FIRST STORY, FUCK YEAH SEAKING!

Disclaimer: Actually, KirbyOnKrack owns SSBM. He has a copy of SSBM. He owns it. Right? You guys are doing it wrong. COPYRIGHT NINTENDO AND HAL LABS, DUH.


Smerd's Pub and Grill, 8:27 PM

It was a typical night of drinking for the smashers as the days wore down until Brawl. The air pulsated with the energy and heat of dance sweat and booze.

Among the rave was Pichu, relaxed and loosely splayed out at a table along with Pikachu and Captain Falcon and it appeared all of them were enjoying mild intoxicants. They all appeared to be in a deep conversation despite the inbriety.

"...And that's why Ness ain't in Brawl," Pikachu finished.

Captain Falcon stopped, looking as if he had pounded one to many, but then hiccupped and nodded wisely. "Probably," he croaked.

"It makes you wonder who actually is in Brawl," Pichu agreed.

"Probably not Mr. Game & Watch," Pikachu said, the electric mouse motioning to the simple man who was beeping frenzily and making a strange dancing movement next to Jigglypuff.

"Or Roy."

"Maybe Marth, though." Captain Falcon pointed out. "Ain't he supposed to be filling a status quo?"

"Nah, they have Ike." Pikachu said dismissively.

"I know I'm gonna be in!" Pichu burst out.

Pika and Captain stared at him in disbelief.

Pikachu began laughing, but Captain Falcon looked explicitly offended.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" The bounty hunter raged. "What sort of twisted, fucked up joke is that?"

Speechless, Pichu dropped his shot glass, which cracked despite the short fall. Slowly, tequila leaked out of the crystalized chalice.

"I don't know what you mean, man." Pichu said. "I mean, I have a pretty good chance."

Pikachu snorted. Captain Falcon grabbed Pichu from across the table, splattering drinks everywhere. At this point, Yoshi, Kirby and Bowser, who were supposed to be engaged in an eating match, took notice.

"You listen here, clone," Captain Falcon growled, breath heavy with the scent of alcohol, "You're a failure in Melee. You're a failure, and you'll never be in brawl. Because Pichu? There can only be one."

Pikachu agreed, and everyone resumed to the action earlier nonetheless.


Fourside, 9:00 AM

"Ready, Go!"

Pichu jumped back, while Pikachu and Mario began slugging at each other. Meanwhile, Marth was wavedashing all over the place, attempting to set up an edgeguarding combo against the two should they fall.

It was hard to concentrate on the battle when Captain Falcon's words were still in his head. On one hand, he was fucking drunk. Everyone says stuff they don't mean.

But that still ate at him, still. Why?

"Shit!" Pikachu cried, slipping and almost falling off the UFO he was assaulting Marth on. The hangover was getting to him.

Mario jumped in front of Pichu. Pichu shoved the plumber back and leaped to the next building. Mario followed, and Pichu nailed the plumber with an electric shock, despite the pain that jolted him.

Pichu fell back, and turned around, right into.

Pikachu.

Suddenly, rage, pain, annoyance, envy, everything filled Pichu. He grabbed the rat, shoved him into the wall, took him down. He tore that fucker apart.

Grabbing the limp body, Pichu sighed and tossed Pikachu off the building. Mario torched him with a fireball, but Pichu didn't care. He took the hit full on, staggered, tripped, and fell off the edge.

But that was okay. Pikachu was gone.

The clone was eliminated.

There can only be one.