First Gravi fic! (Technically no though...but this is my first typed out, so W00T!)

Enjoy Krismasu-filled TatsRyu luvin'.


Tatsuha adored Nittle Grasper.

Certainly the under-statement of the year.

Tatsuha freakin' worshipped Nittle Grasper, and if anyone who came between him and his beloved music band would find 67, 819 Buddhist curses on their descendants, and the prospect of getting gunned down by a monk who wasn't above crime.

So when he saw there was only one more copy of Nittle Grasper's limited edition "Krismasu with Kumagoro and Friends" DVD, and realized he was dead broke, he did the only thing expected of a holy sinner.

He converted it to Buddhism, then beckoned at it to join him.

…In order words, he stole it.

And he would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for the fact that he was wanted in all the malls in Kyoto for multiple acts of robbery, and his face was plastered on every corner of the store.

Naturally he was strip-searched, interrogated, and given disapproving stares before he was accompanied home by a police officer, handcuffed.

His father and the police officer exchanged pleasantries ("What did he do this time?" "The usual…stole something Nittle Grasper-related."), Tatsuha was lectured on the doorstep, then the officer left, Tatsuha was lectured inside, he was sent to call Mika (who lectured him) then Tohma came over to Mika's so he lectured Tatsuha too…when all that was done, Tatsuha was sent to his room.

…Where he was lectured by his conscience.

"What were you thinking? You already had 5 copies of it!"

"But this version had different cover fonts! Who knows, Ryuichi's english subs might be better!"

"Shame on you! It's the holiday season and all you can think about is your obsession!"

"I can't help it!"

"If only you would think of generosity instead of Ryuichi…"

"I would, if generosity was a bishie with a smashing voice."

"That's it, I'm leaving. Clearly my guilt trips will be wasted here."

"Fine then. Leave."

"…Technically I can't. I'm you, see. If I left, everything would explode."


"Hmmm…but I can settle on sulking, so yeah. I'm gonna sulk. Bye."

"Okay. Night."

"(Is sulking)."

After that moment of insanity, Tatsuha got bored and fell asleep.


The mall loathed Tatsuha. Whenever he tried to visit, he had to be patted down by at least 14 guards, and a highly trained rare patting monkey before walking in. So when Tatsuha had committed his 179th act of robbery on them, they decided enough was enough. No more community service hours there as a janitor or a plumber. (Even though, they admitted, the boy did know his pipes.) It was time for the ultimate juvvie spirit breaker.

"you're gonna make me do WHAT?!" the mall representative barely managed to hide his gleeful grin.

"You're kidding, right?" The mall representative couldn't take it, and burst into taunting laughter.

"BWAHAHHAAA! Ahem…I'm sorry sir, but this is not a joke."

"Isn't there anything I can do? I do know my pipes, you know."

"The mall superiors specifically asked for you to do the job."

"B-but…fine. I won't like it though."

"You're not supposed to."


And so began Tatsuha's epic punishment as the one, the only…Mall Santa.

Yay for him.


These will probably get shorter and shortah. Mwa.

R and R NOWZ.