I am in the middle of my erection, so if you would either piss off, or bring my colonel bastard it would be muchly appreciated".
Dumbly and Pomfrey eyes lower themselves to see the extremely large tent around his crotch area under the bed sheets…
"We will just leave you then…" replies Dumbly dumbly.
"Yuki! Why won't you suck my cock! Just because I'm in black mode doesn't mean I don't love you…"
Yuki Sohma didn't know where he was. One minute he was running from Haru, and the next he's laying in some kind of hospital bed surrounded by old people wearing pointy hats.
"Where am I…?" Yuki asked slowly
"Ah Harry I see your back with us! You're in the hospital wing, had a rather nasty spill in potions, actually."
Why was this man calling him hairy? Sure he is the rat of the zodiac and all, but hairy? That's just not right.
"Who are you people?" Yuki asked startled.
The man with the beard frowned then turned to the old woman next to him and started whispering things in hushed voices.
The old lady then left the room, and then the bearded man started to speak again
"My name is Albus Dumbledore, and I am headmaster of the school we are currently situated in. you seem to have some sort of memory loss Harry, but we will try to jog it quickly."
Again with the hairy, this man didn't understand. He suddenly appeared in this place and they don't even ask him how he got here ore his name, they even called him hairy! Yuki shivered, he wondered if they knew about the incident with the scissors…
"My name is Yuki Sohma, I don't know how I got here or why, but I'm just glad I got away from Haru trying to get me to suck his… oh god I'm horny now, do you have any cows in this place?"
"This is absurd! How could a Chinese muggle be possessing Mr. Potter?" was McGonagall's indignant shout.
Yuki gritted his teeth. "Japanese"
"Whatever, dumbly do you wax? Cause' I hear it can be very could for your eyeballs."
"Yuki Kun, stop looking up Tohru's skirt, she's wearing strawberry panties and we all know what that means."
"What?" asked Harry. He was getting used to this life, hot chicks, hot guys, no Voldy, and no Granger, there is that whole turn-into-a-rat-when-you-hug thing" but its okay cause' Harry only likes to look at chicks, guys are the sexy gods, especially Kyo and Haru.
Yuki was forced to pretend that he's this Harry dude, but he couldn't find the bathroom! He felt like Haru when Kyo had to take him every where… Haru and Kyo would look yummy in a threesome…
Kyo pushed Tohru against the wall of her bedroom, a thin sheet separating them. Kyo ran his tongue along her lips begging for entry, Tohru moaned in acceptance and they began their daily ritual of dry sex.
Harry surveyed the scene with interest. 'Tohru and Kyo are so hot together… maybe they would consider a threesome' Harry thought happily
Yuki was so happy! He had finally found the bathroom! Success! Sometimes he wished Shigure was here to help him wipe.
All he could hear in his mind was a loop of
"breakfast time, breakfast time, all for me, breakfast time"
Yuki screamed, never again to return to the girls bathrooms… unbeknownst to him, a ghost cackled softly in the background. "I like my toast medium rare…" was heard amongst the ominous laughter
Vegeta wasn't having a good time… that godamn harpy of his had decided that he would look good in costume from the rocky horrors picture show…. Not a nice effect.
Vegeta stood in front of the mirror, a twitch in his eye and a scowl on his face; if the costume wasn't bad enough, she decided that she needed him to act out parts and to… to sing! Utterly insane!
He decided he was going to change and then take a visit to the GR.
Yuki was finally happy; he found out that Harry had a nighttime relationship with Malfoy and Zabini, life is going to be so great!
He brushed his teeth, he shined his hair and he waxed his toe nails, today he has potions, and we all know what that means…
"Oh Gure' san, look what I found! How to become a flat chested sorceress! All the basics!" Ayame informed Shigure with enthusiasm.
Yuki sighed; this is getting dull, I need something more amusing; if only I could tease Malfoy and Voldy then I wouldn't be so bored.
'No, no, no, this won't do at all; Yuki's happy and Harry is bored, he would get mister
Popo to get his puppets, or… 'Dende smirked.
Vegeta was so angry; his brat and Kakkarot's second brat had decided it would be fun to paint his gravity chamber with lettuce, they were going to pay… he decided it would be fun to lock them in there all day to see if they could come out male…
Everyone was happily eating in the great hall when suddenly… Ronald Weasley's eyes rolled over, except he was no longer Ronald Weasley, he was a certain horny black cow…
Suddenly, over all the happy chattering of unimportant to this story fools, you could hear…
"WHERE THE HELL IS THAT SEXY MOUSEY OF MINE!" was being screamed from the mouth of Ronald Weasley.
Yuki's heart jumped; was he happy or was he sad that Haru is here? Well it didn't seem to matter much to his horny side. Yuki ran over to Haru and started crying. "Oh Hatsu, I was so scared! Take the mouseys pain away!" said Yuki before Haru squealed and they started making out.
Dende wiped a tear from his eye, wasn't it just darling? Very cute, but right now he had to deal with Vegeta; he was going a bit insane, so he thought maybe he should have veggie declare his undying love for Gohan before he did the switchy thingy again, or….
Haru's and Yuki's makeup only lasted about five minutes… right after they collapsed and were taken to the hospital wing where Harry and Ron are never likely to recover…
Hospital wing- Gohan's dream
Gohan looked around; where was he? It didn't seem like a place he'd been in before.
Gohan was in a bedroom of some sort, it had purple (like Yuki) walls with posters of the
20'third Tenkaichi Budokai everywhere, He had a strange feeling about this place.
There was a bed in the middle of the room, and on top was a photo that Gohan couldn't make out… he had to move closer…
Gohan stepped over to the bed and sat himself down onto the silky covers. He picked up the photograph, on which was… Himself! Not only that but… Murai… Gohan sighed; he was never going to see trunks again, he should get over it and stop fantasizing about being with him... but he just couldn't let go.
Suddenly the doorknob turned and Gohan spun his head around… who walked in wasn't who he expected…
It was… himself!
Murai Trunks was looking for directions; he was supposed to find the so-called headmasters office so that he could enroll properly… 'Bitch' trunks muttered under his breath; it had been his mothers "dying" wish that he attend Hogwarts.
HOSPITAL WING- Gohan's dream
Suddenly Gohan walks through the door; Gohan can't believe it! A copy of him just entered… wherever this place is… but… two Gohan's?! That just can't be right. Suddenly the copy Gohan speaks "Oi Trunks, make room on that bed of yours…" Copy Gohan said with a playful growl. Wait Gohan thought! He called me Trunks… Gohan look around the room trying too find a mirror, but when he found one he gasped. "Omfg…I'm trunks" screamed GOHAN I'm trunks!!!!
END OF DREAM
Gohan opened his eyes, "so it was a dream… ah fuck I want my trunksie back!
TIME TO TELL A STORY
'There were three men in a cave, and one of them stood up an asked 'mosses, tell us a story!' so mosses said' There were three men in a cave, and one of them stood up an asked 'mosses, tell us a story!' so mosses said' There were three men in a cave, and one of them stood up an asked 'mosses, tell us a story!' so mosses said' There were three men in a cave, and one of them stood up an asked 'mosses, tell us a story!' so mosses said 'There were three men in a cave, and one of them stood up an asked 'mosses, tell us a story!' so mosses said
Murai had finally found Dumbledore's office after counting the 776 doors on the left and he had finally made it, but he wasn't so sure that he wanted to be there anymore. This man was insane; Murai was just standing there in the doorway repetitively insisting that he did NOT want a lemon drop, but the man just went on!!!
Dumbledore cleared his throat, after his talk on the difference of lemon candy and lime candy he was finally able to get down to business, Murai's transfer;
'Well mister briefs I see you are very capable in the looks department, but do you have the right moves?'
Trunks proceeded to dance like a gay cowboy
This boy obviously didn't have what it takes to be a sexy goddess.
"You will be sorted into a house here, and we will give your timetable" he said this while looking from Murai's face and chest, down to the crouch area; Dumbledore smirked this year was getting better and better
What the fuck! Gohan felt… short and… skinny! Like a thirteen year old, and even then, Kami he wasn't a weakling!
He looked around. He was in some kind of hospital room, which would explain why he felt weak, but not why he was in the body of a thirteen year old…
Wait! There was one thing he had forgotten….
Oh no! He had to check! Gohan slowly slid his hand into his pants and snaked it around a SMALL sausage like limb.
"…Oh no! Mum is going to kill me!!!!"
He had decided to stop crying about it, the damage was done; he had to figure out where he was, why, and why he was so small!!! Dende better not have been trying anything!
Muhahahaha, his plan was working, trunksie hates everyone, veggies covered in lettuce and Gohan was small… he was living the good from now on; thought Dende as he sewed fishnets on to his transvestite Vegeta doll. And so it was…?