AN: That's all folks! Thanks to all my loyal reviewers, of whom there are too many to list. EmyPink, ME Wofford, xXChaotic-ResolveXx, CableAddict , coexistlove, Lady Arcane, balou and Sweetcheeksncis were a big help, thanks guys! Its sad, its over... oh well. The ending's pretty much pointless, like most epilogues. Fluff, humor, and I couldn't resist, more fish. Enjoy, read, review!
A warm familiar weight on his chest greeted Tony when he woke. The guest room next door hadn't had an occupant for the past week. Every night, in spite of her claiming that she did not need consoling or company, she woke up in his bed. Their relationship had to be kept platonic, despite both their wishes, but they found themselves spending more and more time in each other's company. Tony yawned, taking in a deep breath before gagging slightly. He opened his eyes to see his sleeping partner's plaster-clad arm draped over his chest. He tried to move her arm away without waking her, "Nothing against you personally, Ziva. That thing just reeks! Good thing you get rid of it today. Plus, then you can wash your arm for the first time in two months."
"Perhaps I should give it a little more time to heal?"a sleepy voice murmured sweetly, "I would not want to risk stressing the fracture. Let's give it another week."
Tony shook her awake, not too violently, but enough to wake her up the rest of the way, "No way, Ziva! You're getting that thing off today, if I have to cut it off you myself! Plus, after you get your casts off, you can take a nice bath without taping garbage bags to your limbs, and having someone help you in and out of the tub." although he had to admit, that was a job he hardly could complain about
She sleepily sat up, yawning, "I get to go back to back today, yes?" she inquired hopefully, "After I get these casts removed?"
"Yeah, but only desk duty remember? Until Ducky and Brad say you're okay, you're not going out into the field." he hated to tell her this, but she needed to hear it. Even if she already knew it.
Ziva sat on Ducky's table, flexing her wrist back and forth, reacquainting herself with movement. Abby excitedly watched as Ducky sawed open the cast on her leg, "Its kinda cool to watch! This cool saw, buzzing its way through plaster, splitting it wide open...plus, after this you can move a lot easier!"
Tony sat next to Ziva on the table, "Careful, Ducky," he watched the electric saw get closer to her leg, "We've spent enough time in hospitals to last us a while. I wonder if they have something like frequent fliers, for people who end up in the hospital a lot?"
"You should know!" Abby chided, "You've got your own coffee cup at Bethesda!"
Ducky chuckled, "There is a little hypocrisy in your statement, Anthony. Not to worry, the saw uses heat and vibrations, not a sharp edge. Therefor the risk is incredibly small that anything will happen. This should be pretty uneventful." he continued his way up to her knee, cutting around until a bright red spray covered him and Ziva. The crimson fluid dripped from the cut in the plaster, and flowed down onto the floor, "Good lord! What on Earth? Ziva are you alright?"
"Ziva? Hold on, its gonna be okay. Its just a little blood, no big deal." Tony jumped down, carefully checking the wound with Ducky. Ziva looked down, confused, seeing the blood, but feeling no pain. The ME extracted a pouch of fake blood, placed under the plaster. The saw had cut into the pouch. This was someone's idea of a joke.
"Goodness, don't do that to me my dear, there's only so much stress an old man's heart can handle! Abigail, did you have something to do with this?" Ducky turned to a pink-cheeked and grinning Goth, "As far as pranks go, it was rather creative. Kudos to you dear."
Abby moved over to Ducky's desk, pushing an old book aside to reveal a hidden camera, "I hid that in her cast weeks ago. I don't even think Ziva knew about it." she turned to her friend, hugging her tightly, "Sorry, Ziva. I thought we could all have a good laugh over it when its a hit on YouTube."
Tony felt his blood pressure fall, knowing now that this was all just a hoax, "Does Gibbs know about this, Abbs?"
"Doesn't he always?" a voice called from behind them, "Ducky, we've gotta go. Tony, you're with me." the ability Gibbs possessed for stealth was legendary, and irritating. He could enter and leave a room without you ever knowing he was there. Last year, Abby gave him a Batman T-shirt for Christmas. He didn't get the reference.
"What about me, Gibbs?" Ziva asked, now free of her plaster chains
"Desk." he told her simply
Tony patted her back gently, "Don't worry, its only for like a week. Its better than being cooped up in bed though, right?"
She nodded, without much enthusiasm, "I suppose."
McGee came into the bullpen, passing out what Tony claimed to be the best burritos in DC. They were all skeptical, recalling the infamous goat burgers. Tony came up behind him, stealing one from the bag, "I'm starving! Can't believe they scheduled personal fitness testing today. You're lucky, David. You get out of it for another week, and the women's tests are easier." he sat back at his desk, "Ah, the simple pleasures of a job well done." he sighed, digging into his lunch
"You didn't pass though, Tony." McGee noted, "Gibbs said you have to take it again next week when Ziva does."
"It was still very stressful!" he complained, "I spent weeks running with the ninja girl over there at four in the morning to train. And for what? To be told I failed." The end of his burrito unwrapped, spilling its contents onto his lap, "Oh, come on!"
Ziva walked to him, sitting on the edge of his desk, "Oh, poor Tony. Do you want to talk about it?" she pouted, mocking him, "You know, someone is always willing to lend an ear if you want to talk." she whispered seductively
Tony immediately perked up, "Really? And who might that be, Zee-Vah?"
"Your friends, remember?" she gestured with a grin to an unfamiliar object on his desk, "You know, I think they're listening."
A large ornate goldfish bowl with two small fish in it sat on his desk. The two creatures stopped chasing one another, and both were now watching their owner. Tony lowered his head to become level with the desk and stared at the fish.
"Uh, Tony? You can't stare down fish. They don't have eyelids, so they can't blink." McGee informed him
Tony continued to stare at the fish, completely oblivious to everything else around him. Ziva grew concerned, "I do not think this is normal, McGee. Perhaps he truly does possess the ability to communicate with these animals?"
McGee smiled reassuringly, "I don't think so, Ziva. Who got him the fish?"
"Me." Gibbs said, slapping both Tony and McGee's heads. He stopped himself before his hand made contact with Ziva's head, "Consider that a warning. DiNozzo is no longer your scapegoat, and any slaps you earn, you get."
"Thanks, boss." Tony started on his casefile, his eyes occasionally drifting from the paper to the bowl. Peering through the curved glass, his view of his partner across the isle became distorted. Most of her appeared normal, except for her chest, magnified to several times normal size. He watched her working, through his bowl, gazing at her with lust.
After a moment, Ziva looked over at her partner. He was watching the fish again. Only there was something different in his eyes. Something privative. "Tony? You are aware that bestiality is not only a sin, but is extremely disturbing, yes?" she walked up to his desk, determined to find an explanation
As Ziva walked closer, the warped image through the glass changed. Rather than a swollen chest, now her abdomen appeared swollen and pregnant. Tony initially reacted with shock and horror, but the longer he looked, the more beautiful it seemed. Ziva pregnant? It could happen. Maybe someday