Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of its characters. They belong to Anno and his crew at Gainax.
Shinji Ikari walked alone on the shores of the lake, created by the self destruction of Evangelion Unit 00. He remembered how when he walked on these shores before, he saw the figure of Kaworu Nagisa, quietly humming the melody from Beethoven's 9th Symphony, the Ode to Joy. Looking out onto the lake, he remembered that there used to be a colossal city in its place, built upon technology and science. Now, there was none of this. It was all gone, like footprints in the sand, washed away by the tide.
As well as this, he could barely speak to Misato now and he was sure it was his fault that she could no longer relate to him. Shinji knew that Kaji was dead and he knew that Misato was aggrieved due to that yet Shinji still felt that he could blame himself for Misato's state of mind. Asuka was in a hospital deep in a catatonic state, unresponsive to anyone and anything. Shinji felt like running to Asuka, to tell her that he needed her. However, there was no point. He should have said those things to her when he had the chance. Now, if he said anything to Asuka, he would receive no response. It was too late.
Along with that, Shinji discovered the true nature of Rei Ayanami. He discovered that Rei Ayanami was simply a clone who was replaceable. What was even more disturbing was the fact that she was partly cloned from Shinji's own mother. Shinji had never understood why he was so compelled towards her before but now he knew why. It was also that knowledge that repelled him from Rei now. He couldn't even begin to imagine what he would say to her. The last time Shinji conversed with Rei was after she had been found alive after Unit 00 self-destructed. That was before Dr Ritsuko Akagi showed both Misato and he the room where the spare Reis where kept. From then on, Shinji could barely even look at Rei without being reminded of the horrible images of the spare Reis breaking up and decomposing right in front of his eyes.
And then there was Shinji's father. Ever since Gendo Ikari had forced Shinji to attack Toji, he knew there was no turning back for his father. Shinji knew that his father ordered that activation of the dummy plug. Shinji knew that he had nothing to do with it. However, once again Shinji found it convenient to blame himself and also to blame his father. He declared that he hated his father that day and that he was willing to kill him, yet now Shinji wasn't so sure. Did he really have it in him to kill his own father, regardless of what he had been through? Shinji really didn't know.
Shinji didn't know about anything anymore. He just felt like wasting away and dying slowly and painfully. He did not want death to be quick. He did not want his death to be free from pain. He wanted death to torture him, to play games with him and to make it painful as possible. Shinji wanted to return to nothing. There was nothing left for Shinji. His friends were gone. Rei was a creation of others. Asuka was comatose. Misato couldn't look him in the eye. His father managed to show more neglect and contempt for Shinji than ever before. Shinji had nothing. Everything he once knew was swept away from in front of his eyes.
"I have nothing," Shinji muttered, in between tears that flowed off his face and into the waters of the crater that once was the city of Tokyo-3. Shinji then looked up into the clear blue sky that housed a peace and tranquillity which was overshadowed by the death and destruction down on the ground. Shinji continued to stare up at the sky and began to wonder about the stories about heaven and God. Was there really a God, Shinji began to ask himself. However, he was quick to answer his own questions. "No, there is no God," Shinji said bitterly. "No God would ever do this, not to anyone."
Shinji stood still, watching clouds slowly ease by in the sky. However, there were no birds or any discernable sounds created by animals. Even the ever present cicadas seemed to be barely audible from the scene. "If there is a God," Shinji continued, speaking to no one in particular, not even himself, "then he must have a cruel sense of humour, making the skies so blue over such a horrible place. This place only reminds me of pain and death. Why would God do something like this if he really existed? Why did he make me go through everything I did?" Shinji put his hands in his pocket and violently kicked at the sand. "If I were God, I wouldn't let anyone go through what I did," Shinji muttered.
"Is that so?" asked a voice from behind Shinji. The boy snapped his head around and found nobody to be there. Shinji scanned up to the horizon in that direction and soon assumed that he had just heard that voice and that it was all in his head. "Hey son, behind you," said that same voice. Shinji turned around once again toward the giant water filled crater. This time, he saw a man standing ankle deep in the water. He was black, in his mid sixties and was wearing a white suit. He also had an uncanny resemblance to Morgan Freeman.
"Would you care to join me for a walk, Shinji?" he asked.
"How do you…how do you know my name?" Shinji said, stuttering slightly as he did.
The old man chuckled and said, "Let's just say Shinji, that I know quite a lot of things. Anyway, are you still up for that walk or am I just going to stand here in the water getting my feet all wrinkly?"
"Ah...!" Shinji said, moving forward hastily to join the man. "Uh, okay, I'll join you."
The man set off to his left and Shinji walked beside him, not quite knowing why he was walking with him and not quite knowing who this man was. "Who are you?" Shinji inquired as he walked with the man at a leisurely pace.
"Well, I don't tend to give my identity out freely," the man said with another chuckle. "But here's a clue. Everybody knows me."
"Everybody knows you?" Shinji said in a confused tone.
"That's right," the man said. "Everybody knows me. Not for the right reasons in many cases, but everybody knows me nonetheless."
"I don't know where to start," Shinji sighed. "Are you a politician?"
The old black man stopped walking and burst out into laughter, having to bend down and put his hands on his knees because he was laughing so hard. "Haha! That was a good one Shinji!" he said. "I'm not quite a politician, but that was a very good guess! Jeez, I haven't laughed like that in a while!"
"I don't know then," Shinji said. "Who would everybody know?"
"I don't know. You tell me!"
"I'm trying to think…but it's kind of a hard time for me at the moment," Shinji explained. "Everything is so confusing…I can't even think straight."
"Yes, Shinji, I know you've been through a lot, with Evangelion and all," the man noted.
Shinji snapped his head around to face the man and Shinji's face bore an expression of pure surprise. "You know about Eva?!" Shinji exclaimed.
"I already said I know quite a lot of things, didn't I?" the old man said with the remnants of the laughter from Shinji's suggestion that he was a politician.
"Yeah, but that doesn't explain how you know about Eva," Shinji pointed out.
"And how I know about Misato, Asuka, Rei, Toji, Kaworu and your father and mother?" the man added.
Shinji stopped dead in his tracks. "You know about everything, don't you?" he asked.
"I know everything about you, Shinji, right from when you were conceived. I know everything about your mother and father, about Misato, Asuka, Rei, everybody," the man said. "Any clue who I am yet?"
"I still have no idea…am I dreaming or something?" Shinji said in a state of utter confusion.
"No, don't worry, you're not dreaming," the man said, reassuring the boy. "Shinji, I am God."
Shinji wasn't so sure of that. "So wait, you're saying you're God?" he asked. "How come you look like Morgan Freeman?"
"You know how they said I created man in my image? Well, I created Morgan Freeman almost exactly in my image," God chuckled.
"I'm still not so sure," Shinji continued. "How am I sure that you're not just Morgan Freeman?"
"Because Morgan Freeman can't do this," said God. He snapped his fingers and suddenly Shinji found himself standing in the golden sands of a Caribbean island. Shinji's jaw was then literally hanging open. "Pretty neat, huh?" God chuckled.
"Okay, I think I'm convinced," Shinji said, struggling to keep his mouth shut.
"That's good," God said. "Feel free to kick your shoes off and walk into the water. It's absolutely splendid this time of year."
Shinji didn't see any reason not to, so he removed his shoes and walked out into the ocean water, feeling the gentle waves brush over his ankles. Even the sand felt soft and inviting. "Wow! The water's so warm," Shinji exclaimed.
"It's sweet, huh?" God said, walking out into the water with Shinji. "Several thousand miles in that direction is America. Even further away in that direction is Africa. If you go up the way a bit you'll find Europe."
"And you could take us there in an instant?" Shinji inquired.
"Yup. I don't even have to snap my fingers. I just do that for effect. Moses was particularly impressed by that," God said.
Shinji laughed as he ran about the water, kicking the crystal clear water up into the humid, tropical air as he ran. He seemed to have forgotten about his troubles but then again, not many people are greeted randomly by God. "I'm glad to see you enjoying yourself, Shinji," God said.
"Thanks," Shinji said. "You know, I just don't know what to say about meeting God, to be honest."
"You don't have to say anything, Shinji. I'm just a regular guy…sort of," God chuckled.
"Why…why did you come and speak to me?" Shinji asked.
"Well, isn't it obvious?" God asked back.
"Uh…well…no it isn't really," Shinji answered.
"Well, think about what you were saying before I came and dropped by," God said.
"I was…talking about how there wasn't really a God," Shinji replied.
"And?" God said, gesturing to get Shinji to continue by spinning his right forearm.
"And that if I was God I wouldn't let anyone go through anything I did," Shinji said.
"Bingo!" God cried with a smile. "Hit the nail on the head there."
"So was that why you came to me?" Shinji asked.
"Not really. I get that all the time," God replied. "But I was drawn to you Shinji. You had been through quite a bit, more than your average fourteen year old. You were tasked to defend humanity, yet also unknowingly progress the Earth toward Third Impact."
"I was what?!" Shinji exclaimed.
"You didn't know it, but your father and a group of men known as SEELE had planned to start a Third Impact once the angels had all been defeated. Anyway, that's beside the point. You were tasked with piloting man's attempt at creating their own God and they dubbed it Evangelion. Because of Evangelion, you have suffered pain like no other. You watched your friends attacked by angels and even your own kind. You experienced more torment than most people would experience in their entire lives in a couple of months, yet you have never complained about me until that moment when everything was absolutely rock bottom for you. That made me curious and trust me; my curiosity is a hard thing to attract. You attracted my curiosity because you stood many times in the face of adversity and gritted your teeth through it all. You said you couldn't believe how I could put you through all of that? Well, I'm as guilty as charged. All the pain and suffering on this planet is my fault. The world was made imperfect and it was made imperfect for a reason. You can blame all your pain on me if you wish but it was just the way that I made mankind. After that, I kind of left mankind to its own devices, checking on them every now and then."
"So you let mankind run its course?" Shinji asked.
"Exactly, so everything that happens is my fault but the way I see it, imperfection is beauty. Would you not agree?"
"I guess so."
"So, here you are in a far from perfect world, nearly at your breaking point when you decide that if you were me, you wouldn't allow one person to go through what you did. I'm interested to see you do that, Shinji."
"You're what?!" Shinji exclaimed.
"You're going to take my job for a while. I need the holiday anyway," God reiterated.
"Wait just one second! What do you mean I'm going to take your job?!" Shinji cried.
"Well, you get all my powers and abilities and you get to do anything you want with them for the duration of my holiday. I'll even put you back in time a bit to make things easier for yourself, which is something I don't usually do," God explained.
"You're sending me back in time?!"
"Yup," God said with a toothy smile. "That is, if you agree to take up my job."
"I…I…I'll do it!" Shinji said with utter determination.
"That's great Shinji," God said with a sigh of relief. "My job was getting quite hard as well, what with Second Impact and the angel attacks. A lot to look out for. Anyway, good luck with everything Shinji. I'll be back when I'm back."
"Thanks a lot God," Shinji said, moving up to shake hands with God.
"If you need to reach me, you know how."
"Wait! I don't know! How do I reach you?"
"Just pray Shinji…just pray."
Shinji awoke and found himself under a familiar ceiling, which was a pleasant change. It was both his and Asuka's room conjoined, seemingly at the time that they were fighting the 7th angel, the one that could split into two. Shinji found it strange to be back at a time where he had little worries in comparison to what he would be bound to face. However, at the same time, he still had a niggling doubt that what he just experienced was all just a dream. One giant figment of his imagination. Despite his doubts, the fact that the time spanning from his arrival at Tokyo-3 to the point he met God was implanted clearly in his memory and that it seemed to take months was testament to the fact that it hadn't all been a dream.
Shinji didn't feel like getting up and continued to lie there, staring up at the ceiling. Everything should have seemed surreal and out of place but rather to the contrary, everything seemed real and right. Shinji felt right at home lying down with the covers down at his knees, his head on the pillow and his right hand on Asuka's left boob.
My right hand on Asuka's left boob? Wait…that can't be right! Shinji thought, his brain suddenly going into overdrive. However, it was far too late. "Ah…morning," Asuka muttered before she felt a light pressure on a certain part of her anatomy. The right thing to have done was to pretend to be asleep but Shinji couldn't think quickly enough. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT??" Asuka roared before unleashing the fury upon the boy.
After receiving sixty-eight thousand of the best, Shinji was tossed head first out of the front door of Misato's flat with blood pouring out every possible place and his face purple from the bruising. "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING BACK UNTIL I'M READY TO NOT BE MAD AT YOU!!" Asuka screamed before slamming the door shut.
"Argh…" Shinji moaned in absolute agony. "I wish the pain would go away."
And just like that, the pain was gone. Shinji lay there, slightly confused that he no longer felt the sheer burning sensations that his body would register to his brain to tell him that he had been maimed. It was all gone. Shinji stood up and brushed himself off and wondered if this had anything to do with his conversation with God. To find out, Shinji set off on a trek about Tokyo-3.
Shinji began to walk down into town and couldn't be bothered making the effort to walk. As he trudged on, he hoped that someone he knew passed by him and gave him a lift. Before he knew it, he heard the deep growling of a mid-engine sports car to his right. "Hey Shinji! Kaji here! You going into town? If you are, then I'll give you a run in!" Shinji ran and hopped into the passenger side of Kaji's car and once he was sat with his seatbelt on, he smiled deviously.
Shinji felt hungry after Kaji had dropped him off and went into a local restaurant for some breakfast. Shinji ordered the most expensive breakfast on the menu along with a double espresso. He devoured his meal before awaiting the bill to see if it wasn't just good fortune on his part for everything that had happened so far. "Thank you for eating with us, sir," said the waiter. "Here is the bill." The waiter placed it front of Shinji. Shinji, on the other hand, looked up at the waiter with a certain thought in mind.
Before he knew it, the manager, a plump man with a balding head of hair and a face that easily went red was stood next to the waiter, all cheery faced. "Hey, this kid must be the first costumer we've had all day! For that, we'll make your meal on the house, eh?" he declared. Shinji smiled, knowing that he was all powerful and omnipotent.
Shinji walked outside with a full belly and as he walked past a fire hydrant, he pointed at it. The hydrant then burst and water was sent flying into the air, all over the white t-shirt of a very good looking female university student with a rather large bust. At the same moment, she walked over an open manhole and her skirt was blown up, forcing her to try and keep it down. Shinji turned around and saw the girl and smiled before heading off again.
Shinji was really getting into being all powerful. He walked with a new sense of confidence in his step and could smile easily now with his new power. He walked along the street, smiling as he passed people who smiled back freely. Shinji was sure that things were really in for a change.
"Someone! Help! That thief has my purse!" cried a woman. Shinji looked to his left and saw a rather attractive damsel in distress, in the same league as Misato, running after a man in a balaclava. The thief had the woman's purse tucked under his armpit as he ran towards Shinji. The thief was about to run past Shinji when Shinji stuck his arm out and clothes-lined the thief, sending him back flipping into the ground. Shinji's arm was still outstretched where it was with the purse gripped in his hand.
"Oh my god! Thank you so much! How could I ever repay you?!" the woman said as she took her purse back into her possession.
"Oh, there's no need," Shinji said in his most manly, superhero-esc voice.
"You're so kind!" the woman said. All of a sudden, she placed two hands on either of Shinji's cheeks before drawing him in for a giant smooch on the lips. "There you go! It's hardly thanks enough but you have my gratitude," the woman said.
"It's more than enough, ma'am," Shinji said, wondering how that woman ended up kissing him out of her own accord. Shinji had used his power to stop the thief but everything that followed happened on its own. He smiled once more before continuing with his day.
Shinji amused himself as he went by testing out his powers. For instance, he passed a couple in the park making out on a bench. As he walked by, he made the bench snap, just to see how the couple reacted. Shinji struggled to contain his laughter at certain moments like that. Shinji also got free ice-cream from a vendor as well, using his powers for his own gain just at the moment. He was loving it. Everything was made so simple and easy. People would be nice to him even if he hadn't wanted them to in the first place. Shinji thanked God once again for the fortune as he prepared to head back. However, he stopped by a florist's shop and eyed up a bouquet of red roses. "Hey buddy, you like those roses?" the shop owner asked.
"Yeah, actually," Shinji replied, before letting his powers do the rest.
"You know, just take 'em. Give 'em to that special person in your life," the shop owner said, all smiles.
"Oh, wow! Thanks a lot!" Shinji said, smiling because his powers had worked once again.
When he arrived back at Misato's flat, he saw that Asuka was in her room as she had the door locked and a sign saying, 'DO NOT ENTER. IF YOU ENTER AND YOUR NAME IS SHINJI, YOU WILL DIE'. Shinji shrugged his shoulders and went about preparing lunch. "Hmm," Shinji thought aloud. "What could I prepare?" He then laughed, rather maniacally, before beginning to prepare a German style buffet for Asuka. However, it proved to be monotonous, so he sped up the process slightly by making his arms work twice as fast. Before he knew it, Shinji had prepared a proper German style buffet with the table set. He had the bouquet of roses on Asuka's side of the table. Everything was set. All that was needed was Asuka.
As Shinji approached her door, he decided that he would not use his powers and let Asuka think for herself. It would be unfair on her if he made her forgive him. He approached Asuka's door and with each step, got more nervous. Each step made him more and more uneasy. He felt the first sweat bead begin to trickle down his face as he got within a metre of the door. He felt his throat become dry and his hands begin to clam up. It was no wonder as well because that morning, Asuka had beat Shinji to within an inch of his life. Who was to say that she wouldn't just plant a punch right into Shinji's face without warning as soon as Shinji opened the door?
Well, it was risk that Shinji was willing to take…kind of. Before he knew it, Shinji was stood right in front of Asuka's door. His right hand slowly formed a fist and prepared to knock on the door of the lioness's den. His arm shook as he raised it, just reminding Shinji of how nervous he actually was. He took one deep breath, swallowed hard and crossed the fingers of his left hand before knocking the door.
"What is it?!" asked the annoyed voice of Asuka from within her lair.
"Um, lunch is ready," Shinji said in a voice that resembled a whisper, but not quite as loud.
"I SAID WHAT IS IT?!" Asuka raged, making Shinji literally jump about a metre back.
"Lunch is ready!" Shinji cried, much like a little girl.
Before he knew it, Asuka's door was open. And boy, did she look pissed off. She looked Shinji in the eyes with an expression that would have brought any exorcist to their knees, begging for a fair judgement after the demon ate them whole. She edged up to Shinji and Shinji edged back for fear of his own life. Asuka grunted and Shinji screamed in a pitch too high for a boy of his age and leapt backwards like a frightened gazelle. Asuka continued to approach Shinji, her enraged eyes locked onto Shinji's whimpering, cowardly body. Shinji continued to move back as Asuka approached, like a tiger on the prowl, slowly stalking its prey into a corner where it would be trapped, open to attack. Shinji made a big deal of her animal like state. DOES SHE THINK I'M LUNCH?? Shinji cried in his mind.
Asuka took one big step forward and Shinji leapt up and grabbed a hold of the light hanging from the ceiling. Asuka was about to rip him down from the light and main him once again like he deserved for placing his hands anywhere near her perfect body when she saw the meal laid out on the table. She saw the roses and she immediately recognised the meal to be the cuisine of her home country. Suddenly, her expression changed. Her evil and violent animal-like demeanour was gone. She was instantly calmed, as if the beast within her had been hit by a tranquiliser dart.
"Shinji?" Asuka asked.
"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yeah?" Shinji whimpered, stilling hanging from the light.
"Did you make this?" Asuka inquired.
"Um, y-y-yeah," Shinji replied.
"And did you get me these flowers?" Asuka asked next.
"Yeah," Shinji answered, slowly making his way off of the light, feeling that his weight was about to rip the fixture out of the ceiling.
Shinji stood up and watched Asuka look over the food on the table and then the flowers. He must have counted as she scanned over everything no less than three times. Then she turned around, giving Shinji a fright. She didn't look anything like she had before when it looked like she was going to eat him but she didn't look happy either. She walked up to Shinji and the boy felt as if his legs were stuck in cement that had just set. He could not for the life of him move.
Asuka raised her hand and Shinji closed his eyes, expecting an impending fist. He waited and waited but the punch didn't seem to come. Instead, he felt Asuka's right hand softly caress his cheek. When he opened his eyes, he felt Asuka's lips on his right cheek, giving him a quick peck. She quickly pulled back and Shinji saw that she was blushing. "That was…that was sweet Shinji," Asuka said, looking around the room everywhere except right in Shinji's eyes, clearly showing she was slightly nervous. "You're a total idiot and a loser for what you did this morning but I forgive you. The meal and the flowers, it was really sweet."
Shinji could not believe what he was hearing. Did Asuka just say that Shinji had done something sweet? Shinji covertly pinched himself on the ass just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He felt the pain. He sure wasn't dreaming. "Well, what are we waiting for?" Asuka said, in a sudden change of tone. "Let's eat!"
"Yeah," Shinji said, "let's eat."
"Wow! You two really aced that routine!" said a very impressed Misato Katsuragi. Shinji and Asuka had just demonstrated their ability to perform the choreographed battle sequence with an audience. Rei, Hikari, Toji and Kensuke were all present. "Very impressive," Hikari added, giving the two her approval through applause.
"Shinji seems to be getting awful close to the demon," Toji muttered.
"Yeah, but you have to admit, they did that routine perfectly," Kensuke pointed out.
"That might be a sign that the devil is slowly taking over our friend!" Toji said.
"Don't say things like that!" Hikari snapped.
"Who are you to tell me what to say and what not to say?!" Toji bellowed.
Soon, it all descended into all out chaos with Shinji and Asuka looking over it all and shaking their heads. Rei remained indifferent to all that occurred. Shinji then thought of something that would really shut them all up. As Toji and Hikari argued with Kensuke failing miserably as a mediator, Pen-Pen waddled up to the table and said, "Wark!" to catch the attention of everybody. It then reached out with its flipper for Misato's can of beer, lifted it up off of the table and began to drink it.
"What kind of penguin…drinks beer?!" Toji exclaimed.
"Hey, hang on a second! That's MY BEER!" Misato cried before entering a royal rumble with the penguin for the ultimate prize of a half drunk can of beer. Shinji and Asuka couldn't help but laugh at the spectacle of pet versus owner and Shinji made it so that even Rei joined in laughing which was the next shock to everybody.
All faces were traced onto Rei. "What?" was the blue haired girl's indignant response to everyone's stares.
"Ayanami, you just laughed!" Kensuke pointed out.
"And?" Rei asked next.
"Well…it's just…oh, to hell with it! Rei can laugh if she wants!" Toji declared.
"Hear, hear! Misato cheered after lifting her beer can right up into the air with the penguin still attached to it. Shinji smiled at his cunning and once again decided it was great being all powerful.
It was soon the last night before they would embark on the operation. Shinji had memories of the last time he had lived through this. They generally were not good and involved angst. Angst was a word no longer in Shinji's dictionary. "Where's Misato?" Asuka inquired.
"She's working late!" Shinji replied.
"So we're home alone tonight?"
As Shinji remembered, Asuka lifted up her covers and went to her own room and dropped the covers there. She then closed off the wall before opening it again. Asuka was on all fours and a considerable amount of her cleavage was on show. "This is the impenetrable Wall of Jericho, Shinji. If you dare…" Asuka said before Shinji stopped paying attention. He was staring down her top, as perverted that may have been. He was wondering what it would have been like if Asuka's breasts had been bigger and all of a sudden, he watched Asuka's breasts increase in size ever so slightly.
Asuka stopped mid sentence and looked down her top and sized her breasts up with her hands. "Is it just me or are my boobs bigger?" she asked. Shinji was about to have a fit from excessive exposure to Asuka being so goddamn hot when Asuka realised her company. "Oh yeah…Shinji…YOU IDIOT!!" Asuka cried, sending a pillow at several hundred miles an hour at Shinji's stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He regained his wind using his powers but still, he never expected Asuka's boobs to grow upon him thinking about it. Shinji decided that he had to be careful what he thought about because his powers might just get the better of him.
Shinji stood up and knocked on the door which separated him and Asuka. It was snapped opened by an annoyed German redhead who looked ready to kill. "What?!" she snapped.
"I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for being an idiot," Shinji said. "I know I should have been looking. I'm sorry." Asuka gave Shinji a shove back so that he fell backwards onto his ass. Asuka then chuckled and said, "It's okay, you're forgiven. Good night."
"Uh, good night!" Shinji replied before Asuka closed the door off. Then he wondered if it had always been that easy to secure Asuka's forgiveness. With that thought, the omnipotent and all powerful Shinji went to bed.
"This is it," said Misato, overlooking all of the other NERV staff on the command bridge. "You two understand the operation?" Misato inquired.
"Yes ma'am!" both Shinji and Asuka replied.
"Okay, the angel is approaching. Get ready to launch!" Misato ordered.
Inside Eva Unit 01, Shinji was intending to use his powers to make this fight as easy as humanly possible. Or as Godly possible, in his case. Shinji smiled at the thought and prepared himself for the launch of his Evangelion. "Hey Shinji, you ready for this?" Asuka asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Shinji replied. "You?"
"Just think about who you're asking!" Asuka snapped.
"Okay, sorry, bad question," Shinji said.
There was a moments silence before Asuka said, "To answer your question, then yes, I am ready."
"That's good to hear," Shinji said.
"Damn right it is! Now let's get this thing over with!" Asuka said.
"Angel in sight, Captain Katsuragi!" said Makoto Hyuga.
"Good! Eva Units 01 and 02, LAUNCH!" Misato cried.
Shinji and Asuka were propelled into the air as the music began in a big flurry of notes. They then went to ground, delivering a kick to the angel, knowing that this would split it in two. However, after that kick, the angel toppled over backwards, as one, dead. The music screeched to a halt and Misato was stood with her jaw open. "What…the…fuc-" she began to say.
"Angel is dead!" Makoto interjected with a massive sweat drop over his head, having barely stopped Misato swearing in the presence of the deputy commander.
"The angel is…dead?" Asuka asked.
"As a doornail," Shigeru Aoba replied.
"I can't believe it. It was that easy?" Asuka asked, slightly annoyed.
"I guess so," Shinji said, smiling to himself, knowing that he had made the angel as brittle as an egg for the purposes of this angel battle. It made his life easier and everyone else's life easier as well. "Well, I better tell Kaji that there wasn't much point to that choreographed routine," Misato said in absolute bewilderment.
"I guess, but look at the bright side," Ritsuko said. "The angel was easily disposed of. Easy battles are good battles, right?"
"Yup. Thank God for that as well," Misato muttered.
Shinji smiled when Misato said that.
And on a beach in Hawaii, God leaned back in his recliner and smiled as Shinji smiled. "Knock 'em dead, kid," he chuckled as he sipped juice out of a hollowed coconut and went about relaxing and taking it easy. Even God needs a holiday every now and then, right?