Rating: M for bad words

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I don't. Really.

Author: Vampire Toy and ShanNemuri

Summary: Craigs always been known for his temper but when it threatens Kyle's day, the redhead is forced to figure out why.

Warnings: TOTAL CRACK. Also they swear and kiss.


It wasn't supposed to go that far.

Not all the way over there.

Kyle sunk in his seat as Craig briskly stood up from across the lunchroom, his chair falling over with a loud 'thwack'.

"Who the FUCK threw that?!" he roared spinning around and eyeing everyone suspiciously.

The lunchroom grew quiet.

Kyle sunk deeper in his chair and Cartman's mouth curled into a smile; it was funny that Kyle had missed his face when he was sitting right in front of him, but it was even funnier that he'd missed him and nailed Craig.

Craig who was now throwing a nice little temper tantrum.

Cartman opened his mouth to point out the culprit but Stan, sensing danger, punched him in the arm. Cartman snarled but began mumbling under his breath instead. It didn't really matter if he pointed Kyle out or not; his bad aim just proved his side of the argument; Kyle was gay.

No straight guy could miss.

Kyle had adamantly denied it, of course, but Cartman knew better.

Meanwhile Craig's uproar seemed to be quieting down.

Seemed to.

Apparently Clyde was trying to calm him down, and it looked like he had, but then Craig got fired up again and stormed outside.

Kyle sighed and Kenny and Cartman began laughing. Kyle momentarily shot a glare at Cartman and then eyed Stan for some help.

"Man, is he gonna be like that all day?" they heard Token ask.

"I –ack!- I dunno, maybe?" Tweek stuttered gripping his thermos tightly.

"You know him, he'll be all moody and pissy for most of the day but by tomorrow he'll be over it." Clyde shrugged, leaning back casually in his chair.

Wouldn't that be a riot? Craig all pissed off in class. He sat right behind Kyle too. In fact he sat very close to Kyle in all of his classes.

The red head could see it now, an irritated Craig kicking his chair, throwing things into his hair, and muttering curse words the entire fucking class, and if he tried to stop him, he'd just make a scene.

"Maybe ask to change your seat?" Stan offered as if reading Kyle's mind.

"No." he mumbled; that would be too much work.

Kyle thought for a moment as things began settling down in the lunchroom. Slowly he formulated half a plan.

"Hey, I'll be right back, ok?" he stood up quickly before he could be questioned and wandered out of the lunchroom, catching Cartman's snide; "Going to check on your boyfriend?" as he left; Kyle only muttered angrily and ignored him, making his way out into the snow.

Once outside, Kyle could clearly hear an enraged voice yelling out profanities. He meekly followed the voice around a corner and found Craig kicking the ground and thrashing his fists in the air.


Now might not be a good time….

Kyle was about to move back to the safety of the school when Craig suddenly whirled around and spotted him.

There was a brief silence before Craig instinctively shot up his middle finger; "What the fuck do you want, cuntrag?" he spat angrily at the red head.

Kyle was frozen for a moment before he cleared his throat and smiled timidly, "I uh, I came to….apologize…" he stated almost inaudibly; he silently slapped himself, apologizing wasn't a very good half-idea, he really should've taken the extra time to come up with a full-idea.

"What?! You threw the orange at me?!" Craig's fists clenched and he raised them quickly.

Not a good idea at all.

"Uh NO! No…not me…Cartman! He threw it at you." Kyle stated hurriedly. He silently congratulated himself on the quick save.

Cartman deserved whatever Craig was gonna do to him anyway. Though admittedly it was obvious that Craig needed some anger management help or something.

"Fucking Cartman!" Craig swore kicking the ground fiercely.

"He's a fat shit." Kyle said slowly, trying to find the words to calm him down, "He wasn't aiming for you anyway."

Craig turned and eyed him; "Who the fuck was he aiming for then?"

Kyle forced himself not to take a step back. Craig's temper was known pretty well throughout the school. He was probably the most easily pissed off person in all of South Park. No one really understood why though, the things he got mad over weren't generally a big deal.

"Clyde! He was aiming for….Clyde…" another mistake, Clyde was Craig's best friend, he would defend him like he had planned on defending himself.

Or at least Kyle thought he would.

Craig's attitude immediately neutralized, his expression falling somber, and his shoulders slumping.


What? Kyle thought, that's it? You blow up when you're accidentally hit with an orange but you could care less when it was your friend they were aiming for?

That didn't seem right. Craig and Clyde were like Stan and Kyle. Always together and friends since forever.

Though Kyle couldn't say for sure that Craig and Clyde were always together, he rarely saw them anymore. He had always just figured that they were together because he and Stan were together. It had seemed like a logical connection at the time.

"You're not mad?" Kyle asked, willingly risking another temper tantrum on Craig's end.

He was curious now.

"Why the fuck would I be?" Craig's tone turned bitter, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the school wall.

"Isn't…" Kyle hesitated for a moment, "Isn't Clyde your best friend?"

"Hah! You mean are we like you and Stan?" he asked, not bothering to hide his resentment.

Kyle inched over to the wall and stood next to him cautiously, "Well…-"

"What's with you two anyway?" Craig said suddenly, his anger replaced by curiosity.

"What…are you talking about?" Kyle asked; well at least Craig wasn't pissed anymore.

"Are you two like…. 'special friends' or something?"

Kyle's jaw dropped; "What?! "Special friends"? What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

Now Kyle was angry.

Craig just smirked, his bitterness returning tenfold; "Do you fuck your 'super best friend'? That's what 'that' is supposed to mean." Craig slid down the wall and plopped into the snow, his smirk losing its arrogance.

"N-n-What about you?! What about you and Clyde? Or even Tweek?" Kyle countered, his cheeks flushing suddenly at Craig's words.

"Maybe." He replied flatly.

Kyle involuntarily shook with confusion and he began blushing even harder.

"Its pretty fun once you get used to it. I'm usually on top though, so I guess for me getting used to it wasn't too difficult." Craig eyed Kyle as he spoke, "You know what my favorite thing is? When they scream my name as they c-"

A ball of snow greeted Craig's face in an instant, cutting him off quickly. Craig jumped up and wiped the snow from his face as Kyle jumped back, notcing that the ill-tempered boy was angry all over again, and this time it was definitely his fault.

"What the fuck was that for?!" Craig shoved Kyle back and the red head almost fell over but caught himself as he stumbled further away as the angry black haired boy flipped out both middle fingers.

Kyle grunted, now they were both angry; where the hell did Craig get off freaking him out and then getting all pissy at him anyway?

"What the hell is your problem?!" Kyle snapped back.

"You wanna know?" Craig asked through clenched teeth, "Do you really?"

At this point, Kyle wasn't really sure if he wanted to know anymore, but he tightened his fists and stood a little taller; "Damn right I wanna know!"

"Fine then! FINE. You know what? Cartman threw an orange at me! An ORANGE! He wasn't even aiming for me but DAMMMIT IT HIT ME!" Craig flailed his hands in the air wildly; "You know what else is up my ass? Stan! I can't stand him, I can't stand how he's better than I am at football! I cant stand it!" Kyle was frozen, he was afraid that if he moved, Craig would explode and jump him, "…and I'm so fucking tired of Tweek! I'm so fucking tired of his spazzes and his little fantasies, he's a teenager now for fuck's sake! If that weren't enough Token just got another new cellphone! And another new- hell I don't know what he doesn't have!" Craig moved closer to Kyle, circling him as he ranted on; "And Clyde! CLYDE! Getting laid every fucking night; I haven't been laid in fucking forever! He's never changed! He's never changed; not since that list! That stupid list! Do you remember it? That LIST. Dammit! He's still the douche bag he was then! He never grew out of it! All high and mighty! Like the 4th grade cutest boy list matters now, now that we're in high school! Looks have changed by now, I mean…I don't have fucked up teeth anymore! I don't!" Craig's pacing made Kyle nervous, but he continued to listen to Craig's outburst; Craig was, unintentionally, sharing a lot about himself with Kyle right now.

Even if it was in a forceful, threatening and profanity filled way.

"He never should've been number one! NEVER. I should've been number one! He's so far from being number one….the way he treated people! The way he still treats people, how he treated you, because you were last! You shouldn't have been last, you should've been number one. Number one! I don't understand why you weren't at the top! Why weren't you first…" he trailed off slowly.

Craig suddenly went rigid with embarrassment; his cheeks flushing and his mouth drawn into a tight thin line.

"Uh…." Kyle coughed and shifted his weight slightly; "You… really think so?" he asked unsurely. Craig looked at him for a moment before crossing his arms with a huff; "No. Like you could be at the top of the list."

Kyle just stared at him; he wasn't really sure what to think, so he kept on looking at Craig, hoping he'd explain himself.

Craig shifted uncomfortably as he felt Kyle's gaze; "What?!" he barked, but Kyle just stood quietly watching him.

Craig's eye twitched nervously and he shoved his hands into his pockets instead.

And Kyle just kept on staring.

"Yes. There. Yes, I really thought so!" Craig finally snapped.

Kyle was quiet for a moment before he began chuckling. Craig watched Kyle as his chuckling turned into full-on laughter; he grimaced.

"No way!" he yelled, "No way!"

Craig clenched his fists angrily as Kyle bellowed.

"Y-you really thought I was hot? Do you still think I'm hot? Ha! Hahaha! I-I, oh man!" how was Kyle supposed to react? This was all just too weird! Craig thought he was hot? Hot in the completely non-straight way?

He thought Craig was hot.

But in a straight way.

Guys could think other guys were hot couldn't they? This was normal, right?

"Y-you're a fag?" he asked through laughs; he couldn't stop, maybe it was the nervousness and confusion of the entire situation, or maybe it was the desperate need to disassociate himself with anything threatening to his manliness.

Or maybe it was none of those things, maybe he just thought it was funny that he thought Craig was attractive too; maybe that was normal then.

But then again… what if it's a trick? What if Craig's just ki-

All of a sudden Kyle felt a definite fist to his face. He stumbled down onto his back and threw up his arms defensively as Craig jumped on top of him and wrapped his hands around Kyle's throat.

"You stupid fuck-faced little shit!" he yelled, "You STUPID FUCK! You ASS-RAMMING UNCLE-FUCKING SHIT!"

Kyle fought to get Craig off of him as the dark-haired boy continued to shake him and choke him. Kyle's hands shot up to Craig's neck and the two struggled to overpower each other.

Craig's grip finally loosened just enough for Kyle to get in a punch and send Craig stumbling off of him. The red head wasted no time and jumped on top of Craig, his hands finding their way to his throat once again. Craig's hands flew furiously at Kyle's face and the red head tried his best to avoid the random punches.

This is stupid, I don't wanna fight him! Damn him and his temper!

Kyle's thoughts raced and he decided that, his pride aside, he needed to calm Craig down; or at least stun him.

Kyle quickly yanked Craig up and kissed him.

It was probably the most awkward kiss of Kyle's life; sloppy and clumsy, Kyle had to reposition his mouth over Craig's twice before he thought he'd gotten it right.

Craig was definitely stunned, no matter how many times Kyle had to retry. But almost as soon as Kyle got comfortable with his awkward little kiss, Craig shoved him off.

"Listen," Kyle said quickly before Craig could respond to his random kiss; "I think you're…like…" Kyle grumbled and blushed, looking up then away from Craig; "You'd be number one on the list…in my opinion…"

How lame, he sighed dejectedly.

"Fucking hypocrite." Craig muttered with a smirk.

But Craig was smiling again, so that was ok.

"Always knew you were a fag." Craig chuckled.

"Hey!" Kyle blushed and punched him in the shoulder.

Craig just shrugged then his face went serious for a moment; "Are you?"

"I don't like that word…" Kyle grumbled, blushing.

"I knew it." Craig again, his smile returning.

Kyle's blush deepened but he smiled in return; fucking Craig.

Fucking Craig and his…his gayness.

Kyle's smile grew; this wasn't as scary as he thought it would be.

This gay thing.

"So you're a queer too then?" Craig asked again, and Kyle suddenly noticed how much closer he had moved.

"Uh. I'm. Uh…"

Craig swooped his hand around the back of Kyle's neck and yanked him forward, roughly pushing their lips together. Kyle's eyes went wide in surprise but he soon allowed them to close as Craig proceeded to pull him onto his lap.

So maybe he liked kissing guys?

That was ok if there was someone to kiss him back.

Which Craig complied with rather enthusiastically, easily slipping his tongue into Kyle's mouth and slowly letting his hands travel down the redhead's body.

Kyle groaned as Craig deepened their kiss, their tongues playfully battling for control.

Craig was winning and Kyle didn't mind at all.

The way Craig used his hands made it obvious he had done this before. It made Kyle shy and nervous but Craig didn't even give him time to hesitate, running his hands through his hair and down into Kyle's jeans, squeezing his ass lightly. Kyle moaned through their kiss and he felt Craig smirk.

The redhead then pulled away, much to the black-haired boy's dismay, his face flushed and hair tousled.

"Uh…so…do you wanna go to Whistlin Willie's on…Friday or something?" Kyle asked with a soft smile.

Craig grinned pulling his hands out of Kyle's pants to rest them on his sides, "Sure, after school?"

"Yeah…" Kyle paused for a second; "But….we…can't tell anyone." He whispered, as if anyone overhearing his words would immediately beat him to death.

Craig chuckeld and kissed Kyle on the lips quickly, giving him a squeeze; "I'm not ready for that either."

Kyle grinned with relief and relaxed. The school bell rang, signaling that lunch was over, and Kyle flung himself away from Craig almost as soon as the sound reached him. Craig laughed and Kyle cursed at him but both exchanged knowing smiles before standing up and slowly trotting back inside.


Stan sighed, his eyebrows furrowed as he glowered at the two boys walking back inside.

What was that then?

Were they going out now?



"Fucking hell." He spat under his breath; he'd always thought holding things in was best, like his feelings for one thing… but apparently…

"Yeah." A voice echoed in reply to his thoughts.

Stan spun to see a somber looking Clyde standing a bit behind him, his eyes also on the two figures who had long since disappeared inside. Stan's shoulders fell and he sighed again.

"That happened rather quickly." Clyde stated bitterly.

"I didn't think this would happen like it did," Stan grumbled, shutting his eyes as he shook his head in disbelief; "It wasn't suppose to go that far."


A/N: AGH! This took longer than it should have, haha. This was co-written by ShanNamuri (that's her deviantart name)!!! Cause she's an idea ho. It's a silly story :P don't take us seriously. But enjoy it if you will XD. Anyway, we're gonna make a little comic collab of this on DA so if you're interested, look out for that.

HAHA for crack. R+R if you want.