He's a little disappointed but mostly relieved when she tries to keep the relationship physical, because it's all he knows how to do. More than anything, he wants to woo her with candlelit dinners and whispered sweet nothings and stolen kisses in crowded streets. But he's still Chuck Bass. Candlelit dinners are commodities and he can't find the words for sweet nothings. Their vows of secrecy keep them from displaying affection outside of locked bedrooms and hotel suites with do not disturb signs swinging from the doors. So he settles for a small gift, sent to her during her fourth hour history class. There is a red rose and a pearl necklace along with a card spritzed with his cologne. To the lovely Waldorf. He considers chocolates but decides to save her the trouble of heaving into the porcelain bowl just once. When he sees her after school that day, she informs him that although the card was stupid and that roses are not her favorite, it was altogether a nice present and he should be proud of himself.

The next day, she's wearing the pearls. He thinks his heart is getting goosebumps.

When she mentions Carter, he starts scheming because it's all he knows how to do. He wishes he had the courage to tell her that if she would look at him the way she looks at Nate, he could give her everything Nate had not. Except he's a pig and a womanizer, she reminds him, and at least Nate offers her stability. If he was a little braver, he would tell her that at least he offers her love, but since he isn't he settles for snapping a picture of Carter outside of her house and sending it to Gossip Girl before veiling himself and his intentions behind a tinted glass window. Then he gets Nate's blood to simmer lightly, nursing it to a boil during the debutante ball with perfect timing. It's only after Nate is escorted out of the ballroom that he can request a song for Blair. They dance a few steps and she pieces it together much too quickly, storming out and leaving him to shrivel.

Perhaps it would have been easier to just tell her how he feels.

She and Nate are kissing at the door to one of the bedrooms and he stands there to watch his city crumble. After the failure of one of his plots, he enjoys seeing the few badly woven seams unravel. He enjoys torturing himself, watching Nate brand her with those white-hot lips. As the two disappear through the door and let it click shut behind them, he wonders briefly how her fragile skin can handle so much heat. Somewhere in a corner of his mind, it occurs to him that he is dead to her. She surrendered herself to him first. It became something they shared. And now she's giving it to someone else without so much as a glance at the lonely, empty figure on the winding steps. Pressure builds in the back of his skull and squeezes the muscles in his throat. For a few fleeting moments, he wants nothing more than to barge into the room and yank his necklace off her neck before Nate brands the delicate charms along with the rest of her. Instead, he turns away from the bedroom, from her. He is dead to her, and he hates that he's the one mourning.

So he leaves, because it's all he knows how to do.


BAM. Teehee. I wasn't going to post this, but there's not a lot of new Gossip Girl fanfic right now so I was like alriiight! Obviously this was written right after Hi, Society. But that's ok, because it will never be AU, just way outdated :)

review please thanks.