Author's Note: To all women everywhere! Now, obviously this is a men's bachelor party and as such, I heartily apologize in advance for anything that may come from this tale of debauchery that may offend you. Especially the word 'boobs'. Or 'honkers'. Or...

Author's Note 2: Oh, by the way, I'm on MSN instant messenger now (, so drop me a line whenever I'm, wait, yeah, that's right...

Author's Note 3: And while I'm here, I just want to spread some praise where it is deserved to some of MY favorite recent gargoyle authors and those who have also taken the time to write me. Allaine and Silverbolt, Firedancer and Chyna Rose, and of course, those two who help keep the Goliath/Elisa romance alive, Jenigoyle and Denigoddess. Keep up the awesome work...and thank you.

66 - "Last Day of Freedom"

February 11th, 2002
It washed over frozen guardians of honor and darkness, an unceasing evening tide, unwavering from it's destination and an ancient purpose. The clan of Wyvern were cast in frightening repose, until released from their prison with the onset of darkness, where as the sun faded from view and it's warmth, though bare and desperately grasping in such a frigid season, died away. It was a peculiar sound, rarely heard in this fusion of urban discord, except for above the drifting clouds, where came the tiniest of cracks forming on smooth, black granite.

Tearing his way from a shell formed of his rugged features, Goliath screamed to the stars and shook his mighty form free of any lasting debris. And deliberately, did he drop to the level below, facing his clan with but a silent, knowing gesture. The males all looked at each other, most trying severely to conceal their excitement. Goliath motioned with a flick of his talons and they fell into place, forming a line behind as they headed towards the door leading inside.

"Where are you going?!" snapped Sata, as she and the rest of the abandoned females were left near the perches, crossed arms and a temperamental facade coalesced into one searing glare.

Only Brooklyn stopped, allowing the males to enter inside. He looked over each awaiting female, and simply crowned his beak into a crooked grin. He left them only a reply of exasperating silence, before pulling the massive door closed behind him.

Annika, standing within the midst of her female companions, gritted her fanged teeth and lay ablaze her eyes with crimson fury, until censuring herself, knowing she had allowed this to happen, knowing Todd wanted this party, and knowing she would have to bear through this night with an ever adamant resolve. "I'm not going to kill him...I'm not going to kill him..."


"This is idiotic." he hissed, adjusting the rubber mounds strapped securely to his head. "I could be filling my time with a much more productive activity. Why did I ever agree to..."

"Just go with it, Shadow." Broadway minded him, while ensuring his toga was settled both comfortably and correctly over his girth. "Besides," he shot a second glance towards the dark warrior, complete in ivory robe suspended from one shoulder, and the imitation rubber breasts poking out from just behind his brow spurs, "you look good in a toga."

"And huge tits on your head." Brooklyn added, seeing the others in full regalia, preparing for the celebration. Even Goliath, and the oft-stoic Othello, had adorned the breasts, strapped around their jutting chins with resistant bands. "Now, my brothers in debauchery and indulgence. Are we ready for a night you shall never forget? Or, of course, you might never remember..."

"I suppose so..." Goliath answered cautiously, perhaps only here to see Todd wholly embarrassed on his few remaining days as a single man. The lavender giant unconsciously caressed the breasts atop his long, sable hair, though amusingly reminded of his wife. "I hope."

"Then let's go."


Opening the door to the media room, now treated as if a lost tomb of treasure and riches, and where their night would begin. Instantly, did the gargoyles' powerful sense of smell direct ravenous eyes towards a long banquet table, piled high with food of every imaginable flavor and thickness of sauces and inevitably heart-clogging grease.

"Greetings, gentlemen." came a voice from behind the pile of barbecued chicken wings, as Xanatos made his way around the table, his toga and rubber breasts presented in perfect form, the billionaire humorously devouring a common slice of pizza, and carrying a mug of beer in his free hand. "Judging by your presence, your ridiculous attire to match my own, and of course, the considerably angered scowl etched on Shadow's face, I suppose it's already sunset."

Broadway stomped forth, eyeing the table and apparently having difficulty choosing which food to dive into first. "Oh boy..."

"Hey, guys!" The gargoyles all turned to see a young man pop up from behind the seldom used bar, now brought back into service for such a night. It was Crash, Todd's human friend, playing his role as bartender. "What can I get for ya?"

Lexington was first to hop to a stool, his breasts wobbling with the sudden movement and eventually swaying to a stop. "I'll have a Flaming Orgasm."

"He'll have a what?" Shadow whispered to Othello.

"One Flaming Orgasm...coming up." Crash ducked beneath the bar surface of black marble, swirled with milky whirlpools of ivory inlay. Suddenly, the dark chestnut-skinned youth popped back up and slammed down a beer mug, and pulled the hose from the keg, filling the glass almost to the top, where the suds barely rimmed the edge and tipped over. He then brought out another shot glass, filled it with a dark rum, and set it aflame with his lighter. The others watched in awe as he casually slid both glasses towards the web-wing, and Lexington captured them in his talons, mindful of the lapping flames pouring from the liquor. He dropped the shot glass into the beer, instantly sinking to the bottom and dousing the flame in a final spattering of curling pungent fumes. He then tipped the mug towards his mouth and finished off the drink in mere seconds.

"Mmmmm..." Lexington sighed in satisfaction, licking his lips. "Orgasmatastic."

"And for the others?" Crash swept his smooth dialect, born from the city streets, to the others, and they approached.

"Ale, laddie." Hudson demanded fiercely, intent on using tonight to drown his sorrows in the embrace of a sweetened brew. "Use th' biggest glass ye have, an' keep it comin'."

"And for you, big, tall and gruesome-looking?" he said, directing both his eyes and his question towards Shadow's impressive height, biting his lower lip in seeing the ninja's fraudulent breasts jiggle with each step, hoping even a small chuckle would not leak out. "How 'bout a Flying Fuck?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sit On My Face?"

"How dare you!"

"Ah," Crash leaned against the bar, bobbing his eyebrows and giving the massive gargoyle perhaps the wrong idea, "then maybe just a Slow Comfortable Screw Against The Wall?"

"That does it!!" Shadow reached forwards to rend his talons into fragile human flesh, until Goliath's hand quickly clamped down on dark hide, stopping the ninja's claws inches from Crash's neck.

"He is obviously listing names of popular drinks..." Goliath soothed him, with Crash nodding, his life spared for the moment, lest a mouth like Todd's cause him more trouble and strife then he ever bargained for. Shadow relented, feeling more foolish now then when forced to attach a woman's bosom to his head, as Goliath turned towards the tender of the bar for his own order. "I shall have a Tight Snatch, Crash."

"Your wife's downstairs."

"Careful." Goliath warned severely against the human's witticism, allowing of such jokes this evening except against that of his mate.

"All right. No jokes to large gargoyle leaders. One Tight Snatch, coming up."

"Coming??! Ha ha ha ha ha..." Brooklyn bellowed near the table, with Broadway nearly spitting out the barbecued chicken in the crude jest.

Goliath shook his head, while watching his drink being prepared before astonished eyes, the human skilled in mixing spirits to form wondrous drinks, masterpieces if only to be swallowed in a single mouthful.

"How do you know of such a drink, Goliath?" Xanatos asked of the clan leader, coming up beside him.

"That enternet..." Goliath answered, rolling the enlarged highball glass across his lips and slipping the sweet-smelling liquor down his throat. "It truly is an exhaustible source of valuable information."


"That is what I said."

"You have great skill in mixing drinks, Crash." Othello mentioned while placing his Creamy Bush to dusty blue lips of a true aficionado, and of course, seeing Shadow test his Sex Machine, reacting to the liquid broth as if poison at first, though seeming to enjoy the flavor when tipping the glass back.

"Well, I had room for an extra class in university," Crash started, while pouring himself a mug of beer, "and decided to take mixology one oh one. Damn!" the youth screamed vigorously. "Now that was a kick-ass class! All you do is mix drinks and get wasted."

"Seems a waste of your parents' well-earned money." Goliath breathed, almost a hint of humor on his hardened brogue.

"Eh..." he shrugged. "They're loaded."

"All right, reprobates!!" yelled Brooklyn, calling to attention all gathered there. "Take your places around the great table of destined heart-attack." They complied, all with drink in hand, surrounding the masses of food, and taking the chance to grab what cuisine lay in front of them, either potato skins smothered in cheddar cheese, nachos and chips, or a massive slice of pepperoni pizza baked into the shape of women's breasts, the main theme of this entire night. "It is time..." He drifted towards another door, and stood rigidly, as if expecting royalty to breeze through the wooden portal. "Stand straight, maggots!!" he howled, feigning anger and disgust. They did so, if only to play along and see what Brooklyn had planned. "Now raise your drinks to the master of disaster, the greatest party animal of all New York, and he who is about to lose his balls to the woman with breasts greater, and might I add larger, than that of the moon and sun! One last night, will he be remembered as the man we once knew, before he is chained forever to fair princess Annika!"

"What is he babbling about?" Shadow whispered, as Xanatos hushed him, enjoying the show playing out before him.

"Show your respect, you lowly bastards...for the Grand Boobus." Brooklyn opened the door, and instantly bowed down to a robed figure standing in silhouette just outside.

The others watched as Todd entered slowly, his rubber breasts larger than anyone else's, standing proud from his hair, and humorously painted a familiar pink. His robe lay over his shoulders, a deep velvet red and emblazoned upon the back, a symbol, an artist's rendition of a woman's chest.

"It's the Grand Boobus..." Broadway whispered in counterfeit admiration, with Lexington alongside his larger brother laughing under his breath. "Ooooooohhh..."

"This is ridiculous." Shadow wheezed, scraping talons over a disgusted facade.

"Silence!!" Brooklyn ordered, censuring Shadow and abruptly forcing the ninja to submit.

They watched him take his place to a mock-throne at the head of the table, completely dressed, draped in discarded bras and panties of the largest sizes available, colors of light pink, yellow, blue and white, and a few wild animal prints as well. Todd allowed Brooklyn, acting as his loyal servile, to hand him his drink. It was his own concoction, an aptly-named Horny Gargess, born from every conceivable liquor made, and a splash of pink lemonade for just the right coloring. "My subjects..." Todd greeted his friends, then forced the drink down his throat, and nearly toppled in the cresting aftereffect, as if a fire had streaked across his tongue and down his throat. "" It seemed to work admirably, granting the same consequence when Annika had finished with him under the sheets.

"Your staff, m'lord." Brooklyn handed him a long wooden staff, with a massive, rubber penis and testicles attached to the top, quivering slightly with each jostle. "If anyone dare refuse you or any wish, my liege, then they shall suffer the consequences of...kissing the penis."

"Nice touch."

"I thought so." he answered the crowned king. And as Todd shook furiously his new toy, dancing hypnotically upon it's shaft with a merriment like that of his breasts and attracting his attention like a child drawn to a new toy, Brooklyn reached from behind the throne and brought out a barely human-shaped inflatable doll. Blond hair, massive breasts, and an open and obscenely inviting mouth, it was every man's wet dream cast in pliable latex, a realism far beyond normal due to the silent power of wealth. "Now I present...your queen."

"Dude, what the hell is this?" Todd quipped, seeing the doll being thrust towards him.

"You dare speak that way of Queen Rachel, the Duchess of Great Head?! How dare you!!" He forced the doll into his arms, ensuring it was secured to him. "You cannot remove yourself from her presence at any time, even when taking a piss, or thou shalt suffer the gravest of punishments...being stripped to your bare flesh and being fed your own staff between your buttocks!"


"Hey," he softened his tone somewhat, "just don't lose her..."

"Well, at least it's not a inflatable sheep." Todd sighed, curling an arm around his bride and matriarch for the night. "Mixing alcohol and livestock isn't a good idea when you're partying with gargoyles. Uh, no offense."

"None taken, you strategically-shaved monkey."

"You dare defy me, winged lizard?!!" Todd bellowed. "That's it! Kiss my penis!"

Brooklyn shook his head, backing away from the ever approaching phallus. "Sorry. I'm exempt. House rules..."

"I" Todd forced again, thinning his eyes to his unruly subject. "Lick it, and worship it."


"Dude!! Kiss my big, wobbly penis!!"


"Gentlemen," Xanatos calmed them both, having drifted beside them without barely a sound, "if you please. The movie is about to begin."

"Movie?" Todd brightened, knowing only one form of cinema that would ever be played here.

"Yes. I believe the first selection is called Big Mama Jama."

"Rock on..." Todd followed suit, trailing behind the others as they refilled their glasses from the bar, and then all hurriedly took a seat around the massive television, where already had the entire six foot screen become completely filled with two enormous globes of flesh, almost a three dimensional effect bursting out towards them. "All right, maggots," Todd announced from his royal seat in the middle of the couch, a beer in one hand and Queen Rachel held tightly in the other, "it's party time."


As if a crack of thunder had rolled across the sky, the ceiling trembled and shook with a roaring outburst, bringing her eyes up to bare witness to even the chandeliers shiver on their golden chains, and dislodge a few specks of dust. Annika heard them laugh and howl once more, and even through the thickness of the castle floor, did she pick out the loudest of them all, her future husband, to be mated to her in three days no less. "I'm not going to kill him...I'm not going to kill him..."

"I don't see why we are just sitting here while our mates have the time of their lives just above us..." complained Desdemona, directing her comment Annika's way. The others nodded their consent, the females having gathered in the room below and forced to sit quietly and allow the males just above them to drink, consume and berate each other until they perhaps lost consciousness. "It just seems...unfair."

"Very unfair." agreed Fox, sitting quietly on the end of the couch, with Elisa beside her, a somewhat wearied expression settled onto full lips and drowsy eyes.

Though content in Annika's decision, the detective perhaps would prefer to do anything but hear the animalistic grunting and growl and even the porno film being played upon the speakers at full volume, the gaudy music track and wild heathen screaming of the movie's star audible even through the reinforced ceiling. "I hope Goliath's behaving himself..."

"I am not lowering myself to their level." Annika hissed, though clenching her fists hard enough to nearly break the engagement ring from her middle finger.

"Well, I for one am not doing absolutely nothing while the guys have all the fun..." Fox lept up and sauntered over to the corner of the room, a direct and deliberate course, where she grabbed a wheeled cart having been previously covered with a sheet. "I would rather have some fun myself."

Annika eyed the cart being pushed towards her, and when Fox grabbed the sheet and tore it away, did eyes of sapphire ocean open wide to an entire stack of gifts. "Well..." she at last relented her stubborn attitude to the promise of an offering of riches bound in glittering paper. "This could be interesting..."


Hundreds of tiny pools glistened in the soft light and trembled with each subtle strike of the surface they rested upon, darkened broth and golden brew alike, awaiting in-between the platters of food and within their glass receptacles to be thoroughly devoured, but only when called upon. Back to their long table, the males had left behind over an hour of explicit pornography, fresh in their minds the three hundred pound star, yet still allowed the movies to play continuously in the background. It was now time for another venture, organized by he who no one would have ever guessed lay underneath the layer of unfeeling ice, a untamed spirit waiting to be unleashed.

"There is only one rule to this game, my friends," Othello remarked, while moving into view a massive, wooden wheel, with painted wedges sectioned into more than forty segments, scrawled with clear, black writing, "the last one conscious...wins. I shall spin the wheel, and if the section that comes up applies to you, you will consume a shotglass full of your respective intoxicant." He stared down all gathered there, seeing them eye their closest neighbor, silent gestures of power and bravado and a fulfillment of their own hearts and fortitude to last beyond anyone else. "We begin..." He spun the wheel, and watched it rotate at breakneck speed, until slowing and resting on a certain pie-shaped piece. "Hmmmm...interesting first selection, those who have slept with a human, please take a drink."

Goliath grumbled, hoping his brother had not rigged this game against him, and then swept back a shot of whiskey. Crash and Hudson had to slug a shot back as well, and Todd too, knowing his relationship with Kendra was public knowledge. And Shadow near the end, nearly crushing the glass in his anger.

Othello spun the wheel again. "Those who have been turned into a cyborg." Both he and Lexington took a drink, and slammed their shotglasses to the table, barely a few lasting beads of alcohol left to settle back into the bottom.

Again the wheel turned and stopped. "Those who have been sent through time." Both Brooklyn, Goliath and Xanatos were up this time, finishing their drinks without further complaint.

"Have come back from the dead." Othello again.

"Have ever tried to take over the world." Xanatos, with a knowing smile, with the others eyeing him carefully.

"Have facial hair." Hudson, Todd, and Crash filled their throats with burning whiskey, yet Shadow remained content with his quickly favored drink, his root beer schnapps.

"Have a tattoo." Todd and Shadow.

"Have ever kissed a redhead." Todd and Shadow, sheepishly, with the ninja becoming angered in the continual reminder of his transgression. Goliath too took a sip, though smaller than most.

"Have ever had sex with the daughter of Goliath." Broadway graciously took down his drink, with Goliath immediately crossing thinned, charcoal eyes to his rookery brother.

"Have battled villains in their attempt to destroy either the world or a certain species." The entire group, except for Crash, secretly praising his distance from such battles and war.

"Have a mate who screams their name during climax." Goliath, Todd, Brooklyn, Broadway, Xanatos, and Othello, with Lexington placing a well-formed scowl to his lips, cursing a certain Canadian gargoyle leader.

"Have a mate who enjoys...fellatio." They all paused at this one, until Goliath lead the charge, with Todd and Xanatos soon after and then, to Goliath's dismay, Broadway.

"HOW DARE YOU!!!" he screamed, rising to his feet and pointing a finger towards the burly gargoyle over the pile of barbecue pork ribs. "Turning my daughter into a common whore!!"

"It was our anniversary..." he explained timidly, his skin of aquamarine flushing a slight crimson shade. "She...surprised me. And what about Elisa?!"

"You leave my wife out of this!!"

"Hey, Angela's MY mate!!" he yelled back, gaining what courage he could to fend against the massive leader. "And whatever we do in the privacy of the bedroom is our business!"

Goliath stood even taller, inflamed by the alcohol running through his blood, and this young, brazen hatchling standing up to him and speaking so of his precious firstborn. "How would you enjoy having your tail shoved down your throat?"

"Probably with some barbecue sauce..." Brooklyn quipped, and Todd couldn't help but snicker into his queen's floating breast.

"You two are ruining the game." Othello asserted, though enjoying the sight of the entire throng holding both Goliath and Broadway back, the powerful narcosis of hard liquor beginning to affect their better judgment.

And once settled, came the chance to play on. Drink after drink, shot after shot, eventually draining their supply from the table, forcing them to refill at the bar time and time again. The game went on for yet another hour, with Othello barely able to stand, and becoming nauseous at watching the constantly revolving wheel, a dusty cerulean tint becoming tinged with olive green.

But it wasn't until an oddly, white-painted section came up on the latest turn, that Othello cocked a suspicious brow. "Hmmm, I d'not remember creating thish portion...anyone who has a penish longer than twelve inchesh, take a drink." Othello burned with anger, even as he slurred his words. "Deshdemona." Everyone looked around, each interested to see who would grab their glass. And of course, it would be Goliath, unable to force his smile down, and powerless to conceal his arrogant smirk. Todd as well attempted to drink, but with a silent glare from the lavender giant, did he place his glass back down to the table, defeated.

"Stupid gargoyles an' their humongous dongs..." the crowned king muttered.


"N'more...n'more..." Lexington wheezed, teetering on the brink of consciousness as the game progressed into it's final stages.

"Ach, laddies, ye be lightweights..." Hudson berated the younger generation, having outlasted the entire table, and helping himself to yet another mug of beer. The elder had practically come out the winner of this game, with the others staggering blindly and wavering back and forth in their chairs, leaving in their wake hundreds of empty shot glasses.


"C'mon, Shadow. Thish ish a bachelor party." Crash continued, forcing the dark warrior to keep consuming the alcohol. "Just another glassh."

Shadow wavered, and blinked his eyes, attempting to restore his severely blurring vision. "I shouldn't...I believe I am getting...drunk..."

"Exactly..." Crash poured him another beer, and would not take his eyes off the ninja until he completely downed the ale. "Another."


"Another!" he demanded, and Shadow hesitated, unwanting of the loss of control. "It'sh a party, big fella...jusht go with th''sh only one night..."

The ninja immediately lowered his tattooed brow. "If you only knew what could happen in one night..."

"And if you truly want t' honor your friend..." Crash continued his bid, pointing towards Todd.

"All right." he snapped, wanting inclusion in the festivities and to indeed honor a friend in his celebration. "Pour."

"Yeah, baby!!" Crash laughed in triumph, emptying the remnants of another keg into Shadow's awaiting glass. "And th' besht man winsh again..."

"Whoa there, human..." Brooklyn had pried himself from the table, unending a few emptied shotglasses in the process, tipping the crystal goblets onto the floor. "Who shays yer th' best man?!"

"'Cause I'm hish besht friend..." Crash countered, and both human and gargoyle looked back to Todd, who was fully engaged with his inflatable queen, and suckling his drink from between the cavernous cleavage of her breasts.

"Hey baby, how about we play lion and lion tamer?" Todd then whispered to his consort, obviously practicing a smoothed diction on a woman of rubber for later use with the real thing. "You hold your mouth open and I'll put my head in. Heh heh seriously though, how do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled...or fertilized? Ha ha ha ha ha..."

"HEY!!!" both Crash and Brooklyn chimed together, tearing the bachelor from his latex consort.

"I wasn't doin' anything!!" he screamed in sheer surprise when discovering he was being stared at, adjusting the breasts adorning his head. "What're you guys starin' at?"

"Who'sh th' besht man?!!"

Todd winced, forming a wounded expression in the unearthing of a decision unmade, perhaps due to his own fear of hurting two friends. "I uh, actually...uhm, haven't picked a best man yet..."

Instantly did the two prospective choices to stand by Todd's side turn to each other, facing off with eyes of fire, fueled by both hard liquor and their own indomitable will.

"I've known him since grade sixsh!!" Crash argued.

"I've battled bad guysh intent on takin' over th' world with him!!" Brooklyn snapped back.

"I've sheen him naked..." he boasted, nodding his head slightly to match argument to argument.

Brooklyn edged back, turning an eye towards Todd and furrowing his brow in a hidden past possibly opened way too far for his liking.

And the proclaimed Grand Boobus simply shrugged, his only defense being that of his undeniable acceptance. "Well, yeah, but it isn't what it sounds like...'cause a lot of alcohol was involved..."

"There's only one way t' settle thish, ya beaked freak..." Crash threatened, staggering back to the bar and grabbing as many liquor bottles as possible. He nudged an unconscious Lexington from the way, and placed them to the table. "We'll continue thish little' th' first one t' passh out...loses..."

"Yer on..."


Annika held up the soft, silken material in her talons, seeing even through the translucent ivory fabric, as if formed from glacial ice. "Oh my god..." she whispered, as she inspected the lingerie and even wondered just how her future husband would react to seeing her in a sheer camisole that would leave nothing to the imagination.

"Now that will definitely get Todd's attention..." Rain joked, sipping the raspberry champagne provided by the hostess of a new party started just below the chaotic fusion of male hormone and bottled intoxicant.

"Or it will kill him." Desdemona added, seeing the pile of lingerie previously given, and inspecting a red number complete with leather tassels and a spiked collar. "I can just hear the explosion now, erupting from your room when Mr. Hawkins spontaneously combusts..."

"So she refused to come?"

"Yeah..." Elisa whispered solemnly to Angela, away from the others as to not ruin such festivity with a topic of sorrow. "She...she isn't doing that well...Delilah doesn't have the experience to deal with the end of her relationship with Shadow. She keeps hiding herself away..."

"I've noticed." Angela nodded. "I've noticed she avoids almost everyone, especially couples. As if it's too painful a reminder..."

"I've tried to talk to her, but...I don't think it's doing any good...I'm getting worried..."

"All right, next one." Fox chimed in unknowingly over the hushed conversation, always enjoying playing the entertainer to her own brood.

Annika tore off the festive wrapping paper and gasped in morbid shock when opening the box. "A dildo..." she muttered, with the others perhaps expecting a gift such as this.

"That's not just any dildo, Ms. Smith." said Fox, raising a finger to better explain what superior functions this toy possessed. "That is the latest in female pleasure accessories from the Cyber-Biotic research department. Realistic, heated skin and adjustable length, with an advanced A.I. microchip for greater enjoyment. Plus, ten vibration settings. It's here for the lonely nights when Todd is out working late..." she teased, but still knowing by the sheer quantity of screams late at night when the couple were engaged underneath the sheets, that it might come in handy.

"Th-h-h-haaaat's g-g-g-greeeeaaaattt..." Annika answered, the vibrating phallus sending powerful tremors even through her steady form, her sensitive wing membranes quivering with it's power. She settled it to the coffee table, and watched it hop and bounce on the varnished surface, as if attempting to attack any who came near. "But how the hell do you turn it off?"

"There is no off switch per say," Fox corrected her, swelling into a malicious grin, "for it doesn't go off...until you do." Suddenly, the flesh-colored dildo hopped from the table and clattered to the floor, garnering a squeal from a few of the females, lifting their feet as it tore around the room and eventually made it's way towards the door, like it had a mind of it's own. "Hmmm...must be set on 'Goliath'."

"There's a Goliath setting??" A glimmer of hope for the dawn-tinted gargess, if only to incense Elisa's anger, the detective now staring and perchance even comparing it to her husband, but falling well short of actual reality.

"Uhm, Fox, where is it going?" Angela asked, seeing the dildo travel casually out the door and into the hallway beyond, intent on exploring on it's own volition.

"Hmmm..." Fox watched the dildo scurry away from her sight and deep into the castle depths. "I'm going to have to talk with some of those lonely ladies in R and D."


"...but I love my beautiful blossom, but I cannot tell her...but I love her..." Shadow muttered, clenching an entire keg to his side, having torn it from the bar and now drinking straight from the tap. "...and then there's...Iliana..."

"Ach, laddie..." Hudson wheezed, filling his own mug with more vodka and settling back into the recliner, complete with offered cigar alight with a burning flame. "Dinna try t' figure out matters o' th' heart...or th' lassies who ye try t' make happy...they be vile temptresses..."

"...but my sweet Delilah...I broke her heart...allowed her to distance herself...because of who...of what I am..."

Hudson stared at him, his weathered visage almost sympathetic to the ninja's plight. "D'ye love her?"

"Who...Delilah or Iliana?"

"Jalapena." the Scottish elder mumbled, releasing a ring of smoke into the air. "Jus'...drink some more, tithead..." As Shadow readily complied, Hudson looked back to Goliath, who seemed transfixed on the screen with the newest offering of indecent film. "Goliath." No answer. "Goliath!!"

"What?!! I was not doing anything!!" the lavender leader replied in total surprise. "Oh, Hudson, I was, ah...just...watching..."

"Oh, I be sure o' that."

Goliath shrugged and returned his attention back to the screen, tilting his head nearly sideways to better see the blond-haired star lift her legs into quite a compromising position. "Interesting. I wonder if Elisa can bend that far..."

"All right, gentlemen. I believe you all know thish game quite well..." Othello explained to the combatants on the other side of the room, where Todd and Xanatos had placed themselves on opposite sides of a low, green table, with Broadway and a roused Lexington on the other.

"But, O..." Todd complained sourly. "Ping-pong? Sounds kind of lame..."

Othello held the ball over the tiny net, as the players nodded their assent, hesitantly holding to the wooden paddles and their respective drinks. "Trust me, Mr. Hawkinsh..."

"All right..." Todd sighed, preparing himself. "Here, baby," the youth placed his beer into the firm-walled love orifice between the doll's legs, "hold this for me."

Othello then surprised the group by pulling a lighter from the side. "Thish particular ball, Mr. Hawkins, has been shoaking in lighter fluid for two full nights." On the bare tips of two talons he held the ball, and set it aflame, the flammable fluids soaked into the surface, transforming it from a simple plaything into a raging inferno. Othello then threw the ball towards Todd, and the human's only chance for survival was to strike it towards the opposing team.

"Holy shit!!" Lexington yelled out, as the fireball screamed towards him. He swatted it away, barely hanging onto the beer in his hand.

"D'not spill yuir drinksh!" ordered Othello, standing to the side and watching the flaming sphere rip past him in both directions, and the player's do their best to keep themselves from being set on fire. "And I wouldn't allow th' ball t' touch yuir togas, ash they have no doubt shoaked up a lot of spilled alcohol and could act ash hazard..."

"Jesus Christ!!" Todd yelled, spinning around and protecting his queen from harm when slapping the shot away, lest Queen Rachel be singed or even popped. "This is fucking awesome!! Watch out, Mr. X!!"

"Incoming." Xanatos replied, as his great skill deflected the fireball, leaving only a few sparks to reflect off the paddle's surface.

And beyond the lunacy of a rivalry born of flaming ping-pong, were left two more rivals engaged in their own contest. Brooklyn and Crash were neck and neck, the gargoyle forced to drink twice as much due to his greater metabolism. As Crash down one shot, Brooklyn would take two. And after emptying six bottles, were the combatants almost unable to proceed any further, only staying conscious in the promise of the grand prize.

"...g-g-give up...human?..." Brooklyn wheezed, his mouth dry, his hands barely able to hold to the shotglass without allowing the liquor to spill out in his trembling hands.

"...nnnnnno..." Crash groaned, a tiny droplet of saliva and remaining alcohol skimming his bottom lip. "...again..." They drank once more, with the empty shotglasses plunging to the table.

"...g-g-give up?..."


"...yer too sssstubborn..."

"...I'M gonna' besht man..." Crash faltered his words, dipping his head.

"...I am..." Brooklyn forced out.

"...I hafta I can make it...up t' him..." he whispered, deliberately attempting to keep his voice low.

"...m-make...what up?..."

Crash chuckled, running his hands down his face. "...shhhshshhh...don't tell him...that I've been sleepin' with...Kendra..."

"Yer sleepin' with Kendra?!!" repeated Brooklyn in a voice much louder than Crash would have preferred.

"WHAT?!!!" Todd howled, completely frozen, even as the ball flew towards him. It bounced once on the table, leaving the tell-tale scorch mark, and ripped past his shoulder towards the others.

Hudson would never see the ball until it was too late. It sailed directly into his vodka as if guided by an invisible force, setting the entire mug aflame. "By the balls o' Satan!!" he yelled in total shock. "Me drink's on fire!!"

"FIRE!!!" Shadow screamed, reacting on pure instinct when seeing the pyre of flames tower from the powerful whiskey. Grabbing the nearest liquid, he doused Hudson in what he thought would smother the flames, but in his panic and alcohol-affected judgment, had grasped upon Hudson's claimed bottle of forty proof vodka.

"Shadow, NO!!!" Goliath yelled out, just as the ninja threw the whiskey towards the flames. A massive fireball erupted into the air, with the three gargoyles hopping around and trying to stamp out the flames now lapping at their togas.

Todd never noticed, instead abandoning his game and stalking his way towards Crash while the others watched in amusement the two largest gargoyles of their clan frantically beat both Hudson and themselves nearly to death to put out the flames before they spread. He appeared over his friend, and Crash sheepishly turned around, only to peer up into Todd's searing stare. "You're sleeping...with my ex-girlfriend?!"

"...uhm...yeah..." he responded in but a whimper. "...problem?..."

"Nope." Todd switched his queen to his left hand and instantly struck Crash across the temple with his right fist. He was knocked out, and his limp form fell lifelessly to the table, his face landing directly into the bowl of chili. "Not anymore."

"YES!!! I...WIN!!!" Brooklyn stood up and cheered, in seeing his stubborn opponent at last lose consciousness. "I'm th' best man!! Ha ha ha ha ha...ugh..." The sudden motion had caught him, the alcohol taking affect. Brooklyn's eyes fluttered, rolled up into his head and he fell to the floor.

"He's my best man?" Todd muttered, adjusting his rubber breasts. "Shit."

"Dammit!! Someone get the extinguisher before Hudson's beard goes up and takes out the entire castle!!"



"Which one do you suppose that was?" Angela inquired of the group, when hearing the loud thud above her, her attention taken from the cake adorned and drawn with a layered frosting into that of a naked man.

"Too loud to be Lexington, Todd, Crash, or David," Fox surmised, her acute skills discerning which male had succumbed, "and too quiet to be Goliath, Broadway, Hudson or Shadow, which just leaves..."

"Brooklyn." Sata sighed in exasperation, slamming down the handcuffs and whip given to Annika. "He is older than almost all of them yet still acts as if a hatchling."

"Age is only as old as you feel, Sata." said Desdemona. "And I believe Brooklyn has much to celebrate."

"That still does not excuse him from acting like a complete fool."

"Then what excuses Todd?"


"GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!!!" A chorus of drunken voices erupted over the grunting and straining of the pair of duelists engaged in a war of strength and pure brute force, like knights from old. The party-goers had surrounded the table, watching as Shadow and Goliath arm-wrestled against each other, the table underneath straining at such power released by perhaps two of the greatest warriors alive.

"Fifty bucks on Goliath!" Todd yelled out, as Xanatos fronted him the cash almost immediately.

"I'll take that bet."

"Do you ALWAYS have money on you??"

"Of course." he answered, seeming offended by the accusation.

"You do know that Goliath's stronger, right?" Todd then quipped.

"Never underestimate the underdog, Mr. Hawkins." Xanatos countered, seeing their arms waver back and forth over the center line, Shadow and Goliath straining to gain the upper hand. Small beads of perspiration licked at their foreheads, their eyes centered upon each other, charcoal to mahogany, fire to ice. But even in yet another trial contrived by Othello, no one noticed the thin cracks running the length of the sturdy surface, Goliath and Shadow both unwilling to give up, their better judgment influenced by such massive alcohol consumption. And such power was rending the thick oak, and soon it would shatter, with disastrous consequences.

It ripped apart almost down the exact middle, sending both gargoyles away from each other, and Goliath into Todd. The crowd parted, leaving the Grand Boobus to be smothered by a massive backside, and leather-covered buttocks thrust into his face.

"Shimmmpphhhhffffff!!" Todd was knocked back, staggering towards the window, and before anyone could save their king, did he slam against the windowframe and break the locking mechanism, releasing the catch and opening the window to the night sky. "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiii......" Silence.

The others sat there stunned, having seen only the window swallow a flash of white material and large pink breasts into the evening cosmos. "HAWKINS!!!" Broadway yelled out, running towards the window and resting against the sill.

"Someone fucking help me!!"

The entire crowd looked down to see the bachelor hanging just below them, his toga having luckily snagged the cornice structure when falling past. He was suspended right outside the lower floor's window, perhaps one hundred feet above the highest castle level, and clad in only his boxer brief underwear, clutching to both his queen and the velvet robe.

"Anyb'dy have a rope?" Lexington asked.

"Why?" Broadway cut through. "We can jus' fly down an'..."

"In'ur condition?" Lexington argued back. "I don' know 'bout you, but I can barely shtand. Todd's probably th' least drunk out of all of ush..."

"Here..." Xanatos fled through the crowd, with his fishing rod grabbed from the cabinet near the pool tables. "Use this."

"A fishing rod?" Goliath stated incredulously.

"I've used it to catch and reel in marlin much bigger than the young man now hanging from the castle's cornice."

"If you say so..." The lavender leader lowered the diamond-strengthened line and sterling hook towards his intended target, with Todd starting to sway slightly in the growing Winter breeze. He too wavered back and forth, the massive gargoyle attempting to clear his vision, and steady his form, that which betrayed him now. But finally, he snagged something solid, and pulled, but found his first attempt yielded only a crimson robe of fraudulent royalty. "Hmmm..."

"What are you doing, dumbass?!! Someone pull me up!!" Todd screamed, now dressed merely in his underwear. "Jesus, is it friggin' cold out nipples are getting hard, guys..."

Goliath threw away the robe as if a fish too small, and tried once more.



But this time, did Goliath's cast only reveal a pair of ripped, black underwear.

The entire crowd looked at each other, but the fear they once had of Todd plunging far below, was quickly replaced with an upsurge of howling laughter, all knowing he was he completely naked and bared to the ladies just beneath them.


It wasn't until she noticed that shrill sound, like fingers across an inflated balloon, did Rain begin to listen in closer to a high-pitched screech seeming to come from all around her.


"What the hell?" the diminutive gargess whispered to herself. "What is that?"


She turned around to the window, and in her mild disgust and nagging womanly intrigue, found two fleshy globes skidding their way across the window, leaving a slight impression in the shape of a contorted smear. "Holy shit..." she wheezed, bringing all eyes to her, and then to the window beyond. A chorused gasp was released, when they discovered what was causing the strange, outlandish and almost crude sounds.

It was Todd, his buttocks scraping across the glass surface when being pushed by the wind outside. Back and forth he swung, a giant pendulum, with the females all mesmerized by the naked buttocks, clicking their eyes to and fro, as if spectators at a tennis match. And of course, in his truest fashion, did he never take notice of the lewd stares from just behind him, trying instead to desperately grab at the window's edge.


"Should we try an' save him?" Shadow asked.

"He seems to be doing just fine on his own." Goliath said, watching Todd squirm and twist in the wind. "If he falls, I shall catch him, an' only then."

"Seems cruel..." Xanatos added.

"I would rath'r call it," Goliath paused, and looked to Othello for confirmation, "justifiable revenge."


"Look like we're going to need that dildo afterall, eh Annika?" Fox joked, nudging the stunned and silent gargess in the ribs with her elbow.

She buried her face in her hands. "Oh my god...I'm not going to kill him...I'm not going to kill him..."


Todd reached for the ledge, and as his fingertips played against the rough Scottish stone, did he celebrate with a beaming smile, only to lose his grip and swing back across the window once more. "Damn, my ass is getting sore!" Abandoned to his fate, he knew of perhaps only one way to save himself, either before he dropped to his supposed death by perhaps spreading all that filled his entire body cavity over the awaiting cornice surface below, or hung himself by the toga wrapped around his shoulder and neck. But in the attempt, did he need both hands free, and as he passed Rachel between his arms, did a casual slip of the hand, one that would perhaps be missed by the casual eye, cause her imminent death.

"RACHEL!!!" he screamed his agony to the stars, watching as the winds captured and forced the doll to do their bidding, if only to dance within the embrace of the clouds. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" She floated away, and disappeared into the horizon. "Dammit, now I'm gonna get a big, rubber dick up my ass!!"

He brought both his hands up towards the toga and pushed from the window, swinging out and back towards the glass. Todd steadied himself, and then, with one last heave, did he push away, and come careening towards the window. They opened freely as he demolished yet another locking catch with the weight behind him, and tumbled into the room, rolling to a stop. He stood up, and only now did he become aware of an entire room full of women his nude form.

"Hellooooooooo, Mr. Hawkins." Fox cooed, casually tipping her eyes below the equator, as Elisa instantly looked away and Annika glared at him, with eyes of sapphire diamond alight with burning rage.

Todd tipped up his goateed chin, and simply adjusted his rubber boobs, seemingly unfazed by his wedding tackle hanging free and to their sight. "Ladies, if you'll excuse me..." He turned and simply walked from the room.

Annika groaned and shook her head. "I'm not going to kill him...I'm not going to kill him..."

And above, where none could see, Othello's lips curled into a subtle smile, having hoped for such a chance all night to truly embarrass the human. He smoothed out his long, ivory tress, and nonchalantly took a swig of beer. "Thish night is turning out far too perfect."


"Got the popcorn?" the crimson-skinned gargoyle asked of her twin, though cast in subtle jade.

"It's in the microwave." Graeme replied, digging relentlessly through the large refrigerator to find the last sodas. "I still don't know why I wasn't allowed to go to the party..." he complained, an audible growl wafting upon his protest to being left out from the celebration.

"Well, according to mom and dad," Ariana huffed, once more a mature mind betrayed by her true age, "we're still 'too young for such indecency'." She watched as her brother prepared the snacks and drinks, leaning against the marble countertop and cursing the microwave for taking such time. "We're not kids..."


They suddenly froze, when hearing the blaring clatter arise from the opposite side of the castle's massive kitchen. Something scurried far from them, skidding across the tiled floor and back into the shadows, with a noise born from the deepest hollows of a nightmare brought the breath of life.

"What was that?!" Ariana cried, in hearing it skittle past once again.

"Bronx?" Graeme steadily approached, though his eyes open wide for any movement. "Nudnik? Is that you?"

"What's that buzzing sound?"

And without warning, came something unfamiliar and quite unnatural to their childish sensibilities, having lept from the darkened corner and towards the young gargoyle, taken flight with it's internal power source. Graeme dived from the way and only opened his sister to full view. It landed square on her torso and knocked her to the ground, forcing the wind from her lungs.

Ariana looked down in fear, only to discover the escaped dildo slowly crawling it's way up her chest. "Oh that a...a..." She was mesmerized, as the dildo encroached upon her, nearing her face, the vibrating flesh just grazing against the underside of her beak. "'s h-h-huge..."

"DIE!!!" Graeme swept in and swatted away the offensive plaything with a frying pan grabbed in sheer panic, knocking the dildo away from his sister. It recovered, flipped over onto the molded testicles dragging along behind, and as it paused, it seemed to stare at him with an eyeless hood, and then scooted off back into the hallway. "Whoa...are you okay, Ari?"

She never answered, left on the ground with a peculiar smile on her face and a heated flush to her cheeks. "Wow..."


"OH, VERY FUCKIN' FUNNY, YA HUMAN-HUMPIN', BABY-MAKIN', BIG, PURPLE BASTARD!!!!" Todd shrieked, upon blowing through the door, his rubber breasts bouncing furiously and staying true to his raging temper. He directed the fury of his grated voice towards Goliath, the leader having taken to yet another drink, and Todd found him merely shrugging his apology.

"Mr. Hawkins, you're naked." Goliath stated quite calmly.

"I don't care!!"

"We do." Xanatos threw a new toga towards him, and his recovered robe, though marred with a tiny, almost invisible hole left from the fishhook. "So please cover yourself up before you put someone's eye out."

"With that limp noodle?" an unnamed voice muttered from the background, followed by the customary chortle. "Good luck."

Todd growled underneath his breath, seeming as if having stolen that particular trait from his fiancé, at the ironic jest directed at his privates. "You still owe me fifty bucks." he muttered back to Xanatos, replacing his kingly attire.

"There was no winner, and thus, there is no bet."

"No wonder you're so rich, you cheap bastard..."

Xanatos cocked an eyebrow, and as a peace offering, handed Todd another drink. Anger evaporated, with the assurance of a sweet intoxicant, and surrounded by the noxious fumes and gooey cream of his Fuzzy Dick, Todd quickly wiped away the unpleasant memory of dangling over the castle cornices.

"Anyone of you!! I'll take on any one 'f you!! If you truly think you can d'feat me..." Shadow howled, staggering around with yet another keg stolen from underneath the bar. "Another arm-wrestle, a fight...choose any weapon...I am the strongest fighter here!!"

"Yes, yes..." Goliath sighed while taking Shadow aside, the ninja flinching when feeling the strong hand grip onto his arm. "Come, the entertainment is about to begin."


"Yes." Xanatos answered for Goliath, directing the others towards the far side of the media room, where a stage mock-up had been erected, cloaked with blue drapery and surrounded by the exact amount of chairs for the bachelor party guests.

"How come we n'ver noticed that before?" Lexington slurred.

Broadway shrugged. "Bad writing?"

"Or excessive amounts of alcohol." Xanatos remedied quite quickly. "Please, gentlemen...she's waiting."

Todd's eyes instantly sparkled, the mist clearing from Winter gray. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy..." Like a child, he danced and jumped up and down, clapping his hands together. "Would this entertainment involve a young human of the female persuasion who enjoys a spirited dance and taking her clothes off for a bunch of drunken men?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Rock on." Todd skipped over and took the first seat laid out for him, just in front of the stage, darting his eyes to hopelessly peer between the cracks of the drapes. Broadway roused both Brooklyn and Crash from the floor, slapping their faces to gain their attention, and cleaning the chili from Crash's features. He hauled them to separate chairs behind Todd, with the others taking their designated places as well. Xanatos checked behind the curtain, and then turned around to swiftly walk past them and into his own seat. "Well?" Todd asked impatiently.

"Patience." he whispered, as soon the entire roomed dimmed, the bright lights fading in intensity ever so slowly, as if to prolong the agony of impatience and eager anticipation, and leaving behind only darkened surroundings with the stage directly in front bathed in soft, golden illumination. A spotlight, then two, alighting the stage and bringing all eyes focused to a centerpoint. And over the exited murmuring, came the music, thrusting from the speakers alongside, and nearly startling the crowd. A loud, roaring beat, supported by a heavy guitar riff, the dance of thunder and lightning to gain pure subservience and almost an addiction to the rhythm now threatening to explode from the speaker-boxes.

The drapes parted slightly to show off a long limb, smoothed, silky skin catching the sheen of the lighting above, and touching down to the wooden stage. Silence wafted through the crowd, with Todd shuffling his chair right to the stage's edge, and nearly leaning onto the varnished surface to better see his gift. The leg wavered back and forth, covered by a long white knee-high sock, and a black patent high heeled shoe, perhaps six inches with a platform, with a strap across the sock. And suddenly, when two hands grasped upon the drapes, they were thrown back in perfect sync with the music's powerful beat, and revealed to the crowd was a deity come to life from molded clay and a god's skilled hands.

"Damn..." Todd muttered, seeing the stripper approach the golden pole, and sweep around the rod once, her twin pigtails swaying with her lithe and silken movements. She was dressed as a risqué version of a schoolgirl, ripped from wet dreams of all men alike. Her long hair with blond hi-lights in twin tails, with a near-translucent, white, embroidered blouse, the buttons down the front straining under the silk tie, nearly ready to burst from her massive chest. A short plaid skirt barely covered her buttocks and g-string covered privates, proudly flaunted and displayed when curling around the pole, slipping down in a perfect circle, and eventually gliding upon the slick surface of the stage towards Todd.

"I believe that's one of your 43 fantasies, is it not, Mr. Hawkins?" Xanatos whispered, leaning forwards to the stunned young man in front of him, seeing the seductress slowly crawl her way towards him, licking her swollen lips covered in pink gloss.

"How'd you know?" he answered, his eyes reflecting the stripper strutting her way forwards, as if a cat on the prowl for fresh prey.

"Because it's every other male's fantasy as well..."

She neared the stage's edge, and literally poured herself into Todd's lap. He leaned back against the chair, as she leaned in, barely brushing her lips just past his own when unallowed of any more movement away from her, teasing him with her flavor, her sweet aroma of flora and luscious honey. She straddled him, pressing her large breasts against him, through the silk blouse, grinding herself into his crotch and swaying with the movements of her chosen music. Todd then sputtered and nearly swallowed his tongue, when she tore open her blouse and revealed her breasts to his eyes, only barely covered by a bright pink, string bikini top. The brunette then completely peeled off her shirt, rolled it around and tossed it behind his neck, forcing him closer to her, unable to escape.

"I take it," she breathed, a husky voice ripe with irresistible eroticism, "you're the lucky man tonight."

"Y-Y-Yeah..." he stammered, bringing a few smiles to the others behind him, seeing the eternally open mouth at last drain itself of any fuel.

" ARE handsome." she purred, licking up the side of his face, and pressing her teeth to his earlobe, nibbling upon the sensitive flesh. "Yummy. Too bad you're...already taken." Suddenly, she moved back, and with great agility, flipped up and back onto the stage. She straddled the pole, and flipped entirely upside down, spreading her legs, and slowly inching down the immovable shaft of steel. One hand to her skirt, and it was torn away, leaving a thin strip of glittering fabric to cover her privates. The pigtails were released, the socks gone, leaving only her high heels, she twisted and contorted, hypnotizing her audience, and showing neither the slightest sign of trepidation or fear in performing for massive winged creatures now staring lustfully.

A skill of dance perhaps learned when but a child helped her fly from the stage, seeming to float above any surface, acting a true gargoyle in taking to wing. The music continued, creating a force that drove them mad with lust, forgetting wives, mates, and fiancés for a split second in the passage of time. As stoic and unfeeling he may have seemed, even Shadow succumbed to her charm, her magic of seduction. Seconds, minutes, an hour, they had lost all sense of direction and time in her blurred movements.

But, the ultimate show-stopper was about to come, when she stopped mid-stride, her large chest gently swaying to a standstill. She tilted chestnut eyes down and targeted Todd, the young man still staring, his mouth permanently disfigured into a foolish grin. She beckoned to him with a single finger, and he rose from his chair, and they met, the stripper leaning down and allowing her eyes to burn him, scald his flesh and confound further his already clouded mind. "You hungry, handsome?"

"I guess..."

An invitation given, and received in the affirmative, she plopped down into his lap once more. "Good." With a single blurred motion, she tore off her top and threw over Shadow's face, revealing her naked breasts to wide eyes and grabbed a brown-colored bottle from Xanatos' offered hand. "A gift, Mr. Hawkins, from David Xanatos. I hope you enjoy, he's paid good money for this..." Todd watched in giddy excitement as he recognized the bottle now poised over her massive chest. It was Hershey's chocolate syrup, and when flipping open the cap, she unleashed a flood of rich, mahogany fluid over her flesh, completely covering her breasts. Almost half the bottle was used, coating her, making her appear as if formed from sweet chocolate herself, the syrup dripping gradually down her skin and trailing in thin tendrils over her toned stomach. She slipped a long fingernail into the chocolate and touched it to her lips. "Care for a taste?"

With the others crowing wildly behind, and encouraging him on, Todd stared lasciviously at the meal prepared for him. He hesitated, and the stripper noticed. Another can to tempt him, white, slim, she topped off the chocolate with whipped cream, the ivory foam drifting along the chestnut fluid as if edible clouds, and Todd simply began to salivate at the added enticement.

"Dammit." he muttered, wiping the saliva from his lip, and washing a hand down his face.

"What's wrong, handsome?" the stripper inquired.

"Hell of a time for my conscience to kick in."

"Ah." She cocked an eyebrow, baring a perfect set of teeth. "Afraid to betray your fiancé when licking the breasts of another woman."

"No. I'm afraid of what'll happen when she finds out, and then when she decides to pull off a body part. You should have seen the last time I kissed another woman...I almost got my balls handed to me..."

"You know, I was hesitant enough in coming here tonight, and you're not helping human-gargoyle relations with all these tales you're telling me." the stripper commented. "But let me tell you this," she leaned in closer, gliding her supple fingers into his hair, "it's not infidelity when you have no intention of sleeping with me. All you're doing me a bath." Her lips explored his cheek, licking up his face and plunging his entire nervous system into almost total collapse. "Giving the dirty, dirty stripper a bath." She knew now, she had him, and hurriedly pushed his head between her cleavage, plunging his face deep into the chocolate syrup.

Buried between two mountains of taught flesh, even one possessed of the ultimate willpower would fold instantly, thus Todd gave up the second he captured a taste of Hershey goodness, and began to lick the chocolate from her breasts, garnering a slight laughter from the stripper when tickling her skin with his tongue. The crowd saluted and howled even louder, and glasses chimed together in good cheer. came.

From the media room door left open only a crack, from the shadows of the winding corridors beyond, came the monstrosity created by lonely women with too much time on their hands and intimate relations on their minds. The tell-tale buzzing sound first alerted the ninja, and when Shadow drowsily turned around, he found the escaped, rabid dildo leaping into his face.

"GRRAAH!!!" he growled, fending off a wild phallus attempting to plunge itself into any available orifice, including his mouth. It smothered his face, and he wildly flung his arms, teetering back into the crowd and knocking almost all of them over. The dildo lept off, and into the chaos of wing, claw and alcohol, heading for the only female there.

Todd at last pulled himself from the stripper's breasts only to hear her scream, licking the smeared chocolate and whipped cream from around his mouth. The dildo launched itself towards her, and Todd swept her from the stage and hauled her from harm's way.

"Jesus, what is that thing?!!" she cried from Todd's arms, as he carried her away from the wild phallic mold.

"A big, rubber dong!!" Todd answered, receiving a hardened stare from the stripper in return. "What? You asked..."

The remaining humans and gargoyles were piled on top of each other, each attempting to gain higher ground. Shadow uncovered himself from a lavender wing, and struck blindly at the first available target, that unfortunately being Goliath. The leader was toppled and fell into Othello and Broadway, incensing anger, temper and whiskey, and soon the entire floor was up in arms. Brooklyn immediately caught Crash as Lexington climbed onto his larger rookery brother, a war of brother and kin ensuing, even as the dildo hopped from gargoyle to gargoyle, attempting to search it's way through the crowd for the stripper, now held safely in Todd's arms.


"Fuck, it's in my ear!!"

"Let go of me!!"

"RRRRRAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!" Shadow roared, turning around and cracking an open fist against Goliath's face, missing by a fraction of an inch the attacking dildo and a sickening irony in having battered his hand to Goliath once more, wreaking havoc within the crowd of drunken gargoyles. The lavender giant tumbled back into Brooklyn and Broadway, and in turn they spun around to unleash their fury back towards the approaching ninja, unaware he had only been aiming for the rubber, robotic penis. They pushed him backwards, and in doing so, unwittingly unleashed his anger. Shadow struck back with the fire brimming just beneath his skin and launched the brothers towards the wall, destroying stone, mortar and a riveted steel frame, allowing a glimpse of the sheer maze of tubing and conduits feeding the castle with gas, water and electricity, the lifeblood of Wyvern.

Xanatos fought his way from the crowd and centered in on the damaged area. "Dammit, watch out!!"

Words were not enough when three of the most powerful beings upon this entire island were met to prove their formidable skills and boast their power. They clashed hand to hand, and the combined strength of Broadway and Brooklyn pushed Shadow back and into the steel pipe, ripping it from it's moorings and releasing the remaining contents inside from a severed end.

"Gentlemen!" Xanatos yelled, seeing Shadow, Broadway and Brooklyn cease their fight and watch helplessly as the silent vapor spread towards the small ember alive in Hudson's discarded cigar, left within the ashtray. "The gas!!"

"The stripper!!"

"The food!!"


Their champagne glasses rattled whilst held securely in their hands, the sweet liquid rippling with the sudden trembling having erupted from above them. The others nearly dropped their drinks, the ladies fearing the worst when hearing the explosion. Only Fox seemed unfazed, checking her watch, as if expecting this much earlier.

"What the hell was that?!" Elisa yelled out, her eyes peering searchingly to the ceiling.

"I'd say the end of the party." Fox mused, lifting her eyes to the doorway, and seeing the slim silhouette of the ever-prepared Owen Burnett slide gracefully into view. "Both David and I knew something like this may happen. A simple yet dangerous equation...gargoyles plus booze equals ka-boom."

"Mrs. Xanatos." said Owen coldly, arms crossed behind his back, appearing from the doorway.

"What's happened, Owen?"

"My guess, Fox, is that they have somehow ruptured one of the natural gaslines being fed through the Southern wall of the media room. Fortunately, before the party even started, I shut it off at the source. Therefore, the resulting explosion was thankfully smaller and contained."


"Explosion?!" squeaked Angela, angered by Fox's seeming indifference to her mate's apparent demise by having himself blown forcefully past heaven's pearly gates. "Are they all right?!"

"I assure you, Angela, they are fine. The amount of alcohol running through their systems has no doubt protected them from the brunt of the explosion, and numbed any pain. And perhaps, any perception that the explosion has even occurred."

"Well, damn..." Fox whined. "I owe David ten thousand dollars."

"What?" Elisa sighed. "What the hell for?"

"Well, I bet him something would explode before midnight. Guess I was wrong..."


Beyond the gaping hole where a wall once held back the infinite field of wandering stars and the winds that swept devilishly between them, lay heaped bodies spread all over the media room. Through the layer of smoke, Goliath rose up, coughing out the fumes from his lungs and seeing his clan rise from the dead. Broadway had saved what he could of the cuisine and now chewed solemnly on a charred piece of pizza, Brooklyn and Crash lay huddled in a corner suckling the remaining spilled alcohol from the carpeting, and Lexington dangled lifelessly from the chandelier above, a pair of leopard-skin panties around his head.

Xanatos surveyed the damage when getting to his feet, seeing the favored room of the clan in partial ruins yet again. It seemed these creatures were costing him a lot more money than he ever imagined, especially when Todd Hawkins unofficially joined the clan.

Todd uncovered the stripper from underneath the remains of his toga and robe, thrown over her naked body to protect her from the blast, and looked around him, seeing Shadow and Othello help a dazed Hudson dislodge his trapped head from the wreckage of the recliner. "Damn..." he whispered, realizing he held a naked, massive-breasted, chocolate-covered stripper in his arms. "Now THAT...was a kick ass party..."


"Now a headache..." Lexington muttered, staggering blindly down the corridor, nursing the pounding spasm echoing within his panty-covered skull. The web-wing had escaped from the destruction quickly, after all had calmed down and claimed the chance to survey the damage caused, and heading for a destination unknown to his blurred sight. The alcohol had even affected the cybernetics wired through his system, and he found himself unable to properly focus his optics. "Man, I think I got a loincloth wedgie..."

"There you are..." breathed a high-pitched tone. "I've been looking all over for you."

Lexington raised his eyes to see a flash of emerald fall into view. Rain appeared in front of him and stopped short when seeing what adorned his head. "Hey..." he whispered smoothly, the alcohol granting him the level of confidence only associated with heavy drinking.

"Lex," Rain asked cautiously, "are those leopard skin panties on your head?"

The cyborg leaned in, stepping closer and forcing Rain back towards the wall. With her back to the Scottish stone and no room to maneuver, she was helpless to escape from Lexington's pursuit. He slapped a hand to the wall above her shoulder, and stared at her, their faces barely grazing, their breath mingling.

"Leeeeex?" Rain purred, knowing by his breath of strong mint and whiskey spirits he was still riding the wave of bloated self-assurance, but perhaps able to be molded to her own desires. "What are you doing?"

"Jus' this..." He sunk his mouth into her swelled lips and kissed the young gargess, pressing her back against the wall with his ferocity, only releasing when wholly satisfied of her flavor.

"Holy..." she gasped, short, stuttered breaths and a restlessly beating heart.

"Y'know, there's an...empty room upstairs in th' west wing...with a really big bed..."

Rain brightened, entwining her tail seductively around his own in such an idea suggested at last. "Oh, why Lex...I don't want you to blow a fuse or something..."

"An' this time, there's no Ares to get in 'ur way." he whispered, pulling Rain towards the stairs leading to the upper level.

She trailed behind, a malicious grin allowed to spread. "Damn..."


"Of all the irresponsible, stupid, dumb-assed things to do!!" she snapped, scarlet lips spitting hellfire towards the lavender giant. "There's now a big hole in the media room, because," a word of poison rolling off her tongue, "couldn't control the testosterone practically oozing from your pores!!"

Goliath looked down, dejected, a child being scolded as Elisa continued to verbally tear into him, from the damaged media room all the way to their bedroom. He shrugged, lifting his brow in innocence. "It was a party..."

"Flaming ping-pong with flammable alcohol? A chocolate-covered stripper?? A massive hole in our home??!" Elisa listed the events only heard about when they decided to venture into the media room to see what had truly happened. "Allowing Shadow to drink...that's not a party, Big Guy, that's world war three!!"


"Fun, huh? Get a good look at her titties?!"

Goliath swept a hand over his rapidly forming smile, swallowing the great urge to laugh at Elisa's anger and the fact she only used such language when truly furious. He knew now telling her of the stripper was a bad idea. "They were...nice."

"NICE??!!!" A declaration of their eternal bond, their soul fused into one, she expected her lover and mate to fly to her defense in a verbal soliloquy so like him, the warrior with the vernacular of a poet. And instead, found the one word used to describe the breasts she had caught sight of, only helping to fan the flames. She saw the brimming smile cautiously concealed underneath massive talons, and her almond eyes thinned. "Are you...laughing?"

"No." he lied outright.

Elisa clenched her fists. "Here I thought I was married to the leader of the Wyvern clan, not a carbon clone of Todd Hawkins. You should know better than this! What would Trini think?! Goliath, are you even listening to me?!!" she yelled, seeing Goliath's eyes wander to her curvaceous frame, and tight-fitting clothes.

"Elisa, how far can you bend?"

"What?! What the hell are you talking about?!!"

Goliath reached with one hand to her shirt, entrenched his talons into the black material and simply tore it away, revealing her bra-encased chest.

"Whoa!" Elisa squealed, as Goliath stripped her of her jeans, then her bra, then her panties, effectively removing all barriers between them. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"I saw this in a movie once..." Goliath scooped her from the ground and threw her to the bed, removing his loincloth and burying her beneath him.

"Hey! Do you think I'm just going to lie here while you experiment on my extremely beautiful yet fragile human form?"

"You wish me to stop?"

"Hell no."

"Good." Goliath swept her legs over his broad shoulders, running his tongue and razor fangs from the subtle cleft of her calf and into her inner thigh, eventually touching upon that which sent shockwaves through her body.



"Auntie Mona?" she cried out for her caretaker, standing within the middle of the living room and staring towards the terrace doors, to her young eyes and tiny stature, towering beyond her reach. "Auntie Mona?!" Trinity cried even louder, bringing to attention the azure-skinned gargoyle from the next room.

"What is it, child?" Demona inquired of the hybrid, when seeing the winged girl holding a taloned finger towards the closed curtains, concealing the French-styled doors with nigh-translucent silk.

"What's that?" she squeaked.

She followed Trinity's ever inquisitive gaze to a humanoid shape holding itself just outside upon the balcony, and instantly, did the instinct to protect, once thought long diminished, wash over her. "Stay here." Demona crept forward, intent on discovering just who or what would possess such bravado to intrude on her sanctuary, especially when baby-sitting her favored charge. Her keen eyes locked in on the shape, moving slowly, and tapping against the glass.

Trinity followed behind, squeezing tight her 'Goyle to her chest, her wings trembling.

Demona swept back the drapes and screamed in surprise, seeing something never expected in but a thousand years. "Gah!!" She staggered back and held a hand to her chest, cursing a foolish fear of a simple inflatable doll pressed up against the windows. For it seemed Queen Rachel had made her presence known at Destine Manor, and Demona slowly shook her head. "Todd..." she muttered, though a smile brought to her face in thinking just how like him to allow this monstrosity to escape from the confines of the castle.

"Auntie Mona?"

"It's all right, Trinity." Demona calmed the young girl's anxiety. "It's only one of your uncle Todd' It must have...escaped from his party."

"Wow..." She came forward, her chocolate brown eyes opened wide. "Big b'lloons..."


"I'm not going to kill him...I'm not going to kill him..." she chanted, easing the anger surging through her arteries and beating against her heart. She had lost her fiancé in the labyrinth of stone, and feverishly pursued him by scent, especially when hearing the floating rumor he had disappeared with the stripper. Turning the corner into one of the most heavily trafficked corridors, which housed the living quarters, she continued her dirge, hoping it would calm her. "I'm not going to kill him...I'm not going to kill him..."

Until she rounded the last corner, and at last found Todd, dressed in some semblance of normality and up against the wall with the stripper. He was smiling, leaning over her, as she dried her long chestnut hair with a towel, her buxom frame and moist, golden flesh hidden only with a loose-fitting robe, seemingly just having come from the shower. They were engaged in a lively conversation, faces barely inches apart, she unable to contain her laughter and Todd pouring on what charm he exuded from ocean gray eyes and a beaming smile. Annika bathed the entire hall in blood red, erupting from a sea of sapphire. "I'm going to kill him..."

Todd continued talking, oblivious to the approaching gargoyle. Until catching her from the corner of his eye, he looked up and smiled. "Oh hey, gorgeous, I want you to meet..."


The stripper's wide eyes captured in perfect clarity, a dawn-tinted fist striking Todd across the jaw in deep-set ebony tarn. The human was sent sprawling to the ground, leaving a perfect trail of spit from where he once was to where his limp body landed. "Oh my god!!" she screamed. "What the hell is wrong with you?!!"

Annika's chest heaved, the stripper's accusing tone hampering any peaceful resolve. "I see my 'darling' fiancé trying to pick up some stripper slut and you, a piece of trailer park trash, whose boobs quite frankly, are much too big, have the gall to ask me what's wrong?!!"

"I'm married!!" she screamed back, pulling a golden ring from the robe's pocket, and replacing it to her finger.

Annika looked deep into the diamond-studded band, perhaps now realizing she had made a grave mistake, especially when depriving Todd of his baser functions through massive trauma to the head. "......w-what?"

"I only took this last strip job before I quit permanently because I was offered a lot of money from Mr. Xanatos! The only reason I worked in strip clubs was to pay my way through law school, and now I can pay off all my student loans...and I was only talking with your fiancé in order to hire him to paint my nursery!!"


"Yes." she said, leaning down to caress a hand over Todd's cheek, the young man babbling incoherently. "I'm two weeks pregnant."

"Ooooooooooh shit." Annika groaned.


"Damn, has my girl got a wicked right hook..." Todd mumbled through a sore jaw, his very teeth rattled by such ferocity contained in a presumably innocent form. The young man had recovered from his assault, and ventured outside, subsequent to combing the corridors much like she had earlier. And his guess had proven correct, when climbing the wide, sweeping stairs, upon the level where the gargoyles' perches faced out into the very heart of the sprawling metropolis, seeming to tear and rake with metallic claws and try their best to conquer the Eyrie's unreachable height. Todd approached, where a pair of wings drooped upon the stones, and a shock of spun gold drifted lazily in the Winter breeze. "Annika?"

She never answered, perhaps ignoring him, or too ashamed to answer.

"Oh come on, gorgeous...Annika? Annika! Hey, if your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?" he quipped, an attempt to lift her spirits, but found only a look of despair passed to him, her eyes of sapphire gem faded in their intensity. "Sorry...I think I'm still a little ripped..." he whispered, sitting down beside her and dangling his legs over the cornice edge, discovering the entire city and it's intricate maze of streets between his knees, and in the overwhelming vertigo, did he almost regurgitate his consumed alcohol into the unsuspecting population. "Whoa...high."

"Well, you're going to marry a jealous bitch." Annika then said abruptly. "Aren't you lucky..."

"You're not that jealous."

She slipped him barely a sight of her eyes. "You've got chocolate on your lip."

"Oh..." Todd quickly wiped away the brown syrup still clinging to his skin, lest he tempt fate and his fiancé's explosive temper. "Listen, Annika, you know there's nothing going on between me and that stripper. Her name's Stephanie by the way."

"I know..."

"Then...well, why...why the hell did you almost break my jaw?"

"I'm scared." she whispered, sounding more as if a child. "I'm so scared of losing you, and anytime I think what I've built with you is threatened...I guess I get a little crazy."

Todd agreed with a sturdy nod, rubbing his jaw. "Yeah, I'll say." He graced a reassuring hand to her shoulder, and she flinched at his touch. "You know I love you, and only you."

Annika lifted her blue eyes to the clear night sky, a velvet drapery of shadowed lavender pierced a billion times over, as if a celestial mirror had shattered and spread it's glowing pieces throughout the entire expanse of space. "I remember vividly, when I was young..." she whispered softly, her voice as tender and forgiving as the gentle winds that buffeted the highest cornices. "...and my dad would beat me...he used to tell me that he was the only I could ever trust. Ever obey. And no one else. And I actually believed him. As much as he slapped me, hit me, and brutalized me, I still believed him. Believed that no one else would ever care for me, or treat me as if I was worth something..."

"You are!" Todd raised his voice, fearing the turn in the conversation, and always angered so to the point of mild dementia when reminded of Annika's abusive childhood. "You're worth everything! And you know he was wrong. Because you deserve so much more."

"I know." She slowly turned her gaze towards the young man sitting beside her, caressing each subtle distinction in his handsome features, refreshing in her mind the same face she had dreamt about when encased in stone. "You were the first person to show me kindness after I escaped, and damn it all, I fell in love with you for that. I need you, Todd Hawkins, more than anything else in this world, and more than you'll ever know. I need you to always be there for me. I need you to always love me. I need much..."

"And I will." he asserted, grabbing her forcefully by the shoulders, and wrapping his arms around her, holding her with all his strength. "I'll always take care of you...always...and we're going to be happy for a very, very long time. I promise you that."

She settled gratefully into his chest, and the couple both looked back into the sweeping serenity of the naked heavens, where of one thought, and one mind, both concentrating on their breathing, the slow, methodical rhythm of life expunged and lost into the cool atmosphere. "Scary thing..." she murmured softly, nudging her lips into the breadth of his cheek. "Getting married in two days..."

"You want to know the really scary thing?" he corrected her, his face contorting in fear. "We still haven't found that dildo yet..." She trembled slightly when she laughed, light and frothy, something Todd always cherished. "Annika?"


"Do you...well, uhm..."

"What is it?"

"Do you like Hershey's chocolate syrup?"