Chapter 4

The past few days had all been the same. Dean and Bobby watching over Sam to make sure no complications arose. Sam suffered no physical setbacks and was getting stronger, and although he would have scars he was healing. He had been up walking around for a few days, spending time with Bobby and Dean although still quiet. The only one in the house that seemed to get through Sam's walls was Bobby's dog Rumsfield. The old dog had been injured when Meg had attacked them a little over a year ago and walked with a limp but was always by Sam's side. The dog seemed to understand that he needed quiet and just sat if Sam was sitting or paced along side the young Winchester when he went for his walks around Bobby's scrap yard.

Dean on the other hand had been getting steadily more exhausted and depressed. Bobby knew he'd wait until Sam was sleeping peacefully before getting an hour or two himself. He'd taken to staring off into space or looking out the window. Bobby had decided enough was enough when he walked in the room and nearly scared Dean out of his skin.

"Damn it Dean. This isn't like you. What's goin' on in that head of yours?"

"I was watching Sam. I've always been watching Sam." The older hunter came up beside Dean to see that sure enough Sam was outside, sitting on a low stack of tires with the ever-present Rumsfield at his feet. He was wearing one of his heavier jackets against the chill the winter air had. His cheeks were red from cold. "I've been trying to think of a way to get him back, Bobby. I need him back."

"I know you do, but lemme tell you what I see. I see an older brother who spends all his time sulking, too quiet to be of any help. I see you so far gone in thought that I can sneak and scare the hell out of you, not even trying. You remember when your Daddy and I were training you?"

"Yeah." Dean said turning to look at his old friend for the first time.

"I couldn't sneak up on you barefoot even when you were listening to what you call music and half asleep. I swear just now I coulda got one over on you bangin' two pots together. You do that on a hunt and you're dead. Sam's dead. You want that?"

"God no!"

"Then snap the hell outta it and go get your brother back!" Dean moved towards the door and stopped just inside.

"Hey, Bobby?"

"Yeah kid?"


"Git outta my sight and go bring Sam Winchester back to us. If you don't I am gonna start runnin' outta buckshot."

Dean smiled and went outside. Bobby watched him walk up to Sam after taking a deep breath and plunging his hands into the pockets of his black jeans.


"Hey." Sam replied.

"You gotta be getting cold."

Sam shrugged even as he shivered. "I guess I am. I didn't even really feel it. I'll come inside."


"I know Dean. Just gimme a little more time okay?"

Dean sat beside him on the stack of tires, bumping shoulders with his little brother. "That's not what you need. That's not what either of us need, and you know it."

Sam looked at the snowy ground beneath his feet and studied his tracks from previous excursions to this spot. "I'm…"

Dean cut him off, not raising his voice. "If you say sorry, I'm gonna kick your ass. Got me?"

Sam nodded and didn't say anything. Dean continued. "I thought we worked through some of this before we came to Bobby's?"

"The nightmares brought it all back, Dean. I can't handle this!" Sam said angrily, rising to his feet.

"What nightmares? I've been watching. You only had the one in the car on the way here."

Sam shook his head. "No. I've kept them from you. I've remembered every bit of what that thing made me do to you. Why didn't you tell me I broke your ribs? Why didn't you let me help?" Sam moved to Dean and a hand snaked out catching him quickly by the wrist and catching Dean off guard. He flinched. "It's because of what I did to you isn't it? You can't stand for me to be near you! I touch you and you shrink back. I scare the hell out of you!" The steam Sam had gathered deserted him and he sank to his knees in the snow, tears slowly running down his face, steaming as the warmth left them. "Why don't you just tell me to go? I'll go." He near whispered.

Dean stood and hauled him none-too-gently to his feet, pushing him back down onto the stack of tires. "Now you listen to me Sam. I DO NOT want you to leave! Yes I have issues to work through, we both do, but I do know that I can't do it alone. Neither can you. Remember what happened here after Dad died? I can't let us go through that again. I can't let myself hurt you like that again." Dean pulled over a nearby crate and brushed the snow from the top sitting on it and looking directly into Sam's eyes. "You know, I remember the first time I met you?"

"You do?" Sam blinked at him through a haze of tears.

"Like it was yesterday. I've been thinking about that moment. Mom and Dad had just brought you home from the hospital. Mom got me by the hand and brought me into your nursery. She asked me, "Do you want to meet your baby brother?" I said yes and she let go of my hand. You were in your crib. I climbed the bars like a monkey and leaned in over you. Just looking at you. She had to hold me to keep me from falling in on top of you. She said, "Dean, meet Sam." You know I remember the first thing I ever said to you. I said "Hi, Sammy. My name's Dean. I'm your big brother." I leaned in and kissed you on the forehead. Then I said "No matter what, we're gonna be brothers forever." Dean swallowed.

"You said that to me?"

Dean nodded. "My name's Dean. I'm your big brother, and no matter what we're gonna be brothers forever. I need you back, man. I need your help, Sammy. Help me get us through this?" Dean blinked furiously; not able to stop a lone tear from coursing down his face.

Sam nodded. "Jerk."

"Let's get back inside. I'm freezing my ass off." Dean pulled Sam to his feet and they turned towards the house. "Bitch." Dean said, smiling at Sam.


A/N 2: Hope everyone enjoyed the healing and Have a Very Merry Christmas! Thanks to all you out there in fanficland that have made mine a great one through reviews and support. It truly means a lot!