A Very Merry Christmas.

SUMMARY: Some of the humans decide to hold a Christmas party for the Autobots, so they don't feel left out. However, Mirage conducts an experiment involving some old Autobot technology and the Decepticons. When the Decepticons gatecrash the party, things do not go as everyone expects things to go.

CHARACTERS: The five movie Autobots, Mirage, Prowl, Cliffjumper and Hound. Captain Lennox, Agent Simmons, Sam and Mikaela. Various Decepticons, but to tell you their names would ruin the surprise.

SETTING: Movieverse (With G1 elements.)

PAIRINGS: JazzxProwl

DISCLAIMER: I do not own or gain monetary gain from Transformers. Those rights belong to Hasbro and Dreamworks. I am just happy to be able to play in the sand pit they have created.

A Very Merry Christmas

Chapter One: Mirage's Idea.

"What's this, Ratchet?" asked Mirage, holding up a spherical beige object, with what looked like an antenna sticking up out of it.

Ratchet was taking inventory of the various circuits, gadgets, and spare parts he regularly carried on him, and was planning a major re-stock. He looked up.

"Oh that? It's a personality restabiliser." he said. "You weren't in Prime's unit when we needed those, were you? Starscream invented a personality destabiliser and somehow made himself invisible. On the planet we were on, which was technologically equivalent to this one, he and the other Decepticons attacked our temporary base there. While the other Decepticons distracted us, he sneaked in and planted the personality destabiliser in the control unit of our recharging units."

"What happened?" asked Mirage.

"Well, all of those who used the recharging units were affected by the personality destabiliser. What it did was change us to the extent that we became, in effect, counterfeit Decepticons, and we went and trashed some of the technology of our host species. Bumblebee, Jazz, and a couple of others managed to avoid being affected, as they were away and realised something was wrong when they returned to the base, and Bluestreak tried to kill them. Bumblebee, Jazz, and the others managed to make several of those things you're holding, testing them first on Bluestreak, which basically restabilised our personalities, changing them back to the way they had been. That must be the one they used on me, because yes, I was one of those affected."

"Well, what should I do with it?" asked Mirage.

"You may as well get rid of it. They're only good for one shot, I have spare parts for them in case we ever need to make them again, and that one's defunct because it's been used up." Ratchet went off to the storeroom to restock on parts he was short of. Mirage looked at the personality restabiliser, with a small frown, which abruptly vanished.

"Hmm!" he said, with an odd looking smile beginning to appear on his face. He had an idea…….

Two hours later, Mirage had made certain changes to the personality restabiliser. The Autobots knew that several more Decepticons had landed on Earth, although which ones remained unknown. What was known was that Starscream had returned to the planet, had first been sighted in Qatar, then back in the States, so it was suspected that he had retrieved Scorponok from the desert.

Sam, too had imparted some new information to both the Autobots and the Army. He remembered that when attacked by Frenzy, Mikaela had severed its head from its body, and its body was presumably still lying where the fight between Barricade and Bumblebee had taken place. (the AllSpark had regenerated a new body for Frenzy at the Hoover Dam.) He'd gone out to retrieve it, planning to hand it to the Army to deal with, but when he went back to the area, he had almost been run over by Barricade as it tore out of the area with spinning wheels and flying gravel. Upon not finding the discarded body, Sam had to conclude that that either the Army, S-7, or Barricade had picked it up first.

The Autobots and Army were also aware that the Decepticons had set up a base on Earth. The Army had spy planes and equipment keeping a crafty eye out for Decepticon activity, and had found out where it was. As the Autobots and the Army now shared their intel, that meant that the Autobots were also aware of its location.

Mirage attended to his duties in the Autobot base, and then transformed into car form, carefully heading for the Decepticon base, but making sure he wasn't seen. Transforming back into robot form, he held the personality restabiliser in one hand. He smiled that odd little smile, walking towards the Decepticon base as he faded out to avoid detection. Starscream wasn't the only one who could go invisible…..

Five minutes later, Mirage shimmered back into existence where he had started from, minus the restabiliser. His work here was done, and now he was heading for some much needed R&R. The Army had loaned the Autobots a spare hangar, after Lennox had pulled a few strings, for the humans had explained to the Autobots that as they all had families, they couldn't spend a holiday they were celebrating, called "Christmas", with the Autobots, as "Christmas" was a day when families came together.

"Tell you what." said Lennox. "We don't want to leave you out, so a few days before Christmas, we'll throw a Christmas party for you. People do it at the workplace and so on, to have an early Christmas celebration with friends, so I don't see why we can't do the same for our Autobot friends, so they don't get left out." Mirage was looking forward to this "party" that their human friends were organising for them, because the humans seemed really enthusiastic about it.

Mirage went to look for Optimus and Ironhide at the Autobot base, but only found Ratchet.

"Bumblebee, with Sam and Mikaela picked them and all the others up earlier." Ratchet explained. "They're at the hangar. They said that because the hangar was so high, they needed help putting up something called "decorations", and I'm sure a tree was mentioned too. I'm done here, so you and I can travel there together."

They didn't take long to get there, and transformed to robot form, walking into the hangar, which was more than high enough to allow even Optimus, the tallest Autobot there, to stand comfortably. Cliffjumper, Hound, and Prowl, were pinning up big cardboard bells and snowflakes onto the walls, while Optimus and Ironhide……

Mirage tried to stifle a laugh, with little success. Ironhide and Optimus, as the tallest ones there, were being used as makeshift cranes by Sam and Mikaela, who were hanging big pieces of tinsel, drapes, and more cardboard shapes higher up.

The funniest part was that Optimus and Ironhide themselves had also been decorated by one or both of the humans. Ironhide (who was trying not to move his head so as not to dislodge Mikaela, who was stood atop it with huge strands of tinsel draped over her shoulders) had big bushy bronze strands of tinsel wound around his cannons, and big bushy silver tinsel "eyebrows" that had somehow been stuck up above his optics. He also had a big bit of red tinsel that had been tied around his neck in a bow.

Optimus had not escaped the decorating either. Garlands composed of oversized baubles and tinsel had been fashioned, and hung from his head antennae. His wheels had tinsel garlands on them, and a big gold star hung over the centre of his chest plates. Other areas with gaps between his armour had had holly and mistletoe stuffed between them, and a piece of gold tinsel was wrapped around his forehead like a halo.

"If you tell anybody about this, Mirage, I will not be held responsible for my actions!" Ironhide said, but Mirage could tell he was only half serious. "I look like the bloody Tooth Fairy like this!"

"Then maybe you should be set on top of that-I hear it's a human custom." said Mirage, indicating to where Bumblebee appeared to be trying to dance with a large evergreen plant. Ironhide growled.

"You are asking for trouble, Mirage." he said. "If you want to live to see this "New Year" the humans talk about, you will shut off your vocal processor right now! And don't try to get me so well-oiled that I wont remember if you manage to put me in an embarrassing position, because I will remember it!"

"Who, me?" asked Mirage, putting on his most innocent look. Ironhide just growled and moved so Mikaela could adorn the ceiling.

Bumblebee moved away from his tree-partner, which stayed where it had been put. "This should now stand properly, I adjusted the base." he said. Prowl and Cliffjumper moved over with some tinsel garlands and some oversized baubles to hang on it, and Bumblebee was handed something by Lennox. "Every tree should have a fairy on top." he said.

"Well, we could always use Ironhide there." said Cliffjumper innocently. Ironhide just growled.

"Well, I think it would be safer for us all if we used mine." said Lennox, as Bumblebee carefully placed the pink gauzy fairy on top of the tree.

An hour later, and all the decorations had been put up-and not just on the walls. Both Cliffjumper and Lennox appeared to be wearing reindeer horns, while Mirage was regretting teasing Ironhide, as his arms, legs, head, chest, and every other bit of him had been wrapped in variously coloured strands of tinsel. Prowl and Ratchet had both been covered in Santa decals and more tinsel and fake snow had been sprayed on the top of their visors. Prowl and Bumblebee had had tinsel wrapped around their door-wings, making them resemble the tree's fairy more than even Ironhide. Even ex S-7 Agent Simmons, who had turned up not long after Mirage and Ratchet, had a strand of tinsel around his neck and some threaded through his belt loops.

Lennox had left, returning with a big sound system, mats to sit on on the floor, and a heap of CD's, plus a traditional Christmas lunch for the humans, and various forms of solid fuel for the' bots. As the humans ate, Lennox turned to the Autobots, indicating the fuel he had brought with him.

"You can convert this to a form you could use, can't you?" Lennox asked.

"Oh yes, we can convert most things into a useable form, even protein forms such as that." Ratchet said, indicating the turkey. "Most of us Autobots stick to inanimate things, but Decepticons have been known, in the absence of other forms of fuel, to convert the bodies of carbon-based beings such as yourself, into a form they can use. Being Decepticons, they don't tend to wait for them to die."

Suddenly everything went quiet. Sam went white, and Mikaela gagged. Lennox, too had gone a strange colour. "Gods, poor Donnelly." he muttered. Ratchet looked over.

"I am sorry. Forget I said anything." he said. Everyone soon regained a normal colour, but Sam knew it would take a long time before the mental image that Ratchet had put in his mind would leave.

It was Lennox who broke the awkward silence. He plugged his sound system into the socket, put in a CD, pressed the 'play' button-and nothing happened.

"Shit!" he swore. "The base must have cut off the power to the sockets. I'll nip over and get them to reconnect it." said Lennox.

"Hang on, we need to invite two more guests and their CD mixing decks. I'll be back soon!" said Simmons. He and Lennox both exited.

None of the humans felt much like eating anything more after Ratchet's remark, so Sam asked Bumblebee if he could play some music so they could dance. Bumblebee was only too happy to do so, and Sam and Mikaela got up and danced while the Autobots watched on with a mixture of confusion and fascination.

Another two very loud knocks sounded at the door. They had been told that more Autobots had communicated with Prime, and guessed that they had landed and found their way to the hangar in time. After all, who else would be coming to the party who could knock with that amount of force? Sam didn't at first even look around at the door, just tried to keep up with Mikaela's gyrations on the dance floor.

It was only when Bumblebee cut the music, stepped over Mikaela and Sam, and assumed a defensive stance that Sam realised that anything was wrong.

"Hey, what happened to the mus…" The comment died on his lips as he turned to face the doors. He stepped back a few paces, as Mikaela let out a little involuntary cry, half of surprise and half of fear, and did the same. Sam felt his face pale and his mouth go dry.

"Shit." he said. Then, for good measure: "Oh shit!"