After a quick glance to make sure to coast was at least clear enough, Jim slided casually up to Pam's desk.


"Hey," she replied, giving him the kind of subtle smile that let him know she was not opposed to taking an extra-long lunch today.

"I've been thinking," he begin seriously.

"Yeah?" she continued, playfully.

"Calling you my girlfriend... it just seems to fall short," he admitted, boyishly rubbing the back of his neck. "I just... I don't think really describes what we have."

"Well," Pam said, her cheeks coloring with a strangely pleasant embarrassment, "you could say we were lovers."

Jim shook his head. "No, that makes us sound much older... and seems like it should involve secret-passages and butlers looking through peepholes..."

"Was there something you had in mind?" Pam asked, raising her eyebrows as if to challenge him.

Jim nodded, and after a brief pause asked her "Is it alright if I call you my 'ho-ma?'"

Pam gave it a few moments of seriously contemplation.

"No," she answered simply.

"Okay," Jim nodded, then slided his chair back over to his desk.


"No, I'm really looking forward to it, too," Oscar said into his telephone, his face illuminated by the kind of warm, rich smile that made it clear that the phone call he was on had absolutely nothing to do with work. "I'll meet you seven. Bye."

As he hung up the phone, he couldn't help but take a moment to share his smile with the person least likely to appreciate it. "Is there a problem, Angela?"

"No, not all," she replied with the usual level of icy hatred.

"Good," Oscar beamed right back at her.

"I just don't think you should be arranging bathhouse meetings on the company phones, that's all," she added, her voice wealthy with undiluted rue.

Which, of course, only made Oscar feel better. "Actually, we're going to meet at the movies."

"Oh," Angela said, just barely restraining herself from asking what kind of movie theater allowed gay men to buy tickets.

"Yeah, we're going to see Golden Compass," Oscar added, unable to help himself.


Angela: I do not have a problem with Oscar.

Angry pause.

Angela: I have a problem with Oscar's lifestyle. Deviant sexual behavior has no place in the workplace and I...

Andy wanders into to frame, apparently not noticing the cameras.

Andy: Okay, I've got the candles, the shackles, and disco ball set up in the supply closet and I've got the only key, so...

If Angela had any color in her cheeks, it probably would drain out at this point.

Andy: What?

Angela points to the camera with her face in a move she probably thought was subtle.

Andy: Oh...


Andy: I'm still not seeing a problem.

Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chiefs