Title: Vacations and Discussions
Author: Lady Yueh
Fandom: Good Omens
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not my property and no infringement is intended.
Character(s): Aziraphale. Crowley
Author's Notes: For my Advent Calender, a bit of holiday banter. I've never written GO before and it's been awhile since I've read any either.

"Remember our agreement."(1)

"Yes yes," Crowley waved a hand negligently; illustrating how seriously he took his companion's concerns. "I mustn't tempt, entice, seduce or do any other wickedly, devious things to the natives." He leaned forward, his posture sinuously, sinful and hissed(2) in a distinctly pleased manner, "But then, neither can you save, encourage or inspire them."

His smirk was grating and would incite annoyance even in a saint.

Aziraphale merely smiled serenely and delivered a slightly patronizing pat.

Crowley curled a lip in mild distaste for the pleasant gesture but quickly resumed his smug attitude.

"I don't need to be reminded. I also don't need to use any of my wiles and charms. Since when have Americans needed to be tempted? They do bad enough left to their own devices without my intervention. I can just watch, enjoy and maybe even learn." Crowley preened(3).

Aziraphale made a sound of polite disagreement.(4)


"Simply a differing point of view," Aziraphale demurred amiably.

"Proof," Crowley demanded.

Without glancing over, Aziraphale gestured towards the pair in a corner booth.

"Lust," Crowley declared with a single glance.

"Love," Aziraphale countered.

"They reek of unresolved sexual tension!"

"Exactly. Unresolved."

"That's because they're both afraid and insecure. Fear leads to the Dark Side," Crowley parroted in what was clearly supposed to be some kind of cultural reference because Aziraphale could not recognize it.

"Fear of losing a friendship. Love that stems from friendship is the purest form!"

"If it were pure he wouldn't be thinking those very naughty thoughts involving mistletoe, a fireplace and--ooh that's not suitable for your ears, angel."

Aziraphale frowned. "He gave them those urges for a reason."

Crowley rolled his eyes.(5) "They wouldn't reproduce if it wasn't fun yadda-yadda-yadda. He might've made it a bit too fun. The amount our side gets because of it…makes it rather too easy."

"Can't we just enjoy a holiday vacation?" Aziraphale questioned mildly.

"Bah humbug," Crowley teased.
(1) Not the Agreement, of course, but a considerably newer addendum.
(2) Yes, hissed. If you are confused by this point then perhaps you should take your leave and return once having properly educated yourself.
(3) A decidedly avian gesture for one so reptilian.
(4) Impossible for demons, difficult for a humans but rather effortless for an angel to accomplish.
(5) Not that anyone but Aziraphale could tell considering he was sporting sunglasses.