A/N: Thanks for all the input guys, it's really appreciated. Here we go again… (p.s. I called this chapter 1 because the last was more of an introduction.)

Jack pushed his head deeper into the pillow. It had been half an hour, and the mayor had lost neither interest nor hope on the boy whose door he had been thrusting himself against in an all too sexual way in an attempt to rouse (or perhaps arouse) him.

"Jack!" The boy in question groaned something just barely audible in response.

"Just 'Duck cough?' Whatever does that mean, boy?" Jack decided to not bother correcting the Mayor. After a moment's pondering, the mayor sighed.

"You know Jack, you really should get to work. Remember, you need to bring this farm up to its former exceptional standard, plus find a generic country girl as your bride in the next three years."

"And why would I need to do that?" Jack said, now just a tad curious.

"Silly Jack. Don't you remember your contract?" Thomas heard a loud thudding sound that sounded suspiciously like someone falling off a bed echoing through the house. After another series of scrambled thuds, the door jolted open, revealing a Jack's now incredulous countenance.

"What… contract?" Ever the jovial one, Thomas beamed as he put a hand up into his hat. It soon surfaced, along with an officially formatted document.

Jack scanned said document, his face turning slowly from skeptical to bewildered and then truculent.

"You signed right here, see?" The dopey politician pointed to a line near the bottom of the page where Jack's signature was scrawled in what seemed to be a rather intoxicated fashion.

"I don't remember ever signing this!" Jack scowled; his voice temporarily losing it's monotonal, nasally sound.

"And I know I most certainly would have read something of this significance before signing it… what's this? "The act of breaching this legal document will result in a punishment of the offending person(s) of 1(one) – 5 (five) years of imprisonment, and an additional 100 000 gold fine. (Yes, this is how we get our jollies. We admit social depravity).

Jack stared at the paper in utter disbelief, recognizing his complex signature as authentic.

"How… how could I have agreed to this?" The Mayor shrugged nonchalantly.

"Caffeine is a hell of a drug."

Jack kicked a stone absent mindedly as he walked through the virtually empty red brick road. How could he have gotten himself into this situation? Had he really been that high on caffeine that he had lost the ability to assess even a just plain ludicrous document properly? If so, I never want to drink. He had been wandering through the streets of his newly affirmed town of residence. I hadn't planned for this… Jack felt cheated. He'd only even shown up out of respect for the old man. When he heard his old friend had left him his farm, his life's work, he couldn't exactly refuse to return to the place at least once… if only to see if the TV was still up for grabs. Sure, he did intend to stay for a while, but he didn't exactly feel ready for this kind of forced commitment and responsibility being shoved into his face. Jack looked up, realizing he'd made his way back to the road continuing to and from his farm. Well, I somehow dug my own grave, and I guess I have to lie in it. He stopped walking and stood in the white fluorescent glow of the street light, head bowed.

"There better be some damn hot girls here." And after remarking this to no one in particular, he continued on his way to his new life.