Title: Strong Enough 1/1
Warnings: metion of phsyical abuse, strong language
Pairing: John Cena/OC/Randy Orton
Appearances By: Amy Dumas
Disclaimer: I could only wish to actually own more than my normal little OC ladyyy.
Summary: She never could stop lieing to her friends or to herself about what he was doing to her. She never could find a reason to leave; then John gave her a reason.
Author Notes: This is just a little something I had written down and I finally decided to get rid of it. A little shortie one-shot... nothing more nothing less. Lemme know how you feel about it, mkay?
Strong Enough 1/1
"What in the hell happened to you?" She immediately snapped when she walked in the door, obviously noticing the black and blue bruise under my right right. I tried to brush my hair over that side of my face, turning my back to her as I held my stomach with the opposite hand.
"Nothing..." I whispered, trying to blow it off but I felt her hand on my shoulder pulling me back around to face her.
"Bullshit Ashley! Nothing happened to you but your face looks like you were hit by a goddamn train? I don't believe that, so don't even try to pull that shit with me!" I shifted my eyes away from her, pulling away from her and out of her grasp. I sat down on the couch as gently as I could, sighing heavily-- wishing I didn't have to be here at all.
"Amy-- just don't, okay? I just... I just fell.. It was an accident so just forget about it." I blew her off but I could still sence she was standing behind me, eyes glaring daggers. I could have avoided this all together if only she had knocked before she barged in-- I could have hid it better.
"Damnit Ash, stop being so fucking stubborn! I'm supposed to be your best friend-- your mentor-- you know how much I look after you like you were my own flesh and blood... and I damn sure know when you're lieing to me and you're lieing to me now! ...There was a time you never would have lied to me..." I sighed again, against my will because I knew she was right. I hated when she yelled at me like this-- it only made things worse... didn't she know that? Why couldn't she understand?
I felt tears sting my eyes and I brought my hands up to cover my face. The pulsating in my cheek was almost unbarable. I moved again to pull the sleeves down on my sweatshirt as I got back to my feet as quick as I could. I walked directly to the door without looking at her again...
"I'm sorry-- I'm so sorry Ames.." I whispered hoarsly. "I just can't..." I pushed the door open of my locker room, leaving her just standing there, staring blankly and frustered as I prayed for once she didn't follow me.
I made sure my hair was pulled down in my face this time as I made my way down the hallway as fast as I could without drawing attention to myself-- or hurting my ribs anymore than they already were; it was starting to hurt to breath now, but that wasn't even half of it. I just can't do this right now-- I couldn't tell her no matter how much I wanted to... It's not like he really meant to do it..
I kept dodging everyone I passed through the hallways, my arms wrapped around my waist, eyes cast down to the floor as I continued to walk-- my pace getting a little faster with every step I took until the throbbing in my side had me slow back down. Hell, I wasn't even sure where I was going in the first place... It's not like I had anywhere else to go, anyway.
He keeps me under lock and key these days-- I don't have very many friends that will still talk to me. Not after what he's done to all the people who have tried to "help" me. Most of them are just as afraid of him as I am... I might even lose Amy now after the way I treated her... God, I don't know why I can't say no to him, I don't know why I can't just leave him like I've wanted to for the last four months-- I just, I don't know... I just can't.
I was so smitten by him in the beginning I kept telling myself I was lucky to be with him-- I chose to ignore my gut feeling that he really wasn't the gentle, sweet guy I thought he was... But I guess it didn't really dawn on me until the first time he knocked the shit out of me. And it's pretty much just escaladed from there.
I ended up going straight out back, behind the arena, even though it was already dark. I exited the building and I immediately just let the tears roll as they started welling up in my eyes and pouring down the sides of my face. I just couldn't hold it back anymore, I couldn't pretend anymore; I wasn't strong enough, I never was... I leaned up against the brick wall of the building but even that made me whince in pain...
Damnit... I can't take this anymore. I can't do it, I just can't... I haven't worked a match in months because I'm in more pain now than wrestling ever caused. I'm alienating what friends I have left-- I don't eat, I don't sleep... I can't sleep-- and it's all because of him. He refuses to leave me alone. He doesn't realize what he's doing to me and I know I shouldn't do this to myself but he still claims to love me and for some reason I ignore what he's doing to me... because I want to believe him.
I know I'm just lieing to myself again-- sometimes I have to wonder if he ever really loved me at all. He says he does... sometimes, after he's done beating me or forcing himself on me no matter how late at night or early in the morning it is. That seems to be the only time I hear those three words-- I've almost forgotten what it's like to hear them and know it isn't a lie or false hope. He swears he doesn't mean to hit me, he swears I want the sex as much as he does-- but I know I don't. I don't believe him, I don't trust him-- I have nightmares now and I'm sore all the damn time... but the worst part is-- a part of me we always love him, no matter what-- no matter how much I don't want to love him anymore...
I jumped suddenly when I heard the same door I had exited out of push open, and slam shut again as it bounced against the door frame. My first thought was that it might have been Amy; she migt have finally decided to follow me after all. But, when I looked around the corner of the building, I could tell it was a males body outline in the shadows. Fear instantly washed over me with the thought that it could have been him coming to look for me...
When they finally walked into the light of the nearby street lamp my fear eased a little as a few stray tears started to bubble up once again. My brown eyes locked on a pair of blue ones I knew quite well as he walked up to me. I quickly tired to wipe away the fallen tears off my face before he saw them even though I knew it was already too late.
"Ash-- don't even try, okay? I've already seen them, I'm not blind... but now you can start by telling me what's really up with you."
"...what are you talk--talking about John?" I asked quietly, trying to play stupid even though I knew it wouldn't work, especially with him.
"Don't play that on me, you know that won't work either-- I know you better than that. Come on now, what's up with you dollface? Why all the tears?" I didn't say anything, I stayed completely silent. I just moved my eyes away from his to stare a hole through his Jordan shoes.
"Ash--" he started before reaching up to do something he always did when I was around him-- his natural reaction of brushing his hand against the side of my face to put the fallen hair behind my ear but I obviously whinced again on contact. Feeling the backside of his fingers touch my bruise sent a bolt of pain through that side of my face. He pulled back quickly, noticing something was definitely wrong before a soft gasp left his lips when he finally caught sight of my face in the light behind him.
I thought he was going to fly off the handle like Amy did when she first found out but surprisingly he didn't-- thank God. After all the times I'd been yelled at over the last few months I was half-expecting it but I'm glad he was different. I definitely didn't need him, of all people, going off on me about this-- especially now; my nerves just couldn't take it.
"Did he do this to you?" He asked, plain and simple-- straight to the point, his voice a little more monotoned now than it had been moments before. I swallowed hard, rolling the truth around in my mind for a minute. I could tell he was trying to hold his anger in by the growling sound under his words. I couldn't bare to phsyically tell him the truth though... not to him. I just slowly nodded my head, staying silent.
He sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face before massaging his temples a little; he stared a hole through the ground for a few minutes before I jumped a little, hearing his voice again as it caught me off guard.
"How long?" He asked, still being as short and sweet as possible with his questions. I could tell his anger and rage was building up inside of him, so I knew I couldn't tell him the whole truth just yet. He'd go completely balistic if I did...
My head shifted downward again so my hair would cover my face like it had been and I wouldn't have to look at him anymore, at the same time. I was going to admit out loud what I had tried to ignore which was hard enough-- and if this was anyone else but John I would have already walked away from them by now and went to find another hole in the wall to crawl into.
"Four months..." I choked out, feeling more sobs rise up in the pit of my stomach and I tried to push them back down as best as I could. But I could sense him tense up again next to me at just the sound of my answer.
"Why?... Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come to me?" I knew that would be his first question-- that was everyone's first question... and one of which I still couldn't find an answer to. I could feel my tears start to roll freely down my face now and I could have cared less. If I couldn't cry in front of John Cena, there wasn't a man on earth that I could... I just didn't like to. I hated when he saw how helpless and venerable I really am...
"I--I don't know Jo--John... I wish I--I did." I stuttered as I continued to sob in front of him-- a slight shake now over took me and before I knew it my knees were completly weak and I was falling into him; my face pressed against his hard, muscular chest-- more than likely getting make-up all over his Boston Red Sox t-shirt. He wrapped his arms around me ever-so carefully and even though it stung for him to apply that kind of pressure to my back I wasn't about to say anything about it.
I locked my arms around his waist and buried my face in the nape of his neck. For the first tim in a long time, I could actually sense the some-what strong andy quite distint smell of his colounge. At this point I couldn't remember the last time I felt safe, especially in the arms of a man. John made me feel safe. I could feel his cheek pressed against the top of my head before he moved a little, pressing a kiss there instead.
"Orton's a dead man..." he whispered against me and I immediately pulled back away from him, looking up into his eyes again. He couldn't be serious, not after what he had been through already. I couldn't let him put himself in danger like that over me.
"John no-- you--you can't. You can't do anything to him, okay? He shouldn't know that I've told you about this, he shouldn't even know I'm out here with you right now..." my voice trailed a little as I pressed my much smaller hands into his pecks, urging my point. "You just came back from your injury-- don't you remember what he did you to almost a year ago? If he finds out about this he'll do something worse... the--then he'll come after me..." I broke down again, sobbing almost uncontolably and he just pulled me into him again, holding me as I crying all my emotions out.
"I'm not afraid of Randy Orton, I'm not afraid of what he could--or couldn't do, I can promise you that... I'll do whatever it takes to make sure he never touchs you again-- He will never hurt you again." I breathed heavily against him, my ear pressed against his chest. I sighed easily as he brought his thumb to my cheek and wiped away some of the tears. When his motioned slowed I felt his index finger under my chin before pulling up so I would look up into his crystal eyes again.
"He will never hurt you again..." he repeated slowly, his breath was hot against me. My finger tips brushed against his hard jaw outline as I felt a couple more silent tears slide down my face.
"...why John? Why do you have to risk another injury... or worse-- I--I don't want anything to happen to you too..." He sighed a little, brushing the hair behind my ear again except he made sure to be extra careful this time, I could tell. He leaned down at touched his soft lips to the bruise right under my eye. Even though he was touching it directly, it didn't hurt me-- he made sure of that. I knew he was trying to tell me he wanted to be the one to heal me... that fact alone sprung more tears from my eyes involuntarily.
"Because I can't let him hurt you anymore and I can't let you stay with him, that's more important than worrying about anything he could do to me... I can't let him slowly continue to kill.. someone that I love..." I felt a soft gasp leave my lungs before his lips were easily pressed against mine in a soft, romantic kiss-- I knew as soon as his lips touched mine my relationship with Randy Orton, was over.