A/N: 'Ello! This is my angsty Janto! I still haven't decided if I should continue or leave as is. Please be amazing and let me know in a review. Speaking of amazing the amazing Lady Timelord has offered to Beta for me! (Cheers)


Ianto awoke with a start, panting as he looked to his side. Only to see an empty bed. It had been empty for almost a year. Ianto sighed and tried to get his breathing back under control. He pulled himself out of bed and headed towards the bathroom to start his daily routine.

'Heh what? Do you think he's coming for you? Do you think he really cares about you?' The man gave a rather harsh laugh. 'He doesn't give a damn about any of you. That's why he left, that's why he gave you to me. He could care less if you lived or died.' The man grabbed Ianto's hair forcing his head up, and pulled out a large butchers knife. He lightly dragged it across Ianto's neck, not hard enough to draw blood or cut the skin, just enough for Ianto to feel it. 'He doesn't care' the man taunted 'you were just a toy to help pass the time. Just one in a long line of playthings.' The man then drew the knife across Ianto's neck...

He always awoke from that hellish dream crying out for Jack. It had been bad right after their countryside trip, but after Jack left it had become much more frightening. Ianto walk out of the bathroom drying his face and hair. He gave another sigh as he pulled on his black dress pants. He grabbed a pale blue button down shirt, his black vest and jacket. He looked through his ties before going with the black one to keep with the theme. He glanced at the clock, 5:15. He walked the kitchen putting the water on and grabbed his blue tooth device. He played with it for a moment before setting it back down on the counter.

The water whistled saying it was ready. Ianto quickly made a cup of coffee. "King Ianto's coffee club" he murmured under his breath. He sat and sipped his coffee, periodically glancing at the clock. At 5:30 he grabbed his car keys, blue tooth, and his gun. He turned off the lights, locked the door and walked to his car.

As he drove to work his thoughts traveled back to his dream, his nightmare. Back to his empty bed, back to Jack. He'd come back about 6 months ago; at first the team was furious with him but gradually caved in and forgave him. Tosh was the first to give in, the others followed shortly. Ianto had yet to, he refused to forgive the man who had hurt him so deeply, who had just left him behind like he was nothing.

That was part of the reason Ianto's bed was so empty. He and Jack had, had something. Not a real love, but a need for another's body, something to call their own. All of the gentle touches, the playful flirting, the innuendo comments, the dashing smiles, the racing hearts, the quick rough fucks. None of it was love, it was lust. It was always about lust with Jack; never love.

In the beginning Ianto was naïve enough to think maybe it was. He had fallen both hard and fast for Jack. It left Ianto wanting more and more. Then Jack died, and stayed dead for several days scaring everyone. He came back just fine, giving Ianto a kiss in front of everyone. But then he was gone, leaving the team to think he had been kidnapped. After the fourth month that hopeful thought had died. It became clears that Jack had left willingly.

Ianto was pulled from his thoughts as he pulled into the Torchwood parking lot. He looked up towards the ceiling. 'Another day,' he thought 'another hell'. He headed inside sighing at the thought of dealing with the glares of the team. The questioning glances wondering why he hasn't made up with Jack. They didn't understand that he wouldn't make up him, that he couldn't bear the thought of having Jack, only to lose him again. Thinking of the devil.

"Ianto glad to see you!" Jack flashed a very Jack-ish grin. Ianto looked at him and schooled his face into a blank expression.

"Morning Sir." He replied stiffly. Jack stiffened a little. Still not used to this coldness from Ianto. He faltered for a moment before flashing his grin again.

"You're in early."

"No more than usual," a small pause, "Sir"

"You really should sleep Ianto, your already cute as hell just imagine if you got a full 8 hours,"

Jack flashed another Jack-ish grin.

"Careful Sir, that's harassment," A familiar line delivered with none of its teasing humor. Just a fact being stated. Jack's grin fell to the floor.

"Right." Ianto gave him a small nod and started to walk down the steps toward the main work area.

"Ianto?" He turned back to Jack.

"Yes Sir?"

"Why?" Ianto gave a small snort coupled with a slight glare before turning and walking down the stairs.