The characters in this story are the property of Disney. I make no monetary gain from their use (so don't sue me).

Oh, Bloody Hell

(A Kim Possible fanfic)

The fight had been going on for several minutes. Bored, Ron reclined against the wall of the lair. He was content to watch the two enemies go at it. Kim and Shego continued to circle each other, alternating punches and kicks, blocks and dodges. For a long while neither could gain the upper hand, and both women were starting to get tired.

"Why don't you just give it up, Kimmie? You know you could never take me in a fair fight!" Shego smiled menacingly at her opponent, her hands glowing bright with green fire. It only took Kim a moment to come up with her reply.

"Why don't you take a trip to the mall? Black-on-green is so played out, don'tcha think?"

Shego's eyes narrowed, and her lip curled up in a sneer. "Oh? And now I take fashion tips from a flat-chested little bitch wearing 70s throwbacks?"

Kim stopped circling, and stood stock still, staring at the dark-haired woman. Kim was very proud of her new mission duds. How dare this candidate for What Not to Wear insult them?!

Shego, mistaking Kim's reaction for shock, launched herself at the redhead. A glowing claw stretched out at Kim's impassive face. Kim was waiting for that, and neatly sidestepped the attack. Gripping Shego's right arm at the wrist, Kim swung her hips around, propelling her opponent into the stone wall of the lair. Shego struck the wall headfirst, planting her wide-eyed face into the rock.

CRACK! The sound got Ron's attention, who had been nodding off. He looked up in time to see Shego fall backwards from the wall, landing hard on the stone floor. Her head struck the stone once again, then she lay still, blinking blearily. Kim leaned down over the villainess's face. Shego saw three Kim Possibles as her vision swam.

"Who's the bitch now?" Kim asked her sweetly. Shego could only groan, then her vision closed in on her and the world went black.

Kim checked her pulse and saw that the woman was still breathing. "Ron!" Kim called. "I need your help with something."

Ron came over immediately. "Ron Stoppable, at your service!" Kim rolled her eyes, then grinned mischievously.

"Here," she said, handing him the Kimmunicator. "Switch it on camera mode."

Ron took the device, then looked up in surprise as Kim began unbuttoning her pants. He averted his eyes as Kim pulled down her pants. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kim bend down over Shego, though he couldn't tell what she was doing.

"There." Kim said after a few moments. "Get a picture of that," she instructed him, rubbing at her fingers with a handkerchief. Ron, frowning, did as he was told.

The next morning, Shego sat on the bunk in her prison cell, trying to hold her splitting head together with her hands. There was a sharp tap on the cell door, which sent stabbing pains through her bruised brain.

The specially-designed slot in the cell door opened, and something dropped in. After a few minutes, Shego dared to open her eyes. The light hurt, but she wanted to know what they had decided to bring her.

A newspaper? What possible reason would she have to read the news? Picking the paper up, she glanced at the front page and froze, staring at a full-page picture of herself.

She looked horrible, the right side of her face already swollen and purpling. And there, stuffed between her slack lips, with its string dangling down her chin, was a swollen, bloody tampon.