Title: Like To Love
Written: 13 June 2006
Warnings: Fluff, Sap, Lemon, Sorta PWP.
Disclaimer: They're not mine. As usual.
Summary: Sasuke's acting kind of weird. Can Kakashi calm his fears?
Kakashi sat looking out his window. He was anxious but he refused to show it. He was far too used to hiding his feelings, which was why he loved Sasuke so much. He didn't have to hide anything with Sasuke.
He felt his presence mere moments before his door hurriedly opened, and he turned to see the panting boy standing in his doorway. Oddly, the first thing he noticed was that he had ditched his forehead protector somewhere, most likely at his own house. Sasuke's expression was serious and determined, as if he were concentrating very hard. Kakashi's analysis provided in an instant that Sasuke had come to his house as fast as he could. He briefly imagined Sasuke sitting at a table at the academy, knowing the genin meeting was about to end, and struggling with himself not to get up and leave early just so he could come and be with him. He almost smiled. He might have been able to pull it off had he been wearing his mask. He loved Sasuke's cute little determined face. It was so hard not to smile.
Mere moments after his arrival, and just as Kakashi predicted, Sasuke's features softened completely and the boy was against Kakashi's chest, hugging him tightly. Kakashi embraced him and rubbed the back of his head, for the moment content with keeping up with the heaving of Sasuke's chest against his own. After a few minutes Sasuke's breathing slowed, and Sasuke slowly moved his grip from Kakashi's neck to wrap his arms around his waist, though the boy never moved his head from its place on Kakashi's shoulder. Kakashi took this quiet opportunity to speak. He decided to keep his voice low and to speak slowly, judging Sasuke's mood by his actions.
"You missed me especially today."
Kakashi could hear him inhaling his scent. Sasuke's lips brushed against the conjecture of neck and shoulder as he moved his head slightly from the left to the right, pushing his cheek against his shoulder a tiny bit more. It was a habit that Kakashi knew very well. Sasuke did that tiny thing each time he was trying to evade or think about something that Kakashi had just said. He knew why he was doing it this time.
Kakashi knew Sasuke. Today, he didn't want to talk. Today, Sasuke had missed him so badly that he had almost forfeited a very important and very long meeting that he was required to be at. Kakashi always gave him closed-ended questions in situations like this. He loved it when Sasuke talked to him, but these situations weren't disagreeable at all. Actually, now that he thought about it, he liked any situation that Sasuke put him in, so long as his raven-haired love was there with him.
He rubbed Sasuke's back gently, still holding him tightly. Even if Sasuke wanted to, he couldn't get away from him. He was sure Sasuke felt that with Kakashi holding him, nothing else in the world mattered.
His name came out a whisper.
Sasuke shivered. Kakashi felt it. This time he couldn't help but to smile. Saying his name could do that to Sasuke. It was amazing. Sasuke was amazing. He completely understood Sasuke's feelings for him. He understood because he reciprocated those feelings entirely. He could just control his feelings better from experience, or else he would have been shivering too.
"Do you want to go lie down together?"
Kakashi's voice was still low and the back rubbing continued.
He felt Sasuke sigh inaudibly and shift a little. He knew what he was going to say even before he said it.
He picked Sasuke up. Every slide that his arms made against Sasuke's body entranced him. It reminded him that Sasuke was actually there, in his arms, and he wasn't just dreaming. Even in the carrying state, Sasuke refused to give his spot up on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Kakashi's neck and nuzzled it affectionately.
Then something unexpected happened.
Sasuke whispered. He almost didn't hear it.
"God. I'm still hurting and you're right here holding me."
He felt Sasuke grab fistfuls of his shirt. Then he felt something wet against his neck. Sasuke was crying.
He sat Sasuke on the edge of his bed and knelt in front of him, taking his face between his hands gently, wiping his tears gently.
"Tell me, Sasuke."
Sasuke hesitated. Kakashi knew. He stood while Sasuke lay back on the bed, then Kakashi crawled on top of him, allowing the boy to wrap his arms around him. He allowed Sasuke to cry openly while he cradled him. He placed loving kisses on Sasuke's neck and cheek and shoulder while he soaked his place on Kakashi's shoulder with his tears. After his sobs had slowed, Kakashi made him sit back enough so they could be face-to-face without Sasuke having to let go of him. He placed his hand gently on Sasuke's cheek.
Sasuke looked away. When he spoke, Kakashi could barely hear him again, but his voice sounded defeated and heartbroken. He was reluctant to share his weaknesses even though Kakashi knew that Sasuke trusted him with his whole heart. It was completely unlike Sasuke to plea, and once again Kakashi was surprised.
"Please don't leave me."
Kakashi wasn't quick to answer. He wanted to consider what had made Sasuke break down this badly.
"Sasuke, you know that I just want to be with you. Our relationship is simple, you know. I love you and you love me. Why would I leave when everything is perfect?"
"That's not what I mean. I...I've been having dreams. Nightmares."
Sasuke still wouldn't look at him. He stroked the boy's cheek with his thumb. Now he understood.
"You're old enough to know that dreams are just dreams, Sasuke."
Kakashi was tough. But he was realistic. There was no doubt that he knew how to kill romance in an instant. Fortunately, he seemed to be quite good at sparking it again.
"You're also old enough to know how much I would fight for you. Do you think I would die that easy when my life has just gotten so perfect?"
He turned Sasuke's head to face him.
"I've been waiting for you my whole life. Sasuke...you mean more to me than anything."
It was the truth. Even his porn didn't stack up to what Sasuke gave him day-in and day-out. To just be able to hug him, touch him...see his face every day...
"You have no idea, Sasuke."
Sasuke believed him. Kakashi would never lie to him. He started crying again, this time audibly. The sobs rocked the little body that had pulled Kakashi as close to it as it could. Kakashi just held and kissed him. Kakashi turned them over and sat Sasuke straddling his stomach. He smiled up at the love he thought could never exist. Sasuke looked solemn, but in a few seconds, he was smiling as well. He ran his fingers through noir hair and pulled Sasuke down for their first kiss of the evening.
It was mostly silent for the rest of the night. Mostly.
Sasuke stripped quickly and efficiently. Kakashi smiled. What a beautiful body. He had no idea how someone could have such perfect skin; such perfect delicious skin. He ran his hands slowly over Sasuke's shoulders while they kissed. It was going to be slow tonight. Slow. Slow and incredibly wonderful.
Slow meant less noise and more sexy faces. Kakashi loved Sasuke's sexy faces. He loved every part of Sasuke. Every thought in his head, his stubborn and very keen nature, every wandering glance, the boy's irresistible body, and his magnetic and entrancing smile - Kakashi loved everything.
One thing he missed, though. Sasuke had gradually been losing his blush. The more they were together, the less embarrassed he became. Kakashi smiled up at Sasuke, who was now caressing his face. It still wasn't completely gone though. Kakashi snuck a grope around Sasuke's upper thigh. Yeah. There it was.
"Hey! You can't grasp the mood at all, can you, you perv?"
Kakashi chuckled and petted the boy's leg.
"I love you Sasuke."
Sasuke smiled thoughtfully and leaned down and kissed him again. Kakashi turned them over once again and kissed the boy slowly for what would seem like forever for someone watching, but seemed only seconds to the two lovers. Kakashi removed his own clothes so they could finally set every boundary aside and feel each other for real.
Kakashi intertwined his fingers with Sasuke's, looking down at him lovingly while his free hand roamed the boy's body. He stroked his side, kissed him while he cupped his face or ran his fingers through the boy's hair, or reached between them and dragged his fingertips along the most sensitive part of Sasuke that he knew of. He was highly unaware of where Sasuke's free hand was or what it was doing. He was too busy drowning in beauty.
Pretty soon Sasuke's hormones were running away with him, his hips rocking up against Kakashi's. Patiently, though. Sasuke knew better than to rush slow sex. Slow sex was so good with Kakashi. He'd never pass it up, no matter how impatient he got. He gasped at a particularly satisfying buck, and Kakashi took the open-mouth opportunity to kiss him deeply. Sasuke squeezed Kakashi's hand and dragged his opposite hand over the larger man's back.
When the kiss broke, Sasuke was starting to sweat. His breathing was only beginning to be labored. Kakashi thought that this was when he was the most beautiful. Maybe. Or maybe he was just the same amount of beautiful all the time. He couldn't decide right that moment. He moved together with Sasuke for a little longer, kissing his neck and face affectionately. Thirty-five minutes.
"Are you ready, Sasuke?"
Sasuke thought about it. They had made it longer than this without getting desperate, but Sasuke was pretty sure that Kakashi wasn't up for breaking the record tonight. Kakashi really only wanted Sasuke to be happy. It always worked out in the end.
Short and sweet.
Kakashi paused for a second, smiling down at Sasuke. Sasuke smiled with his eyes. He took a breath, and said the most sincere thing that Kakashi had heard from his lips thus far in their relationship.
"I wanted you to know..I would die for you, sensei. I...I also love you more than life itself. I just wish I could find the words to tell you..everything that's going through my head right now - no, that has been going through my head since the moment I met you, Kakashi-sensei."
Kakashi smiled and kissed him softly.
"I won't hold it against you."
With that, Kakashi sucked his own two fingers for a moment, and slowly began fingering his lover.
Sasuke loved this part more than any other, so he made sure to make it last an eternity. Sasuke was already hopelessly under his control within thirty seconds. He deliberately went very slowly, pushing in and pausing before pulling out and pushing in again. He made a few faster motions, then back to slow again. Sasuke was writhing. Panting. Screams held back with tiny moans. Kakashi kissed Sasuke's stomach. Any longer and Sasuke would cum.
He slipped his fingers out, quickly coated his own erection with a slick substance that he had obtained from God-knows-where - probably under the mattress, but that didn't really matter - and crawled over top of Sasuke, kissing him passionately as he pushed inside of him.
Sasuke stiffened, wrapping his arms around the jounin. It felt so good. Kakashi knew he wasn't hurting him. If he had been, Sasuke would have told him to go slower. As usual, Sasuke amazed him. Being inside him was like nothing he had ever experienced, or ever would experience. He was lost already, his breathing now matching the pace of the breathless Sasuke.
Still he went torturously slow. Innnn. Ouuut. Innnn. He kissed Sasuke everywhere that his mouth could reach, determined to be holding at least one of his hands when they both came.
Sasuke was gulping and moaning a little now. Kakashi sped up. He was close. He grabbed one of Sasuke's hands, interlacing his fingers with the boy's again, brushed the sweaty bangs from Sasuke's eyes, and leaned down to kiss him while his free hand then reached between them and stroked Sasuke's erection slowly, matching his own thrusting pace.
He hadn't noticed that Sasuke's eyes had been shut until he opened them partially. They were clouded with the deepest love Kakashi had ever seen. He smiled as Sasuke reached up to him and cupped his face.
"I love you."
Kakashi panted, perhaps a little heavier than Sasuke. He hadn't said "sensei" that time. This truly was a night for firsts.
Sasuke came, throwing back his head and arcing his back, his moans far drowning out Kakashi's. A few more thrusts and Kakashi followed soundlessly. He thought moaning now would be a little anti-climatic. And he was all for the climax.
After Kakashi had rolled over to one side of Sasuke, he pulled the boy as close to him as he could get him.
He whispered to Sasuke, not releasing his hand that he was holding.
"I love you too."
A few minutes of Kakashi stroking Sasuke's hair and looking down at him passed before they were both breathing normally again. Kakashi kissed him.
"You're amazing Sasuke." He paused. "No more nightmares, okay?"
Sasuke nodded, already starting to fall asleep against Kakashi's chest.
Kakashi closed his eyes, willing sleep to take over.
A few seconds passed.
"Do me like that more often."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow and couldn't suppress a chuckle. Actually, the night had been so memorable, it'd just become one of his favorites too.