December 19th, 2007: I am posting this.

Reason for attempt: I've looked for fics with this pairing and there aren't too many. So I decided I may as well just write one as a side project, even if I don't post it. And then we're here. If you're reading this, I suppose I posted it. XD. Oh, and I wrote the author's notes from the days I was writing this and I'm not changing them, so the author's notes won't be the direct present.

Title: Just a little something I made up as a joke with my friend (she's not a fanfictioner, shame) but it was realization, denial and acceptance. This is a variation. Oh, and the summary probably sucks I'll probably change it. XD.

Author's Note: I've never actually written slash before. It is the 20th of November right now, 2007. I don't know when/ if I'm posting this so it's a reference for me. Please be nice if you decide to review! Oh and for those of you who read my story, this is probably the gap between the 12th(HOH)and the 23rd(Initiation) chapters.

Only disclaimer I'll make for this story: I DO NOT OWN IT!

Chapter dedication: To Q8iya, who is not only an amazing friend but was an excellent beta for this story. Oh, and for the moral support too, because I might not have finished if she hadn't said she would read anything I wrote. XD. Hugs!

Oh, and finally THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING! (And the rest of the parts are this long, give or take a few paragraphs, too).


Blaise groaned and rolled over as someone tried to shake him awake. Unconsciously he lifted a hand and swatted them away, burying his head deeper into his pillow. "Leave me alone."

"Come on Blaise!" Theodore said, grabbing his flailing wrist and using his other hand to pull back the blankets from Blaise's body. "Wake up!"

"I'm up! I'm up!" He exclaimed grumpily, sitting up and grabbing the blankets back. "Now go away so I can sleep."

"You're going to be late for class, and you'll miss breakfast." Theodore warned him, giving up the tug of war over the green comforter.

"I'm coming! God, calm down, man," he snapped.

The black haired boy smirked. "Hurry up, Draco's already left."

"Screw him," Blaise mumbled, clambering off his bed and stumbling to his trunk. He dug out a set of clean robes and changed into them quickly.

"Yeah yeah," Theodore said, suddenly cross, "I'm sure you have."

"Who do we have first?" He'd missed what Theodore had said in his haste to pull his shirt over his head. Even though it was November, Blaise still didn't know their class schedule. All he knew was that he and Theodore had every class together, and that was enough for him.

"Cranne's first today," Blaise grinned, "yeah. So hurry up. Oh, and here's the book you wanted me to lend you."

"Thanks." Without brushing his brown hair Blaise grabbed his wand, tossed the book in his bag and threw open the door to their Common Room. "Let's go, I'm starved."

"You're horrible when you wake up." Theodore informed him. "Some woman is going to be very annoyed with you when you're married."

"Yeah," Blaise said, resisting the urge to say 'or man.' He'd come out as bisexual at the end of their sixth year, last year, but only to the Slytherins and they'd decided to keep it quiet. The other houses remained oblivious. He figured Theodore probably didn't feel like getting into the big sexuality discussion with him yet. They'd skimmed over it briefly, not to mention awkwardly, the previous year. But that was with the other members of the sixth year Slytherins. He'd had to assure them that he was not attracted to any of them, nor did he check any of them out, nor was he turned on by the sight of them changing (Draco was the one who asked that). Eventually it was almost back to normal. Almost.

People were already filtering out of the Great Hall when they arrived and Draco smirked at them as they reached the Slytherin table. "Cutting it a bit close, are we?"

"Yeah, I just love the thrill that comes with the threat of being late for class." Blaise said sarcastically.

"Oh is that it? I thought maybe you two were snogging in our dormitory or something." Draco said, drinking some coffee.

Blaise froze up a bit, glancing at Theodore. He appeared unfazed. "It's even funnier the second time. Or is it third? No, more like twenty-fifth. There's no need to worry, Draco."

Relieved and ignoring Theodore's last comment, which didn't make much sense, Blaise buttered some toast quickly and made a small stack in a napkin. "We can eat on the way."

The three of them stood up and headed to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom in good spirits. Professor Cranne always taught the best lessons, he believed more in the practical side of learning and didn't favor any particular house. He'd informed Blaise after class that he was a very promising student.

"Slytherins," he heard Ron's voice hiss as they passed the 'Golden Trio'.

He sneered at them, murmuring, "who called for the Blood Traitors?" In Theodore's ear, loud enough for only the two males to hear since Hermione's head was stuck in the book they'd had to read for their class. Ron and Harry pulled out their wands and Hermione's hand shot out in front of them instinctively.

Draco chuckled and they turned into class before them. It still surprised him that Ron and Harry managed to make NEWT level classes. Not Hermione though, she was annoyingly smart.

"Good morning class." Professor Cranne said as they took their seats at the back left of the classroom. "As I informed you on Friday, today is our mock duel class. I hope you read the assigned pages, because if you didn't you're not participating." A few people took out the questions assigned for the reading, proving there was nothing stopping them from doing it.

"I've sorted you into pairs, please stand with your partners. Mr Weasley with Mr Potter please," the two boys grinned at each other, "Mr Malfoy and Ms Granger," Theodore hissed hissed sympathy for Draco as he made a show of taking a deep breath before going over to stand with her, "Mr Nott and Mr Zabini." Theodore turned to smile at him, shifting a bit closer.

Of course, since he'd heard his name he let his attention slide away from the partner picking. Instead he glared at Ron, who engaged in a staring contest with him until Harry mouthed, 'piss off' to him and pulled Ron around to face him.

"Did you read the pages?" Theodore asked him, leaning over him to snatch up Blaise's bag.

"Yeah, I take it you didn't?" He said, paying an enormous amount of attention to Theodore's hand that was resting on his shoulder.

"How'd you guess?" Theodore said and pulled out his answers, scanning them. "Its pretty simple stuff."

"Yeah, unless I accidentally blow up your head and we don't know how to reverse it." Blaise muttered.

"No offense, but I don't think you're that skilled. Besides, that is what the teacher is here for." He scribbled down significantly smaller duplications of Blaise's answers and thrust the sheet back at him. "Thanks."

"Of course," he said dryly.

"Now, please get with your partner and have one person line up along this wall," Cranne gestured at the wall with no windows, "and the other person along this line."

They looked at the floor and saw that he had drawn a red line through the center of the room. Slowly they trickled into formation, Blaise taking the position against the wall.

"Now, lets review our reading. Mr. Nott, what was the first step you are required to do?"

"Er… he glanced at the piece of paper containing his copied answer. "You check them out."

There was a collective snigger as Cranne smiled. "Okay, Mr. Zabini?" He straightened from his slouch when his name was called. "Would you please demonstrate the proper way to 'check out' Mr. Nott?"

He felt his skin heat up as he blushed. Draco nudged him in the ribs. "Hurry up, I want to hex Granger."

He glanced at Cranne and then looked at Theodore, who was grinning at him. "Well you kind of…look them up and down…" He scanned Theodore's body quickly, "then you locate their wand…" He glanced at Theodore's empty hands and shot him a questioning look.

"You might have to look a bit deeper." Theodore smirked, waggling his eyebrows at Blaise. Embarrassed, he flushed and gave his friend an annoyed look. "Fine, fine." He pulled his mahogany wand from his pocket.

"And then you lock eyes with them and bow." He said, looking into Theodore's eyes and glared. He always wished his eyes were more like Theodore's instead of plain dark blue. The bowed to each other, and the teal eyes matching his gaze sparkled mischievously.

"Very good. Now Ms Turpin, why is eye contact important?"

He sighed and leaned back against the wall, which apparently made him look very sexy. He hated being put on the spot like that, unlike both Draco and Theodore. Of course, they were both aware of this and enjoyed laughing about it at his expense. He was perfectly capable of being in the spotlight and responding well to it. He just preferred not to.

"Its important because…well if you look away they could, like, take advantage of that and, like, attack you. Plus it kind of, you know, creeps them out if you stare at them."

"Exactly. Who attacks first? Mr Potter?"

"Whoever is faster."

"Correct. Ms Granger, what is the important thing to remember about dueling from the emotional aspect?"

"You have to separate the more empathic emotions from yourself or your opponent will use it to their own advantage." Hermione spouted, giving her usual text book style answer.

"Excellent." He smiled at them. "Remember, you're all above disarming spells but if anyone gets hurt you will be kicked out of class and will have a visit to the Headmaster, where your punishment will be decided. Be wary of the people around you… go!"

He turned to face Theodore and looked him up and down again. A quick glance showed his wand was held loosely in his left hand.

"You know you're pretty good at checking out people." Theodore smirked, letting his eyes travel up and down Blaise's body quickly. Suddenly he felt awkward and self conscious. They locked eyes and bowed slowly. He whipped his wand around in front of him, "furnunculus!"

Theodore ducked and responded quickly. "Heliahm!"

Blaise dodged to the side (narrowly avoiding Draco as he waved his wand in a complex movement) and did a 360, shooting another spell back at him.

Theodore pivoted and ducked all at once, then jumped to his feet and twirled his wand effortlessly. "Stupefy!" Blaise decided that Theodore looked really good in motion and wondered why he'd never actually noticed this when he sometimes watched him in Quidditch practice, his hair looked amazing, caressing his forehead like that...


"Ouch." He mumbled as he opened his eyes. He was lying on the floor and Theodore's grinning face was staring down at him. He shut his eyes again, murmuring something along the lines of, 'I never want to wake up to that again.'

"That was, by far, one of the fastest duels I've ever had in my class." Cranne's voice said, sounding amused. To Blaise's mortification he realized the entire class was watching. "Good job Mr Nott. Five points to Slytherin."

Theodore smirked, "thank you, sir."

"I noticed you didn't respond to Mr Nott's last spell, did something distract you?"

"No!" He exclaimed, remembering how he'd been mesmerized by Theodore's hair. His hair! Of all things.

"Okay," Theodore sniggered, "then you're horrible at dueling."

"I suppose I am."

Looking slightly disconcerted by that response, he offered Blaise his hand. Ignoring the gesture he sighed. "The whole class is watching, aren't they?" Of course, he'd already established that fact, he only wanted reassurance that he hadn't damaged his head. Well maybe he had prior this incident, he'd stood there staring at Theodore's hair while he was under attack. How stupid could you get?

"Yeah, actually they are." Theodore laughed, taking his hand away.


"Be a man." Draco smirked, staring down at his friend lying on the floor.

"I am a man." He snapped, "one who doesn't live for attention."

"Well you're nearly always with me, and I am so devastatingly handsome people can't look away. Naturally they're going to look at you too. Then they're going to puzzle over why someone as amazingly sexy as myself has a best friend as stunningly unattractive as you."

He frowned and felt anger bubbling up. "Shut up." He made to stand up and Theodore held his hand out. Shoving it out of the way he got up by himself and glared around at the class. "What?"

They all shrugged and slowly went back to their mock duels. Blaise turned quickly when Theodore rested his arm on his shoulder. "Ready to lose again?" Blaise shrugged out of the hand and glared at him, turning to Professor Cranne.

"I'm not feeling very well, must have been the fall. Can I go to the Hospital Wing?"

Cranne looked at Theodore with a slight smile, "if your partner obliges…"

"I'm sure that since he's so good he will be able to join a group of three and take on two at once." Blaise said stiffly, "Weasley and Potter might be good opponents."

Theodore gave him a 'what the hell is up with you' look as Cranne grinned jovially and led him to the said males. He smirked at him and then turned to leave. So what if he was overreacting? Theodore just got so damn annoying sometimes.

He didn't actually go to the Hospital Wing, instead he decided to go back to their Common Room. They had double Defense Against the Dark Arts first and then lunch, so he had half the day to himself.

With a sigh he threw himself onto his bed, he had some sleep that needed catching up on…


"What is up with you?" Theodore hissed, shaking him violently awake.

"Go away." Blaise growled, shoving him away and pulling the covers over his head.

"Why did you leave?" He pulled them back, "you're such a moody prat."

"I'm not moody." Blaise snapped, glaring at Theodore. "I just don't want to be around you right now."

"Honestly," Theodore gave an exasperated sigh. "Did I make you feel sad, Zabini? Did I hurt your feelings? Because if I did, you seriously need to get a grip."

He took his pillow and threw it at Theodore's head, taking the time in which Theodore caught it with both hands to pull the blankets back over his head.

"Why are you so immature?" Theodore growled, circling the bed and pulling the blankets off him at the end of the bed and threw them to the floor.

"Why can't you leave me alone!" He sat up, shaking his tussled hair out of his eyes. "I am so sick of you."

"Ouch, that one hurt." Theodore said sarcastically, folding his arms across his chest. "If I'd known in first year that my best friend was going end up a moody queer I might have reconsidered my choice."

Blaise felt his jaw drop and stiffened, staring at his friend in shock. He felt like someone had just punched him in the gut. A moody queer? Was that what he was now? "Fuck off Nott."

"What?" Theodore asked, surprised. What had he said that caused Blaise to shout at him? Blaise was storming from the room and he jumped forward, catching his wrist.

"Don't touch me." Blaise said frostily. "You might get moody queer germs."

He let go and watched as the door was thrown open and his best friend stalked through it and stomped down the stairs. "Oh." That had come out wrong.


Blaise spent the rest of the day with Draco. He ate lunch with him but refused to tell him why he was upset. "I'm not upset." He'd snapped, "I'm pissed off."

"Of course, there's such a big difference," Draco had said, rolling his eyes. "Did you and Theodore have a lover's quarrel?"

"That's not funny." He'd hissed, biting into a sandwich more viciously then necessary. Draco had given him a piercing look and then looked away, leaving him alone for the rest of lunch.

In Potions he sat at a table with Draco and Pansy, leaving Theodore with Crabbe and Goyle near the back. He made his potion diligently, laughing as Draco insulted the Gryffindors and Snape docked points from them for retaliating.

In Herbology he worked with Draco on repotting the massive supply of baby Venomous Tentaculas. Though he did laugh rather nastily when Theodore was bitten.

In History of Magic (why did he take that at NEWT level again? Oh yeah, he and Theodore had taken it together so they could do whatever they wanted during that class and make it seem like they were doing work) he simply slept. He didn't dream, which he was thankful for because he talked in his sleep.

And then at dinner he stabbed his food and scowled at it as Theodore and Draco had an animated conversation about Quidditch. No attempt to include him! Of course, he would have come up with a witty remark as to exactly why he didn't want to while shooting his best death look at Theodore(which was very effective, a fifth year Gryffindor actually starting crying when he did it to them. In fact, Theodore took a picture of him doing it, just for referral).

He stood up abruptly, "I'm going to the Common Room. See you later, Drake." Referring to the nickname he'd taken to calling Draco a few years ago meant he was in a mood, as people referred to his unstable mood swings.

As he turned away he was certain he heard Draco say, "smooth, Nott. Really smooth," though he couldn't be certain. Instead of going to the Common Room as he'd said, he found himself walking into the library. This really wasn't a surprise, he always came here after dinner. When he came in there, he never read. He pulled a book off the shelf, hid in a secluded corner and pretended to read while letting his thoughts run amok. The only person who he'd ever met in there was Hermione Granger. She was the only one who went far enough back to where he was, where the really serious academic books were

At first they nearly always saw each other. They didn't talk though, Hermione might ask him if he'd seen a book on who knows what and he might point vaguely at a shelf, saying he might've caught a glimpse of it. They acknowledged each other's presence with nods and the occasional smile if they were having good days. If Hermione couldn't reach a book, instead of getting the ladder she would ask if he could please get it. He would respond that yes, he would get it and she would reply with a smile and a 'thanks'.

But then she would go back to her table, he would go back to his and they would leave each other alone. About a month ago he'd walked slowly over to his table and cleared his throat, tapping the table top with his fingers. She'd looked up, her eyebrows raised. "Hello?"

"Granger…" he'd said slowly, "this is my table."

She'd looked mildly surprised, "oh, yes I know."

"And you're sitting in it." He'd pressed on, keeping his tone snappy.

"You're not usually here on Fridays." She'd said, "and this was my table before you started coming here."

"It was?" He'd asked dubiously, if it had been him he would have told her to get the hell out.

"Yeah." She'd said, looking down at her book. "This is really interesting, so if you want to you can sit here and if you don't you can sit at another table. I don't have time for silly inter-house rivalries right now."

"Er, right." He'd said, not moving. Five minutes passed as he stood there and stared at her reading, her eyes moving quickly across the page.

"Look, you're really distracting me." She'd finally snapped, " will you either sit down or leave."

"Fine," he'd said, snatching a book off the shelf and collapsing into a chair across from her. The next three hours were passed in complete silence. They didn't look at each other, talk to each other or acknowledge each other. They were just there. Finally he'd stood up and put the book away. "See you here tomorrow?"

She hadn't looked up, "yes."

That was how their strange relationship had formed. Every day after dinner he would go to the library, sit there and think while staring at his book in case Madame Pince decided to come over. Of course she didn't, because Hermione was there and she was like a bright little angel to the staff. It went like this:

"Hi." Hermione would say without looking up.

"Hi." He would grab a book from a shelf and sit down. "How was your day?"

She would answer with a "fine," "okay," or "Ron and I got in a fight." Sometimes it would be something pertaining to her grades like, "I got an outstanding on my essay today."

He would say, "that's good," or "about what?" or "not surprising."

"How about yours?" She still wouldn't have looked away from her book.

"Fine," "I had a fight with Draco/Theodore," and "horrible," were the three most common responses. Then they would drop into silence and wouldn't say anything until the first person left with a, "see you tomorrow?"

It wasn't personal, it was an 'I'll put up with you' kind of thing. So, as horribly cliché as it is to say, he wasn't expecting anything different on that day. Of course, that pretty much meant that something in their exchange would be weird because that's how things are. Once you get into a regular schedule of things its broken.

"Hi." She said, turning the page in a rather large, dusty volume.

"Hi." He picked up Curse the Evil From Yourself, a pretty pointless book about using cleansing spells to rid yourself of negativity. "How was your day?"

"Pretty good, Ron and I aren't fighting anymore. He actually apologized." She smiled faintly.

"Really?" He was surprised, from what she told him about their fights he never apologized. "That's weird."

"Kind of sweet." She replied, "how about you?"

"Horrible. I got in a fight with Theodore." He sat down, disgruntled.

"I noticed," she said dryly, turning another page. How she read that fast he didn't know. "In Defense Against the Dark Arts, right?"

"Sort of, yeah, and after that." He said, frowning slightly. "He called me a moody queer."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he's a prat." Blaise said, he'd completely forgotten that Hermione didn't know he was bisexual.

"I sort of figured that out, what with him being completely arrogant and a pompous git. In fact, he's a downright son of a bitch." Hermione said calmly. It was the first time he'd heard her curse. Well second, actually, the first was when she'd realized she wouldn't be able to cram the last half of her extensive notes into her already nine inch essay because the teacher wouldn't accept anything over ten inches. (Blaise had suspected that Professor Vector had set that with Hermione in mind).

"Yeah…" he trailed off and opened the book. "Say… Granger?"

"Hmmm?" She said, jotting down a note from the book she was immersed in.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"What?" She snapped her head around to look at him, her cheeks slowly turning red. "Yes, I have, actually."

"Huh." He said, thinking this over. She wasn't all that bad. Not that he was considering her romantically. Hell no. He was just wondering how Ron had taken to that. After that they plunged into silence and Blaise noticed that Hermione's eyes paused to focus on one spot on the page and she bit her lip, glanced his way and then went back to reading.

Several hours later (sometimes it surprised him that he was able to sit there that long) he closed the book and stood up. As he placed it back on the shelf he looked over at her, "see you tomorrow?"

"Yes." She said, still not looking up. Once again he was struck with amazement as she didn't stop reading and asked, "what about you?"


"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" He froze, staring at her. How did she know? Was she just guessing? Did that mean other people could pick up clues and guess too? Was it so noticeable that he was attracted to Theodore? Did someone let it sli- wait a second! Attracted to Theodore?

"No," he said calmly, trying to keep his voice from shaking, both from his most recent thought and from having someone figure him out so quickly, "no I haven't."

"Don't worry about it." She said absentmindedly, "he'll come around."

He considered two possibilities. He could stay and try to figure out what she meant (which he preferred not to do because her talking presence got annoying after awhile) or he could ignore that comment and make for the exit. Taking the second option he grabbed his bag, turned on his heel and left. Madame Pince shot him a glare as his shoes squeaked and he smirked, turning them to create a shrill screech on the floor.

"Zabini!" She positively shrieked, somehow managing to keep her voice quiet. "Come back here this instant!"

His smirk faded as he was forced to turn around and march right back up to her. "Yes?"

She fixed her beady eyes on him, "I'm giving you a detention. Saturday evening, nine o'clock. You'll be serving it with another nasty little student who decided vandalizing the library would give them enjoyment."

"On Saturday?" He groaned, opening his mouth to protest.

"Now leave, you're disturbing the peace in the library." She hissed, interrupting his useless arguments.

He rolled his eyes at her, muttering, "there's no peace if you're in here," on his way out the door. Ignoring her furious demands to know what he'd said he walked back to the Slytherin Common Room, faced with another issue. Theodore. He hadn't really meant that, about being attracted to Theodore. Sure, his hair was nice enough to look at, his eyes were mesmerizing, his body was quite a sight to behold and his personality was likeable but he didn't really like him. His best friend. His annoying, attention seeking best friend who'd called him a moody queer.

It hurt more now then it had when Theodore had actually said it. Because instead of being caught up in his anger and also the hurt, he was left to dwell on the pain that comment had incensed. Especially the 'I might have reconsidered' part. Did that mean if he'd know who Blaise would end up being he wouldn't have associated with him? He'd fretted over how Theodore would react to the whole 'him being attracted to members of the same sex' thing, but when he'd actually come out he'd acted normal. Perhaps a bit forced at times, but normal.

He pushed a tapestry out of his way, taking a short tunnel that ended with him almost a kilometer away from the Slytherin Common Room.

Well if Theodore had a problem with his sexuality, Blaise would fight with him all the way about it. In fact, a fight was just what he needed. Maybe a few punches thrown here and there too, spark up his anger so he could forget about how stupid he was, thinking he might have a thing for Theodore. Maybe he'd hit his head really hard. Or maybe this was one of those times where you hit your head, have a very realistic dream and then wake up to find it was all a hallucination. That wouldn't be very good, he talked in his sleep…

If he was going to fight with Theodore, he'd rather it was without the eyes of the whole Slytherin house on him. He'd have to avoid his friend until about twelve o'clock. It was… he glanced down at his watch, only ten o'clock. His thoughts flew to the massive heap of homework he had. May as well get it done before the weekend. Especially if I have detention on Saturday. Most people did all their homework on Sunday. Blaise, however, did it Saturday evening. . That way, he'd have the whole day to freshen himself and do as he pleased, then he'd finish it and have the whole Sunday to do anything he wanted without the guilt of a large stack of homework nagging his mind. This worked well for him, and eventually Theodore and Draco got into that habit as well.

So he ended up upstairs on his bed with the hangings pulled around his bed, a silencing spell in place and another charm so no one could open the bed hangings. He'd like to see Theodore get that. The only way he would get in would be if he asked Blaise to open them, because he found himself pretty weak minded when it came to Theodore. But with the silencing charm in place, he couldn't ask. Well he could, but Blaise wouldn't hear him.

Every so often he would glance at his watch. Time just wasn't passing! That was until he started not wanting it to pass. He started thinking that maybe it would be better if they didn't talk or fight or anything. Then it sped up and there was nothing he could do to stop it. At 11:15, he pulled open his hangings and looked out. Everyone was asleep in their bed. Everyone except Theodore, that was.

I can still not go, it's not like he's expecting me. He thought silently. But he felt cowardly for even thinking it, so he got out of bed, threw on his pajamas (if they ended up fighting, he'd rather just come up and sleep instead of dressing with any pain he might feel, Theodore was known for fighting well) and slowly walked downstairs, fingering his wand.

At a first glance the Common Room was empty. If you took time to look, however, you would have noticed someone sitting on an armchair in front of the fire. Blaise made it downstairs without drawing attention to himself, he was pretty stealthy. In fact, he made it to the armchair across from Theodore before Theodore noticed he was there.

"Oh," Theodore said dully, looking up at him. "Its you."

"Yes it's me," he said coolly, "the moody queer."

Theodore glared at him, "would you just shut up about that?"

"Why should I?" He taunted, "does it bother you more that you said it or that you know its true?"

"Shut up!" Theodore hissed.

"I am a queer." Blaise said, surprising himself with his calm and acidic tone. "I am bisexual. I am attracted to guys. If it was the right one, I would kiss him. Hell, I might even have sex with them." Theodore's face paled considerably at this. "That's right. I'd have sex with another guy."

"Yeah I know." Theodore said sharply, "I know."

"You've known for nine months now, is it just starting to bug you? Are you only beginning to be repulsed by the fact that I'm gay? Are you only now wondering what I would do if you told me you didn't want to associate with me anymore? Because I promise not to go all sensitive on you." He said this all in a mocking tone. "You're a bit late, though, with all your wondering. I've been thinking about all that for the past year and a half!"

"That long?" Theodore asked, losing his stony expression for a moment.

"Yeah, and before that was the denial thing, and the wondering if I was insane part of the whole situation." Blaise said, "do you think if someone had asked me two years ago if I wanted to be gay, I would say yes? I didn't tell you because I knew you would react like this."

"Like what? I'm not reacting at all!" Theodore said furiously, clenching his fists on the edge of the seat cushions.

"You called me a moody queer." He pointed out, his grip on his wand tightening.

"I know." Theodore said through gritted teeth.

"Does that bother you? Moody queer? That's right Nott, you're best friend is moody, fucking, queer!"

"I know!" Theodore roared, "just shut up!"

"Why?" Blaise leapt to his feet. Suddenly the idea of punching his friend out was very appealing. "Going through a bit of denial yourself?"

"I'm not gay." Theodore snapped.

"I said denial. You can be in denial about a lot of things, not just sexuality." Blaise growled back, taking in Theodore's stance. His weight was slightly forward, as though he was prepared to attack.

"What do you want me to say?" Theodore asked, desperation clawing at his tone. "I'm sorry? Fine. I'm sorry for calling you that. And I'm also sorry for calling you stunningly unattractive, because you got all pissed off about that in Defense Against the Dark Arts this morning."

"Oh…oh yeah." He'd almost forgotten about that. Feeling his willpower quiver a bit he said, "I almost forgot about that. I'm sorry too. Sorry that my best friend is a pompous, arrogant, annoying, attention seeking, prejudiced son of a bitch!"

"Well that was creative," Theodore was straining not to launch himself at Blaise. "You stole a few words from Granger's vocabulary."

"Yeah well, maybe she's been rubbing off on me."

"When have you been close enough to rub off on each other?" Theodore's eyes had an interested gleam in them, swirling in the pool of anger.

"In the library, every day after dinner. We meet there." He said smugly, noting with satisfaction that Theodore's face turned a few shades redder. "She's better company then you. I suppose its in your favor too, since you don't have to hang out with such a moody que-"

He was cut off as Theodore's fist connected with his jaw. He responded by throwing himself at him and dragging him to the floor, aiming several well aimed punches at his jaw. Theodore blocked several of them, rolling them over so he was on top. Had they not been fighting, it would have been quite sexual as one of them was always straddling the other.

Several cuts, bruises, a lot of blood, two broken noses, three cracked ribs and a broken wrist later they were standing several feet apart, glaring daggers at each other. He hadn't lost the fight, exactly. Theodore had a broken wrist and a lot of bruises, a black eye and several cuts. "Don't talk to me again." Theodore got out as he breathed heavily, his face flushed.

"Gladly," Blaise said, "and have fun actually doing your homework for a change, it will be entertaining to see you struggle with your own pathetic thoughts."

He turned on his heel. As dangerous as it was to turn your back on an opponent, he knew Theodore's wand was at least two meters away from him on a table beside his now vacated chair. If he moved Blaise would hear him and be able to curse him.

He wheezed slightly, clutching his ribs. This was going to hurt tomorrow. He knew that he should go see Madame Pomfrey, but honestly he didn't feel like trying to explain how he'd gotten so injured that late at night.

Gently he lowered himself onto his bed, glad he'd changed before. It took him several minutes to calm down his breathing, and several more to finally fall asleep..


He woke on his own the next morning, which was later then everyone else. They were all gone. He was about to sit up abruptly when a sharp pain shot through his chest. Ah yes, the ribs. With a few groans of discomfort he managed to get out of the bed. He passed a mirror on the way out and winced. His face had dried blood on it and his nose was swollen. His naked torso (that was how he slept) was covered in bruises and before he could see the condition of his side where his ribs were damaged he looked away.

The journey to the Hospital Wing was slow and excruciatingly painful. He was hoping not to come in contact with anyone, because class should be in session right about then, right? He didn't pass many people in the hall and was getting hopeful he might be able to avoid any awkward confrontations until the bell for second period rang. He was almost at the Hospital Wing and he passed by Draco (who's mouth fell open at the sight of him) and Theodore (who paled and shifted his gaze to Draco, saw his expression and looked in the opposite direction) with a hoarse, "I'm fine."

Hermione actually stopped in the middle of the hallway, a horrified expression on her face. "Oh my god," she whispered, making her way over. "What happened?"

"Nothing." He snapped, grimacing at the pain this induced. He could see Theodore and Draco watching him. "Well I have places to be right now, I'll see you later Granger." It wasn't a general comment, it was a promise.

"Maybe I should bring you-"

"I'll be fine on my own." He said, his hoarse voice was scratchy and annoying.

"You're obviously hurt." She insisted, actually looking concerned. They barely even knew each other, hell they barely even spoke to each other!

"You should see the other guy," he said in a feeble attempt to get her off his back.

To his horror she turned and looked pointedly at Theodore. "He looks fine."

"Granger, I'm in pain right now, got it?" He lowered his voice, this was attracting unwanted attention and Harry and Ron were shooting daggers at him. "I'd like to get to the Hospital Wing. I'll see you in the library tonight, even if I have to force my way out there. Okay?"

She watched him, frowning, before sighing in defeat. "Fine."

"Good." He walked away from her, well if you could call it walking, the confused voices of Ron filled the space in his mind for a few moments. Honestly, it was infuriating how annoying that red head could be.

Madame Pomfrey nearly lost her head when she saw him, demanding to know what had happened. He told her, rather sullenly, that he'd fallen off his broom into the stands and she'd looked at him suspiciously, obviously not buying it. Nevertheless she ordered him onto a bed, forced several potions down his throat and ordered him to sleep, saying he would be out by dinner that evening. At least I get to sleep…


Draco intercepted him before he reached the Great Hall that evening, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a dark corner. Theodore was standing near the door, glaring in their direction. "What?" He hissed, shaking off the hand.

"Blaise, what is going on?" Draco asked, eyes darting back and forth across the corridor.

"Nothing, what makes you think anything is going on?"

Draco sighed exasperatedly, "Theodore has been sulking for the past forty eight hours, you two aren't talking, you've never fought this long before and you woke up looking like shit this morning!"

"I'll have you know," he began hotly, "that I can hold my own in a fight."

"I know, I saw Theodore before he saw Madame Pomfrey. That's not the point, you two don't fight this long. You don't even fight at all. You have to talk to him."

"About what?" Blaise asked roughly, not liking this conversation at all.

"How you feel," Draco said and grimaced. Blaise snorted, hardly believing that Draco Malfoy was trying to get him to tell other people how he felt.

"What do you think I need to say? Do you expect me to go up to him and confess my undying love for him?" He smirked at the ridiculousness of it.

"Not, but a simple 'I fancy you' would be nice."

"I was joking." Blaise said coolly.

"I wasn't." Draco stepped back after shooting him a loaded look and walked away from him, leaving him frozen to his place by the wall. He watched Draco and Theodore stride into the Great Hall, still unable to move.

How the hell does he know?

Author's Note: Finished November 24, 2007.

Please tell me what you think, I'm dying to know! The second part is done but I probably won't post it until the third one is, too.