First, the disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling. The other trademarks are owned by Bloomsbury Books and Warner Bros Motion Pictures. I do not own anything in this except for the plot and any original characters that I may or may not introduce in later chapters.

The Vampire Clans Ventrue, Tzimitzce and any others featured in the World of Darkness are owned by White Wolf

The Beretta M93R-AG is in fact the famous (or infamous) Auto-9 used by Robocop in the films.

Ron Weasley is thicker than a brick sandwich. This story takes place during the 5th year at Hogwarts, therefore nicely avoiding the complete car wreck that was HBP and DH, and the complete carnage that was Hermione dropping 100 IQ points and finding Ron attractive. Seriously, just not going to happen. On the plus side, however, it does feature Ron being humiliated, Bat-Bogey'd and hit in the balls a couple of times, so it's all good.

This story is a collaboration between myself and MagnaMorbius, who very nicely beta's my work, so send him an e-cookie, to keep him happy.

This story will be in several 'parts', which will be released in chapter format. Part 1 contains chapters 1-15. Part 2 will contain... dunno how many chapters, since we haven't actually written it yet.

Author's Note: I apologise for the chapter names. They were not my idea.

Beta's Note: Well, if you'd actually bothered to come up with them yourself...

Author's Note: Why are we arguing about this?

Beta's Note: Because we can. Now, on with the story...