Author's note: This took awhile... sorry. Um... oh, on my Deviantart this is called "Painful Love" because they give you limited space and all that so... tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: Me no own Death Note.

Warnings: Language, boyxboy, OCness maybe... and... I dunno' it's late... .

Beep. Beep. Beep. Boop. Beep. Click! Clack! Beep, beep, beep, boop! Click, click, click, click, CLACK.

The sounds echoed through the decomposing apartment; the source being a Gameboy, played by a stripe-clad, goggles-wearing boy… the one and only Matt.

He watched the tiny, pixel-formed cars race around the miniature race track. Pressing absently at the buttons, he attempted to lead his own car to victory. Usually he was completely absorbed in such mindless games like this… but there was something else that kept coming up in the boy's mind… something covered in tight leather and addicted to chocolate.

Matt admitted to himself that he had… developed a crush on said chocolate addict when he first saw him at Wammy's house… though he'd never say that aloud.

The door flew open, hitting the wall and bouncing back; almost hitting the person who strode into the room. There was the clicking of boots on the floor and the swish of a jacket being thrown down.

The clicking started again, but this time stopped near the redhead; who was comfortably smashed between two foam-ejecting cushions.

"Fucking useless…" The voice said. Matt didn't have to look up to know who had spoken… it was Mello, of course, the same boy that had been haunting his thoughts only moments before.

The comment stopped the redhead; his fingers frozen over the plastic Gameboy buttons. Mello walked away as he snapped off another piece of chocolate. The gamer knew he should be used to the other's harassments, but it still cut him deep whenever Mello offended him in some way… though he'd never show it.

The Gameboy, which had momentarily been forgotten, flashed and beeped as two cars in front of Matt's crossed the finish line. The redhead's goggle-covered eyes snapped back down to his game; his fingers moving at hyper speed to make up for the lost time.

His car came in third.

Third, huh? Yeah… Kinda' like me and that whole L spiel …At least Mello's in second! I guess I've never really cared about being L, but… in second place at least you get some kind of ribbon… Well, first gets the blue ribbon, of course, second gets the… I don't know… some color ribbon, and third just gets a pat on the back and a 'nice try, retard!' While they walk away thinking about how stupid you are and think that have to pity you and treat you like a baby even if you don't want any of it.

Matt's eyes traveled over to Mello, who was making his way to the kitchen… for more chocolate, most likely.

I probably am pretty useless, aren't I? Maybe he complains for a good reason instead of just doing it to nag…The gamer thought miserably.

Different colors from his Gameboy displaying a large '3' danced across his face and reflected off his orange-tinted goggles.

He reached for his lighter and cigarette box.

Pulling out one of the thin tubes, he flicked on the lighter; a small flame appeared.

"I'm sorry for being useless, Mello." He said before taking a long drag from his cigarette. He wasn't quite sure if the blonde had heard him… but he had meant what he said.

The kitchen door flew open and Mello burst into the room. He placed his leather covered hands on the back of the couch and leaned in slightly toward the redhead.

"What did you say?" The blonde snapped. His fierce blue eyes snapped over to the fag between Matt's lips. "And what did I say about the damn smoking?!" He demanded as he flicked the offensive stick out of Matt's mouth.

The redhead looked longingly at the now burned out cig before looking back at Mello with his usual indifferent expression. The blonde's eyes locked with Matt's goggle-covered ones. Matt could swear the blue eyes were burning a hole in his head.

"Tell. Me. What. You. Said." Mello snapped in a hushed voice. Matt couldn't pull his eyes away from the other man's, "I…uh… said that…" The gamer was speechless… with Mello that close to him.

"Matt!" The blonde warned as he got closer to the redhead's face. The movement was probably supposed to be intimidating in the blonde's mind, but to Matt, this movement was very embarrassing… not to mention sexy on Mello's part. The redhead kicked himself for thinking that and took a breath to answer Mello.

"I apologized." The gamer answered, unable to come up with anything more, he diverted his gaze down to his hands to put up the pretense that he had gone back to his video games.

Mello leaned back and away from the small couch. The blonde took a seat next to Matt, kicking the redhead's leg, which had been stretched out over all of the cushions, so he could sit down.

"What for?" Mello asked as he snapped off another piece of chocolate. "For being… useless, like you said." The smoker answered nonchalantly.

The blonde pulled off another piece of chocolate with his teeth, pondering Matt's answer. A small smirk worked its way onto Mello's lips. "Psh. You should be sorry because it's true. You're useless… get to work… Oh, I still have to work out the kinks in next week's plan… I should get on that…" With that demand the blonde left and went into his room, where he probably wouldn't come out of for about and hour.

Mello, like he said, was probably trying to work out the kinks in all of the plans he had… but Mello was also probably contacting someone in he mafia… someone Mello didn't want Matt to know about.

Maybe he's going to off me or something… The gamer thought absently as he grabbed one of the various laptops that cluttered the dull carpets and tables.

The redhead prepared himself for more mindless and continuous hacking like usual. He prepared himself for the fingers that were sure to be rubbed raw by the end of this session. He set his fingers gently on the keyboard and watched the cursor hover over his striped wallpaper… a thought came to him.

Maybe… just this once… I don't have to listen to him… Matt set down his laptop softly at this thought. I always listen… and besides, I'm useless to him anyway, right? Sorry Mel, I love you to death, but… After this thought Matt found himself grabbing his key and a pencil as he walked silently over to a notebook.

Sorry Mello… for being useless, I mean. Don't worry, I'm sure you can find yourself a better techie or hacker or whatever I was to you… I guess you don't like me as much as I like you because I'm certain you don't even think of me as a friend anymore. Things just aren't like they used to be and I understand that now. You could've told me to leave anytime, you know? Matt thought this as he wrote it down on the stray notebook.

Just in case, the redhead added 'This isn't a suicide note.' On the bottom… not like Mello would care though.

With that, Matt lit up a cigarette and walked out the front door, He flew down the stairs and out of the apartment complex. The gamer climbed into his car, jammed the keys into the ignition, started the car, and drove away down the street.

Though the act was spontaneous, Matt knew exactly where he was going.