I never thought leaving would be so hard. But I just couldn't stay anymore. Nothing works out for me. Nothing will ever work out for me. And I have no choice anymore. The only woman I only love does not love me back. How can I live here, knowing that's the case? It also figures that today is raining, of all days. I'm standing on the roof of the tower, letting the rain slowly wash away my pain. But it doesn't help. Why is leaving always so hard? I don't want to leave, but how can I live with myself after that?
"Beast Boy," she called from the door. I hold in my tears as the rain keeps hitting my hair and body. I take in a deep shaky breath before finally responding after the silence that seems too everlasting.
"Yeah?" I ask a little more harshly than I intended to.
"You don't have to leave." To the normal person, it would seem like an uncaring monotone. But to someone who's lived with her for years, it's easy to pick up traces of when she cares. I wish I could've found some trace of emotion when she said those heart-shattering words.
"Yes I do. I have to leave, Rae. If I stay… things will be too weird. I love you, but you don't love me. That's already too much for my heart to handle. If I stay, it'll only be worse." By now, I let tears drip freely from my eyes. The rain seemed to get harder with each passing moment.
"I do love you… just, not in the way you love me."
"Like that helps…"
"Look, I'm very sorry, but you leaving is the absolute last thing I want you to do." I sigh. Leaving was already hard, but she's making it even harder. "Think of what it will do the team. Have you even told Robin?" I remained silent. "I thought so. You can't leave. Without you, we hardly are a team. Without any of us, we aren't a team."
"I'm sure you could find a better replacement than me…"
"Don't be an idiot," she said as I felt a pressure on my shoulder. I shuddered at her touch. "No one can replace our Beast Boy. My Beast Boy."
"Yours?" I snort a little.
"Yes. Mine because you are always there to try and lighten up my day no matter what. It's something I look forward to every day. Just to see you is something in itself. I… I don't want you to leave."
"Things will be too awkward though. I mean, I just confessed my love for you and you don't love me back. I don't think I'd be able to handle that pressure." I heard her sigh and a muffled sob came out from behind me.
"So… this is really goodbye?"
"Yeah, I'm so sorry Rae."
"Will… will you ever be back?" I turned around and looked in her face. Her hood was up, but I could still see wetness on her face. Obviously from crying. I lifted my hand to her cheek to wipe her tears.
"I can't say. But, please make sure the Titans stay together. I don't want to see them fall apart because of this. I know you can keep it together. You don't need to find a replacement for me either." She nodded and sniffled. To my surprise, she gave me a quick kiss on the lips. Like one of those ones you give to a family member.
"Good bye then, Beast Boy. You had best return to us one day." I nodded, and gave her a final hug before letting go and flying off.
They say birds can't cry, but I don't think their information was accurate. That was the hardest thing I had to do in my entire life, and I'll probably regret it until I return. But if I can return is in question. Raven had kissed me, but… I think it was something she gave me to hang on to when I go out in the world and start my own life. I'll never forget her, or any of the Titans. I hope one day I can return. More importantly, I hope one day she can love me as I love her. But until then, I have to find my purpose in life. Whether it be helping people with the Titans which I've done for years, or something else, I hope to find out soon. When I find that, I think I can return to them.