December 10, 2007 3:30 PM
Everyone in the courtroom was talking about their opinions on the trial. This was silenced as the judge banged his gavel.
"The trial will know begin," The judge said.
"Santa!" an idiotic voice yelled.
The judge looked down on his lap to see a green elephant devil-like creature sitting there.
"I want a pony! I like ponies. Especially the ones with tattoos on their butt cheeks. I also like tattoos. I have one on my butt like the ponies. It's all red and real real itchy. That man in the white coat with shiny metal stuff called it Ecstasy or something."
"Mr. FredBurger," the judge said as his anger was building up. "How many times must I tell you that I AM NOT SANTA CLAUSE?!"
"Dose that mean I get to eat your milk and cookies?" Fred Fredburger asked.
"GET BACK IN YOUR SEAT WITH THE REST OF THE JURY!" The judge yelled at the top of his lungs.
Fred quickly ran to his seat and sat down.
"Are both attorneys ready?" The judge asked.
"The defense is ready your honor," Phoenix said.
"The prosecution is ready," Edgeworth said in his calm collective voice.
"Hey!" Fred yelled over to get Edgeworth's attention. Edgeworth just tried to ignore him.
"Then let the trial begin," The judge said.
"Hey!" Fred still yelled for Edgeworth's attention.
"What," Edgeworth said as he coldly glared at Fred.
"You got fancy clothes!" Fred began rambling on. "Are you from England? I like England. Cause they have the place with the Giant gold R that makes all those games with the talking piñatas and smelly squirrels."
Edgeworth just sighed and looked at his list of evidence and witnesses.
"The Prosecution would like-" Edgeworth paused as he saw the name of his first witness.
'You have to be joking' He though as he read the name
"Mr. Edgeworth?" The judge asked.
Edgeworth sighed, knowing that there were no other witnesses attending the case today.
"The prosecution would like to call… our first witness to the stand." Edgeworth shuddered as he said those words.
The bailiff then brought Fred over to the stand.
"Is this some kind of joke?!" The judge yelled.
"I wish it was, your honor," Edgeworth said. "Would the witness please state his name and occupation."
"…" Fred was silent.
"Well?" Edgeworth groaned through his teeth was he was getting annoyed.
"….FRED FREDBURGER! FRED FREDBURGER! FRED FREDBURGER! FRED FREDBURGER!"
Fred kept shouting his name over and over, causing the people watching the trial to clutch their ears in pain. This was silenced when the judge banged his gavel.
"Order! I will have Order in this court!" The judge yelled.
"Witness," Edgeworth began as he tried to collect his cool. "Please testify about-"
"Do I get chocolate?" Fred asked.
"What?" Edgeworth asked as his anger started to rise again.
"I didn't see any pillows that have those little chocolate squares on them, so can I get some chocolate?" Fred asked.
"Mr. FredBurger," Edgeworth said as his anger continued to rise. "Do you…honestly believe this…is… a hotel?"
"Can I at least have room service?" Fred asked.
"Do…I look…like a bell-boy?" Edgeworth asked through his teeth. Anger still growing to the point where his head would explode.
"Do they have nachos? Pizza? Hot dogs"
"What about burgers?" Maya asked as she stood next to Phoenix.
"I like burgers," Fred replied.
'Just great,' Phoenix thought to himself. 'Another one.'
The judge then banged his gavel.
"It's time we end this insanity!" The judge yelled. "We will take a 30 minute recess and by then, I expect Fred FredBurger to be far away from this courthouse as possible!"
"Can I at least get a hammer like yours?" Fred asked.
The judge then lost his cool as then threw the gavel right into Fred's face.
"Yes," Fred said as the final punchline.